Page 2 | Housekeeping things your DP does that horrify you

Fluffyelephant · 2024-10-06T20:45:19+00:00

My DP moved in earlier this year and he’s a lovely man. No regrets. But some of the housekeeping things I’ve discovered him doing have me 😳 There was the usual man stuff.. thinking it was normal to only change the sheets every few months. And when he does his washing he washes everything together. And I mean *everything*. Dark clothes, white clothes, kitchen towels, the bath mat, dog’s blanket - all in one load! Tonight I discovered when he cleans the kitchen he doesn’t use the sponge that we keep with the cleaning supplies but just picks up the sponge we use to wash the dishes, sprays it with the super strong kitchen cleaner chemicals and then proceeds to clean the whole kitchen.. and then pops it back in the sink for us to use. I mean do other people do that?! He’s adamant they do and I’m crazy for thinking it’s not normal. So firstly, am I some kind of clean freak and the sponge thing is what everyone else is doing? And secondly, what cleaning things does your DP do that horrify you?

AutumnTimeForCosy24 · 07/10/2024 00:06

Cem82 · 06/10/2024 23:18

The chemical sponge is terrifying that would really upset me!

My big list of hates (apparently I am a nag and nobody cares about these things but me):

My partner is a serious germaphobe (hands like sandpaper from constant washing every time he touches anything - his phone, a door handle etc) but when he does the dishes he doesn’t think to wipe the counters or clear up splashes on the tiles.
He takes out a new chopping board for every item and usually there are 3-5 of them to be washed before we even get to dinner one might have been for cheese for his sandwich, then a new one an hour later for my daughter’s sandwich and none of them washed or put away.
He doesn’t clean bathrooms - I think the not using chemicals and not tacking the dirty jobs feeds into his germaphobia and his fear of the effects of chemicals on his health - so if there’s the need to use oven cleaner it’s on me which is just lovely if he thinks it’s that dangerous!
He stacks the dishwasher in a mad haphazard way that leaves it half empty so I have to reshuffle it before it goes on.
He puts things like cheese graters away in a different place each time so I always have to search all the cupboards.
If he is unpacking shopping he puts the same food types scattered throughout the fridge - like cheddar on each shelf so several get accidentally opened and you have decaying strawberries at the back of the top shelf that you are not aware exist. He also never touches or throws out the decaying hidden food but will mention that “we” must throw it out. It is chaos. I plan on filling the fridge with little boxes with labels on them but I doubt that’ll work!
Laundry is the same tshirts go in with the trousers, pillow cases in the middle of towel bundles - if I question it he says I should draw a diagram of how I want things stored if I am that fussy and ocd! I recently got him to start pairing socks as he could never find his sock’s match and it has changed his life lol.
Oh hanging clothes on the clothes line is mad, he goes out and throws them all on the line with no pegs, he then goes around pegging them afterwards and retrieving all the ones that have fallen to the floor, he pegs them as they landed in the line, ie top half of dress over the bottom half so it’s not properly exposed to the sun and comes in partially wet in the middle - I tell him to peg from the end of things and get told “your way isn’t necessarily the only way of doing things”. This is actually progress, it took me about ten years of arguing about the necessity of pegs and loads of our towels blowing into the river before he started pegging things - I do sometimes go outside and find a wash unpegged and a sea of socks on the ground “but it wasn’t windy when I hung them out”.
taking socks off around the house and leaving them there for me to pick up (I throw them in his office)

We are both probably complete opposites in that regard - he doesn’t care about or notice small details and I like order! He has accidentally broken quite a few of my favourite things when putting away dishes or stacking things to dry as he does it without a care in the world. In the last two days I have lost a glass, a sentimental mug and a beautiful candle holder.

His dad is seriously organised, the house is show house clean and everything in his house has a particular place, is labelled, you can find everything - I love it, it is strange my partner grew up with that and is a chaos merchant. Incidentally his dad’s partner says she can not relax in his house as it is too organised and regimented for her tastes lol.

@Cem82

hed be under the patio by now!!

I'm single now, in someways it would be nice to have a DH/DP but I'm not sure I could cope anymore! There's one right way of doing things & it's mine!! 🤣🤣.

AutumnTimeForCosy24 · 07/10/2024 00:08

FoxtrotOscarKindaDay · 06/10/2024 23:40

I'm with you @Fluffyelephant but probably more extreme.
One sponge for dishes, different one for pots. Pet bowls have their own sponge too. Cloths for surfaces that go into the washing machine with other cloths and tea towels. Floor cloths and mop heads washed together.

Clothes are washed separately, lights, darks, whites. Bedding with bedding, towels with towels (not tea towels or pet towels) pet bedding on its own.

@FoxtrotOscarKindaDay

would you marry me? I'm straight, but willing to consider otherwise, for someone who is as fussy as me!!

TammyJones · 07/10/2024 00:19

I used kitchen roll on the worktops.
Sponge in the bowl
All the clothes / tea towels go in together - 40 wash.

Chucklit · 07/10/2024 00:48

A dish sponge for dishes and a dish cloth to wipe down kitchen sides at least five minutes after using anti bac spray?

