A question for those of you who have had experience of a really untidy or unclean house who now follow Flylady or TOMM or similar?

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I would appreciate an honest answer please!

Do these little and often systems work if your house has really got badly out of control and is mucky and bordering on hoarder levels in some areas?

In other words, if you tackle the master bedroom for thirty minutes on a Tuesday or whenever, and just do that limited amount of cleaning in that specific area at that time ONLY once a week or whatever, will it eventually come right or will the mess in the interim take over again?

Or do you have to do a massive home re-set and start with a clean slate for these systems to really work?

Also, is it true you can declutter a massive house 15 minutes at a time?

Thank you.

They work, but if you recognise that it will take time and don't expect instant results. I loosely follow Flylady and A Slob Comes Clean which are essentially, building habits, and being aware of what comes into your house as well as getting rid of stuff. A Slob Comes Clean was more accessible to me personally, as she says to start with the visible areas and just keep going. I didn't start with a deep clean/ reset, but after a year or so my house is visibly less cluttered- still lots of stuff around and its hard to keep on top of things, but it definietly helps.

I haven’t tried TOMM but Flylady works because it focusses on decluttering, small steps and building habits. It takes time, but your attitudes gradually change. You can declutter 15 mins at a time but you need to keep doing it and be mindful about what you are bringing back in, it’s very easy to fall into the trap of thinking “ooh, I’ve got room for such and such now”.

Thanks for replies.

OK that sounds hopeful. I want to start afresh this year. Things have got so bad for quite a few different reasons that home is a stressful place to live in atm.

I know consistency is key. And I’m trying not to buy anything in ‘24 except for essentials.

Which is the easiest one to access and follow.

Every year I endup doing a mad tidy up for New Year or when we have visitors it absolutely does my head in that the house seems to be a permanent riot.

I do TOMM. I came across Flylady first but her way just doesn't work for me.
And she made me cross with her insistence on getting "dressed to lace up shoes" , I'm not wearing lace up shoes to go out let alone clean my house - it's an odd priority to have.
It was years ago though she might have loosened up with that rule though.

That rule is still there on Flylady, but you don't have to do it, I don't. You can dip in and out and it all comes round again the next month so you are never behind. The website is old fashioned, there's an app now, or there's a long running thread where links get posted to the day's tasks.

It's TOMM's Rock the Housework/ TOM Rocks that's clicked with me. They're podcasts of guided cleans in varying amounts of time.

I had a room of doom that had not been tamed in the previous 10 years, but by tackling it in bouts of 30 mins to declutter, and gently being talked through, it was mastered. Everything now has a place and a container, and I can get the room tidy easily.

The rest of the house can be dealt with in 30-60 mins for a multi-room session, or 5-15 mins per room. If certain surfaces are becoming hot spots, I can put on 15 min cleans and get back on top of them.

I no longer end up in cycles of burn out and rage/ emergency cleaning. I'm not constantly tidy, but since the guided cleans launched in 2022, it's become managable and simple to rectify when things slip.

After decades of being scolded/ moaned at for being messy, it's so refreshing hearing things like "it's only mess" and acceptance that it will be undone; it's not me being a failiure like it always had been before.

I found some of the flylady stuff a bit odd too, like the getting dressed to lace up shoes as mentioned upthread - it just felt like it was possibly aimed to some degree at people who were struggling with more than just getting around to all the cleaning. I also found some of the religious language offputting. My house doesn't need any blessing.

For the most part, I combine TOMM and Tody. I find Gemma quite charming and good company so I like doing her routines now and again, but Tody is good for a regular schedule of tasks to complete and my DD loves ticking her jobs off and checking whether we're winning against Dusty this month.

I like the podcast and books by Dana k White aka A slob comes clean. I find listening to it while cleaning/ tidying really helpful.

And something that has become apparent to me- quite a few of these bloggers are un/diagnosed ADHDers.
Not team TOMM she's the opposite and developed her system to counteract cleaning too much.

Flylady and slob lady are, and I think it gives an interesting perspective. The things that folk who have messy houses struggle with - there are massive parallels ie overwhelm & ability to do nothing. Inability to get started. Etc etc.

Everything I have put in place to accommodate adhd problems has improved my house!

15 mins in the kitchen, just start and making lists, listening to a podcast. All these add up to a slowly improving house. Stick at it.

