Lone parents expected to seek work when kids are 5?

[champagnesupernova]

Just catching up on yesterday's news and saw this and was surprised there wasn't anything about this on here already

What do you think?

can i ask a very niave question mamot - why is your ex not helping out financially so you can pay your rent etc? please bear with me, i know i've led a somewhat sheltered life

not all ex's will pay ....mine pays £5 a week for 4 dc.....says he wont ever work again,pretends he's sick so claims benefits

otherwise it would be 20% of his wage

Same here, I get £5 a week between 3 dc and that's it.

sprinkle/original - they are scum.

Agreed

he's only just gone back to work after being on ESA - so I should have been getting £5 a week for 3 children - tbh - I didn't bother chasing him for that £5 a week - god I save more than that every week by emptying my wallet of coins under 20p every day!

Now - well we're still in the process of re-negotiating - but I know that even if he paid me 25% of his salary it still wouldn't be enough to make me self reliant.

MaMoTTaT most people rely on TC,CB or HB to get by so I wouldn't worry too much about being self-reliant.

byrel - that's what I rely on now

IS of £53 a week (it's reduced because I'm paying back a social fund loan) doesn't really go too far to feeding my brood

It's a big ploy. Move as many as you can onto JSA. Why? Because then, after they've been on it for 12 months, you cut their housing benefit by 10% (in addition to the caps, which largely affect the working poor).

No mention of actually investing in a system that really goes after non-resident parents who do all they can not to pay for their children.

When is that coming in expat ? The cutting of HB after being on JSA for 12mths ?

I think they said 2012?

It seems to me that men who do not pay child support should be forced back to work and then pay suitable child support. This would reduce the welfare bill.

Anyone with teenage children only does not really have much of an argument because most of the teenagers round our way go home alone anyway as both their parents are at work full-time and it was the same when I was a kid. I must admit to leaving a full-time job when my kids were in full-time wrap around as I struggled with all the homework and quality time and my reduction in salary was compensated by the lower childcare costs and travelling expenses so I can understand those with kids under 7. The first years at school are quite hard and tiring and not like nursery. Many double income parents have to do it though so it is not impossible although quite often there is an extra pair of hands for bedtime and homework.

Of course the Government should pursue jobless fathers who don't pay anything but I think that single parents should still have to look for work once their children reach school age

Not all single mums want the father to be pursued though. My best mate managed to escape from her violent partner and didn't want the CSA to get involved, but they forced her by threatening to cut her benefits. He got angry at having to pay and ended up kicking her door down the next day .

That doesn't mean he shouldn't be forced to pay, smokey. His obligation to pay is a separate issue to his response to it. He should always be obligated to pay.

Nutty (good to 'see' you again :)) it was announced in the June emergency budget (the 12 months on JSA lose 10% of HB) but it's not coming in till next year or 2012.

It's all a clever tactic to cut the HB bill.

But it's okay to increase pensions and they get to keep all their universal benefits from age 60, even though pensions are the biggest wedge of the 'welfare' pie.

"He got angry at having to pay and ended up kicking her door down the next day."

His behavior and actions are his responsibility alone, it wasn't wrong to get him to pay what he owes.

I do sometimes think that non-teaching jobs in schools (Dinner Ladies, Teaching Assistants, School Secretary etc) should only be offered on a fixed term contract, till the incumbent's youngest child has left school.

There are so many women desperate to work but who can't afford childcare and so many women in non-teaching roles whose children flew the nest years ago.

Yes I KNOW it couldn't be done, but when I worked in a school everyone I knew was so jealous, and there were so many women working where I did who just didn't NEED those very specific hours any more.

And yes I know I keep saying women, there were a few men but by and large the staff I am talking about were women.

Disclaimer - This is a tongue in cheek post

one of mine pays a tenner a week AFAIK

Expat, when people are abusive it is sometimes better to keep them at arms length in whatever way you can.

They can use the fact they are being asked for money and turn it against you in a massive way. It isn't worth it - if you want safe and happy kids, anyway.

I don't think its unreasonable to go back to work.
But to do it and be worse off can't be right.
E.g. I had an interview this week 20hrs per week job, by time I had had paid childcare /petrol /parking , I would at the most earned £150 per month. In school holidays I would have been -£ per month.
Hardly encouraging for anyone never mind a single parent.
I don't know the answer to this problem ,but I can see how people get caught in a benefit trap.

That is a bad case with regard to the violent father but not all are like this. I know of one couple who chose not to live together so that she could claim more benefits to look after his three kids. They are still happily together and that is playing the system! I have no sympathy for families like that. Again not all will be in that category. I have also known one man who made himself unemployed so that he did not have to pay his ex-wife because she would not let him see his kid but wanted him to buy her a car. There will be incidental cases like this all over the place.

'Expat, when people are abusive it is sometimes better to keep them at arms length in whatever way you can.'

that is why any government with balls would invest in and set up a better system to force non-residents to pay as well as punishing crime more severely.

but the days of 'he's abusive, so i don't want anything to do with him. i'll just stay on benefits,' are ending, as this government is making it abundantly clear.

it may not be worth it to the person who's fled, but with the government being all about cutting things, the benefits option is going to be worn away, little by little.

so lobbying for a better system to compel non-resident partners to pay up seems to be something worth pursuing.

good grief, have children, surely expect to support them?
I'm fully anticipating working full time after dc born, thats having to, not choosing to, but why on earth would / should someone else be expected to look after them on the gov budget etc
if i can't get suitable childcare then i'll have to look to move etc, it sounds drastic but thats whet becoming a parent is about, longer term planning than just baby / toddler etc
I really dont undertstand why some people are so up in arms, i'm not being sarcy I honestly dont understand?

yes,and we need a better CSA system....they are too slow,too many loopholes

I am a teacher which is why I have never attended any school events, it is very sad as I attend every single show at the school I teach in and even shows they do out of school. I even missed my dd's show from her dance school as I had to step in last minute to cover a school trip. But as you say I have holidays and my husband goes to everything at dd's school, so she is luckier than some. DD will soon be at the school I teach in, we will soon be sick of one another.

I could very easily fill my time as a SAHP, I do during the summer holidays. I do try and attend the PTA events .

bigchris I am not sneery about mothers who help in schools, I teach secondary so it is not something I directly benefit from in my work. However asI said above my husband is in school at least once a week.

Add message | Report | Message poster oggybags Tue 26-Oct-10 17:15:06
good grief, have children, surely expect to support them?

Naturally...but often people are actually WITH the father when they become pregnant! And often the father buggers off a bit after that, leaving the mother to fend for all of them with no help whatsoever - no financial, emotional or practical support at all. And all the father has to do is send them a tenner a week.

That's not going to cover much.

Of course some two parent families have two working parents but trying to do absolutely everything yourself with no one even to discuss it with can be extremely hard. Especially with the added stigma - and don't tell me there isn't a stigma these days. The tories are making damn sure it's emphasised at every opportunity as well.