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Housekeeping

Find cleaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Housekeeping forum.

Original poster

If you live in the type of house where everything's immaculate and cream, and you have to take your shoes off.........

77 replies

CuppaTeaJanice · 01/03/2009 20:40

...please tell me honestly what you think when you go to a house that's a bit more, erm, 'lived in'.

I've recently arranged a regular meet up with a group of mothers and babies, going to a different house each week. Two of the houses are immaculate, spotlessly clean, nothing out of place, cream sofas...you know the type of house I mean!

Mine is nothing like that. It's not dirty, just a bit messy and bohemian - think piles of papers and a light spattering of dust rather than Kim and Aggie territory.

I'm now getting worried what the other mothers are going to think. Will they like looking at all the interesting stuff I have around, or will they be getting out the Milton wipes as soon as my back is turned?

Hoping for some reassurance from all the domestic goddesses out there.......!!!

OP posts:
Jajas · 01/03/2009 22:10

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piscesmoon · 01/03/2009 22:10

People are far more important than the house. One of my friends has a house that I couldn't live in (piles of stuff everywhere), but as I don't have to live in it I am quite happy to visit.

blossomsmine · 01/03/2009 22:12

Mine is a kind of 'in-betweeny' sort of house I would like it to be white sofa house but it doesn't quite come up to scratch My friends houses are not so much cleaner than mine, but they are bigger and posher lol! I am sometimes abit embarrassed by that, but i think if they are real friends then they should just accept us as we are!
I would be happy in your house, but i don't like dirty houses, if yours is 'interesting' but clean i would love it! I actually admire people who don't feel the need to tidy to within an inch of their lives before people come round.

PillicockSatOnPillicockHill · 01/03/2009 22:16

blossom - i agree

i hate the way I have to have a perfect house

my friends dont care - they'd love me if it was minging- why do i care??? grrrr

blossomsmine · 01/03/2009 22:29

Who wants 'friends' who are judging you, hey?!!

kickassangel · 01/03/2009 22:33

yeah, i can't stand my house being a mess, but actually really love the piles of books & nic-nacs level of 'bohemian', so long as people don't mind if i move stuff to sit down.
i do mind the couple of friends which really are kim & aggie style (before, not after). one of them started to clean her house when they got a dog as she was worried the dog might catch something from them, but wasn't bothered by it messing in the kitchen, as the newspaper 'caught' it all & she just threw that out (didn't mop after or anything)
dh & i actually agreed we really didn't want to go round there for any meals.

skramble · 01/03/2009 22:42

I def have a lived in house, I love it, but do feel uncomfortable about other people coming in especially if they have show homes.

I have had comments about how welcoming and cosy my house is and I try to remember that.

It is clean, toilet is clean, taps are clean, worktops and sink clean. Ok worktops have junk here and there and cooker top is not spotless. Floor is clean and swept everyday, rug probably hoovered once a week.

I should worry less once they climb over the pile of shoes in the hall it can only get better. It is my home and it is me oh and if you are looking for books the reference books are in the living room, kids books in their rooms fiction and more ref at the top of the stairs and magazines and crft books inthe living room .

onadietcokebreak · 01/03/2009 22:45

everything blossomsmine just said I was about to post.

As long as house is clean, even if not tidy then thats all that matters.

Clean bathroom esp toilet and clean bins are important to me.

If these people are the sort that judge you ditch them!

I spent way too much of my maternity leave with people I wouldn't necessarily have chosen as my friends pre baby. Fortunately it wasn't wasted time as I have also found four lovely "my type of people" friends and rediscovered a dear college friend. The others who were toxic and judgemental are long gone now!

ABetaDad · 01/03/2009 23:04

Well our house is that kind of take your shoes off house. Our next door neighbour says she has never been to a house that is so 'white' and letting agent who we rented a house through once asked if we had had the house redecorated before we left it because it was so clean.

Its not that I obsess or anything but if I went to a very dirty house with a baby I just would not put it down on the floor. I might even make excuses and not go.

Don't mind a bit of dust and papers about the place as long as they are not more than a week old but grime and filth is just too much for me.

I secretly cleaned my MIL/FIL house when they went out last time we visited. They do not wear their glasses so they do not see dirt building up on door jambs, handles etc.

I feel a lot better after I have cleaned.

PillicockSatOnPillicockHill · 01/03/2009 23:07

abetadad are you a man?

ninedragons · 01/03/2009 23:13

I love a lived-in atmosphere. We have a couple of childless gay friends with houses that look like the photographer from Architectural Digest left half an hour ago, and while they're all very relaxed, I hate taking DD to their places. I am always terrified she's going to open a temptingly low drawer and wee on a stack of cashmere jumpers.

