How do all you working mums fit in the housework and general life

[singyswife]

Tell me your secrets. I have recently gone from working 2 hours a week to 12 hours a week and cannot fit anything in. I have 2 very active dd's (who I LOVE being out with all the time) and two very lively collie dogs. My house seems to be a constant tip and it is getting to me. How can I do it all?>???? Advice needed thanks.

I do sympathise...I do 21 hours a week and I'm in a state of semi frazzle! The things I've found that helps are:

Get everything ready the night before- even down to laying your bra and pants out!

Ditto for bags, lunches, keys blah blah

Magnetic board on fridge - as soon as you run out of something, pop it on the list and then take the weekly shopping list from there - saves going through cupboards and thinking hmmm what havent I got

Tidy as you go along - even small things like putting the mug in the dishwasher rather than leaving it on the side helps

Hmm...sounds as if I'm uber organised doesn't it...am not really

Hiya, thanks for answering. When it comes to a sunday night I am in a complete panic about the week ahead of me. I am enjoying working and tbh now that the kids are both at school I enjoy being out the house but I cannot fit things in.

I make the lunches and uniforms etc the night before and I am trying to retrain myself to 'not put it down put it away' but it aint easy. I will get there I dare say.

Thanks for replying.

lists

laundry every day & put away every day

clean shower whilst in it in the mornings

makes beds if nothing else - looks better

wipe surfaces down each night

throw toys into boxes

it does get easier once you get into a routine

I am finidng it hard to get into a routine as it is an anywhere anytime job (sessional creche worker) so this week I could be doing 4 shifts in one place for one person and next week it could be different hours different place for someone else. This is what I am struggling with.

when i'm on my own, i organize as much as i can the night before

i tidy an area after its been destructed (no point cleaning while they play, but gets too messy if everything is left for next day)

i clean up a little after they are sleeping, no matter how tired i am (even just part of it)

i have preorganized the house so its easy to put things away and quite tidy looking

otherwise - i hire help!!!

No. That's normal singys. For the house to be a constant tip. I have a series of quick clean ups in the evenings and a longer one on Saturday. But it's never really clean. Don;t like it but I've learned to chill about it now.

Being on mnet this time of a Sunday night never helps either.....

Another vote for the mighty list and the 'do it, delegate it or bin it' style of paperwork management!

What about involving others in the chores? Make a game out of tidying up with DDs? I now pay someone to do the garden (and am happy to do this).

My youngest dd loves to help but she likes it so much she gets in the way and my eldest dd hates tidying up and would throw a strop (she is still made to do it) but arguing just takes longer. They do things like taking their own clothes to the wash, putting their dishes away after they have eaten. Putting their uniforms on the ironing board etc but the major things are left to me and it is starting to do my head in. I am not the most houseproud person but the house really is a constant tip. Kids go to bed early on a sunday night so I currently have dishwasher on, washing on, tidy hoovered hall and tidy hoovered livingroom. Washed kitchen floor and toilet floor. Washing everywhere and messy dining room.

Lower your standards

I work FT and am a parish councillor (meetings a couple times a week at the momenent).
DH does a lot as well( on playgroup trust and organiser for local running club & running 2 businesses).

The ironing is done by a lovely lady who waves a wand and the wrinkles disapear
Washing when one of us runs out of clothes
dishwasher done by the kids (almost 4&7)
shop once a month for groceries and weekly for milk & vege
Kids do their own rooms & toys banned from anywhere eles in the house
Dh manages the kids to school and back
Vacuuming done by kids mostly
DD organises her little brother's breakfast and after school snacks

My dd's are 5 and 7, should be expecting more of them??? I dont make them do dishes or anything as I feel they are too young, are they????

Our house is often a tip. I work full time, DP 4 days a week.

I would leave things like beds which really don't have to be made, and concentrate during the week on the stuff which gets you all out of the door - laundry and food shopping mostly. If you're on top of those then at least everyone gets fed and has clean clothes to wear. The rest can usually wait.

get your dp/dh to do more.

get the dc to do more too. My dds can also tantrum and strop at being made to do stuff around the house, but I strop the loudest and longest so they do it in the end. And they are getting better at it.

Other things that have been mentioned already like getting stuff ready the night before, doing internet shopping, use school dinners rather than packed lunches if your mornings are stressed.

Put the lights on low in the evening so you can relax without noticing the mess.

