So overwhelmed... I need help please

[Newnamenewme13]

Hi, I'm posting in the hope of some advice, tips, encouragement... Anything really...
My house is a mess. my kitchen looks like a bad hoarders kitchen, table is unaccessible and the room and presses are all just packed with "stuff". It feels so overwhelming to even start to clear it but I need to do it. I have been putting it off for so long now, and it's really affecting my mental health. Even typing this is making me feel so anxious.
If anyone can help, or relate, I'd really appreciate it. I'm very embarrassed but hoping posting might help in some way
Thanks

How have you been getting on today? I was inspired to clean my living room during a netfix binge last night after reading your thread!

As an aside, have you ever tried taking a photo before and after clearing a space? I know ot might be a bit sad, but I find it so satisfying taking a photo of a room thats a tip and then again after tidying. The before and after effect gives me a little sense of achievement!

After loads a few stop and start attempts, I spent a whole day doing the kitchen the other week. It took ages, but I did it and the difference of having a clean uncluttered kitchen is amazing. I feel calm when I walk in first thing in the morning, rather than wanting to cry.

I'm working on the rest of the flat now, aiming to declutter at least one thing a day for the next month. There's still a quite a fair bit to do but find that once I start I gain momentum and motivation. Little and often. Good luck OP, you got this!

I also find doing the job that I'm dreading the most first thing helps me feel productive and motivated, whether that's cleaning related or something else (think it's referred to as 'eating the frog'). Making a realistic list (if it's too ambitious it just makes me feel overwhelmed) and setting a timer also helps, and listening to an audiobook or podcast.

Hi, just checking in to see how you’re getting on! I’ve managed to clear space in the cellar and build shelves, put a load of stuff in storage boxes, put said storage boxes on the shelves and clear the kitchen table.
Still to do:
Tidy lounge now stuff is in storage
Kitchen work surfaces (clear gadgets and cereal boxes away)
Hall table
Chuck excess toiletries (mostly body lotion etc from sets)

I’m also adding tidying the shoe racks and weeding the garden to the list.
If it’s fine tomorrow I’ll tackle the garden, rainy it’ll be the lounge.

I'm a horder. From a long line of horders.

Set a timer to 10 mins. No more. Declutter and remove the resulting stuff from the house. This can be recycling, landfill or in a pile to take to the tip. It cannot remain in the house.

Do this every day for 6 days.

This gives you four house decluttering a month and it works.

@beautifullymad

I'm a horder. From a long line of horders.

Set a timer to 10 mins. No more. Declutter and remove the resulting stuff from the house. This can be recycling, landfill or in a pile to take to the tip. It cannot remain in the house.

Do this every day for 6 days.

This gives you four house decluttering a month and it works.

'Four hours decluttering a month'

One step at a time, start with the room that is most bothering you, sounds like the kitchen. Start in sections, every item needs a home, just think about this, even in the most unorganised home you would know exactly where your kettle or toothbrush is. If items have a home and are returned to it after each use. You will make progress. You need to be ruthless about decluttering, and clean as you go. Once you start, you will be amazed at the progress you can make. And the progress will spur you on. Good luck OP you can do it.

Hi guys, thanks so much for the replies... I've been doing ok, got some more of the kitchen cleared, and bad as it is, my god the difference even having cleared a bit of space... I will get more into it now over the wkend, I just honestly (and embarrassingly) can't wait to have it cleared so we can actually eat at the table... Plates on laps at the moment and that's just shit really.
I'm making progress, slowly, but progress... I'd have it done ages ago if I wasn't feeling so anxious about starting. The actual table is still making me anxious but as I do bits it's helping that!
The storage I said I got was for inside presses, a couple are unusual so I need storage to make those more accessible and usable... They have been put to the side as I need to clear the rest of the room before I go near the presses... But I'm excited also that once I get to them, they will actually be easier to sort and organise with the storage things... Anything that might motivate me is welcome, I honestly am disgusted and very very sad at how hard it is to motivate myself to do these things. Clutter is a hate of mine yet here I am surrounded by it

It's the throwingv away not the reorganizing that will help you. Fill a bin bag. Get it out. Tomorrow fill another. Be ruthless. Fill one everyday until you only have as much stuff as you either regularly use or really like. Then look at the stuff you have kept. Do you honestly want to give your precious time to cleaning it storing it dealing with it? That should encourage you to get rid of some more. Finally you can start to clean and organise.

I am totally with you on this. We came home from holiday today and our house just feels choked with stuff and dusty.
I find the worst thing is getting started - I'm like a stuttery car engine. However, once I get off my bum and do one job, I kind of build up momentum.

My one downfall is that I get very fixated on one particular area. So, for instance, I'll say to myself "angelica, let's clean the whole house!' and then spend 2.5hours sorting out my baking cupboard beautifully but everything else still looks shit.

TOMM is amazing and will get you past this stage. I think it's also important to get your kids to join in too- give them ownership and they will work with you, rather than against you. At least 75% of the crap you have to tidy up will be theirs, after all.

