What is an appropriate rent for Adult kids living at home ?

[Bananainpyjamas1980]

Two Adults , neither does a single chore bar maybe washing a plate after use.. Packed lunches , tea cooked, washing , drying, folding , all household cleaning and gardening etc... you get the drift...
Parents doing everything but I guess it's our fault for doing it!
Now getting to the stage of resenting doing these things daily with little thanks as we are quite fed up tbh.

25-30% of their income and you put a good chunk of that into savings for them

if they are living at home, they should be saving at least that much towards future housing anyway.

Unfortunately there is no saving as neither could afford housing.
Reading data says so little about cost of living and how much it affects families in general.
Im just fed up!

You need to start delegating chores, are they not able to.tidy up after themselves?

anyway we took a minimum amount from hours once they were working full-time so they could save some if they wanted, im not a bank I had no intention of saving to offer them it back, the money they gave went on food and bills,

Firstly stop doing any personal stuff like washing, bed linens etc. they make their own breakfast and lunches unless you are eating together too. All shared household tasks like cleaning is to be shared out. Then they should be paying £400 a month to you for food, utilities and bed, minimum, more if on a higher wage - you can choose what to do but I would put into a savings account for each of them to get a deposit together - it’s not impossible to move out eventually

Wait ... you are making packed lunches for your adult children? Did I read that right?

They do their own laundry and they make their own packed lunches.Need to know the level of their income really but I'm thinking maybe 15 - 20%

Packed lunches? Do you mean that you make packed lunches for your adult children?

Rent would depend on their income and age, are we talking 18 year olds or late 20s? Are you already charging rent but feel like they should pay more due to them not helping in the home?
Looks like you would appreciate more help as well as rent and maybe that needs addressing asap.

If they are adults then they need to be doing things in the house and making their own lunch!

What they give you for rent or towards running costs will depend on their earnings.

No rent. They pay for their own food and they prepare that food, they pay a share of utilities. And you stop being their skivvy.

The dynamic you need to go for is that if housemates, not parent/child at this stage. This means doing NOTHING for them domestically. Literally. They do their own cleaning, laundry, cooking. You allocate fridge space and kitchen cupboards. This is how it would be if they were in a room in a shared house.

As to costs, add up all outgoings including utilities, broadband, water and council tax and divide by the number of adults in the household. That is what they should be contributing. Again, what they would be paying if in a room in a shared house.

Be strong OP - put down the lunchboxes and the laundry basket!!!

One of mine has just moved home after uni (21) and has a grad job paying £32k pa. As well as taking part at home, no 'set' tasks but just pitching in like a contributing grown up, I have asked them to pay the council tax - £250 per month.

I don't need a financial contribution, but feel that they should pay something - they are very sensible and a big saver so I don't have any concerns or think I need to take cash from them to save it for them.

My adult son still lives at home - he earns about 35k and pays us £500 a month, just moved up from £400. We buy all the food and alcohol included in that - though he does do some household chores & walks the dog in the evening.

We will gift him a deposit for his first home when he wants to move out but we wanted to establish the principle that it's not free to live. It's expensive where we are in the South East.

My DS brings home just over £1000 a month from an apprenticeship; he pays us £200 a month for his keep (food and utilities). He takes his turn cooking for the family, does his own washing and ironing as basics and is expected to muck in with other stuff as needed. We are giving him my car when I get another one this summer, so I certainly can't say we're making money from him, but it gives him a level of self respect to pay his way.

1/3 saving 1/3 board 1/3 spends is how I was brought up and how I worked with my kids.

Yes you did... hangs head in shame!

Can I move in please? I'll pay rent happily for all those services 😁

FFS stop doing everything for them! You know you are creating nightmare lazy partners for some poor unsuspecting people one day? They will move in with a partner, not lift a finger, and expect their partner to run around after them and do everything like their mum!

Thanks everyone for your input , it really has helped clarify many things.
We are a recent blended family and I guess we just fell into these ways , previously it was myself and my DD who is autistic so I never questioned what I was doing as she does need lots of support and spend lots of time teaching her lifestyle and cooking skills so one day she may be able to live in supported housing.
Things are most certainly going to change now though even if it's baby steps into a bit more freedom!

I didn't charge rent for my adult children as it was agreed that they would put that money in a savings account towards a house deposit.
I certainly don't cook, make pack lunches or do any of their laundry. They buy there own food and they have space in the cupboards and fridge etc. They look after themselves. That's not my responsibility..

Yes but pretty much only because hubby has one daily, don't get me wrong DH wouldn't expect me to make his lunch , it's usually both of us in the kitchen, one making the evening meal while the other doing lunches but we've both felt a bit down slaving away in this heat.

Tbh if I was making a sandwich to take to work and DC needed one I’d just make theirs too, I think most people would.

We are a newly ish blended family for context, I haven't bought this adult child up , only mine who has additional needs whom needs extra help and I will always do my best by her.

Carry on supporting your own child in the most appropriate way possible for her needs but you need to have a word with your DH to tell his own adult child to pull their finger out and behave like an adult.

£200 pcm and they make their own packed lunches and do their own laundry and do their fair share of chores around the house. You are babying them by running around after them making their packed lunches. A 12 year old cam do it themselves.

We always said 20% of their take home so after all the deductions. We saved half of this (they didn’t know until buying their own homes) but then we were lucky we could afford to do this.

I always did everything for them, I’m retired early and quite honestly happy to do it, though they did help me would never need asking to bring the washing in or empty the dishwasher. I love to cook, and hate people using my kitchen so yes I did lunches too.

my adult daughter is still at home and she pays the 20% and helps around the house as and when.