Housewives/husbands... How do you fill your day?

[Cantcook842]

Morning. I have been a sahm for 7 years. First 4 year's were fine as I was looking after my young children. For the last 3 years my children are all at school now so I am a housewife. I love it and hate it in equal measure.

If you are a housewife/husband, what do your days and your week consist of?

My mum was a housewife my whole life, my dad also retired for most of it. So firstly they had each other. But they always had a routine each week. A shopping day. A day out. Seeing relatives say. A cleaning day. A gardening day. etc. It worked well for them.

I am all of a drift. I have no routine at all. I take my children to school and then I am basically waiting /counting down the 6 hours until I can go back and get them. I am on my own for the duration of that time. I do not have other people to go out anywhere with. I enjoy going out, but it's not fun on your own. If I go somewhere it's a quick dart around and then home again.

I clean the house ( but who wants to do that for 6 hours a day), I watch TV and I read. That's it all day every day. My mother in law has sat in her chair and watched cookery programmes all day every day for the 20 years I've known her. I don't want to be like that. I'm only in my 30s.

I have mobility issues so cannot do any gardening or heavy lifting. We dont have a lot of money so I can't go out spending lots of cash. I'm just existing.

I stopped working soon after meeting my now DH, before we had DC.

My days were always busy!

-Took the dog for long walks
-Redecorated the house on my own by learning how to do it watching YouTube videos
-volunteered at a local charity 1 day a week

• kept on top of all laundry/cooking/housekeeping
• went to museums, exhibitions, shopping (even if just window shopping)
• met friends for coffee or lunch if they had days off in the week from work

I'm a mum now but during my free time when DC are at kindergarten, I still enjoy walking the dog, going to the gym, keeping on top of life/family admin, meeting other mums for coffee.

You're only as busy as you allow yourself OP. Put yourself out there! Do you have any mum friends?

I was a sahm for 12 years in total, four of those years were after my youngest started school and I was never bored!

I walked the dog, met friends for lunch or coffee. Did some volunteering, joined the pta. Took up a couple of new hobbies. It was amazing!

I couldn’t be at home all day every day, I would go mad. I only work 2 days though and have one school age child, a DH who WFH and does his share and a cleaner.
My days off I:
Volunteer at a Covid vaccine clinic
Do a Pilates class
Meet a friend for a walk
Batch cook/ cook dinners and FP packed lunches
Wash and iron
Tidy and sell stuff
Visit my parents who are in their 70s
Shop!
Rest

Volunteer
Join the gym
Go to exercise classes
Craft
Run
Walk
Learn a language
Attend a college course
Bake

I WFH, but do have a lot of down time. I do yoga, gym classes, craft, bake etc in my free time.

What do you like doing? Can you make a project if it? Art, writing – you could write a crime novel using your degree knowledge – music…?

Get a job.

What about volunteering with HomeStart or helping to run a local playgroup?

I’m a SAHM to reception aged DC and I’m
Enjoying the peace at the moment but I’m starting to look for volunteer opportunities.

@Mojoj thanks for your comment as I put in my second update, my husband as 70% worldwide travel with work and we have no childcare options so I'm not able to work during the day

Get a job?

OP, have any of the hundreds of suggestions in this thread sparked your interest?

Thank you for all of the comments. Lots of good suggestions.

Basically I have lost myself. And my sense of self. I have been a mother to multiple children for 11 years and focused on nothing but that. I have no hobbies or interests of my own because I stopped doing everything for myself when I had kids. Now I don't know what I want or like.

I love history. I would love to go to some museums etc but I feel silly walking around by myself! How do I get over that?

I got very bored so got a job , it took me a year but I have a flexible fun job now. I had loads of friends who i coffee's with but it's get old after 7 years!

Don't call centres have people working from home these days?

"I love history. I would love to go to some museums etc but I feel silly walking around by myself! How do I get over that?"

