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Housekeeping

Find cleaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Housekeeping forum.

Original poster

Housekeeping things your DP does that horrify you

107 replies

Fluffyelephant · 06/10/2024 21:45

My DP moved in earlier this year and he’s a lovely man. No regrets. But some of the housekeeping things I’ve discovered him doing have me 😳

There was the usual man stuff.. thinking it was normal to only change the sheets every few months. And when he does his washing he washes everything together. And I mean everything. Dark clothes, white clothes, kitchen towels, the bath mat, dog’s blanket - all in one load!

Tonight I discovered when he cleans the kitchen he doesn’t use the sponge that we keep with the cleaning supplies but just picks up the sponge we use to wash the dishes, sprays it with the super strong kitchen cleaner chemicals and then proceeds to clean the whole kitchen.. and then pops it back in the sink for us to use.

I mean do other people do that?! He’s adamant they do and I’m crazy for thinking it’s not normal.

So firstly, am I some kind of clean freak and the sponge thing is what everyone else is doing? And secondly, what cleaning things does your DP do that horrify you?

OP posts:
southsidegal · 07/10/2024 06:54

After we first moved in together repeatedly caught mine using the dustpan and brush to clear crumbs from the kitchen worktop and other surfaces. I could not convince him this wasn't very efficient (and actually he's right and I didn't want to discourage the cleaning, it is just disgusting to use the floor one) so I bought him a dedicated one in another colour that is only used for this.

Bestyearever2024 · 07/10/2024 06:54

*There was the usual man stuff.. thinking it was normal to only change the sheets every few months. And when he does his washing he washes everything together. And I mean everything. Dark clothes, white clothes, kitchen towels, the bath mat, dog’s blanket - all in one load!

Tonight I discovered when he cleans the kitchen he doesn’t use the sponge that we keep with the cleaning supplies but just picks up the sponge we use to wash the dishes, sprays it with the super strong kitchen cleaner chemicals and then proceeds to clean the whole kitchen.. and then pops it back in the sink for us to use.

I mean do other people do that?! He’s adamant they do and I’m crazy for thinking it’s not normal.*

Christ on a bike this would horrify me.

I'm happy to be abnormal and weird 🤣 but no no no no to all of the above 😀

Chillisintheair · 07/10/2024 06:55

BG2015 · 07/10/2024 06:45

My DP rinses cups etc instead of washing them with hot water and washing up liquid. I hate it.

I often re wash things when he's left the room.

PIL do this. I unserstand it.

Northerngirl89 · 07/10/2024 06:57

Cem82 · 06/10/2024 23:18

The chemical sponge is terrifying that would really upset me!

My big list of hates (apparently I am a nag and nobody cares about these things but me):

  • My partner is a serious germaphobe (hands like sandpaper from constant washing every time he touches anything - his phone, a door handle etc) but when he does the dishes he doesn’t think to wipe the counters or clear up splashes on the tiles.
  • He takes out a new chopping board for every item and usually there are 3-5 of them to be washed before we even get to dinner one might have been for cheese for his sandwich, then a new one an hour later for my daughter’s sandwich and none of them washed or put away.
  • He doesn’t clean bathrooms - I think the not using chemicals and not tacking the dirty jobs feeds into his germaphobia and his fear of the effects of chemicals on his health - so if there’s the need to use oven cleaner it’s on me which is just lovely if he thinks it’s that dangerous!
  • He stacks the dishwasher in a mad haphazard way that leaves it half empty so I have to reshuffle it before it goes on.
  • He puts things like cheese graters away in a different place each time so I always have to search all the cupboards.
  • If he is unpacking shopping he puts the same food types scattered throughout the fridge - like cheddar on each shelf so several get accidentally opened and you have decaying strawberries at the back of the top shelf that you are not aware exist. He also never touches or throws out the decaying hidden food but will mention that “we” must throw it out. It is chaos. I plan on filling the fridge with little boxes with labels on them but I doubt that’ll work!
  • Laundry is the same tshirts go in with the trousers, pillow cases in the middle of towel bundles - if I question it he says I should draw a diagram of how I want things stored if I am that fussy and ocd! I recently got him to start pairing socks as he could never find his sock’s match and it has changed his life lol.
  • Oh hanging clothes on the clothes line is mad, he goes out and throws them all on the line with no pegs, he then goes around pegging them afterwards and retrieving all the ones that have fallen to the floor, he pegs them as they landed in the line, ie top half of dress over the bottom half so it’s not properly exposed to the sun and comes in partially wet in the middle - I tell him to peg from the end of things and get told “your way isn’t necessarily the only way of doing things”. This is actually progress, it took me about ten years of arguing about the necessity of pegs and loads of our towels blowing into the river before he started pegging things - I do sometimes go outside and find a wash unpegged and a sea of socks on the ground “but it wasn’t windy when I hung them out”.
  • taking socks off around the house and leaving them there for me to pick up (I throw them in his office)

We are both probably complete opposites in that regard - he doesn’t care about or notice small details and I like order! He has accidentally broken quite a few of my favourite things when putting away dishes or stacking things to dry as he does it without a care in the world. In the last two days I have lost a glass, a sentimental mug and a beautiful candle holder.

