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Original poster

Should unmarried couples have more rights?

285 replies

Niceguy2 · 03/02/2011 16:55

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-12354670

What do MN'ers think? Should unmarried couples get more rights to claim from each other like married couples?

Or if they wanted that then they should get married?

OP posts:
NormalityBites · 04/02/2011 22:17

But what happens when 'marriage' and 'weddings' mean a huge amount to one partner but less than nothing to the other?

How can this be resolved? By a contract inferring rights of marriage without the name. The name does mean something because it comes with many things attached which are not acceptable to many including myself.

Portofino · 04/02/2011 22:17

Like this?

Cohabiting Couples
Unmarried couples who nevertheless wish to have their partnership recognised can do so via a Cohabitation Contract. A notary will draw up such a contract and it can then be entered into the population register in the place of residence. The couple share responsibility for joint expenses incurred in the course of their daily lives and benefit jointly from any assets acquired during their partnership. However, they remain separate individuals for tax and social security purposes.

The Cohabitation Contract can be terminated at any time by agreement between the partners or by one partner alone. Legal involvement is usually only necessary if there is a dispute over property.

The contract is also terminated if either party marries or dies.

bb99 · 04/02/2011 22:17

Want married / civil partnership couples' right - GET married / civil partnershipped FGS.

If you don't want to get married, don't expect the same rights and stop bloody moaning about it!

NormalityBites · 04/02/2011 22:18

What else can I do usualsuspect? I don't want to be married or have a wedding or take on the trappings of marriage - quite the opposite.

What is a good reason to get married? I've yet to find one.

EldonAve · 04/02/2011 22:18

Not read the whole thread no but if you want the legal benefits then get married

NormalityBites · 04/02/2011 22:19

Would that contract allow for rights as next of kin, pensions and taxes Portofino?

ICantFindAFreeNickName · 04/02/2011 22:20

Baublelicious - I knew this was for keeps, I wanted children, The children can say "Mummy & Daddy" forever (although they prefer Mum & Dad these days!),I never doubted him, I trust and love him. I just don't see the need to get married. I just want a simple legal transaction.

usualsuspect · 04/02/2011 22:22

I hear you NormalityBites I don't want to be married I hate the thought of being married

NormalityBites · 04/02/2011 22:26

I am basically being forced into marriage because I can't afford the legal protection otherwise due to our situation.

Which is shit. And where I accept I can do it all my way and not have all the trappings, it's not just about me is it.

People in this thread seem to think that women who object to the trappings of marriage can just opt out, don't bother with all the stuff, just sign the paper. What happens when the other party in said legal transaction wants more than that, then? There are men out there who want the outfits, the vows, rings, the bollocks. And I've got one.

bb99 · 04/02/2011 22:26

Just curious - why would someone want the same RIGHTS as a married person if they didn't want to get married? - what's the difference between a marriage contract and any other kind of 'simple legal transaction'.

Weddings don't have to be white dresses and cghurches, friends of mine did a registry office during their lunch hour with 2 witnesses as they wanted to have the rights of a marriage but weren't interested in the trappings.

MoldyWarp · 04/02/2011 22:27

well said the usual suspect. My relationship is for life

Portofino · 04/02/2011 22:30

No - you are taxed as an individual, and I guess you would not get pension rights either.

JobCarHouseNoBaby · 04/02/2011 22:32

I have just bought a house to live in with my partner of 7 years. Not married, house in my name (he's got poor credit score) so legally speaking everything is in my name, when in reality we pay everything 50-50.

Not getting married any time soon, so we had a Declaration of Trust (DoT) drawn up to recognise that whilst the Legal Interest in the property is mine, the Equitable Interest is split between us. (Basically if we split we split 50-50 but I'm always legally responsible for the payments on the mortgage).

I think that there are lots of options these days to protect all parties. Marriage is just one of these options.

I really eventually want to get married, but I knew it wasn't going to happen in the short term so to protect DP I got the DoT drawn up. Otherwise I could have kicked him out and played dumb to the contribution he's made. Also becasue we're not married we've had wills drawn up so our wishes are carried out - without them everything would have gone to our current Next of Kins - parents.

Having just written all that out it has become obvious to me that we have done pretty much everything except saying I do.....

NormalityBites · 04/02/2011 22:44

bb99 - because I can't get inheritance tax rights, pension rights and some benefit rights without being married.

I also cannot get the rest of the rights without paying through the nose.

Also due to our situation with families etc I can't go into, I cannot get our legal position sorted without assuring our rights as partners.

JobCarHouseNoBaby -

What if you died and your estate was over the inheritance tax bracket?

My father died unmarried. We could not claim his pension as it was only payable to surviving spouse.

Do you have Powers of Attorney - health and financial affairs - in place to invoke should one of you become suddenly very ill or injured? So you can make decisions about medical care on each others' behalf or access monies and assets in each others names?

Portofino · 04/02/2011 22:48

Jobcart - what happens if you REALLY fall out though? You are legally obliged to pay 100% of the mortgage, but HE is still entitled to 5-% of the house?

gaelicsheep · 04/02/2011 22:48

FGS, marriage IS a simple legal contract. Go to a register office, go through the motions, sign the contract. End of. All the trappings are optional extras.

NormalityBites · 04/02/2011 22:49

gaelicsheep

But what happens if one of you wants all the optional extras but the other does not?

This is the problem!

gaelicsheep · 04/02/2011 22:53

Why don't you want to get married NormalityBites? You don't have to change your name or even call yourself Mrs. What would change except you having better rights?

There will obviously be exceptions where couples can't agree on the importance of marriage, or where one party will not commit and the other suffers when the relationship ends. But the general principle should hold true. Hard cases make bad law.

bb99 · 04/02/2011 22:53

Normality - so, DP wants a BIG wedding, you don't? Am I right?

You are happy with just the legal stuff but your DP wants all the fuss?

usualsuspect · 04/02/2011 22:55

Getting married just for the rights is just wrong ..makes a mockery of marriage imo

Portofino · 04/02/2011 22:57

Marriage has ALWAYS been about the rights, or more importantly about hard cash and assets. The romance/love part is the new thing.

usualsuspect · 04/02/2011 23:00

Then maybe thats what I object too ..the true meaning of marriage

Portofino · 04/02/2011 23:02

Maybe that is too simple a way to describe it, but marriage has certainly never been solely about love and romance.

gaelicsheep · 04/02/2011 23:02

But by definition these couples must already be very committed, as they are arguing that they don't need a piece of paper to prove their commitment. If they don't need that piece of paper that's fine by me - marriage is about commitment and they have it, they just choose to display it differently. But I do not agree that a new type of contract needs inventing just for them because they choose not to use the one already in existence.

I don't much like many of the things I have to do by law, but I'm a citizen of this country and I follow the rules. Wouldn't it be great if we could all pick and choose which ones we follow or get new ones invented just for us?

usualsuspect · 04/02/2011 23:06

gaelicsheep maybe I'm just an old hippy at heart ,but I don't want to conform Grin and blindly follow the rules..times change

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