Flylady - love it, hate it , changed your life?

[bobdog]

The Flylady system do you love it/hate it, tried it , failed it, got addicted and seen it overtake your life?

I'm trying to figure out whether to embrace it for the good of my sanity and my family or just muddle on in the same old way.

Well, TBH I'm ever so embarrassed to admit it, but I do do FLY and I like it

I first found the site about 4 years ago and it immediately appealed to me. It seemed like an excellent system BUT I was totally put off by all the cutsey bollocks and the assumption that my house was a totally and utterly cluttered and as filthy as a pigsty (which it wasn't and has never become).

I looked at it again and ran away in horror few times over the years. It attracted me but I simply couldn't get past the cutsey crap and was somehow very offended about the assumed state of my house .

Since I had the DC (now 2.2 and almost 8 months old) I've desperately needed some sort of a system so that I felt in control of the never ending housework. But, until recently I had a cleaner once a week so that took the pressure off and helped to spread the blame for the jobs that we never got done.

Once we had to let her go I was able to muddle through and keep things up to a reasonable standard (with a lot of stressing). The house generally looked OK but I felt like I was drowning and found it really depressing (which isn't so handy when you have PND .

I tried the MN Slatterns thread but that wasn't for me, it's more about keeping up with the basics any-old-how than learning new habits IYSWIM. Also, if I can manage to 5 minutes to MN, the last thing I want to be doing is wasting time making and updating lists and talking about housework.

Anyway, a couple of weeks ago I decided to bite the bullet and actually try FLY for the first time. I'm managing to ignore the stuff that irritates me and have adapted / sped up the 'BabySteps' () to suit my own situation. I don't participate in any of the FLY threads / forums, I just get the Daily Digest email and do my own thing.

I'm finding it a massive motivation and force for good, it's made me feel in control of a lot of stuff (not just housework). I'm hoping that by slowly building up new ways of doing things it'll just melt into my life.

I'm a dabbler! And have found lots of inspiration/support from the January fly thread - February's fabulous fledgling flyers about to start.

I think as driventodistraction says, you need to adapt it to you and use what works for you. But I am gradually getting my house under control - I work full time, have two teenage DDs and a husband who does not work but has some health issues. Just creating some simple routines to do daily means I stay on top of the basics and I'm also beginning to do some decluttering, albeit slowly.

I like the idea of splitting the house into zones and concentrating on 1 per week - means one bit gets done properly each month and kept straight the rest of the time - and
I'm less stressed about say the pile of stuff on the landing because I know its time will come. It really is a bit at a time!

Good luck, bobdog and why not come and join us on the thread? Sorry, afraid can't do links!

I follow the basic system, but my own way, I do the morning and bedtime routines (with a few amendments) and I focus on one room per week, the rest gets the home blessing and hot spots done.

You do have to get past the lace up shoes and as DriventoDistraction says the assumption that your starting from rock bottom and the rest is great.

I work 30 hours/week and have a 6yr old DD and a DH who works shifts, so I need some kind of routine to keep on top of things.

Some of the tools and lists are quite helpful.

I found it annoying. I couldnt follow the first tips because for the first fortnight my house would fall apart around my ears (when it was messy) now its really good here I cant follow it as I dont want to start with just tying my laces as again it would fall apart around me. I need to come in with a list somewhere in the middle.

bronze - that is ^exactly what I did!

First of all I gave the place a damn good 'weekly clean' for about 4 hours spread over the house. Then I followed the 'Baby Steps' two or three at a time (depending how inane they were) whilst building up some of the other stuff as well.

So, instead of just doing one 'Baby Step' per day I started straight away with a basic morning and evening routine and did the missions as well. Each day I added a wee bit more, depending on which element seemed most suited to my situation.

By the end of the first week I was doing the zone cleaning, missions, 15 minutes de-cluttering (in my case sorting out cupboards in the zone rather than removing stacks of shit from all over the house). I was also doing full morning and evening routines and started working out a before / after dinner routine too. I started working on the 'Control Journal' pretty much straight away as well.

I did have to be careful not to do too much of it too soon and get FLY fatigued, but I'm a perfectionist and can be obsessive to boot so that is a problem I have in general anyway!

The terminology is still gut-wrenchingly awful though, which ever way you look at it, it makes me wince to even type half of this stuff . But, it is a good system and it works well for me, so far.

I need you list from when you started I start looking and get so bogged down with shine your sink and tie your laces I give up before I get to where I need to be

I have been doing similar in that each day I try to do a project be it clean out a cupboard or thin out outgrown clothes. The house is really good at the moment mainly down to the cleaner I have for a couple of hours a week and the motivation caused by the fear of the estate agent calling for a last minute viewing.

Could you suggest which step is bes t to start at for an already pretty sorted house?

What IS the Fly lady please for the uninitiated???