His dad is seriously organised, the house is show house clean and everything in his house has a particular place, is labelled, you can find everything - I love it, it is strange my partner grew up with that and is a chaos merchant. Incidentally his dad’s partner says she can not relax in his house as it is too organised and regimented for her tastes lol.

I don't remember writing this! You have just described my life. I wish dh had an office I could throw the socks into! His DC have started leaving socks in random places and it drives me nuts. The only thing missing from your list is the piles on every surface - e.g a key, a random loyalty card, a stamp, a conker all nearly gathered on the kitchen counter/a coffee table etc :)

Original poster
Fluffyelephant · 07/10/2024 08:17

Peonies12 · 07/10/2024 06:47

This! You’re being OTT. And maybe reconsider your cleaning products; you don’t need those chemical laden sprays, they’re so bad for your health. I only use hot water and washing up liquid; and sometimes white vinegar, and our house is very clean. And we’re never ill

Edited
Show quote history

Was actually my DP who made us switch to those cleaning products! Apparently my more natural ones ‘did nothing’

OP posts:
Doggymummar · 07/10/2024 08:21

I do all those things, just be glad he's helping

Original poster
Fluffyelephant · 07/10/2024 08:36

Doggymummar · 07/10/2024 08:21

I do all those things, just be glad he's helping

‘Helping’ implies we both aren’t equally responsible for cleaning.

OP posts:
ExquisiteIyDecorated · 07/10/2024 09:38

The random crap on surfaces is mine, but at least now he uses apple pay and you can say no to receipts there are no longer piles of coins and crumpled receipts everywhere, but he does still take things out of packets and leave the empty packet on the side, or get out a screwdriver and leave it on a surface indefinitely. Then buys another one when he can't find it in the toolbox.

MrsMagoooo · 07/10/2024 09:49

Reading in amazement the posters who won't wash their knickers and teatowels together!

Why not? Is it your knickers that are too toxic or your teatowels?

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 07/10/2024 09:59

@NellietheNumpty ‘Washed’ a large wool rug with the power washer! actually I have done this and it turned out brilliantly!! took 3 days to dry with last day being dried in the big bathroom but honestly so satisfying. it was one of those really thick rugs and it would have cost quite a bit to have it cleaned.

Original poster
Fluffyelephant · 07/10/2024 10:01

MrsMagoooo · 07/10/2024 09:49

Reading in amazement the posters who won't wash their knickers and teatowels together!

Why not? Is it your knickers that are too toxic or your teatowels?

I'm one of these 😂

Kind of both. I'd never really given it any thought before but I guess its because I don't want underwear 'traces' coming into contact with tea towels with 'food remnants'.

And I always thought you needed to do a hot wash for things like towels and tea towels. Whereas I do a cool wash for clothes.

And knickers tend to be dark coloured and tea towels are often lighter.

OP posts:
Tryingtokeepgoing · 07/10/2024 10:04

mollyfolk · 06/10/2024 22:18

Mine is the same - washing the tea towels and underwear in the same load unless I catch him "shudder"

Also watching him handle meat and then touch numerous things before washing hands Easter Confused

Completely with you on the meat thing, but how rubbish is your washing machine / detergent (or how dirty the underwear…) that a mixed load of tea towels and underwear won’t come out clean…?

squashyhat · 07/10/2024 10:09

mollyfolk · 06/10/2024 22:18

Mine is the same - washing the tea towels and underwear in the same load unless I catch him "shudder"

Also watching him handle meat and then touch numerous things before washing hands Easter Confused

Shudder? They all come out clean so what's the problem?

silentpool · 07/10/2024 10:09

I put everything in together. It hangs out to dry on the line - don't have time to fuss over separate loads.

Same sponge gets used on dishes and rest of kitchen. They go into soak at the end of the day and ultimately in the washing machine.

FoxtrotOscarKindaDay · 07/10/2024 10:14

MrsMagoooo · 07/10/2024 09:49

Reading in amazement the posters who won't wash their knickers and teatowels together!

Why not? Is it your knickers that are too toxic or your teatowels?

Knickers get fabric conditioner, towels don't for the simplest reason.

Towels are thicker and cause damage to thinner fabrics, leading to piling plus they shed lint onto other fabrics too. I don't wash fluffy bathrobes with my knickers either.

Kitchen towels/cloths harbour bacteria (e. Coli for example) and shouldn't be washed with general clothing. General clothes can be washed at lower temperatures.

Towels absorb more water too so if you're putting a mixed load into a dryer you are taking more time to dry it than you would without the towels.

Laundry is more efficient washing like fabrics together. Including jeans.

Doggymummar · 07/10/2024 16:01

Fluffyelephant · 07/10/2024 08:36

‘Helping’ implies we both aren’t equally responsible for cleaning.

