Filthy house… I need advice/help

[Zombieof3]

Hi everyone!

I am a mum of three kids aged 7, 8 and 12, I have a SO who works long hours and is very rarely home and when he is home, he’s too exhausted to do much.

I’ve not long woken up and I already feel overwhelmed. My house looks and feels absolutely filthy. The carpet needs a good clean, all I can smell is the cat litter box which is cleaned regularly but still absolutely stinks. The kitchen is a bomb site. There is bags of dirty clothes everywhere waiting to go in the wash, there are flies and dishes everywhere. The floors need a good scrub.

thankfully it is mainly downstairs, I just don’t know where to start. It’s honestly a health hazard and I’m just going to have to get on with doing it but it’s burning me out all the time as I work forty hours a week, and every single weekend the house is in a tip from things building up in the week, I only have so much time and I feel like every waking minute is spent on cleaning this shithold. Sorry for the language.

Have you got a dish washer? Game changer.
Apparently neurodiverse folks struggle with cleaning and tidying and there are sites that advise with this.
Yes little and often. Does your mum live nearby? She maybe only too willing to help if asked.

Thanks all!
i did have twelve bags of CLEAN clothes, i work forty hours a week, i have three children one who is sad and requires all of my attnetion. I come home I cook, bath the kids, bath myself, try and do a little bit of tidying (depends on pain levels) and then im in bed. It did take me an hour and a half but then again you didn’t see my kitchen and how much work wad needed to be done before i actually got down to cleaning and that i had to feed my kids in the meanwhile. I admit that i should be keeping up on all of this but living with pain, working 40 hours, three kids it does get left behind sometimes.

my mum cant help as she is on oxygen and very poorly, my sister usually helps if it gets like this but she isnt in a great place right now either.

im quite happy with the progress i made today, its not perfect but its a lot better and its all because you guys helped. Thank you again, youre wonderful human beings, thank you for not judging me x

That’s meant to say “asd” not sad 😂

I struggle with cleaning as well. I've made a rule that every time I go in the kitchen I have to do at least one thing, even if that's just wiping down a worktop. It really helps

It sounds like you do a lot. You should be proud of yourself.

Thank you for starting the thread. It makes me feel less guilty about my own place. And I feel some motivation coming on to make a start on my own kitchen. You should see my pile of washing up! Hopefully if my hands aren't too bad later, I can get a bit done. They tend to be better in the late evening.

Your doing great. I'm glad you feel happy with what you have done. Life can be busy and more complicated than people think. I have been in a simlar situation and have had good support on mn . One of the most helpful things was to do a bit at a time or set yours self a timer and see what you can get done during that time. People just being generally positive is lovely to. It spurs you on and you actually start feeling good about what you have done .

Imo a massive declutter is a must for keeping on top of cleaning . Little bite size chunks and it'll be less overwhelming.

OP I could have written something very similar today home is a mess, done a few things today so feel slightly better about it. I’m determined to fill a bag everyday and get rid once and for all.

Ignore the previous poster. Bags of clean laundry wouldn't be a priority for me either. I'd rather have washing that needed to be put away than dirty sides in my kitchen. It sounds like you've made good progress. Definitely have a look into flylady as the threads might help keep you motivated.

I’m sorry I upset you op.

I battle squalor and pain so I feel for yo u. Never leave a room with empty hands is my mantra. Start small ,fill the kettle and do as much as you can until it boils. Make an instant coffee or cup of tea. Plot the next move. I played Griegs Wedding Dance as it’s impossible not to jig around and the pain specialist told me never to stand still! And it makes me think of pristine Norwegian houses and white snow. Then put a timer on for 15 minutes and see how much you can do in 15 minute bursts. Keep boiling the kettle to wash surfaces. Congratulate yourself on every success.

I've found my people! I've been known to stick on the Can Can to get me moving.

This thread has helped me clear some clutter that has been bothering me for a while. I've taken a load of recycling out. I've also put a load of laundry on. My hands are hurting now so I've had to stop but I've got a good space clear now. Hopefully I can hoover it later once the washing machine has finished.

Not bad for someone who was in the back of an ambulance a few days ago!

I love the organised mum, I pay a couple of £ a month. I use her guided cleans all the time. They are a total game changer. Progress not perfection, you will get there.

How to Keep House While Drowning completely changed my mindset on housework/my home.

Also, Amazon sell litter tray liners which are robust and have made changing the litter so much easier. Also I recommend buying the best quality litter you can afford, it makes all the difference. Plus a good de-odourising spray is a must for a quick spritz up into the air around the litter tray. I get really paranoid my house smells of litter and I’m nose blind to it.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B0B5DBPSCB?psc=1&ref=ppx_pop_mob_b_asin_title

www.amazon.co.uk/HG-Eliminator-Furnishings-Neutraliser-Deodoriser/dp/B000IU3W8Y/ref=mp_s_a_1_11?crid=UAQUTH7MC7OK&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.d2RlAooVcgwk5hs3NQkLmzgWG_MAH4M-PVd6IzWcOH0PXvU3iTyCqPUwQgRUqKRQPGKuX7FsExtW-5y251vDbJkRDo8v2YcBbIAdTJctoYFEEWgzmqdMa8OFcCF4BBHQIIV1erBcFjp0oJf59v5NbUjXIMrcOGNI-yNNEKEDk8POGDN_KJrFNvBl_cbDL9eGa3PQs48i9XoHXz0AtjIiLg.f939owZag96L-MXh0OrDC5JO5Tk6bmLt-kYLotgpalo&dib_tag=se&keywords=odor+neutralizer&qid=1725875848&sprefix=ofour+ne%2Caps%2C78&sr=8-11

You have to spend couple of hours of just throwing things out. Honestly. Then take everything out of a corner, clean it and put the objects back on there - shelves with books or decorations; kitchen top with few pieces on there. And do that in each room. Take pictures and on cleaning day try to bring it back to the new set up

I have a french dresser and it was full with my daughter's last year papers, notebooks, craft projects and craft packs. I kept only one notebook, the not opened craft packs and thew the whole other lot out, today. Did it today. Wiped that surface and re-arranged the craft packs. Had a corner with painkillers and odd bits of cosmetics on top of a bedroom furniture. Did the same. Have many more corners to do. Our house is small, so corners of rooms play roles

If you bleach litter tray the car probably won't use it anymore they have much more sensitive noses than we do. Sunshine is good if we ever see it again!

You're doing amazing @Zombieof3
Its bloody hard work.
It doesn't come naturally to me, I have no excuse as just me and one adult child.
I just can't motivate myself to do it.
I work full time plus two evenings a week.
On the evenings I am not working I come home and crochet!
This thread has helped me realise short bursts will help me.

Thank you so much everyone. It’s definitely throughout the week that it builds up, probably where I’m so exhausted after cooking and then dealing with the kids I’ve just left it. I’m trying to keep it my goal to at least put one load in dishwasher in the evening and to clean the sides. Even if it is the only thing I do, it’s better than nothing. I really appreciate the support from you all, I was expecting a lot of people to tell me how gross and awful I am but you have all been lovely and cheered me up so much xx