Weekend flylady

[EustaciaVye]

here.

Morning all. IL here today and I have to take cat to vets in an hour. eek.

BWB - I've been thinking about your problems. Everything seems overwheleming at the moment as its all happening at once. Break it down into seperate bits as then you'll be able to deal with them more.

Work is frustrating but you can do something about it. Have a chat with your mentor and let her know that you are feeling a little lost at the moment and that you would appreciate some help from her as to how you can define your future. Try and come up with 2 ideas on what you could do and then ask her advice on them. She may be thinking this is an easy job or she may just not have been trained to mentor people. If you can ask her advice about something specific rather than just wanting general guidance then she can become useful and you will build a relationship.

Now, onto DS. Not sure if you remember but my DD2 is nearly 2. She is wilful and determined. She has slapped,bitten and pinched. The best thing I have found to stop this has been to say a firm No and then say 'stroke' and show her how to stroke you.It has taken some time though.

DS does NOT hate you. He loves you but he probably gets a reaction from hurting you. His behaviour does sound extreme so you need to talk to the HV and see if he can be referred for an assessment. Does your DH notice a difference in DSs behaviour between himself and you? (I ask because your perception maybe a little skewed). Suggest adding a thread on MN about DS as you may get some good tips.

You may also want to talk the HV about how stressed you feel as she may be able to arrange for you to talk to the GP or even get some practical help. Could you take a week off work to give yourself a break?

Definitelt suggest coming back to us as getting back on top of the basic things might make you feel a bit better about everything else. If I am a bit depressed I always notice the mess in the house first.

Take care, come back and talk to us...

EV as always talks alot of sense.

I'm going to try and get my house in order, but may not be back today as I've brought in a computer ban this am due to arguing dds.

morning all

thank you all for the advice and support, I will take it into consideration

In answer to some questions, yes he is affectionate to me also but not as affectionate as he is to others, dp does notice a difference in his behaviour between the two of us, he was also lashing out at my mother (although not as badly) but that seems to have eased off and he has started lashing out at one of his nursery ladies which she is upset about and which is adding to my stress levels. I had though a couple of months ago that I had managed to get him to knock his behaviour on the head but the last couple of weeks have not been good. I need to reassert control over the situation. I have done the ignoring the biting etc which as you say is difficult when they are hanging onto you with their teeth but I do not want to award his bad behaviour with attention. Problem is that dp does not always back up my approach - a major problem in itself - he does not associate a telling off from daddy as giving ds attention, you'd think we'd never watched house of tiny tearaways.

Anyway, having had a good sleep as I was exhausted yesterday and talking to all of you I do feel a bit better. I just need to re-group and regain control.

you are also all right about what I need to do with my mentor, she is fully trained btw, I will give her another chance and if she is still uninterested after that I will request a change of mentor.

anyway, back to the point of this thread

done
tidied kitchen
emptied fridge of nasties
threw breadbin away as it was beyond rescue
did accounts
ordered new tax disc

to do
take overdue books back to library
get bits and bobs for ds's birthday
send out info to friend and grandparents re: birthday treat
definately need to do lots of cleaning and washing

anyway big thanks to all you lovely fly ladies at the risk of getting flamed hugs

Just bookmarking to catch up later

Morning everyone

So far so good ! We'll see how the rest of the day goes

Bewilder glad you feel a bit better this morning too!
EV very sensible advice, you should be an agony aunt!
Jas computer ban

I have loads to do to today, getting the house back in some sort of order after this week. As EV says, it's always the mess you notice first & makes you feel worse!

So todays list
~post letters
~wrap xmas cakes I left cooling on racks last night & find somewhere for them to live
~pots washed & away
~washing (looks like a whole weeks worth but isn't)
~clean bathroom
~s&s kitchen
~hoover & tidy upstairs
~swap toys around
~what's for tea?
~declutter shite pile and my handbag
~shop for nappy bags
~market for bread
~top up shopping list
~oh to phone work about his cheque if it doesn't come with postie!
~bake flapjacks & a cake
~sofa cushions in wm if all washing gets done
~start xmas planning otherwise I'll be cancelling it

Probably more but that's plenty for me to be getting on with for now!

Hope all you ladies have a fab weekend & there are no more shitty days! Think we all deserve a good one! xx

Morning Everyone

Bewilder- You sound more positive this morning.

Done-

Emptied d/w and reloaded
W/M on
Stripped DS and DD beds
Painted with DS. His hands will be bright blue for the rest of the day now until I can give them a proper scrub in the bath!

To Do-

Too much to even list !

Dp at work again today and MIL arriving tonight . She will be arriving to a house full of tensions...last night I told Dp that I want to move. Ideally back to England. He wasnt impressed, though I dont think it came as a shock to him as Ive told him before that I'm not happy here. Not sure what will happen. He wont leave without a fight and I dont want to force him as then he'll blame me if we move and it's not what we expected. Advice from all is welcome!!

BWB It maybe worthwhile having a word with the Sure Start project in the Spen Valley areaq. DS is in the age range and there are people there that can offer practical help to you.

EV has FLYed the problem which is a brilliant idea. Trying to deal with everything all together is difficult.

An Up north get together sounds great BTW

Oh, morning All

I feel foul, drank too much last night. And as Ed wasn't going to stop nagging someone had to peel themselves out of bed and go downstairs with him (so that will be me then )

So my DONE list is

Up
Washed
Tidy the front room
Sort bottles for recycling
Put bins out
Load DW and run
Clean hob
Clean worksurfaces
Wipe and scrub cupboard doors
Clean down the range and hearth in the kitchen (hasn't been done in 2.5 years Out of sight, out of mind huh)

Seems the next door neighbour has been bitching about my 'disgusting' house to another neighbour supercillious arse, he's never been round other than to watch DS's SKY. OK his wife cleaned my kitchen about 2.5 years ago before I got FLYing but FFS. They're the ones who had the rat problem. What a twunt.

