Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Housekeeping

Find cleaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Housekeeping forum.

Original poster

Why does my house always seem untidy?

48 replies

mugcup · 31/08/2022 20:17

I have these wonderful friends that always have loveky tidy homes. No matter when I'm in their houses every thing seems put together and organised. I feel like I'm always chasing my tail doing things yet the day someone calls there's things not put away or the rug needs hoovered or there's a bag from B&M with contents scattered over the kitchen table- do you know what I mean? I feel people would describe my home as lovely decor but a bit untidy. What is the secret?

OP posts:
PermanentTemporary · 31/08/2022 20:22

I'm a recovering untidy person...

I would say that although decluttering is talked about like it's magic these days, which it isn't, it definitely makes a difference. The less stuff you have and the more intelligent the storage you have, the easier it gets. If the cupboard you want to put something into is behind a settee and too full with a broken handle, you're not going to put that thing away quickly and it will sit around.

If you use something and then put it away, thats two jobs. If you use something, put it down in the wrong place and then put it away, thats 3 jobs.

Aquamarine1029 · 31/08/2022 20:24

You have too much stuff and most of it you barely touch, use or think about. Decluttering can change your life. Be brutal and get rid.

UtterlyUnimaginativeUsername · 31/08/2022 20:57

My problem is that I'm the only one who puts things away. Everyone else just puts them down.

Come home with the shopping? Put the bags on the kitchen floor and that's it.

Finished with a wet towel? Drop it on the floor.

Finished a game or activity? Walk away.

I can't seem to make people see that the job isn't finished until you've cleaned up after it.

PizzaPatel · 31/08/2022 20:59

Probably because you go to b&m! I’ve had to kick the habit because it’s impossible to leave without having bought three packets of biscuits, a cushion, some water pistols and a candle, none of which were what you were after…

BertieBotts · 31/08/2022 21:05

I think some of what you describe is just the difference between someone's tidied-for-visitors house vs a real everyday nobody is coming kind of house.

Other than that I think it's just a personality thing - you are either minded to put things away immediately and hoover before anywhere looks like it needs it, or you're not. You can probably learn to be the latter, I expect.

BertieBotts · 31/08/2022 21:07

I do like the podcasts called A Slob Comes Clean where she talks about changing her mindset so that she is more naturally tidy, but even in her latest videos etc her house looks more like what you describe than perfect.

Maybe it's just making peace with it.

Original poster
mugcup · 31/08/2022 21:09

@UtterlyUnimaginativeUsername this!!!!!! You have absolutely described my family! My DH is a disaster for "putting things down" I'm always shouting about that. He opens a letter, envelope chucked at arse. Takes of shoes, flung at his hole. Takes of suit, walks past it on the floor!!!! I reckon living alone would be a dream

OP posts:
Rtmhwales · 31/08/2022 21:09

UtterlyUnimaginativeUsername · 31/08/2022 20:57

My problem is that I'm the only one who puts things away. Everyone else just puts them down.

Come home with the shopping? Put the bags on the kitchen floor and that's it.

Finished with a wet towel? Drop it on the floor.

Finished a game or activity? Walk away.

I can't seem to make people see that the job isn't finished until you've cleaned up after it.

This is the story of my life.

That and I find just having too much stuff in general. I'm really starting to minimize possessions and finding the house stays tidier as an obvious result.

Jellybean23 · 31/08/2022 21:18

The secret of a tidy home is

  1. have a proper home for everything (that proper home being somewhere behind a door , not on view).
  2. persist in gathering up items that need putting away every time you are leaving a room and drop them off in the right room.

If the family leave it all to you, put their stuff in a bin bag and put it somewhere awkward to retrieve or inconvenient, eg under their bed or in the garage. All jumbled up.
3) De clutter when you no longer need something, don't hang on to it.

ScamelaAnderson · 31/08/2022 21:19

Simple. You have too much stuff for the size of house

It's really this easy

Housenoob · 31/08/2022 21:22

It's probably because certain things don't have a set place. We've just moved house- in my old house despite it being smaller everything had a set place that was easily accessible so tidying up was so quick and easy. Our new place is much bigger but we've chucked some old drawers and shelves etc away plus we haven't quite decided where everything should go. Hence a lot of stuff ends up strewn on the kitchen table.

What I've never been able to get the hang of is... What does everyone do with their post?! I chuck the envelopes in the recycling straight away but there's always letters that need keeping for a bit with something to action that will be forgotten about if I file them away. So again they end up just lying around looking messy. I can't find any stylish solution for this, I don't want some ugly office style in-tray cluttering up the kitchen! And we don't have an office yet either.

