Festive Fledglings Flap Frantically Towards A Calm, Clutter-free Christmas!

[SingToTheSky]

OK so clutter-free is a bit ambitious. But anyway, all welcome to join us for a jolly holiday thread, in which we very loosely follow (or at least half-heartedly mention now and then) the FlyLady system of housekeeping.

I’ll be posting links and reminding us all of various tasks up until Christmas Eve, for those who want to follow the system - and if it’s like previous years there will also be some specific extra missions to help us prepare our homes for Christmas. However, we really are just a bunch of frazzled Mumsnetters who will be very happy to welcome you along for chat whether you follow the system or not! We discuss housework, sure, but a whole lot of other stuff too.

We will also continue with the Keep Calm Corner, in which you’ll find various diverting questions, memes etc.

And finally a huge thank you to Foxes who did a fab job of running the thread for the first time in November! 💐

I am allowed to post again. Assignment resubmitted. Yay! That was the most boring bit too (GDPR etc) so hopefully it’ll be easier to motivate myself in future.

Oh sherin my lovely I just saw your post. I’m so sorry you’ve had a crap time (glad baby’s staying put for now though!) and that your ex is a total dick, and his new woman too, ugh. 🤬 You and your little ones deserve much better. Zero judgment here for being a young mum, and for needing benefits. Things will get better. In the meantime we are all here for you, whenever you need a rant or support 💜

Oh Sherin you are most welcome here. No judgement at all - I think you sound very robust. Well done on ditching useless male(s). You have plenty of time in years to come to do other things, just concentrate now on your little family. You have your whole life ahead of you and so much to contribute as a Mum to two little ones and as they become more independent you'll have more time for other interests etc

at that other lady Sherin. I hope she therefore is keen for her current partner to contribute financially and emotionally to being a good Dad to your new baby as well as to the one she is expecting. Don't let anyone dull your sparkle. Onwards and upwards. Do hope baby arrives before Christmas.

Ah I see it's Ds's Dad Sherin. Same applies though. Given she's pregnant too you'd think she'd be more understanding. What a horrible thing to send on Facebook especially at Christmas.

Oh thank you for being so kind sing, it was a worry telling everyone on here about my circumstances because I know I don’t sound great😂. Thank you again for being so lovely. And well done on getting your assignment resubmitted btw!

Thank you tinselette, it means so much to me. I’m swearing off men for the foreseeable (very happy on my own) and I’m giving myself 4 years until the baby starts school to sort my mental health out and get confident enough to work, even if it’s just a part time job. But I’m focusing on me and my babies, they’ve both got shit dads but I’ll be the best mum I can be to make up for it. Ex’s gf is being silly, I don’t know where it came from as I’m not even friends with her on Facebook and I haven’t posted anything since June!. I’ve blocked her and deleted all social media, those that mean the most to me know the sort of person I am and that’s all that matters. I hope baby arrives before Christmas too!.

sherin you do sound great. And I wholeheartedly agree with everything that has already been said. Sorry you've had to put up with such a lot though

Sing well done on completing your assignment!

Well, ds's nursery called earlier to say they are closing a day early because hardly any children in. And they were meant to be having the Xmas party tomorrow which he was looking forward to I have work tomorrow too so will have to let him watch quite a lot of TV! Oh well, never mind.

Ta das
Went to supermarket and finally spent a voucher I had (on party food ), got some fruit and a few bits for lunch and managed to get the t shirt for ds
Took another bag of clothes to clothes bank
Came home unpacked shopping
Had bacon and cream cheese bagel for lunch 😋
Cleaned the bathroom (we have new towels which despite being washed several times are still shedding fluff everywhere so the bathroom was covered!)
Dusted upstairs furniture
Put washing away
Hung washing up
Dishwasher on again
Took recycling out
Dh has de-iced the fridge and also put a door handle on my office door (!)
Tidied living room

Oh and anti procrastination - sorted the empty splosh packets read to send back!

Very often have an adult male around is like having another child around 😁. I remember ds fixing me with a steely stare at four, announcing 'I do myself' when I was trying to help him with something - you start to become redundant in some ways very quickly! As my late Granny in law said regarding children and careers - 'you either have your 20s or your 50s free to do other stuff'. You'll have tonnes of time later on and so much life experience -and probably a clearer idea of what you'd like to do.

Very valid points made! I agree the other woman is probably projecting her fear that this waster will turn on her too. This way she can pretend it was clearly something wrong with you, not him.