Chucklit · 07/10/2024 00:52

Yes for tea towels and clothes going in together. The knickers get just as clean as the tea towels. Pet stuff gets a separate wash.

ItsAStupidQuestion · 07/10/2024 00:58

Washing up and piling the freshly washed stuff on top of dry things that just need putting away. Drives me insane!! Now everything is wet again FFS 🤬

WetBandits · 07/10/2024 00:59

Tea towels, knickers and socks all go in the wash together in this house as that is the whole point of the washing machine! It goes in dirty and comes out clean…

DP occasionally has to be reminded to button duvet covers before washing them, otherwise he’s pretty good.

suburberphobe · 07/10/2024 01:00

And I only have one kitchen sponge for dishes and worktops

Thank fuck I don't live with a man like that. or myself

NomorekittensSteve · 07/10/2024 01:06

Mine likes to leave empty packets of stuff in the fridge. Incredibly annoying when I want something & he had the last thing but didn't throw away the outer packaging!
Not sure if it's housekeeping but he leaves every single cupboard door open when he grabs something 😤
He will constantly leave empty plastic water bottles over the kitchen side and not crush them into our inside recycling bins.
Oh and tins of beans or spaghetti! He'll open them, use half then just leave the tin on the side. I think his record was 2 days because he just couldn't be arsed to sort it out 🤦🏼‍♀️

These things are so simple and take seconds to do but still doesn't get why they annoy me so much!

Gowlett · 07/10/2024 01:11

Using tea towels to clean the kitchen.
Hanging laundry with all of the sleeves / legs bunched up.
Pools of water on the draining board, making musty cups.
Can’t use kettle / toaster without spilling tea / crumbs.
Never uses a plate, can’t twist bottle tops back on…
Not aware of Domestos / toilet brush / toilet bowl aim.
Had to get rid of toilet brush, actually, because…

Gowlett · 07/10/2024 01:15

NomorekittensSteve, we also have the empty packets, rubbish left on the counter, and cupboard / wardrobe doors.

Also, getting clothes to wear off the drying rack every day instead of taking them all off once dry & putting them away.

TheCatterall · 07/10/2024 01:20

@Gowlett I’ve had experience laying patios if you need a hand. Just saying…

Hugmorecats · 07/10/2024 01:28

Mine wipes his face on the hand towel in the kitchen, which upsets me a little.

I might be a bit over the top with the washing up as I get a new cloth each time I do it and then put it in to be washed. But I have a dishwasher so I’m not washing up often.

mathanxiety · 07/10/2024 02:07

I wash everything together apart from towels, washcloths, and bedding, which go in a hotter wash.

I also have a dryer, so whatever isn't killed in the wash is nuked there.

I use a scrubbing brush for dishes, and then everything goes in the dishwasher. The sponges in the kitchen are only for cleaning the kitchen and I replace them frequently.

RickiRaccoon · 07/10/2024 04:44

We use a scrubber for the dishes so the cloth is exclusively for wiping down surfaces.
I'm a bit overwhelmed with kids at the moment so I'm extra sensitive:
My DH never cleans out the fridge (but then gets annoyed when I start throwing away old stuff like I should know he intended to use it). Also he sets half a tomato or onion in the fridge -- not in a container or even on a plate, just on the shelf.
He never cleans the oven despite being the one who loves roasts and so who almost exclusively makes it dirty.
He drops food on the floor and vaguely waves a cloth at it. Then once every few months proudly announces he's mopped the floor -- when I wipe it down daily with paper towels.

overindulged · 07/10/2024 04:51

His washing hanging out skills are shocking - doesn't line up seams, leaves sleeves tucked in, hangs tops by the cuffs etc.

When he unloads the dishwasher he stacks large and small plates/dishes in the same pile in the cupboard, and chucks the cutlery in the drawer in a haphazard fashion.

Using the washing up sponge to wipe surfaces is fine as long as it's washed out with hot soapy water!

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 07/10/2024 05:20

@Fluffyelephant dog bedding - launderette!!!! not putting that in my washing machine! dishtowels should be boiled so how can they go in with underwear and all other washing? bedding should also be boiled so that cannot be mixed either! j cloth for bathrooms, sink, bath, toilet then bin!! I have a dishwasher so only have a cloth for washing down worktops and a glasscloth for drying and polishing it.

mathanxiety · 07/10/2024 06:03

What are you doing with your dish towels and bedding that makes them need boiling?

overindulged · 07/10/2024 06:06

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 07/10/2024 05:20

@Fluffyelephant dog bedding - launderette!!!! not putting that in my washing machine! dishtowels should be boiled so how can they go in with underwear and all other washing? bedding should also be boiled so that cannot be mixed either! j cloth for bathrooms, sink, bath, toilet then bin!! I have a dishwasher so only have a cloth for washing down worktops and a glasscloth for drying and polishing it.

You can get laundry bags for dog bedding that contain the hair...they are very effective.