As long as it's not dirty, I am always happy in a messy house.

blossomsmine · 02/03/2009 00:08

I once went to someones house that i had met at antenatal classes, we had not long had the babies........ she had a 'white' house.....I spilt a whole mug of coffee on the lounge carpet.....oh the shame She is a lovely person, and we are still quite friendly but you could just tell she hated me at that moment!!

Molesworth · 02/03/2009 00:12

I too have a shitpit 'bohemian' house and feel uncomfortable in perfect white showhomes. Yet I'd dearly love to have somewhere to put all my clutter and the money to get a decorator in, handyman to put shelves up so that books aren't 'stored' in teetering piles etc etc. It's horrible feeling that one is being judged for one's slatternly ways

ABetaDad · 02/03/2009 07:21

PillicockSatOnPillicockHill

I am a man. Although my wife says I 'need to get out more' and that I drive her mad.

We were on the train yesterday and as we were sat in a group of 4 seats with a table I thought I ought to clean that with a set of baby wipes before we ate. Luckily I had brought a small paper tablecoth as well.

My wife just sat there reading her paper and suggested I bring the kitchen cleaner next time - which I thought was a good idea.

.

sarah293 · 02/03/2009 07:47

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chimchar · 02/03/2009 07:50

another messy one here!

i find that if the floor is swept, the kitchen worktops are clean, and the bog is clean, then clutter is ok......

i always apologise for the mess but all my friends are used to it! its not terrible, by any means...its just cluttered...

i feel uncomfortable in clean, posh, showhomes. i have to perch onj the edge of the chair in case i mess it up..... everyone of my friends who has a house like this has ocd in varying degrees.....honestly!

my cousin always says "i've come to see your face, not your place!" which i think is lovely, and take comfort in...

hope it goes ok!

piscesmoon · 02/03/2009 07:53

How do people cope with cream and white once their PFB is mobile? I used to host coffee mornings with up to about 15 toddlers-I would have been a nervous wreck if it was all cream!

AnarchyAunt · 02/03/2009 08:07

Our house is distinctly 'bohemian'.

Nothing matches and nothing is cream or beige. Sofas and carpets are covered with throws that can be washed easily. I do hoover/sweep when it looks crumby (so most days), and the worktops and toilet are always clean. I am often told how welcoming it is though - people can just wander in and sit down and make themselves comfy. Big cushions everywhere, lots of books, lots of colour, paintings/drawings/photos all over the walls, small farm 'nature table' on the windowsill, pots of daffodils. It's not dirty though, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

We are desperately house hunting atm as we have just over two weeks to leave our rented house - went to view one the other day and it was a study in cream/oatmeal/beige. Cream satin swag curtains, the lot. The owner was only prepared to take a child in the property if (and here I quote) she was "a tidy child - now my daughter's children, they're tidy children. You can go in their bedrooms any time you like and there won't be a thing out of place, not even in the drawers."

He wanted to have his cleanfreak daughter inspect our house every two weeks to make sure "standards were kept up". Even though we are desperate, I said no. Not because we are messy but because our house looks like what it is - home to a 5yo, passing/meeting place for friends, welcoming, and all that.

purplemonkeydishwasher · 02/03/2009 08:16

there's nothing worse than taking your active children to a showhome house! you can't relax because you spend the entire time keeping them out of eveything.

can you tell that mine isn't like that??
it's messy, though I always tidy when I know people are coming over. and i like guests to take their shoes off. just because i don't mind mess doesn't mean i don['t mind dog shit on my carpets!

crokky · 02/03/2009 08:25

I have an 11m DD (and a 2.11yo DS). My house is somewhere in between. Most decor is neutralish, although I have childrens drawings and paintings and that sort of stuff up. There are marks on my sofa (felt tip!) etc which I don't care about, but I am quite particular about my floors (because of baby and toddler) - I don't leave stuff on the floor and I do vacuum and wipe a lot because I don't want them eating random bits of crap off the floor. Since the floors are clean, it is a shoes off house - the lounge has lots of toys on the floor and I don't like people stepping on soft toys etc in shoes.

If I took DD somewhere, I would feel I would need to constantly watch her if there were piles of paperwork that she could reach (would think of her getting paperclips/staples whatever in her mouth). It is also hard to supervise her if there are lots of books on the floor because she likes to rip them! Ditto CDs, lots of babies like to pick them up and bang them! As long as the kitchen and bathroom were passably cleanish, I wouldn't care about them.

sarah293 · 02/03/2009 09:26

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nailpolish · 02/03/2009 09:33

PMSL at betadad nad his mobile tablecloth

why on earth did you have a tablecloth about your person? as a man, where did you keep it? i assume you dont have a handbag...

purplemonkeydishwasher · 02/03/2009 09:35

he sounds like the type of guy who carries a MANBAG.

sarah293 · 02/03/2009 09:36

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Drusilla · 02/03/2009 09:37

I am the first to admit to being quite anal about my house but honestly do not care what other peoples are like. Really, if they jusge you for it, then don't bother with them.