So overwhelmed... I need help please

[Newnamenewme13]

Hi, I'm posting in the hope of some advice, tips, encouragement... Anything really...
My house is a mess. my kitchen looks like a bad hoarders kitchen, table is unaccessible and the room and presses are all just packed with "stuff". It feels so overwhelming to even start to clear it but I need to do it. I have been putting it off for so long now, and it's really affecting my mental health. Even typing this is making me feel so anxious.
If anyone can help, or relate, I'd really appreciate it. I'm very embarrassed but hoping posting might help in some way
Thanks

Start small, do one thing a day, such as the table.
Are you ok to throw things away, or do you find it difficult ?

Thank you. No I have no problem throwing things out at all, I'm more of a minimal person than anything, usually... It just got bad over time... I have depression and it's hard to motivate myself to do it, and now it just feels so overwhelming. I think I'm going to have to just throw something out every time I go in there to start, and then start with sorting through some stuff slowly, that might feel easier

The organised mum method (TOMM), especially the boot camp but.
I swear by it.

Felicity what's that?
I started, not much but I started.... Got a little section clear as it was mostly recycling... Maybe start easy and work my way up

I’ll de clutter with you if it helps. My plan is
Clear cellar space.
Move boxes of stuff to storage in the cellar (currently in lounge)
Tidy rest of lounge.
Clear kitchen table.
Sort kitchen work surfaces
Hall table.
Bathroom- Chuck out toiletries I won’t use.
One thing a day….

I found listening to A Slob Comes Clean podcast by Dana White got me going, she also has some YouTube videos. (She's good for the disorganized scatter brain and breaks things down to a simple level but not sure if it's what you need having depression which must be a tough situation.)

The first thing she says is wash your dishes. Then commit to wash them and put them away every day. In doing this she found that she had too many dishes and pans to fit in her cupboards, hence next move was to declutter.

Thanks so much guys, I really appreciate the help and advice.
Howmanysleepsnow thank you. I've to clear and organise my kitchen, I've ordered storage containers etc to help organise once I've cleared it out.
Sitting room needs clearing (started this eve filling a bag of recycling and a bag of rubbish) still a good bit more to do but it's a start!
I need to organise kids clothes, I have storage boxes got for them too, and then I need to go through my own clothes.... Lots to go to recycling/bin, then I'll have space to actually clear out the rest of the room.
I just seem to have built up so much stuff, and a massive amount of it is to go straight to recycling or rubbish so really shouldn't be as hard as it seems, and if I could just start properly I'd have it cleared relatively quick I'd say. Just hard to get a proper start!!!

Once you get started and see clear areas it will be easier to get motivated. It’s so easy to get overwhelmed by it all. I sometimes either pick one area or one surface or put 20 things away then award myself with a cup of tea/TV programme/internet half hour or whatever. I need rewards for my work!!

Thinking about it as a big job is always my undoing. I try to plan everything and then do nothing because there is too much to do.

What world for me is to write it all down to get it out of my head. Then pick one thing of the list. Because everything else is already written down it means I don’t have to think about the next step or the next and just focus on being able to tick that one thing off the list.

And don’t underestimate the power of an app which gives you a satisfying ting when you tick something off. It also builds up your willpower as you get a dopamine hit of achievement (science! )

works for me

As felicitypike mentioned... The organised mum method might help you. If you Google it then on her website there are free printables which you can use. There's a boot camp where you completely clean and declutter, but I never did that bit as it was too overwhelming. Beyond that you have level 1 basic jobs (super quick hoover of main areas, 1 load of laundry etc) and level 2 jobs to do each day. For level 2 you focus on a different room each day and spend 30 minutes on cleaning/sorting it. Mon is living room day, Tues bedrooms, Weds hallway...

The plan is that you spend 30 mins cleaning then stop. You aim for 'progress, not perfection' and remember 'good enough is good enough'. Anything not done in the 30 mins you either do as extra, if you're getting your house up to scratch, or (as you're meant to do) leave it to be your first job the following week.

If you do stick to it then cumulatively things start to improve, you notice more that needs doing and the 30 mins start to add up. I also found that by having a room to focus on I'd look at that room (and sometimes the list of suggested jobs) and crack on with something, rather than knowing I need to clean 'the house' which is so overwhelming I'd end up doing nothing.