YellowPlumbob · 31/08/2022 21:32

I recently got rid of 80% of our stuff - furniture included - due to a very long distance move. Couldn’t have been more ruthless if I tried and it was difficult as I have ADHD. The focus it required was super human.

I’m still in the process of unpacking. So it looks like chaos here. But. I have a space for everything, I measured up all the strange built in cupboards (listed cottage) and bought plastic boxes that fit the spaces exactly, and smaller ones that stack inside.

Still figuring out what belongs where; one thing I’m enjoying is that there is SPACE in every room. No wall to wall Kallax (just the one 4x4, half of which is Lego, the other half DCs books).

Now, when someone drops something on the floor in a room that’s done, I spot it immediately and them return to the scene of the crime and fix it. (3DCs, two teens, 6YO, I’m single). Ruthless with it I am.

ohdearnotme · 31/08/2022 21:34

Sounds ridiculously over simplified I know, but once we decluttered and sorted out some better storage we realised we weren't actually as lazy as we thought - just that drawers were full so stuff got put on the side/over chairs or things didn't have homes - (where do water pistols go?) Once we established a home for EVERYTHING the place stays tidier (a bit).

user1471523870 · 31/08/2022 21:36

I think the secret is continuous tidying rather than leave the items there until having time/energies to put them away all together. Everyone has a different technique i.e. never leave the room empty handed, but bottom line is that it has to be done no stop for the house to be guest-ready every moment. After a while it becomes normal.

Tintackedsea · 31/08/2022 21:49

Och, who cares? I would hate to live in some pristine box, freaking out every time anyone moved. Houses are for living in not for taking photos of.

SierraSapphire · 31/08/2022 21:52

I feel like this about our house but DD said she liked it more than very tidy places because it felt "homely". It was a bit better when we had a cleaner as we had to tidy up at least weekly for her.

Aposterhasnoname · 31/08/2022 21:53

For me the miracle occurred when I got a robot vac. Coming home to clean floors just made everything look tidier, and gave me the push I needed to keep on top of everything else.

Minniem2020 · 31/08/2022 22:01

I've literally just said to DP that there's always stuff everywhere. I clean every day,as in, hoover, polish, clean bathroom,surfaces etc but there's just always stuff that shouldn't be there. Toys not in the basket, post lying around, shoes lying in front and on top of the shoe cupboard, I despair.

pipwoes · 31/08/2022 22:05

My DH has just had a mega rant about this. He spent hours tidying up but it's messy again. He will not accept we all need to muck in every day to keep on top of it. We are naturally messy but clean. Stuff not having a home is our big issue.

JorisBonson · 31/08/2022 22:07

As PP says, everything needs to have a home. I also invested in some good decorative boxes / hampers which are great for just shoving stuff in.

I'm an inherently messy person and have spent a long time training myself to keep the mess at bay!

LifeAintEasy · 31/08/2022 22:16

I find this so difficult to deal with too.

3 DC, eldest is 6 and has always left a trail of total destruction behind him since the day he could commando crawl. 4yo is in her own world and would look at you blankly if you asked her to put her things away. Baby is at the stage of emptying cupboards, mashing cat food into carpets and giggling manically.

DH is a lost cause. Doesn't see his own mess at all. Hoarder mentality. Thinks he is tidy and it's everyone else. Doesn't really contribute much in terms of housework. Thinks things are done by magic and that having a cleaner once a week absolves him of any responsibility.

We have far too much stuff but it is hard to get rid as the kids are small and do play with the toys, read books, do jigsaws wear clothes, wellies, sun hats, snowsuits, ride bikes, need a buggy with a rain cover, sun cover etc etc.

I'm waiting for the day my kids are grown up and DH has buggered off and I can have peace and tidiness.

SierraSapphire · 31/08/2022 22:18

I did once say to about 11 year old DD "I'm always tidying up but the place doesn't seem to get any tidier" and her reply was "Don't bother then" which I thought had a certain logic to it. She's off to uni soon and I am looking forward to things feeling more under my control.

CrystalCoco · 31/08/2022 22:29

It's continual tidying, relentless continual f'ing tidying, take your eye off the ball for one second and bouff instant mess

Can you tell I'm not a naturally tidy person 😅

LadyCluck · 31/08/2022 22:34

UtterlyUnimaginativeUsername · 31/08/2022 20:57

My problem is that I'm the only one who puts things away. Everyone else just puts them down.

Come home with the shopping? Put the bags on the kitchen floor and that's it.

Finished with a wet towel? Drop it on the floor.

Finished a game or activity? Walk away.

I can't seem to make people see that the job isn't finished until you've cleaned up after it.

Yep. Sounds just like my house.
It is so disheartening.

UserError012345 · 31/08/2022 22:38

Do you have kids ? That'll be why!