Thanks for the rant

done

been to library - borrowed toddler taming book and a novel about the tough bits of motherhood
been to tescos - left ds and dp in the car and was an hour longer than i had intended whoops
my dad has taken ds to the park so that dp and I can do some gardening

grouchy shocked at your neighbour, they have no right to comment on your house, how rude
cafe I think you need to use both your head and heart, it might be a good idea to write down the positives and negatives of living in Eng or Irl. What is it that is making you unhappy where you are, is it the area, the house, distance from friends and family or something else that is making you unhappy?

Off to garden, kick me off here if you see me before 5pm

Bewilder, I lol @you being an hour longer than expected in Tesco! Oh well, at least you got some peace

grouchy that's just plain old rude of your neighbour!!!

cafebistro sorry to hear you're not happy in Ireland. If you don't mind me asking, why not? As myself and oh are thinking about mabe moving over there

Most of my list is done. Just thinking about MIL's birthday Tuesday . . . does a home made choccy cake and some shortbread sound alright to you all? As I'm super skint again so thought the lo could decorate shortbread & I could make a cake & oh can pick a nice card for her. So, what do you think?

NDN is such a 'little' bloke (I can't call him a man) that I shouldn't let him get to me. He's an insignificant waste of oxygen and resources that I shouldn't give him or his equally annoying wife the priveledge of my annoyance.

deep breath

Hello again. I've been FLYing on myself this aft. I have scrubbed and washed and defuzzed and buffed me instead of the house We are off to the local italian with my BF and her DH so I needed to make an effort. I have a new (to me) dress and some Gok approved style grundies to get into. Haven't been out like this for ages and as BF is emigrating to Aus in 3 months I better make the most of it.

I have cleaned the bathroom too

BWB Not Tesco Extra? you were probably driving past my house and seeing my pet roadworks

RR I told DH 'I'm not just a set of genitals' this morning nice aren't I?

RR are you trying to be everything to everyone and ending up being nothing to yourself? A real grouchy problem that one.

My poor DH doesn't deserve it but he's crap at the 'approach' IYKWIM (sorry TMI{blush])

I should get out of bed

It's the IKEA flatpack approach to the whole thing....Touch part a, get flange b etc etc. It's so tawdry does it have to follow a pattern?

lmao@ you Ruby & grouchy, I think a lot of men have that approach! My oh included!

Grouchy, I am at you stil being in bed . . . . oh I wish!!!

But that will be me on Thursday. MIL is having the lo overnight to try out the bedroom they've decorated for her. So we are of out for something to eat & a few drinks in town & a very very very lazy Friday morning.

BIL and his gf have decided on baby names . . . . . Coby Lee for a boy, and Hannah Louise for a girl, which I think is nice. So myself and MIL are praying for a girl so she gets a 'decent' name.

My wm is poorly It's left funny grey kinda deposits on my last load of laundry & it all smells rally minging & musty. Not sure quite why as it's been fine all day & haven't had a single problem with it since we got it!

Anyways, am off to do something else . Ok, I'm off to see what else is happening on MN really xx

P.S. sorry about dodgy spelling or missed letters, laptop is struggling to keep up with my typing recently & I can't be arsed to retype!

Evening Ladies

I am a bit jittery as for the first time in over two years we only have one DS tonight. My mum offered to have DS1 for the night (the only night he sleep away was the night DS2 was born) and even more that she offered. She also bought me 2 tops in the M&S Sale

So me and DH are having date night and I got a couple of steaks too

I have to say that DH is not THAT type of man Ruby and Groucy - Lucky me. So I am cliaming my libedo back from Mr menopause and keeping it - he he he

We have had a nice day at theMadHouse, we have been out for a long walk this morning, had lunch out at local pub and then back for DS2's nap. DS1 and DH have played on the wii whilst I managed the ironing.

Tehn off to the town mum lives in and grabbed a few things and then dropped DS1 at my mums.

DS2 refused to have a bath on his own - he is over 2 years old and never ever had one - he instisted on me and DH getting in

So I am cooking and then for a night with DH - oh fried onions, steak and chips - the food of love

Oh and Lucys one of neices is call Hannah Louise. Or Annah louise, as she drops her Hs - common girl

I know of a boy called coby (not sure of spelling). Always makes me think of Kobe - Japanese earthquakes place.

Coby makes me think of Beef - no idea why

I'm not keen on Coby tbh, think it's her choice as we 'bagsied' Luke if our second is a boy and his bro wanted it but we thought it would be nice in memory of one of oh's mates who died last year very suddenly . Hannah Louise is nice though. & Mad, we all drop H's round 'ere Think it's a regional thing here

Mad enjoy your date night with oh!

Off to watch the end of X-Factor which has sounded very vey dodgy soooooo far. Not keen this year

grouchy yes tesco extra, where else can you lose an hour and a half of your life without noticing?

Hello, late night check in after a busy day. Only minimal flying tho but still managed the baby steps.

Sounds like lots of people are having a rough time at the moment. EV's advice was fab - flying is useful for all aspects of life. Hope everyone is feeling better tomorrow.

On the names, I think Hannah Louise is lovely but am another one who isn't keen on Coby. Sounds like something out of High School Musical (not that I've ever seen it, but ykwim)

Ruby Loved the house elf comment. I will need to remember that one. Hope the family start appreciating you soon.

Gotta go, DD crying.