Bronze - I need to crack on with dinner and the DC are being crazy, but I'll pop back again later! I can't remember precisely what I did but I think I've got a pretty good idea.

Nikita09 - here. You'll need sunglasses and a massive pinch of salt

thanks dtd

Nikita put your schmaltz filters on

bobdog - sorry for the hijack! I'm hoping you'll be back at some point soon

OK bronze, I think it went a little something this...

First of all I joined up, if you join make damn sure you choose the 'Daily Digest' when you select your email settings for 'BigTent' or you'll end up with a full time job de-cluttering your inbox.

Next I struggled around the site a bit and bookmarked some stuff, it's a total nightmare to navigate and I couldn't find half the things I knew were there. I think it was Baby Steps, Flying Lessons, Control Journal, FAQ's, not quite sure TBH.

I got (get) an email each morning, it's mostly either preachy 'testimonials' or blatant marketing / self promotion, all of which I ignored. THe 'flight plan' is the relevant bit. It contains standard morning and evening routines, the mission for the day, standard job(s) for the day, that sort of thing.

For the first few days I just did a few 'Baby Steps', the standard routines and the missions. I picked and choose from the daily jobs, just doing what took my fancy. In between I read a load of stuff on the site, this takes ages because first you actually have to find what you want and then filter out the crap . I also attacked my 'Hot Spots' with a vengeance.

I suppose, really, the most significant change I made was just doing jobs that needed doing as soon as I noticed them and trying really hard not to give myself a hard time / panic about stuff.

On about day 4 or 5 I started working on the 'Control Journal' , just a few steps at a time. Stopping when I got sick of it. 'tis actually a good concept and really handy. That said mine isn't much like she says it should be, it's how I say it should be. I am very embarrassed about it's existence so I keep it hidden , which is a bit of a PITA because I reach for it about 10 times a day.

Anyway, by the time I'd done all that I'd picked up enough of the theory to be able to add a wee bit extra 'FLY' action each day. Easy.

I hope this makes at least a bit of sense!

I don't follow it, but I lurk on threads from time to time and occasionally follow links to the website.

I credit it with a revolution my housekeeping though. It finally made me realise that to have a tidy house I need to do more tidying and that 15 minutes on a regular basis putting things away and making sure clutter doesn't build up is worth a whole day of frantic activity before my mum comes round.

Sad that it took 37 years for me to realise this .

Thanks everyone, looks like most of you have dug thru the slightly confusing flylady website, taken the useful stuff out and tried really, really hard to ignore the grim testimonals, etc. Glad that a few of you have skipped bits I think I'd be in trouble if I just admired my tightly laced shoes all day.

My house is certainly not bad enough for the C4 'how clean is your house' people but with a 4 and 2 year old it's not a showhome. I'm looking for a balance really, so that I can stop feeling guilty about playing with my kids rather then washing the kitchen floor again. Perhaps if I've got a plan I'll be able to ignore the cobwebs for another week and then give em a real good go.

Thanks for your lovely posts DrivenToDistraction, I'm slightly embarrassed by the idea of the control journal but have printed out some her examples and keep looking at them when no one's around. Do you and other folk think that it's worth developing?
Did anyone initially reject bits like the timer and hotspot idea but eventually come round to it and find it useful?

I used it a few years ago to declutter and get organised.

However, although I am a SAHM my week to week is never the same so I can't say Monday I'll do X etc, but I have put stuff in place so that I can keep on top of it all.

I don't go on the website, I was actually bought the book by my lovely DH after someone else mentioned it (and no my DH is amazing and kind and lovely so there was no dig)

I did use the timer but only to motivate me to declutter hotspots, but it just showed me how much I could get done in a small amount of time.

The thing I got the most from it was assessing what kept messing my house up, I got some serious Trofast storage from Ikea for the boys toys, I labelled the boxes so all their toys could be cleared away.

I did buy 2 ostrich feather dusters, one short handled and one long handled. The long handled one I use for dusting the skirting boards so I never have to bend down The dusters are fab and I use them all the time.

Re the control journal, I just made a few notes on what I needed to get done daily and weekly. I do clean down the kitchen cupboard doors weekly and try to clean the fridge once a month but apart from that I didn't get that anal about it all.

It works for me, but I have adapted it for my life. I'm not ruled by it

that DTD I'll have a proper look later and see if I can start implementing it

One thing I found helpful from the site was where she says about tidying a room and not moving from a corner until it has everything sorted in it. I am awful for 'doing as much as I can be arsed' in one section and then wandering off and getting distracted somewhere else!

I don't really understand it tbh. If all I did each day was what Flylady says, my house would be in uproar. But then I have two very destructive and demanding children.

Yesterday I spent the vast majority of the day, putting away the same clean washing, after thay kept pulling it out of drawers/wardrobes and throwing it down the stairs.

