I'm scared by teh not knowing, if that makes sense?
I'd at least like to know the timescales.
We have got plans to get us both in work anyway that will take a few years (most know our circs but basically, 4 chidlren of which 2 have autism; DH was made redudnant and is retraining whilst making a small amount self employed. Desperately trying to avoid LA housing as social services adament we need a 4 bed whcih emans we would need many eyars wait and that in a homeless accomodation whcih the boys could simply not handle- ds1 for example already has eating disorders for which he receives treatment and would not eat food from a shared kitchen).
We've tried to work out if I could start the social worker training I am due to do a eyar early but we can't, as college funding won;t cover nanny costs (will covere nursery or CM) and no other chidlcare would allow DH and I to both study as we would both be on courses that go to 8pm and even beyond- just how theya re scheduled. When dh qualifies he will work from home to allow me to train if that amkes sense? juggled but productive.
So with no chidlcare that stillr emains undoable: ds1 attacks people so can;t go to sahred chidlcare.
The options we are left with are hope it takes longer to be implemented than we need to finish (I mean, it's not as if we chose any of this- a bit of luck would not go amiss!); put DS1 in a foster placement so I can do it ( would hurt as much as anyone else giving their child up, and aggression doesn;t eman he doesn;t ahve an understanding- average IQ etc, it would hurt him).
The other is for DH to get teh business big enough to emply me. it's not a field I have any interest in whasoever but if ti kept us going.... the main issue atm is that our shop launch which was due to be in July ahs been held up as our main supplier has taken our money and refused to supply any stock ('my child is ill') in months so we are taking court action and have a hold up.
So we are trying to find ways to manage this but really need the facts about it to be able to do so. If there's one thing I hate it's uncertainty.
I did of course ask the boys to stop being autistic but that's seeming to be a no go. Bit of a worry really; apart from the effect on us as a wider family any cuts to long term dependency are going to make ds3's life worse, that really is simple, it's not as if he has a choice!
But, we shall see. We have to sign or not the house l;ease this week for the next 18 months and we will do it and pray. I just remember the days when losing ajob emant you could run out and sort anohter and we didn;t have so many unasked for barreirs to overcome becuase that takes time. And it 's not as if I am happy being a SAHM either- not so bad atm with ds4 but he starts school nursery next year and I will be so bored!
Also have a week to decide whether I shoudl pull out from my uni course and save the costs; it's supposed to be to get me onto the social work course but it''s a legal commitment once I start paying and if this will come in before I findsih in June we'd be lumbered IYSWIM.