Mum blames school for not discplining her 10yo child; she doesn't have enough time.

[Hulababy]

BBC article

"The mother of a girl suspended from school 12 times has said she has no time to discipline her daughter - and has blamed her teachers."

Hmmm.

Your child...your responsibility. Surely?

where is she tho? was only thinking about her last night with all these bf threads about

but isn't making her some kind of local celeb a bit counterproductive ? ie she gets yet more attention for being ill disciplined. The family need help and by the sounds of it now her mother is denying she has any responsibility for either the problem or any solution. It surely has to be a 2 way process between home and school, otherwise it will continue to spiral out of control and who knows where it will end.

ah, sorry - getting my MN teachers mixed up I think

LIZS, you're right - like someone said earlier, who brought this to the media's attention in the first place? I spose it's a cry for help really .

How has the girl's father escaped blame in all this?

How are we supposed to instil basic rules of behaviour if the mother hasn't time?

This is an honest question here, I'd love any advive people could give me.

How am I suppused to dicipline a child of this type while also teaching the other members of the class, who might want to work in my lessons. The report also mentions that other support services have been put into place for this child with no effect.

How happy would you be for your child to be in a class with another student who is this out of control? A few weeks ago two girls, in separate incidents wher stabbed and slashed in school, if this child was waving a scissors around, how easliy could there have been a third accident.

In a primary school there will not be a spare staff member to man a 'cool out room', the child would be equaly disruptive in other classes.

I am a teacher. I am paid to teach children science. I can do my best to improve behaviour but I cannot carry out my primary function if a child is this far out of control. Not only can I not teach the individual child, I can't teach te rest of the class either. Reading between the lines of this case the school has already contacted external agencies....my money would be on the Emotional Behavioural social services, possibly looking at councelling. This child will not have just been sent home, that will be the culmination of a number of stages.

So I ask, what should the school do?

She had a step father until recently but he and mum have split up. Not sure about bio dad. There are also 2 older kids.

To be fair to this extraordinary woman, it doesn't sound like she's the run of the mill "can't be bothered at all" type of parent. It sounds like she's been telling the school to be harsher (which they can't be) and has actually gone some way to working constructively with them "A council spokesman said one-to-one support sessions had been held with Samantha and her mother to try to "address her behaviour". "

I think there's probably a lot more to this story than the basic facts in this article.

I think the point that she makes that she is too busy to be strict is very close to the cause of the probelms. While I feel sympathy for the woman's probelms if she doesn't have the time for consistant dicupline in the house this child's problems are highly unlikely to ever be resolved

Found this on the same case, reported by the mirror

'SCHOOL REPORT

February 22: Walked into class being noisy and had a CD which she played aloud despite requests to put it away. Climbed through classroom window. Called her teacher a 'f whore' and swore on several occasions. Walked out of school

March 4: Refused to do as asked. Repeatedly distracted other children. Aggressive behaviour. Used bad language. Endangered her safety by going out of school grounds. Was disruptive April 18: Rude and offensive. Told teachers that she 'did not care', that school was 'rubbish' and that her 'mum does not care if I'm not working or doing my best'.

July 19: Brought a pair of scissors to the school which she brandished in class in a threatening and aggressive manner. Kicked teacher in the knee. Climbed on top of school roof. Climbed a tree and refused to get down

September 29: Abusive to staff

November 21: Climbed on top of wall bars and refused to get down'

To be quite honest, since she is so violent and abusive to her teachers I don't see why they should be expected to work with her.

While I have evry sympathy with the child, who obviously has deep seated and major probelsm which need to be addressed I do not feel that this can be done, with safety for the child , her teacher, or class mates, while she is in main stream school.

I would not teach a child who had assaulted me.

Hmmm

EBD

No bloody support is there!

No.

This is a classic case of a child behaviour not being helped in school or out of it!

Excluding her isn't solving the problems, however while the child is in the class her problems aren't being addressed either and while that is going on the education of the whole class is being deep sixed, and the teacher driven further to leaving the profession.

ARGGGHHH

EBD schools are what is needed, or EBD usits attached to mainstream! Sorry we have to include everone now, don't we. ARSE!

isn't that stuff supposed to be confidential?

Am a bit that it's been given to the media tbh. She's only 10 fgs!

I wonder if her mother made it public? Why is this story actually in the news, it's not a court case or anything is it?

She obviously can't be dealt with in mainstream school, but I bet there's nowhere else for her to go.

Just realised she's only 10

My kid's school has an EBD unit attached to it (at least I think so, it's for kids with behavioural problems). I think it is deeply dodgy that her school reports are in the papers. What price confidentiality here?

IMO Discipline starts at home. One of the basic rules is to have respect for elders (i.e teachers) if this isn't being taught from home, from an early age, what chance do the school have?

It is a parents responsibility to discipline their children from as young as possible, at least then then teachers will have something to work with.

We have our children, therefore they are our responsibility.

I do agree however, that somebody needs to find out why she is behaving in such a way & do something about it. Again, this lies at the mother's door. If she is happy to bury her head in the sand with such remarks as "I have no time to discipline my daughter" why should the school care about her discipline? It is obvious to me that if the school did try, it wouldn't be followed thru at home so it would just be a waste of time.

I had a parent say to me during a parent teacher interview - I know my son is an ar**hole - what do you expect me to do about it?!?! I had only been teaching a couple of years. I politely pointed out that he was part of a class of 30 which I taught for 40 minutes a day - what was it that he was expecting me to do. I did feel sorry for the kid - mum and dad had split up and mum felt so guilty that she let him do and have anything he wanted to. dad was working long hours and so was not around much - then I expect this 14yo who is basically bringing himself up to sort it iyswim - no excuses though for poor behaviour.

I don't think that the school can do anything if her mother doesn't back it up at home.

As parents we know that it is futile to try to discipline a child unless you are consistant . In fact, inconsistant parenting is ofeten counter productive. We know that if we deal with tantrums by ignoring and distraction and our dh gives in to the child, the child isnever going to stop!

Why then, do people think that the school can do something when the child is only there for say around 30 hours a week with 13 weeks of no school at all. the bulk of the child time is with the parents..

What can they do? A primary will not have a 'sin bin' or chill out room. There will not be staff on a 'free' to man an internal exclusion.