If you live in the type of house where everything's immaculate and cream, and you have to take your shoes off.........

[CuppaTeaJanice]

...please tell me honestly what you think when you go to a house that's a bit more, erm, 'lived in'.

I've recently arranged a regular meet up with a group of mothers and babies, going to a different house each week. Two of the houses are immaculate, spotlessly clean, nothing out of place, cream sofas...you know the type of house I mean!

Mine is nothing like that. It's not dirty, just a bit messy and bohemian - think piles of papers and a light spattering of dust rather than Kim and Aggie territory.

I'm now getting worried what the other mothers are going to think. Will they like looking at all the interesting stuff I have around, or will they be getting out the Milton wipes as soon as my back is turned?

Hoping for some reassurance from all the domestic goddesses out there.......!!!

I have a cream coloured take off your shoes house. It is sometimes a little messy, but rarely dirty. The mess is mostly toys, papers and books.

Please hoover your floors. Doing a bit of spot cleaning before people come around, such as cleaning your loo, wiping off your sink to make it shiny, gives an instant impression of a clean house, however messy and dusty.

Dont forget to wipe down your kitchen work tops.

Like betadad says, if the floor is dirty, I wouldnt not let my young child down on it, as at that age, they live on the floor, mouthe everything, and frankly, if you are not comfortable with rolling around your own dirty and eating crusts off the floor, you should not expect your guests to want this for their precious off spring.

Do you have matching smalls abetadad? No holes in your undies I'll bet. (You'll not live that one down you know!)

I love a messy lived in house as mine is always a bit too tidy after years of keeping places pristine for estate agents!They are coming to see you and prob won't even notice

you brought a small paper table cloth.

Are you Niels Crane?

You have a bit of a military precision cleaning on your hands, then Riven.

Today, I have not yet cleaned up after breakfast, and there are crumbs next to the breadbin. I cringe. I thought I was obsessive, but I rest my case with bringing paper table cloths on a train journey. I can breathe - I am normal.

I remember one NCT acquaintance/friend saying she was never going to have another coffee morning for mums and babies because a baby had put a chocolate biscuit mark on her cream sofa .

On the otherhand I think it can be a source of stress with crawling babies/toddlers when the venue is full of trailing wires, cds to pull down, dangerous toppley things, which was often the case with our bohemian messy home. It took me a while to realise I just had to eliminate the floating objets and I was better at enjoying my guests.

I think people like coming to our messy house, and the feeling their children can go almost everywhere and pull things out, but I've only achieved that by putting a lot of things away, locking things in cupboards, washable throws on furniture etc.

a clean bin? Oh no, that's where I fall down. Everywhere ok-ish but when you flip up the lid of the bin, my secret shame is revealed.

I think ops are being mean about paper tablecloth, as train tables can be perfectly vile, and he is also helping those who sit in seats after him by tidying his own crumbs automatically, so there. As one who travels frequently by train.

The worst culprits that I know for OCD-clean houses (can you guess which side of the argument I'm on?) ended up with DC with asthma / eczema / allergies / etc.
You are doing your DC a favour if you give them a bit of dirt to build up their immune system.

I agree about allergies, as my children have none, nor stomach upsets as a general rule.

Stomach upsets?? What are they?

My house, although not white, is (I am told) at the obessive end of the tidy spectrum.

I do make judgements based on other people's houses. What your house looks like is a statement of who you are or what your life is like.

If I go around to a friend's house and she has young children and it is a tip, I would notice. I would not necessarily make negative assumptions about her, but I might wonder if she was coping OK.

I have no problems at all with "bohemian" mess and wish I knew how to do it. In other people's houses, it makes them looked lived in and cherished. In mine, it just makes it look undtidy. I think there is an art to a homely mess and it is one which I sadly lack.

Dont beat yourself up Riven, you have a full plate. I have time on my hands, what would I do without my frilly lace rimmed rubber gloves?

Hi - I live in a very "about to have a photo shoot" house - but only because DH is incredibly tidy - I love going to more relaxed homes, as long as no-one gets upset when DS picks things up of the piles of stuff and dribbles on them!!

I live in a Kim and Aggie zone, we haven't had a cleaner for ages (£££ ) and are just muddling through - it's been much worse in the past though

I never ever know where to start

(on plus side none of us have ever needed anti-biotics, apart from my eldest who once had a UTI when she was a baby)

Riven...just squirt disinfectant cleaner mixed wth hot water all around the worst bits.leave it for a while...then mop whilst in your chair if you need to. It should be easy if the cleaner has soaked for a while...

and, off topic, have you seen a doctor yet???

Mess and not matching does make me feel a bit itchy really but thats about me not them.

My DH is a pig and I am the opposite - if I had my way the house would be showhome, if he had his way it would be pigstye so we compromise with clean and tidy with a little bit of clutter.

I have lots of boxes/cupboards/drawers where I tidy away to.

I am really really nervous about having kids because I do get quite down when my house is messy

But I do like people to take their shoes off. You wouldn't let a baby crawl on a pavement would you? And that's where shoes come in from...yuk..

And a clean handtowel in bathroom for guests, so that they know which towel to use when washing hands?

nailpolish/purplemonkeydishwasher/Riven

When we go on a train we take a picnic lunch in a M&S recyclable bag. Quite big enough for everything including a table cloth and all the other stuff including cleaning materials.

An M&S bag is sort of my eco low key manbag without really screaming 'MANBAG'. I use it for carrying my business papers as well.

Jajas - you mucked out a horse and spread 3 tons of gravel with not a mention of lunch but a quick cuppa and on to tackle the kitchen

You sound pretty fab yourself.

Worawuman!