Do I have to sell family home ?

[SingleMumOfAnAdultChild]

My husband and I separated 5 years ago when our daughter was 13. He forced me into selling the family home because he wanted his share. He had a third and I had two thirds of the proceeds of sale because our daughter was living with me full time. She’s now turned 18 and he has told her that I have to sell the new house and give her her share. He gave me £500 maintenance a month towards bills, food etc. There’s nothing in writing to say this was the deal. Is he right ? Thanks

I think you need proper legal advice, but if nothing was said before, then I don’t think so. The house is yours. It’s not usual to sell the family house and pass on the money when your child turns eighteen.

You bought a new home with your proceeds? In your name? After you divorced?

No, of course you don’t need to give her your house!

Are you legally divorced?

No. He won’t divorce me and I can’t afford to pay for a divorce.

Sound like you need legal advice, whether you can afford it or not.

Then I assume your finances are still legally tied together and he does have a say in your house (and you have a say in any other finances on his side too - savings/pensions, house etc). You will need legal advice and a divorce with a financial order.

Many solicitors will give you a free hour of advice. You can look up solicitors in your area on the Law Society website. https://solicitors.lawsociety.org.uk/

You need one that specialises in Family law for a divorce and they can also advise on your rights regarding your home.

You may qualify for legal aid. Even if you have to pay for further advice it will be money well spent if you keep your home.

I would say you can’t afford NOT to see a lawyer and get divorced! The short answer is YES he could end up with half the house you now own but you could also end up with half his pension or any house he now owns.
You really do need legal advice.

A free half hour is a myth and legal aid is not available unless in very limited circumstances involving recent domestic violence.

This

Where I live lots of solicitors do free half hour appointments, I don’t understand why people think they’re a myth!

It’s about £550 online. Do it and tell him to fuck off. And no, obviously you do not need to sell your house and give anything to your DD. You got a bigger share because you were housing her, unlike him. Please don’t let this wanker occupy too much of your thoughts.

They’re not a myth but they won’t be able to give much advice in half an hour so they aren’t as helpful as they’re made out to be on Mumsnet. Understandably so as they’re only done to bring clients in through the door.

Ask him to show you the legal document that you signed that says you have to do that - if there is one then it shouldn’t be a problem for him, he can send you a screen shot of it right now. If there is no document then he’s talking rubbish.

Say there is a document which you were somehow conned into signing without seeing it - where does he propose his daughter lives when you’ve sold your home and made you and her homeless? And what’s to stop her spending all the money on holidays and clothes? What’s his plan for the money?

Who owns the house you live in now? Whose name is on the deeds? If it’s just your name it’s your house.

It’s always a shame that children are treated as being independent adults under the law when they’re 18. Has he said what he expects to happen re housing if your current house is sold? She moves out into a flat or something?
What’s the overall picture? There will probably be no more maintenance so what equity is there between you? Earnings? Savings? Pensions? Other DC?
You need legal advice but you can get a good idea via online content so you can be prepared and understand what’s likely to happen.

My ex was refusing to divorce, I did it myself, the court sent me all the papers to fill in. It was time consuming (especially as he kept ignoring everything), but it wasn’t that complicated, even with arrangements for the kids.

They are a myth in terms of being useful to anyone. Where they exist they are a marketing tool. Solicitors don't give any useful information or provide any actual work for free. They may give a potential client an outline of the work they could do like a consultation but it's not actual legal representation.

www.gov.uk/get-a-divorce

That is very true. I used to do them when I was a trainee solicitor (as the more senior people didn’t want to waste their time). You will get very little in the way of targeted advice because it usually takes over half an hour to even gather relevant information to be able to advise. It’s a marketing ploy. Solicitors obviously aren’t charities.

Is your current house entirely in your name?

Oh wow, this could end up costing you op if you are not divorced, let alone dont have a financial order.

Regardless, children have nothing to do with divorce so I dont know why he's coming out with this.

Are you Scotland or England?

Does he now have a new property? Pension etc for you to potentially barter with.

You need legal advice but after being separated 5 years and with the new house in your name only, I hope you should be able to keep it. Best of luck. Maybe try CAB or shelter before paring for advice.

I doubt it will end up costing her and scaremongering isn’t helpful. They made their own financial settlement when they separated and he got his one third share at that stage. Given that the OP says she can’t afford a divorce, I doubt she has more assets beyond the house. No court is going to give him more on top of what he’s already had. Yes, ideally she should get a financial order to reflect what’s happened but that obviously does cost money.

You absolutely need competent legal advice, @SingleMumOfAnAdultChild !!!

save money by doing your homework:

• Wikivorce
• Divorce for Dummies
• family solicitor websites

Gather as much financial information - yours and his - as possible, including both house deeds and mortgage statements.

Then, PLEASE, see an experienced family solicitor. You must get divorced and agree a proper financial order.

Yes she will, as her DH got his share from their previous house and that sounds like an entirely fair settlement where one person is going to have care of the children. Nobody is going to give him more now and force the OP to sell her house. Yes, technically financial claims remain open until they are dismissed by the court but that doesn’t mean that the courts go round dishing out cash to husbands who’ve had their fair share just because their wives can’t afford to get a financial order.