Lone parents expected to seek work when kids are 5?

[champagnesupernova]

Just catching up on yesterday's news and saw this and was surprised there wasn't anything about this on here already

What do you think?

Well if I was still with their dad the issues I can imagine DS3 having with wrap-around care on top of school/nursery wouldn't be there

And actually - I had to go out to work for us to be able to pay the mortgage. exH didn't get any subsidised childcare, we simply couldn't afford it - he worked during the day 10am(ish) until 9.30pm, I worked nights.

Despite the issues it gave me I would do it again if in the same position, just so that DS1 wouldn't have to be at home on his own for long periods.

what about Carers? Up all night, child goes off to school and Carer needs to sleep.

MaMoTTaT I don't understand why your ds having wrap-around care or your ds being home alone is an issue. Many children are in this position due to their parents work patterns.

Deadly - I think that carers are excluded from it?

Those in receipt of CA are exempted from this.

Hard to tell with this Govt. I havent seen anything suggesting Carers will be exempt. And there will be those whose kids dont have a definate diagnosis, up most of the night and needing to sleep.
Those poeple with children with unspecified Sn are more likely to end up as single parents on benefits because of the strainon the marriage.

You only get CA if your child recieves high or midrate care. Many on low rate are just as exhausting. but no CA. Therefore no exemption.
Once again a giant brush to tar all.

People on Carers Allowance are being excluded from this Deadly

I'd rather not go into why I think that DS3 and extended wrap-around care would be an issue for him on this thread

But with regards to DS1 - I don't like the idea of an only just turned 11yr old at home every day during the school holidays on his own.

I'm all for giving my children independence, but 11 is still young IMO for so much time at home alone.

I've just about go my head around him spending a couple of hours a week during term time as a latch key kid at that age, but am still struggling with the idea of school holidays. Hopefully by this time next year when it becomes an actual issue I'll be feeling more comfortable with it

DS2 would love it though - so not worried about him when he has to go to a childminder/after schol/holiday club. He'll take it in his stride and probably adore it.

MaMoTTaTSorry if you thought I was intruding on your privacy regard ds3.
I don't think that the reasons stated about your ds1 is a reason for the Government to not make single parents go out and work.

So you think it's perfectly acceptable to leave an 11yr old child (YR6 - still in primary/junior school) at home alone for long hours every day of the week??

I dare you to start a thread asking if people would do it/think it's ok

Yeah I don't see the problem if I'm honest and I think the benefits of children growing up in a household where someone works is extremely beneficial to their development.

Thread created on AIBU

MaMoTT, there are usually still holiday clubs for 11-13 year olds. And hopefully you and your dh can take some time off, so he won't literally be by himself for six weeks.

I always used to do a kidswap with other mums, so I'd have one or two extras on my days off, and they'd repay the favour on my work days. There are always solutions to these problems.

not in every town. dd is 6 and this year there were 5 days available at holiday club for the whole 6 weeks due to excessive demand and not enoug holiday clubs.

mumble - exH won't take time off to look after DS1. And right now I wouldn't trust him too anyhow, just had to stop the overnight stays almost as soon as they started

Only one club in our town that goes up to 12yrs old. And with having to top up 30% of DS2 and 3's childcare there's no way I'm going to be able to afford the 30% of childcare for 3 of them (if I can even get DS1 in - the waiting list is horrendous)

I agree with Popelle there is no reason no reason for children to not either be in wrap-around care or being first home. The number of children growing up in workless households is very high in this country and needs to be reduced as it tends to lead to a lot of intergenerational worklessness.

why dont all schools offer wrap around care then? Ours doesn't (primary school)

Mamo, how do you feel about trying to find a job that you could do during school hours?

In a pre school, or as a TA, or supermarkets and fast food restaurants often offer term time contracts?

Would it really hurt to just look?

deadly - sometimes I think there just isn't the demand, I know at the DS's small (180) infant and junior (240 pupils) there's no demand for their own wrap around care.

Most of DS1 and 2's friends mothers (and the odd father) either can't afford to work because of the childcare costs (they have working partners already) or have the luxury of being able to choose to be SAHP's

ermm - where did I say I wasn't looking?

I'm looking on a weekly basis right now "just incase" anything comes up.

DS3 is still at nursery so won't be looking properly until next year.

I won't get a part time job in school hours round here - I know that already, it's always been dire for those working hours, hasn't changed a jot (well it has it's got worse ) since I first looked for work (when I ended up working nights) nearly 6yrs ago - and I've kept my eye on the job sections in the local paper, the job centre and the LA website reguarly since then, even when I didn't have any pressure to find work.

Mind the local paper has recently crept up to 3 pages of jobs recently

The best I can hope for is to find a part time job that's somewhere between the hours of 7.30am and 6.30pn (finish)

Well Curly as I said there have been times when I have had to use childcare but it's not something I would do to say earn money for a holiday or an extension. I've learnt my lesson that childcare upsets my children.
And no if the children didn't like school I wouldn't send them, to that school I would and have found one they do like, is that so surprising ?
Where I guess I have the luxury of choice somebody who is a single parent for whatever reason forfeits that choice and it's shit but it has be a consideration before you walk out the door I guess.

If you don't mind me asking where are you based?

Parents in a two parent household have generally got more of a choice as to whether they both go out to work or live on a bit less and one stays at home with the kids/once the kids are at school.

A single parent doesn't have any choice whatsoever. There is no room for balancing the income between two parents, taking different hours to one another - at the end of the day there are two people running the same household and caring for the same children, instead of one, and the difference that makes in terms of almost every aspect of life cannot and should never be underestimated.