Absent fathers to be made into scape goats

[ivykaty44]

absent fathers

as a single mother who has lived without maintenence for periods of time and at times struggled to make ends meet I still think it is awful to suggest making a group of people stigmatised.

there are good NoneResidentParents and there are useless NRP, it isn't just absent fathers but sometimes absent mothers. What sort of country do we live in thuogh where we would want to stigmatise a whole group of people.

Better to keep the CSA free and make it work rather than the clerical mess it is at the moment.

Ha! Must be the second option then

Mary, well you have won my "misogynist of the day" award, due to the twaddle you speak. I hope you can go to bed happy.

LOL at us being 'passive aggressive' and the 'unarmed witless'.

We're not the ones who have managed to insult SAHMs, people on benefits, and lone parents.

I think you'll also find that we're also not the ones that haven't resorted to actual insults of posters and instead stuck to criticism of your arguments. Always makes me feel like I've won when people call me names instead of engaging with the debate.

I'll add a to confirm my passive aggression.

Terrible double negative in that last paragraph, sorry.

Ah so, if we don't agree with you then we are passive aggressive or witless? Ha ha ha ha. Has Dittany gone on her holidays? I would love to see her response to you.

But you only shift that balance of power if you give up work when you have children. If you're earning over £100k whilst you have babies at home then there i sno balance of power shift . In other words if women can keep up working full time as men do when they have babies (or if someone has to be home make it the man) then women are much better protected. Then they can afford not to have a problem if their man pays nothing and provides no childcare. In other words you can do most right by the child perhaps by not being at home and risking its being damaged and plunged into poverty by risking living on male earnings.

Xenia, ffs, most PEOPLE don't earn that much.

I know. You can apply the same principle though to a couple where both earn £20k or £30k.

No you can't apply that prnciple because once again it ignores the fact that for some women, going straight back to work when their babies are small, is simply not an option because as Mary would have it, they are so egotistical that they think they can be a better mother to their baby than anyone else...and they should not be punished with long term poverty for that basic need to care for their child.

Not to mention the ones who would like to go back to work but can't afford the childcare.

Each partner's income is directly relevant. Money gives you an awful lot more choices.

Or there is simply the ones who want to be SAHM as they do see it as valuable and once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

Why should they feel ashamed or the need to justify their choice?

Absolutely coco

I still feel there is something very wrong about society's values if we mock a mother for wanting to look after her own child.

This undermining of motherhood, is a direct response to feminism. Whenever women gain a bit of control over their own lives, the patriarchy hits back at them and it's hitting back hard atm because we've gained the greatest amount of rights and control over our lives in the shortest amount of time than prob any other time in recorded history. So they hit at one of the most germane and defining things about being a woman - motherhood. They pretend it's not important and they denigrate it and sneer at it and handmaidens like Mary will go along with that and do the patriarchy's work for it.

Not to undermine Motherhood, but I remain convinced that this staying home just to entertain /educate your tiny children is a NEW thing. I have done my family tree back 20 plus generations. Women ALWAYS worked, even if they had 10 plus children.

Yes they did, but not when the kid was 6 weeks old generally, unless they could take the kid with them.

And when they were older, the children weren't left generally with people outside the family - they were left with people who were a permanent part of their lives. None of them had certificates though or were inspected.

SAF. I think this is why I love the Maternelle system so much in Belgium. There is no shock between the nursery level and school, They work up to it.

I'm not trying to belittle anyone. Just pointing out that this focus on being "supermum" to toddlers never existed before. You would have been very busy keeping the household going...

In the days before dishwashers, hoovers, washing machines etc it really WAS a full time job to be a "housewife"