Oh and I also got a g30 edge Eufy robot hoover, who I trap in each room to clean round. If I'm really demotivated that day then clearing a floor enough that he can hoover actually helps keep on top of things. Or if I'm in a better frame of mind then he can be hoovering one bedroom, where I've cleared the floor, had a quick wipe round and changed the beds, while I'm sorting the next one. 😁 It's a bit like having a helpful friend!

Start with your dining table. Get a black garbage bag and fill it with rubbish. Get a cardboard box and fill it with anything you can donate. If in doubt, it goes in the black bag.

Then, and this is the key, get the box and bag out of your house today. To the bin, to the tip, to the donation drop off point, whatever it is.

Tomorrow, start on one bench in the kitchen. And so on.

Once the benches are clear, start on the floor. Don’t go into the cupboards yet.

Once the kitchen is clear, start in the living room. Clear the lounges. Clear one corner. Clear the coffee table.

Just step by step. You didn’t arrive at this situation overnight so don’t expect to turn it around over night.

Good luck. You will fell fantastic once you see some progress. You can do it.

Also, containers are not your friend here. You need to get rid of things before you can store or contain things. Just move out everything that is not essential or sentimental. Out!

Don’t know if you feel comfortable doing this but what if you post photos of your progress and we can cheer you on!! A bit of praise is a massive motivation!
We won’t judge!
And remember, every small thing makes a difference.

Even if you don’t want to post photos, if you take a ‘before’ photo then you can motivate yourself with the ‘after’ photo too- step by step.

Second A Slob Comes Clean - she’s very realistic and honest and says it’s all about ‘not making a bigger mess’, which I like.

I a pp said, one thing at a time. Sort the kitchen table today, then one cupboard a day.

I'm moving at the moment and have packed up the kitchen bar 3 mugs, 3 plates, 3 knives, 1 pan etc (you get the idea) but it's really shown me that 75% of everything in my kitchen gets used once in a blue moon. Be ruthless and if you've not used it in 6 months throw it. I had stuff like popcorn makers, lemon squeezers etc all hoarded away that I never use

Oh you guys thank you so much for all the help and encouragement, it really does mean a lot... I got nothing done today as work was crazy, but I'm planning to keep going in small bursts, even 15 mins on my lunch will get a lot done over the week so I'm determined to do that, and even half hour after work too will really help, I can see the difference in the little bit I did yesterday so that really helps too...
I can do this, as posters have said, I need to stop looking at ALL that has to done and just focus in an area at a time I think, every little helps as they say!!

Do you have a car, I've been getting rid of kids clothes and toys selling them at car boot sales, made abit of money. Just hate throwing stuff out that's perfectly good to use.

Look around then make a list of tasks, tick each thing off the list as you go, it will motivate you.
If you havnt used something for 6 months bin it.
If you can't bear to part with something put it in the attic / garage / under the stairs but get it out of site.
As soon as you start to clear a space you will see light at the end of the tunnel.
Don't look at the whole mess as you'll think it'll take hours to clear.
Recycle takes 3 minutes to get rid of.
Take the bin out, 2 minutes.
Sort out any mail, get a bag for personal stuff that needs burning, anything you want to keep put in a drawer.
Sort out one cupboard and throw stuff out so you have room to tidy the kitchen work surfaces and put stuff away, take about an hour.
Break it down into little jobs and do two things a day.
Spray and wipe as you go
Good luck 🍀

I would start with the hall or porch. Everything usually has to come through it to go outdoors. It's also the place that visitors see first when you answer the door. It's generally a quite simple room to clean once it's cleared.

Are you on Facebook? There's an excellent support group for hoarders called the Hoarders Support Group. It's based in Los Angeles, but has members from all over the world. Here's a link: www.facebook.com/groups/506286962806401/?multi_permalinks=3727073410727724%2C3727014144066984%2C3726973130737752%2C3726852980749767%2C3726817080753357&notif_id=1627642445902186&notif_t=group_activity&ref=notif

I recommend unfuck your habitat www.unfuckyourhabitat.com/
before you start on a regular routine.

I read somewhere that if you wait for motivation, you will never do anything.

Just do it.

Set a timer for 15 minutes and clear a table, a drawer, a surface. Just one thing. And then if you feel like stopping, stop.

Personally, I like podcasts when i'm doing practical things, as I get quite engrossed and then find myself doing more because I want to carry on listening. Maybe give that a try?

So many helpful posts, I'm really glad I posted now... I'm going to get a small bit more done on my lunch break and then again after work, even the bit I've done looks so much better