I have lost my housekeeper/nanny and aupair and I am a mess. How do you do things?

[JennyLovesRosie]

I will keep this brief.

My dh and I both were made redundant, we've had to downscale everything and lost all of our brilliant help. I thought it might take a week or two to get on top of things but I am drowning under the washing/clutter/filth.The bathrooms are shocking not to mention empty fridge/creased uniforms and a baby permanantly in pyjamas after only 5 weeks!

I am ashamed to say I've never had to do any of it as I have always worked and payed other people to do it all I don't know where to start.

Could anyone spend a moment or two giving me an idea of hints/routines for keeping three children and a house in reasonable nick?

My husband is rather bemused that I am in such a muddle but I'm sure when he starts getting fishfinger suppers five nights in a row he may pitch in.

I feel like such a failure. How can I not manage?

You could try the slatterns thread . I have 5 dc and one on the way and since using that thread I keep on top of everything .

If you want to look it is in the Good housekeeping topic.

er,why is dh not helping "pitch in" now? get him upstairs doing those bathrooms for a start.

i find that before the school run i clear up breakfast things and put washing on. all get dressed BEFORE we come downnstairs....baby included.

prepare as much as possible night before,uniforms,school lunches,homework etc.

My dh leaves the house at 5am and is rarely home before 10pm.

I will look at the slatterns thread. I think that describes me perfectly right now.

lol,sorry,thought you said you'd both been made redundant. flylady threads are interesting too.

Yes you are quite right I did, what I forgot to mention was dh has managed to get work but three counties away which mean quite long hours.

But if your dh is at work can't you afford a cleaner at least to do the bathrooms?.

Are you still thinking about going back to work?

You may also have to let your standards drop a bit, if you've been at work this whole time you are probably used to doing a 'good job'. Housework is endless and repetitive and it rarely looks like a 'good job'.

Instead it looks like a clean bathroom but a dirty kitchen. Or a clean bathroom but a cluttered bedroom. Rarely does it look like a good job everywhere.

I see clients from home so my front room and bathroom need to be clean. The rest of the house looks like a family of dirty Borrowers live there.

Because it is endless you hav to become happy with what you do and give yourself credit for that

Thank you for those kind words. No really I am doing a terrible job. I knew that they did a fantastic job I just didn';t appreciate how brilliant they were.

Our outgoings are very hefty so for the time being until I can find anoter way of earning some cash then I will have to carry on. On the plus side the children love it and the longer I am out of work the more I think I will want to be with them. I just need a plan.

Hi, have just found this thread. I didn't realise you needed more help.
I struggle a bit, but i find that if i make sure my kitchen is tidy before i go to bed, the toys are put in the toybox before i sit down for the evening and i get one load of washing done and dried everyday, things don't get too out of hand.

Hello there, sorry about the job situation and hope that things do get better for you.

I think the key is to develop a routine, come over and join us on the fly threads.

Fly is a method of developing a routine, which suits you. I have two children 4 and under and it keeps me sane as do the ladies on the thread TBH.

Start with taking little steps.

Ensure you put the washer on everyday
Shine your sink

you can find us here

oh, and my house goes from ticking along ok, to complete disaster area in just 2 days

I have already found the advice on here inspiring. I think I agree with most of it.

My biggest problem is I am getting to the end of the night, tired, knackered and despondent so I leave all the stuff from the evening. It's horrible waking up to that but I still do it! :-] Madness.

Can your children help a bit? I know you have a baby, but someone around the age of 5 can make his own bed, help with the tidying up, etc.

This has been said a few times on here but I have found the tips I've found that help me are....

never leave a room empty handed
clean while the kettle boils
make sure you put clean washing away asap (don't bothering ironing first, it will just become a mountain that pulls at your guilt strings! Put it away and iron as needed or set aside one night a week when you will iron a few items each for the week)

When my kitchen is a disaster area I find it helps to
empty dishwasher/ draining board
fill it
clean sink
wipes sides/ tables/ cupboard doors
sweep any big debris
hoover
make a cuppa
mop
done
in 20 mins or less then you sit down with your cuppa as a reward

Treat it like a job, like something you are being paid to do. Presumably you are good at that sort of thing?

Draw uo a timetable, have a rota, have a routine, and do it all diligently like you;re being overlooked by a big mean boss.

Get your washing into 3 piles - coloureds and whites and towels.

Put a wash on every day to keep on top of it.

do the ironing in the evening in front of the TV and you wont even know you are doing it.

Meal plan so you dont think every day about what to eat

Supermarket shop via computer and get it delievered

Get the children to help set the table/clear the table/hoover

Tidy the kitchen so it looks nice the next day

When you nip to the loo, clean the sink and stick bleach down the loo.

Leave piles of things on stairs for each member to take up with them.

Clean as you go and tidy as you go. If you havent worn or used something for 12 months get rid of it.

HTH

15min bursts is a good idea too, it's amazing how much you can do in 15 mins.

(dare you to do it now, I'll do it too?)

I hadn't thought of that. They are very well trained (?) the eldest is brilliant and picks up after himself and puts away- I can only claim a small stake in his wonderful domestic behaviour, he is a gem! Perhaps I could give them more to do.

Like when you are busy at work

• prioritise. make a list. what's life threatning? what's life enhancing? what's the small stuff that doesn't matter? lower your standards. Fish fingers are very nutritious and tomato ketchup is full of tomatoes.
• plan. Have some sort of idea of what you want to achieve and when you want to achieve it. Be realistic. cut it in half. keep it short term. Include time with the dcs - you've got a baby fgs
• delegate and get help. What's dh up to all day if it's not paid employment? oh well at least he's not making too much of a mess.

Buy a copy of 'How to run your home without help' by Kay Smallshaw, published in 1949, and a nice bottle of wine and sit down and thank your lucky stars

Honestly jenny we are all the same, but if you have a tidy kitchen to come down to in the morning, and have your cup of coffee it makes things a lot easier. Just do it for a week initially and you will find it comes easier after that. It is the one thing that i can't cope with is not being able to find stuff first thing in the morning when we are all hungry and tired. It just makes the rest of the day go easier

Fave quotes from 'how to run your home without help'

• 'bedmaking can be quite a plesant interlude from the dusting and sweeping'
• 'mother was not so far wrong when she insisted all teh rooms had to be turned out every week'
• 'the kitchen can probably be left until Friday, after the baking is done'
• 'if there's a choice between making or buying clothes, and the same with cakes and jam, decide which you do best and most profitably'

I know I am lucky, luckier than most, that's why I really want to make this time with the children work.

I feel energised and happy after having read all of the suggestions (most of them completely practical and sensible!and I have managed to get alot done in between sitting at the PC.

missingtheaction that sounds like a great book

I agree. I must look her up she sounds very reassuring :-]

Yuck bad luck! Running a house is a real skill but is a skill which is monumentally dull

I'm not sure you can achieve both quality time with the children AND a clean house. That's quite hard. I tend to just tidy and ignore the children.

Do you have a garden? Make them live out there on sunny days - a bucket of water and they are happy (assuming they are reasonably young). This saves the house getting tidy.

You are going to need a depressingly tight schedule of cleaning and tidying to keep on top of things. It's BORING and TEDIOUS.

I never iron batches of clothes. I do as others have suggested, just put it away. I used to do loads of ironing but it always ends up crushed in the wardrobe and needed doing again. I iron things as and when they are needed. Often dh will iron the clothes we are wearing that day on the weekend whilst I am in the shower.