But you might find that what most folk find helpful might not work. This may not be the case for you. But it's worth mentioning.

Thank you very much for all of these insights in to the different systems. It’s very interesting to read about them and helpful to know their strengths and weaknesses.

I don’t think my op was very clear though. What I was really asking was, once your home has got massively out of whack,

is it necessary to do a massive boot camp clean first and get back on track and THEN start a weekly system like TOMM or Flylady?

OR is it possible, or even better, to just start the weekly routines and will everything come right eventually if you keep at it?

Either. I think if you are consistent doing small amounts every day you will eventually get there.

Tomm has a bootcamp that you can do, before you start the programme itself. I'd probably advise this, although you can combine it with a bit of the level one jobs.

I honestly find the method and the talk throughs so helpful.

No you can follow TOMM and it will get better but slowly.

If you have an extra 30 mins a week to spend on decluttering it will get there twice as fast.

You don’t have to follow the focus Friday room rotation. You can just stay in one room on Fridays for a few weeks/months until you can get on top of it.

Also you can change the days around to whatever works for you.

Thank you. The reason I ask is that I have been following a mixture of Flylady and TOMM and although I’ve been fairly consistent, the residual clutter seems to set me back before the next week’s clean ifyswim. A bit like when you are on a diet and lose the same 5 kgs over and over again. I am treading water.

I can keep on top of every day tasks like laundry and cooking and cleaning kitchen and bathroom, but I never get to the decluttering bit. And the clutter is building all the time.

Maybe I am doing it all wrong?

I spent a couple of months at the start of last year decluttering my kitchen this way. I did about 45 mins decluttering my kitchen cupboards yesterday when the kids were playing at the table and most of the cupboards have been done. I tend to over buy food.

Cooking and cleaning the kitchen is so much easier have I sorted it last year.

Over 49 years ago my ndn cleaned one room a day from Monday to Friday.
Her house was always clean.

Have you been doing 30 mins focus Friday every week? Is there too much stuff coming into your house? Decluttering is 50% getting rid of things and 50% stopping some coming into your house.

I think FlyLady specifically mentions you DON'T do a massive clean-up, as she feels that's what got us into a mess in the first place!

Those massive clean-up jobs are exhausting and if you are anything like me you will feel you've done enough for a while and slowly the house gets in a mess again.

It's a bit like crash dieting, ending up starving, and then treating yourself to too many goodies to make up for your deprivation. You've learned nothing about healthy eating and balance.

FlyLady is all about building habits and sticking with them.

Us messies tend to be all or nothing people!

I think there’s too much coming in. There’s four adults the house, three of whom have an Amazon Prime account!

I must admit I have never quite understood TOMM’s Friday focus. I do declutter every Friday but the location is a bit random. I don’t have the TOMM book, just work off the website.

No bootcamp here, it puts me off getting started. I have the Fly lady app but don't really follow it. I like the positivity and getting over the negative self talk and I can get motivated for the 15 minutes then carry on for a while afterwards so it is making a difference for me.

residual clutter seems to set me back before the next week’s clean ifyswim.

Do you mean clutter as in everyday things not put away?

Or do you mean clutter as in loads of stuff, not used, maybe broken, without a place to be stored?

As a start, I'd ask that everyone keeps their own clutter in their own rooms so that the main living areas aren't all cluttered up.

Thank you this makes a lot of sense.

I would love to pay someone to come in and do a big clean but I am watching the pennies and there’s too much clutter to properly benefit from it atm.

I got a lot of of flylady. The getting dressed right down to shoes became the rule in our house. I've drilled in to the kids they arnt ready unless they have shoes on and coat and they are by the door. That's helped a lot. I think it's about tackling activity barriers and not doing the least amount.

I like the self care elements in flylady too like get a nice bottle and drink your water. I think she is very caring.

All of them have a similar principle but Dana k white videos about house layout are quite interesting. She's also very normal.

I hear you! I've been there!

FlyLady (and I'm sure others) talk about trying to get the family on board. FlyLady's approach is hoping that they will notice the difference and start doing their bit. I don't know what your adults are like and what you can get them to do. She is right in that you can't force people.

But I think you could start by requesting that all their bits and pieces stay in their OWN spaces and not the living room, for instance. I think that's reasonable and doable.

Gain control of the living room as a starting point!