Feel the fear and do it anyway! The first time will be the most daunting, after that you'll probably love it. Bring a book and go and sit in the cafe with a coffee and enjoy people watching. History is a brilliant interest as there are loads of voluntary groups that you could get involved with - but just start with one baby step. Find a local museum you fancy going to and decide which day you'll go. Pack your bag and get your clothes ready the night before and go straight after dropping the kids from school - don't go home or you might talk yourself out of it. Once you've done that, you can build up to doing something every week. You could have a particular day that's History Day. Have fun with it!

Volunteering can help build your confidence why don’t you contact your local volunteer centre. They will match you up to something that works for you and you can just start by giving a small amount of your time. If you don’t enjoy it there is no commitment to keep going!

we have no childcare options so I'm not able to work during the day

Are there no childminders or nurseries / after school clubs your way?

I don't understand why you can't work in the day?

Lots of us with children do!
We find jobs in school hours/WFH jobs and/or use childminders etc.

I was made redundant when my children were just starting school. I hated being at home in the day, and was adrift, so I started freelancing using a site that didn't pay particularly well, but it gave me some money and confidence. I then applied for a number of jobscand eventually found a job around school hours and have been there 8 years now.

You are a young woman. Don't compare yourself to retired people as that is a different situation

Why can't you work.? Lots of jobs in schools that fit around children and you have all the holidays off

I work Monday 9-2 and Tuesday 9-2 in a school

The rest of the week I feel my time sorting house and running and cycling to keep fit

You could do a long walk each day to help with mobility issues and get a part time job in a school

Dinner lady for instance is 10 - 2 , 5 days a week in our school

Perfect hours for a parent needing to do school drop off and collection

[quote Cantcook842]@Mojoj thanks for your comment as I put in my second update, my husband as 70% worldwide travel with work and we have no childcare options so I'm not able to work during the day[/quote]
My husband is only home 6 weeks this whole year and I manage to work and we have zero help

Lots of jobs in schools fit perfectly with kids

Why don’t you volunteer at all these activities that your children do ?

Schools need parent helpers, PTAs need people to fund raise, Brownies / Scouts / sports clubs always need parent volunteers.

Many sports centres have activities /classes for people with mobility issues.

There’s so many useful suggestions on this thread - are you going to try some of these today ?

You definitely can work during the day. Start with the school your children go to. They'll likely have lunchtime controller roles and may also have part time TA jobs - I know I'm out school they often have part time e.g. mornings only roles. So no need for childcare. In the event of sickness then you have to call in sick. You can't not get a job on the basis that your children might get sick when your husband is away. Try volunteering through the school and on the PTA. You have lots of time on your hands and most PTAs are crying out for help.

I was a SAHM for 12 years and rarely 'stayed at home all day', I had endless volunteering roles - I now work in an environment with lots of volunteers and I would really encourage you to find some sort of volunteer work, many will have training and courses that you can do (if you want to) to help with personal development.

And just get out and visit museum, art galleries etc on your own, I much prefer doing things like that on my own rather than having to compromise with someone else about what you do.

I couldn’t work (visa) and was flat out!
Take dc to school, stay 2/3 times a week for reader/ canteen duty. That was an unusual system though, a school where there were regularly half a dozen parent helpers.
1:1 language tuition for a esol charity.
Pensioners cinema £5 for film and a cup of tea and a biscuit!
On days I wasn’t staying at school I’d go home via the gym or food shopping.
No gardening because we didn’t have a garden. Minimal housework!
Do you have friends at school @Cantcook842? Most of the activities I did were via school friends. If you don’t, make it a priority to find some- baby steps that you’ll chat to a person a week if you currently don’t. You sound lonely.

I agree it would be very hard for the op to work. If your dh isn't around to help and you have no family support, then you need heaps of cash to throw at the problem. It would be a logistical nightmare. I'm a sahm of school age dc...my days flies by. I barely keep on top of everything in the house !!

I was a SAhm for a while and struggled with it.
I did a course at the local college, joined the ‘earn £10 a day thread’ in money and started making a bit of money at home by doing online work.
I know work part time term time and still do some online work.

Why would you feel silly walking around by yourself?? Go and see how many others are by themselves. It’s not an issue at all and completely normal. I used to go to the cinema in school hours by myself too. It was great.
Just do it.