Show quote history

I don't agree, but that's your opinion. We both help out around the house, garden, neighborhood, in so much as we can

greenwoodentablelegs · 07/10/2024 16:13

@Cem82 love your description ‘chaos merchant’

I am one too and my DH has beat order into me, but he will also let things rot in the fridge. It’s like a massive blind spot

Pigeonqueen · 07/10/2024 16:24

We have a dishwasher so never really wash anything by hand anyway so the sponge thing isn’t an issue for us, and I do tend to wash everything together - except maybe towels which I often blast on a hot wash. But the not changing sheets for months thing would be 😳😳😳🤢🤢 for me. Grim. Really grim.

The main issue I have with dh is that he is obsessed with house plants and will quite often borrow my very nice nail scissors from my make up bag to prune one of his plants! 😡😳

And I’ve caught my teenage son using the kitchen sponge to clean his football boots a few times (until I told him not to)!

mathanxiety · 07/10/2024 19:57

FoxtrotOscarKindaDay · 07/10/2024 10:14

Knickers get fabric conditioner, towels don't for the simplest reason.

Towels are thicker and cause damage to thinner fabrics, leading to piling plus they shed lint onto other fabrics too. I don't wash fluffy bathrobes with my knickers either.

Kitchen towels/cloths harbour bacteria (e. Coli for example) and shouldn't be washed with general clothing. General clothes can be washed at lower temperatures.

Towels absorb more water too so if you're putting a mixed load into a dryer you are taking more time to dry it than you would without the towels.

Laundry is more efficient washing like fabrics together. Including jeans.

Show quote history

In all my years of doing laundry (since the mid 1980s) I've never experienced any of these issues.

I've never seen the point of using kitchen cloths either. They're rank.

mathanxiety · 07/10/2024 20:00

Fluffyelephant · 07/10/2024 06:29

I love that we’ve found a space to vent! Hope this thread hasn’t led to any divorces though! 😂

it’s eye opening to see the different things that bother or don’t bother different people. I’m certainly no perfect housewife btw, and guilty of some of the things that have come up!

With the washing up / cleaning sponge thing, it’s reassuring in a way to know that I’m probably in the minority by being bothered by it. I should flag though, although I don’t like the dishes sponge being used on the counter my main horror was from it being heavily sprayed with the cleaning chemicals we use on the hob etc. I’m not totally convinced it’s good for you to then have those chemicals rubbed onto your plates and cutlery… or that it would all completely wash out with a quick rinse under the tap..

If the chemicals are being used on the hob, are they not becoming airborne when the hob heats up?

Cleaning plates with sponges of any kind would give me the heebie jeebies.

casapenguin · 07/10/2024 20:14

I am still semi- strict on laundry, eg. Do towels separately in a hot wash, and do lights, darks and whites; but since I got a massive washing machine I’ve had to compromise on some of my previous laundry boundaries to be able to fill the washing machine (if you’ve seen that bit in Derry Girls that is me - I hate having to put the washing machine on half full). Never used to do tea towels and knickers in the same wash but now o do - can confirm I have neither got E. coli from my knickers or a knicker disease from my tea towels.

I never use fabric conditioner cos I don’t get it and I wash my dish cloth after every time. I prefer a cloth to a sponge because I just think sponges are a bit gross.

MidnightPatrol · 07/10/2024 20:15

When he does the washing up he never cleans the plug, so whatever food etc was there is just left in the sink for me to discover later.

Tarantella6 · 07/10/2024 20:39

I wouldn't wash towels and knickers together, in fact I am really particular about what comprises a wash, but I do take weeks on end to change bed sheets. Basically housekeeping on my terms 😁

The cloth thing is easily remedied by putting absolutely everything in the dishwasher. I can't remember the last time I washed something up by hand. Also the dishwasher kills every germ known to man.

FiveShelties · 07/10/2024 21:51

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 07/10/2024 05:20

@Fluffyelephant dog bedding - launderette!!!! not putting that in my washing machine! dishtowels should be boiled so how can they go in with underwear and all other washing? bedding should also be boiled so that cannot be mixed either! j cloth for bathrooms, sink, bath, toilet then bin!! I have a dishwasher so only have a cloth for washing down worktops and a glasscloth for drying and polishing it.

I am delighted to say that I have never in my 68 years boiled a dishtowel or bedding.😀

AutumnTimeForCosy24 · 07/10/2024 23:13

Hugmorecats · 07/10/2024 01:28

Mine wipes his face on the hand towel in the kitchen, which upsets me a little.

I might be a bit over the top with the washing up as I get a new cloth each time I do it and then put it in to be washed. But I have a dishwasher so I’m not washing up often.

@Hugmorecats

i get a fresh dishcloth each time too, and I don't have a dishwasher, new one each time the coffee machine nozzle needs wiping too. Dishcloth might then be used for dishes if it coincides with coffee making. I go through a lot of dishcloths. But they only go in in with tea towels so it's fine.

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