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Housekeeping

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Original poster

Do I have to sell family home ?

58 replies

SingleMumOfAnAdultChild · 08/12/2025 07:08

My husband and I separated 5 years ago when our daughter was 13. He forced me into selling the family home because he wanted his share. He had a third and I had two thirds of the proceeds of sale because our daughter was living with me full time. She’s now turned 18 and he has told her that I have to sell the new house and give her her share. He gave me £500 maintenance a month towards bills, food etc. There’s nothing in writing to say this was the deal. Is he right ? Thanks

OP posts:
Glowingup · 08/12/2025 10:22

Elektra1 · 08/12/2025 10:10

Yes I am a lawyer and I have been divorced twice myself.

I think the OP needs legal advice, but the basic principles are that unless you have a financial order, a claim for provision can be brought at any time. There’s another case from 2023 where the couple had been divorced for 30 years, and had a deed of separation from the time they split, which agreed their financial provision. Even so, 30 years later the court was willing to open that back up because it was never turned into a financial order.

Anyone divorcing or separating, no matter how amicably, should get a financial order at the time. Otherwise, there is no certainty as to what could happen.

Show quote history

Are you a family lawyer? I mean i wouldn’t have a clue how a court would decide a shipping dispute for instance. I think the high net worth cases you are citing are not going to be particularly relevant in this case. Yes, the court can of course vary or ignore any agreement made by the parties. The point is, are they likely to in this case where the husband has received his share and where the wife has very modest assets? My opinion is no, it would be very unlikely that they would and if I was advising the OP I would tell her that. Not that the court might order her to pay 50% of her entirely post-separation assets to her estranged husband.

Florencesndzebedee · 08/12/2025 10:23

You don’t sound very clued up about things and should really have divorced before you bought your new property so you must see a divorce lawyer. Borrow the money if necessary. The law usually starts with a 50/50 split of all assets including housing, pensions, savings of both parties. Best to have a clean financial split going forward. You don’t have to wait for him to divorce you, you can initiate this yourself.

Snoken · 08/12/2025 10:26

Elektra1 · 08/12/2025 10:10

Yes I am a lawyer and I have been divorced twice myself.

I think the OP needs legal advice, but the basic principles are that unless you have a financial order, a claim for provision can be brought at any time. There’s another case from 2023 where the couple had been divorced for 30 years, and had a deed of separation from the time they split, which agreed their financial provision. Even so, 30 years later the court was willing to open that back up because it was never turned into a financial order.

Anyone divorcing or separating, no matter how amicably, should get a financial order at the time. Otherwise, there is no certainty as to what could happen.

Show quote history

I agree. I have also gone through divorce (from a very difficult man) and my solicitor was very persistant when it came to the financial side being 100% settled and signed off by a judge immediately once the divorce has gone through. It is the single most important aspect of divorce as you are financially tied until you do.

Separation changes nothing, divorce changes some things, financial settlement completely frees you of any responsibility towards your ex.

Having said that, the DD shouldn't have any claim on any house. Ex could have a claim on a portion of OPs assets depending on who has more assets by the time they divorce. The most vital thing here is to get divorced asap.

Elektra1 · 08/12/2025 10:28

Glowingup · 08/12/2025 10:22

Are you a family lawyer? I mean i wouldn’t have a clue how a court would decide a shipping dispute for instance. I think the high net worth cases you are citing are not going to be particularly relevant in this case. Yes, the court can of course vary or ignore any agreement made by the parties. The point is, are they likely to in this case where the husband has received his share and where the wife has very modest assets? My opinion is no, it would be very unlikely that they would and if I was advising the OP I would tell her that. Not that the court might order her to pay 50% of her entirely post-separation assets to her estranged husband.

Show quote history

I have worked in family law but am no longer a family lawyer, having moved to a different discipline some time ago. That said, lawyers do understand legal principles and their application by judges across different disciplines better than non-lawyers, just as I readily accept that my friend who is a consultant radiologist is able to interpret my sick parent’s medical notes and recommended treatment plan better than I could, even though the nature of the illness is not something a radiologist deals with directly.

I think you should be more cautious about giving “advice” on a thread like this, based on what you think should happen, which is not the same as what can happen. Only a lawyer instructed by the OP, who has all of the detail of the OP and her ex’s situation, can give clear advice, as I have said. But the principle remains that a court can do whatever it sees fit at the time of the financial remedy proceedings. Hence the need for legal advice. Or, she can self-represent and judges are usually sympathetic to that.

Soontobe60 · 08/12/2025 12:17

PumpkinTwistyWindToots · 08/12/2025 07:49

They are a myth in terms of being useful to anyone. Where they exist they are a marketing tool. Solicitors don't give any useful information or provide any actual work for free. They may give a potential client an outline of the work they could do like a consultation but it's not actual legal representation.

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I had a free half hour with a local solicitor and they were excellent. I took all the paperwork I had, wrote down all the questions I wanted answers to and during the appointment wrote down her responses. I was sent a copy of the items discussed afterwards to. I did decide to go with that solicitor (n the end and they were excellent.

Enrichetta · 08/12/2025 16:27

@SingleMumOfAnAdultChild - I hope you have now had a chance to go through the answers to your questions. ‘Housekeeping’ is not the best place for divorce related advice, although you have received some useful information.

You may want to re-think your unique situation and questions and repost in the Divorce or Legal Matters forums.

Teddybear23 · 08/12/2025 18:50

SingleMumOfAnAdultChild · 08/12/2025 07:15

No. He won’t divorce me and I can’t afford to pay for a divorce.

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I thought if you’ve been separated 2 years you can have a divorce based on unreconcilable differences. I did that and it didn’t cost much at all. However I didn’t have children but your daughter is now an adult so shouldn’t count🤔ring the citizens advice.

pecanpie101 · 08/12/2025 19:48

Seek legal advice. You don't need 'his permission' for a divorce. Get your divorce sorted now and him out of your life!

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