FWIW I am a youngish mum too - or at least I was when I became one 😂 pregnant at 19, now I’m 34 with a 13, 11 and 3 year old and I’m just thinking about studying and a career now after a lot of health/mental health stuff.

Honestly you’re amazing bringing up your little one by yourself, getting yourself sorted and away from a toxic man, please please be proud of yourself and not ashamed of the circumstances you’ve been in. ❤️

I feel a lot lighter mentally having done my assignment! I’ve now wrapped some presents while watching Outnumbered but then realised I hadn’t painted the gift tags so had a short break to do a few. Will have to finish that wrapping in a bit but I had a break for scones 😋

Also I’m a bit annoyed at myself as I had this vision of nicely coordinated gold/silver paper and pretty ribbons etc and now I’m doing it it feels dead boring 😳 and of course I can’t go and buy more paper yet. Oh well I’ll keep going with the current wrapping anyway and go back to pretty patterns next year! 😳

No judgement here Sherin. Well done for getting out of a bad relationship and getting back on your feet. The message is probably related to whatever your ex is filling her head with about you. What they think of you doesn’t matter and I find it difficult to believe he’s changed and they are happy. A happy settled person doesn’t need to send random messages like that.

That’s such a shame about the nursery party Foxes. Ours is supposed to be open mon-wed next week and I hope they don’t close early as although DH will be home I have a list of DIY for him and he won’t get it done .

for submitting/anti-procrastinating Sing.

Also awarding myself a for anti-procrastination. I only went and did the painting! Been putting it off for weeks and it took just over an hour.

Ta da:
😊 hand washed breakfast dishes
😊 painted boxing in, window frame, door frame, door and skirting board in loo
😊 washed paint off brushes/me
😊 marzipanned christmas cake
😊 washed up cake stuff
😊 leftover curry for lunch
😊 washed down inside of front door and paintwork in hall
😊 tidied hall unit and took pile of coats (DH’s many jackets 🙄) upstairs
😊 decobwebbed, hoovered and mopped hall
😊 wound lovely festive rope light round bannister, only for half of it to stop working as I got to the end
😊 unwound lovely festive rope light and dumped in box of broken electricals to be recycled
😊 washed dining table, chairs and paintwork in dining room
😊 cleaned patio doors
😊 decobwebbed, hoovered and mopped dining room
😊 piled DH’s work/hobby stuff up for him to move from dining room before xmas
😊 quick hoover and mop of kitchen
😊 10 minute upstairs tidy
😊 hung up laundry to dry
😊 quick tidy and vac of living room
😊 cuppa with feet up 😴

Didn’t get as much of the house deep cleaned as I planned but it still think I can get done what I want to before xmas. Right, finishing this cuppa before DH and DD arrive home.

well done upholder - currently procrastinating about painting!

mega list there too!

Ds has got a negative covid test so that's a relief!

Great news tinsel! Not heard from DS’ yet.

Foxes that’s sad about the party :( I guess a lot of kids are missing festive fun this year, it’s such a shame.

Did a bit more wrapping and feel more festive now but there’s no water coming out of the hot tap siiiigh

Sherin i am so glad you are back! I did worry about you.

It doesnt bother me what age you are when you have your kids. You sound like a wonderful mum, you care and love your kids. Thats all that matters.
Welldone for being strong enough to say you wont put up with a shit partner. Its lovely your family help you. I am a very older mum, and struggle physically to jump around with the kids and wish I had them younger but I couldnt as my family life was so unstable.
Ignore all the rubbish being said to you. Its just words, and they are not the people in your life that help you or that you turn to if you need them. So they are not important.

Growing up, I was talked about by my whole street, all my extended family i was top gossip conversation topic. I regularly was seriously controlled by my mum. Dh and me were childhood sweethearts...no other relationships.... but i still was gossiped about.
I learnt that they can gossip, but When i had a crisis in my life...none of the f....ers where around to help. So they can go f... themselves. I survived.
When my mum had a massive stroke when i was 23...no was there to help. I spents months in the hospital being with my mum. It made me a stronger person.

My mother in law helped me as much as she could. I txt her today and told her everything 'D'h is behaving. She told me to ring her if i need her. I dont want to worry her too much...she has soo much health problems and still works.

I think 'D'h is projecting his ex managers problems onto me.
His ex manager is going through the first part of a divorce. I am nothing like this woman (i am like a nun compared to the tales I hear of this woman.) But my dh is tarnishing me with the same brush!