I've also started just doing a bit at a time as I pass by. So, this evening, I went to the loo so cleaned that. I then wiped the surface above the sink with an antibac wipe. I take shower cleaning things into the shower with me so that I can clean the shower while I'm in it which just seems less of a faff.

Good luck getting beyond the stuttery engine stage! And don't fixate on just one thing for 2.5hours like I do!

A wise elderly aunt of mine used to say "start with the sink and work outwards from there".

Really helps me when I'm feeling overwhelmed!

I too get very overwhelmed, we’ve been living with my MIL for a few years in a big, old house. We have our own “bit” but theres no storage and a lot of her furniture around so its incredibly difficult to keep on top of things. We’re hoping to have our own house next year!

When i’m massively overwhelmed I do as a
PP said and write it all down, task by task.
Sometimes i’ll really break it down:

• wash dishes
• dry dishes
• put dishes away

It helps me to tick it off and see progress throughout the list.

Good luck!

Take photos before you start.

Then after working on a room or an area, take photos again.

You can compare 'before and after' appearance in specific problem areas, and you can pat yourself on the back when the photos start to look how you would like them to look.

The photos also serve to help you emotionally distance yourself from the mess. You become an objective observer, a creator of tableaux.

One good tip that helped me was 'never leave a room empty hsnded'. So if I'm in the living room and need to go into kitchen to start getting tea ready I collect cups and take them through. If I'm going upstairs to use the bathroom I'll take a pile of clean towels up with me to put away. So I'm tidying as I go.

Haven’t read the whole thread but I’d start with the table. Take a photo first. Then sort it out - however long it takes. Then take a photo again when it’s done and looking lovely.

Listen to the A Slob Comes Clean P
pidcast. Go back and start from the beginning and stick with it for at least half a dozen episodes. Literally changed my life.

Podcast. Whoops

Brilliant that you have started, op. It probably didn't get messy in a day so will take longer than a day to sort out so guve yourself grace on that. I have found flylady to be really useful for morning and evening routines, as well as dealing with clutter. Also follow TOMM which is great as tge more you do it, the easier it gets. Watching Youtube cleaning videos while cleaning/decluttering is very motivating!

15 minutes a day is a good place to start. Increase to 30 when you feel like it. Set a timer. Focus on sink, empty and shine it each day. It feels slightly ridiculous but powerful psychological effect. Add keeling table clear each day. I would then focus on building and maintaining a basic morning and evening routine each day until you are ready to move on, eg:

AM
Put clean dishes away/ shine sink
Make sure table is clear
'Swish and swipe' (quick clean) basin and toilet
If time, 15 mins throwing away rubbish/decluttering

PM
Make sure table is clear
Kitchen sink clear?
15 more mins decluttering one area
Look after yourself- lay out/hang up clothes for next day.

Hope that helps a bit.

Sorry, lots of typos, on phone!

Commit yourself to fill a bin bag with rubbish a day (you can have a second one for charity to avoid being slowed down)

Hi, just checking back in... So my table is very nearly clear, and under it and around it nearly clear too, lots of recycling and rubbish, washing up done bar a few mugs ECT that I can't fit on the draining board... Throwing out mugs that I don't particularly like/use as we have enough to host a town for tea lol
Taking a break now, I'm doing short bursts of work and having breaks, seems to be working for me, keeping me going back to it!
Now moved on to dreading clearing and sorting the presses lol, but I know I'll get it done after how much I'm getting done with the rest of the kitchen, and relatively quickly.
If only I'd started this week's ago!!! Though I'm still fighting the internal voice telling me to leave it and sit down... Not to bother... on point... The joy of depression I guess

Oh @Newnamenewme13 I need to do my 3 big kitchen presses this week too!
Absolutely no motivation for it lol.

You're doing so well @Newnamenewme13; it gets a bit easier after a while. The hardest thing is just to get started, but you've cracked that. Onwards and upwards!

Thanks OP, you just inspired me to go throw away a few bits of paperwork. I am mentally picturing the mess in my house as a literal battle. Every time an enemy scout (bit of mess/clutter) gets sent out, if I don’t stamp on it quick, it gets joined by ten friends and before I know it they’ve established a beachhead. I am trying to ruthlessly defend my territory aka my tiny bits of cleared space, and not let any enemies get a foothold!!

Hello, this is such an inspiring thread, can I join in? I’ve just spent 2 days cleaning the house as friends were coming. Now I need to declutter and keep on top of it.
Like you op, there’s so much to do I get very anxious.
So all the help in this thread is amazingly helpful.

@Newnamenewme13

Well done for getting going and making progress.

My tips are:

1. sort any post / junk mail that comes into the house straightaway so there is never a pile of papers to sort out.
2. have a damp e-cloth in your hand as you chat on the phone, and wipe the tops of picture frames, doors, window sills, bannisters - in fact anything that can be wiped down with a damp e-cloth.
3. if possible iron everyday and put it away, ironing never builds up and no piles of clothes hanging around.