PotatoBreadForTheWin · 07/10/2024 06:14

Elderberrier · 06/10/2024 22:45

I’m with the ‘tea towels are ok washed with knickers’ crowd. My DH does various household things that grate but one is not understanding which foods need to go in fridge or not. I find opened jars of pesto or mayo going foosty in the cupboard then things like cake put in the fridge.

Another is him being obsessed with having clear work surfaces but giving no fucks about a floor covered in crumbs and detritus.

I think we are married to the same man. Selective vision

Plus the number of times he's put the shopping away and not put frozen stuff in the freezer is rage inducing

NellietheNumpty · 07/10/2024 06:18

‘Washed’ a large wool rug with the power washer!

Original poster

Fluffyelephant · 07/10/2024 06:29

I love that we’ve found a space to vent! Hope this thread hasn’t led to any divorces though! 😂

it’s eye opening to see the different things that bother or don’t bother different people. I’m certainly no perfect housewife btw, and guilty of some of the things that have come up!

With the washing up / cleaning sponge thing, it’s reassuring in a way to know that I’m probably in the minority by being bothered by it. I should flag though, although I don’t like the dishes sponge being used on the counter my main horror was from it being heavily sprayed with the cleaning chemicals we use on the hob etc. I’m not totally convinced it’s good for you to then have those chemicals rubbed onto your plates and cutlery… or that it would all completely wash out with a quick rinse under the tap..

OP posts:

Original poster

Fluffyelephant · 07/10/2024 06:32

Cem82 · 06/10/2024 23:18

The chemical sponge is terrifying that would really upset me!

My big list of hates (apparently I am a nag and nobody cares about these things but me):

My partner is a serious germaphobe (hands like sandpaper from constant washing every time he touches anything - his phone, a door handle etc) but when he does the dishes he doesn’t think to wipe the counters or clear up splashes on the tiles.
He takes out a new chopping board for every item and usually there are 3-5 of them to be washed before we even get to dinner one might have been for cheese for his sandwich, then a new one an hour later for my daughter’s sandwich and none of them washed or put away.
He doesn’t clean bathrooms - I think the not using chemicals and not tacking the dirty jobs feeds into his germaphobia and his fear of the effects of chemicals on his health - so if there’s the need to use oven cleaner it’s on me which is just lovely if he thinks it’s that dangerous!
He stacks the dishwasher in a mad haphazard way that leaves it half empty so I have to reshuffle it before it goes on.
He puts things like cheese graters away in a different place each time so I always have to search all the cupboards.
If he is unpacking shopping he puts the same food types scattered throughout the fridge - like cheddar on each shelf so several get accidentally opened and you have decaying strawberries at the back of the top shelf that you are not aware exist. He also never touches or throws out the decaying hidden food but will mention that “we” must throw it out. It is chaos. I plan on filling the fridge with little boxes with labels on them but I doubt that’ll work!
Laundry is the same tshirts go in with the trousers, pillow cases in the middle of towel bundles - if I question it he says I should draw a diagram of how I want things stored if I am that fussy and ocd! I recently got him to start pairing socks as he could never find his sock’s match and it has changed his life lol.
Oh hanging clothes on the clothes line is mad, he goes out and throws them all on the line with no pegs, he then goes around pegging them afterwards and retrieving all the ones that have fallen to the floor, he pegs them as they landed in the line, ie top half of dress over the bottom half so it’s not properly exposed to the sun and comes in partially wet in the middle - I tell him to peg from the end of things and get told “your way isn’t necessarily the only way of doing things”. This is actually progress, it took me about ten years of arguing about the necessity of pegs and loads of our towels blowing into the river before he started pegging things - I do sometimes go outside and find a wash unpegged and a sea of socks on the ground “but it wasn’t windy when I hung them out”.
taking socks off around the house and leaving them there for me to pick up (I throw them in his office)

We are both probably complete opposites in that regard - he doesn’t care about or notice small details and I like order! He has accidentally broken quite a few of my favourite things when putting away dishes or stacking things to dry as he does it without a care in the world. In the last two days I have lost a glass, a sentimental mug and a beautiful candle holder.

His dad is seriously organised, the house is show house clean and everything in his house has a particular place, is labelled, you can find everything - I love it, it is strange my partner grew up with that and is a chaos merchant. Incidentally his dad’s partner says she can not relax in his house as it is too organised and regimented for her tastes lol.

This is a great list!

The “we” part really made me laugh.. my DP does that too. If it’s playing on your mind so much just sort it out yourself!

OP posts:

BG2015 · 07/10/2024 06:45

My DP rinses cups etc instead of washing them with hot water and washing up liquid. I hate it.

I often re wash things when he's left the room.

Peonies12 · 07/10/2024 06:47

RollerSkateLikePeggy · 06/10/2024 21:54

I will happily use the same sponge for cleaning the kitchen. Just rinse it out? And washing everything together wouldn't bother me, apart from not wanting dog hairs to get onto other clothes.

This! You’re being OTT. And maybe reconsider your cleaning products; you don’t need those chemical laden sprays, they’re so bad for your health. I only use hot water and washing up liquid; and sometimes white vinegar, and our house is very clean. And we’re never ill