They both blamed each other and both claimed to have no knowledge of how the clothes got onto the stairs. They are both being punished today.

shiny I felt like that

I think I need to do my own flylady
a list for each day for jobs I need to do.
Some jobs will be everyday some just on particular days.
I've gone back and looked at the site and its still eyewatering, the emailed flightplan is much more sensible

I did it for a while and am just getting back into it. What helped me was the idea of DH and I both having morning and evening routines - just adding a couple of things have really helped me. My house is still a mess but we don't get mountains of washing any more, and it is generally clean (I haven't really got round to the decluttering bit yet)

I really need to start some decluttering as we'll have DC2 come june and I know streamlining the place will help DH me keep on top of things

bobdag - Sorry it's taken a while to get back, wasn't ignoring you, just forgot all about the thread.

The 'control Journal' is essential TBH, otherwise there's no system to work from. It's probably best described as a sort of planning and time management tool. It covers all the jobs that could possibly ever need to be done in a house and quite a bit of other stuff too. Mind you, mine doesn't go as far as having evacuation plans and that sort of thing as she says it should .

Anyway, it works like this: You have morning, afternoon and evening routines ('y know, all that stuff you do everyday: washing, maintenance cleaning, cooking, the normal endless round). A basic week plan (day for basic whole house clean, day for food shopping, day for errands etc.). For the detailed cleaning the house is divided into 5 zones which are cleaned alternately so that every part of the house gets a deep clean once a month. Less frequent jobs and random jobs are covered too.

You slot it all together on a daily basis so there's plenty of room for flexibility, thank goodness! If you think something needs doing more (or less) frequently than suggested you just add it into the system and somewhere that suits you.

It is necessary to trawl through the site and do very sped up 'Baby Steps' and 'flying lessons' in the first instance. You need a grip on the basic rules / principals / strategies of the system, but once you've got that and the Plan you never need to go there again. Just get the digest email and ignore 9/10 of it

If you do end up making one you'd need to adapt the standard stuff on the site to suit your situation though. 'tis essential, if you don't it'll never work. But, that's good, working through it all to create your own 'Control Journal' 'Master Plan' is probably the best way to get started. do make it by hand on paper (rather than on the computer) in the first instance, it's much easier.

Obviously, I'm talking about the bit after all the de-cluttering and re-organising has been done.

I found it good for habit formation - hate the sugary spiritual stuff and the e-mails, also think it gets bogged down in some details, but adapted to your own priorities it gets you into great habits - for me i mean clearing hot spots, doing a little bit all the time, preparing for the next day before bed, and fitting in little bits of exercise at random regular times. Also realising some places need regular attention but not a big clean that often - so you don't have to 'clean through' each week, just concentrate on different zones at different points and give each area its own thorough go over once in a while. Also good for de-cluttering.

I'm doing well on decluttering and now we can see what the crap was hiding have inspired husband to finish off some odd jobs that have been hanging around for several years

so far so good, but the place has quickly become a tip today because thinking about it I started several things and never finished them, I think you all now how it is, got distracted by the dc, changed location and started something new.

Thanks for explaining the "master plan for domestic domination" I will definately make an effort with it, I was worried it would be a sort of sudoku distraction from actually doing stuff so cheers for encouragement.

I find somedays the little ones will play beautifully together and I get loads done and other days it's best just to go to the park. I'll probably try and work my am & pm routines and then leave the rest of the stuff for 'during the week' since it's easy to feel fustrated if you plan a big clean day whikst they have other ideas.

Cheers, looks like I'll give it a go since most of you fiond it a positive thing overall.

Sorry should have previewed before broadcasting my terrible typing skills

Glad to hear your feeling motivated . That's the main thing, however you do it.

I know what you mean about the DC, mine are 2.2 and 8 months, they often have plans that are very different from mine...

the whole point with this system is that you shouldn't be doing ANY big cleaning days ever again! Mind you, I think there is still an offcial crisis cleaning method.

I'd say, just work on the morning and evening stuff and do 15 minutes of decluttering when you feel like it rather than going at it hell for leather. See the decluttering as something ongoing. It might be worth having a look at the mission for the day (in the email). See if you fancy it, they really are 15 minutes and I found them oddly motivating.

Oh, and the timer stuff. It seems daft but it really helps break things down into manageable chunks. 15 mis declutting = about half an hour IRL. 15 minutes actually decluttering and another five 'finishing that bit' then 10 minutes putting away, bagging up stuff for different people and throwing stuff away. It's sooo easy to get sidetracked ino doing too much.

They rattle on about quieting the negative thought patterns and they have a point.

The steps for building the manual are here and here, bookmark 'em

(I bloody hate that site)

I didn't hate it - but it never worked for me, tried it several times over a space of a couple of years.

I'm a born procrastinator, and like to do things in my own space and time and use daily lists, depending on what actually needs doing..........hence I started the "slatterns" thread (which is now list makers, slatterns and procrastinators............basically anyone that doens't get on with FLYing but wants some sort of motivation )