I like the low lights idea, think I will try that one lol

I am hopefully going back to work shortly, and I have started my dc's (6 and 9) on more chores. They are now taking turns helping with the dishes. They also empty their school bags, make their beds, and tidy their rooms now and then.

I work shifts so like you can be out different days/different hours.

Long term you need to de clutter. You might need to set aside a day or two to do a big declutter initially. Then I do stuff like when I buy new clothes, I go through wardrobe and see if there is anything for the charity shop (ditto with toys)

Sometimes the housework is seen as one huge job and it just seems overwhelming. I try and break it down. Realistically it takes say 10-15 minutes to properly clean a kitchen floor for example. 10 minutes to give the loo and bathroom a quick blitz.

Top tip. I try to do the minimum in the evenings. I have a small glass of wine when the children are in bed and this reduces my anxiety about it.

If I could get my dd's to stop arguing for long enough I would get them to do the dishes but they would probably end up throwing them at each other lol. Think I will have to think of a rota system for all of us maybe.

If you have a dh (which you may well do if your posting name isn't misleading!) make sure he is pulling his weight.

We find it works best if we both have tasks that we manage to fit in our own routines. e.g. dh in our house "does" bins, dishwasher, bathing kids, form filling, hoovering etc etc. I do laundry and most food/shopping stuff.

I figured I may as well start them as I meant to go on.... they were helping put the shopping away as soon as they could. The dishwasher started with the knives and forks and expanded.

DS loves vacuuming ( weird child, certainly didn't get that from me) so would do it from as soon as he could walk.... I never tried to stop him. He also loves cooking so gets the lovely jobs like peeling onions and garlic and fetching things from cupboards.

I've just increased from one day to three days per week. And I have never been gifted in the domestic department, so the house does look like a tip, but for what it's worth ...

I'm prioritising laundry: a load on most mornings, hung up later in the day, dry stuff put away while I wait for the girls to get into pyjamas

Trying to train the girls to help with clearing the table, tidying up, hanging up coats, putting shoes away etc. But we are rubbish at routines, so I'm just getting better at asking them to do stuff instead of playing the martyr.

Washing up is a joint effort between DH and I just before we go to bed - good communication time.

Am trying to make sure I do make our bed before I go out in the morning, because it just makes me feel better at the end of the day.

Am getting better at asking people to help - like sharing the school run with other mums, asking DH to do some bits of shopping, calling in babysitting favours when I just need a couple of extra hours.

I've got milk and veg deliveries set up, so we never run out. And shopping is now once every three weeks or so, instead of constantly popping out for extra bits and pieces. Menus are kind of planned-ish, when I am on top of things.

My to-do list has several sub-categories (home, job 1, job 2 ...) to help me keep balls in the air.

Getting school bags, uniforms etc ready the night before really works, but I'm rubbish at remembering.

I have planned downtime into my week, when I know I will not work and will actually play with my kids

Yeah it does sound as if I need to get more organised ands top trying to do it all on my own, Think will have to speak with dh as I am now working too and I cant do it all on my own (it is my job though and I feel bad not being able to do it all on my own). Will have to get the finger out me thinks and get everyone to help.

singyswife - it is not just your job though. Look at it like this, the more tasks you can share, the more time you can be relaxing together. Otherwise you risk running round huffing and sighing while he "rests". Not good for your relationship ime.

Please don't feel you somehow should do it all.

singyswife - I worked out that if I add up the time I spend working (23 hours) and the time I spend simply transferring children from home to school/nursery and back again, that is equivalent hours to a full time week, before any housework gets done.

Which made me feel a lot more motivated to start asking others in the house for help!

I dont mean that other people see it as my job, I am the carer. I am the mummy its what I have always wanted to be and now that I am working I cant be that person and more and I'm sad (cant have more babies). I dont want to pass the responsibility on just yet but there is a lot of huffing and sighing going on while he 'rests' and the dc still come to me for cups of jiuce and snack and I do it rather than send them to him. Just old habit I guess.

singyswife I understand a little. Why not focus on the things that are really important to you then, e.g. making the dcs' snacks, bathing them or whatever. Think carefully about what jobs you can easily let go of and your dh can take care of those.

Send the ironing out and get a cleaner.
Tidy up as you go and get dc to earn their pocket money by tidying their own bedrooms
Make dh pick up his own mess.
ie, delegate!!!