'D'h has recently been moved into a new role at work, slight demotion. Unfortunately still working from home tho.
Plus he is not leaving the house to excerise so getting cabin fever.

Hills thank you lovely
It has been him shouting at me, and we are not a couple that argues....we silently seeth and internally combust and dont speak for a week normally.
I was aware that things might get worse and I am spending the daytime at my dads house. I think its better (and safer for me,) we are not around each other all time. He used to be at the gym or work or driving up and down the country for work, so we are not used to seeing so much of each other. Lookdown is difficult now. Dreading that 'D'h has 2 weeks off for Christmas.

Cant tell my dad anything as he would really really worry. Nice thing is that my dad is happy to see me, as I was able to take my sewing machine and did some sewing jobs for him.

Sorry for waffling so much.

Oh dancing that sounds really tough. Please consider opening up to family too ❤️ H shouldn’t be able to manipulate you into silence. You’re doing a grand job of parenting your fraggles and I know it seems terrifying but I do wonder how much less stressed you’d be without him nagging and complaining. :( Either way though we are all here for you to rant to ❤️

Nobody can come and fix our boiler until 23rd Dec. So another week without reliable heating/hot water. While self isolating and unable to go anywhere else. Fun. 🙄😂

Yeah i totally get that Dancing. I have a emotionally abusive narc of an ex. Hope you are able to look after yourself.

Shit day. ONline doctor's system DOES NOT FUCKING WORK!
Physio stuff has made things so much worse.
People are using solvent based glue in the house and i can't breathe
need to open window to air out but window stuck shut cos cold wet and need replacing
Internet cable needs replacing

Tired, grumpy and in pain. So much pain. I had forgotten how much pain when you can't breathe like this. I am ready to walk out atm. So needless to say i am going to shout at offending person to open their window. cook tea and go pick up a prescription and new ethernet cable.

ANd then I have about 6 hrs of college work to do for tomo morning!

dancinghugs lovely.i had issues with dd1 dad.we were young and whilst he has issues,they rub up very badly against mine making for a right toxic mess and I bought the brunt of it all.im glad i got out when I did,or I probably wouldn't be alive now...
Sherin we don't judge here lovely.i have four zoolets,two dad's(dd1 has different dad to other three).you sound like a fab mum❤️

I HAVE A CLEAR DINING TABLE SURFACE!!!!!

I may also have spent an unnecessarily large chunk of this afternoon making a garland for mantlepiece cobbled from fake bits of greenery,small silver and pink baubles ,and fake white hydrangea flowers at each end.i loosely tied baubles to greenery with cotton to stop them pinging everywhere.my phone playing up do can't take photos at mo,if I get it sorted will share it with you all!
I also have completed dyeing to navy curtains now.they seem so dark and dramatic after fuschia pink!

Front room is almost clear and "visitor ready"(not that we having visitors)
Hoping I can keep it like this at least til Xmas.....

List written for dd1 to pop Tesco
Loads washing still to do
Need find something lil zoo might eat tonight..currently have no bread but a couple slightly stale bagels....

Sherin only people I jugde are the ones that deserve to be judge (narcs, racists and generally those who have proven their issues etc)
Having a kid young is no issue if you handle it right. Hang in there. I also took time to sort myself out after leaving ds' dad. Some here remember a little of what happened in that process, mostly only RL people know the full truth. It took a LONG time. if you can get some help for the ptsd please do it will help. I am too busy fucking up my life to judge.

I'm just rearranging the deckchairs on my own Titanic Hills!

I'm sorry he's projecting stress on to you Dancing.Take care of yourself

zoo hurrah for table - a Christmas miracle?!

Sing - maybe press gas people for cancellation - too cold now for no heat or hot water.

tinselette indeedand arf at arranging deckchairs on your own titanic!
and am also good at making a dog's dinner of things so don't feel I've any right to stand in judgement of others

Hills is right.once you get sorted for yourself everything else slots into place

I'm stillsat her procrastinating what to feed everyone...

I am done with the people in this house. Not even close to being able to have an early night. I have to leave before I am totally done.
Not a happy bunny.

Fantastic list up!!

Arranging deckchairs on your own Titanic has tickled me

Ds was okay about no party tomorrow, they gave out chocolate selection boxes which definitely helped! I've told him he can sit and do puzzles and stickers in my room while I'm working so we can chat at the same time. I'm sure it'll be fine for one day.

X post hills 😞😞😞