Fledglings prepare to fly their lockdown nests and jump into July - join us for the July FlyLady thread

[KTCluck]

Welcome all fledglings, newbies and lurkers to the July 2020 flylady thread, where we try and follow flylady’s system to keep our homes in order and our lives organised. We are a friendly bunch and like a bit of a natter, amongst posting our ‘To Do’ lists for accountability and celebrating our ‘Ta Da’ lists no matter how long or short. No fledgling is left behind, just jump in and join us wherever you are at - whether you are a lazy slattern living in chaos or a fully certified domestic goddess wanting to keep up the motivation. Most of us flit between the two depending on the day. The threads tends to be a supportive corner of MN, and we readily provide listening ears for woes and rants when needed.

Flylady is a system based around morning and evening routines, with babysteps to get you started and a daily focus, such as planning and family fun day. There’s a weekly home blessing (or ‘bleurgh’ as we prefer) which is a basic clean to keep the house ticking over, with short bursts of decluttering or deeper cleaning in weekly zones once you are ready. Flylady also suggests short missions each day. Feel free to adapt the system to make it fit in with your life.

Link to the launchpad is here (I hope) and the baby steps are here. From the launchpad I like the ‘flight plan’ for a reminder of the routines, and ‘sneak peek of the week’ for a list of the week‘a missions. You can sign up for emails, but be warned, you will need to regularly declutter your inbox!

As thread leader for July I have taken possession of the thread pointy stick —> for anyone in need of a sharp prod of motivation, but I’ve also set up a chilled quiet naughty corner, complete with comfortable day beds, a gentle sea breeze, and unlimited fruit platters, ice creams and cocktails to any fledgling who is in need of rest and recuperation or is just on strike. No partners or children allowed.

I’ll also try and keep the ‘keep calm corner’ (KCC) going. Originally introduced by our lovely SC, it’s a little daily dose of respite we’ve been using to help us get through these strange times.

I’ll do my best to keep us all motivated and flying throughout July. On work days I may appear with the larks, or not crawl in until the end of the day so apologies in advance if I’m late with links.

We start tomorrow in zone 1 (hall, porch, dining room). Here’s the missions. Habit of the month is ‘swish and swipe’ which is a daily 2 minute wipe of our toilets and sinks. Tomorrow is anti-procrastination day where we tackle those tasks we’ve been putting off.

Anyway, enough waffle, July we are coming for you! shortly, I’m just checking the naughty corner is ready

My god, must be going senile, forgot Zoo! . Hope she is ok. (Saves place on day bed with fluffy blankets and mahoosive pillows and warmsmous tea pot ready for her arrival...)

NFLB!

enormous teapot!

Thanks for last month meg and lisette. I did read thread 2 but I never managed to post.

Thanks for new thread KT that is one lucky chicken!

Nothing really to report from yesterday managed schoolwork, feed everyone and wash dishes only. Also had to nip to Hobbycraft and Sainsbury's. Still haven't wrote a proper shopping list so hoping to get that done today so I can get more of a substantial shop tonight.

Only just woke up so late getting started today. I'm just Having my coffee and DC are having weetabix and blueberries then we'll crack on.

Blimey, I just caught up with June and I see you’re already on page 2 😂 thanks for the new thread kt I bet it’ll be yet another 2-thread month!

Glad to see you hazel just yesterday I was thinking I hadn’t seen your name for a bit!

Thank you for getting us through meg when June was so wearing for you, and thank you to lisette for stepping in as host too during the Great Internet Outage!

Ugh I am all period painy and BLAH. I am very glad it’s Wednesday, DS is still watching anime but we will commence in 20 mins.

Welcome wine! And Duck too (without orange or cherry...?)

Hazel lovely pictures, the fire ones really are stunning!

DS is getting on with his non verbal reasoning (I made him a booklet of a load of free papers online) which isn’t actually on his list for the week but he likes it (definitely my son in that regard) but we are a bit behind on the vikings book so swings and roundabouts.

I’m super hungry and need caffeine so I’m going to read the intriguing KCC story 🐔 and then get sustenance!

and hot water bottle for Lane

I think it needs to be a warmasamouse teapot Megiddo
Oh NO about Virgin delay; a three-week delay is outrageous!

Yes, I hope you are ok Howl if you are lurking

And KTCluck I totally forgot to say, I am really sorry about your friend's mother but that will be a lovely way of paying your respects.

Elevenses...

Yesterday ta da (in no particular order):

• dog walk in rain
• wrapped present and wrote card

-sorted leak in roof (which took a while) , cleaned gritty desk and floor in office (post road works outside) and brushed area outside front foor , cleaned up spilt coffee in dh office -roughly 2.5 hrs work admin

• cooking of full English and clearing up

-e-mails to friend in need

• made plum sponge for DD and tuna salad for all of us for supper
• 2 lol and hung up/td'd
• tried on some new jeans and whoo good, they not only fit, they are reasonably flattering! (If you could see my figure ATM you would appreciate what an incredible miracle this is! ) And they were from a high street chain store (admittedly one that "celebrates your curves") so not too €€€€. And, even better, they don't tend to stretch too much and fall down like my treggings!

-ordered a small Christmas present for my niece in the sale just happened to see something that would be perfect for her! -cleaned shower doors & Detolled bath and taps and loo -shone sink

• watched Downton and had bubble bath at same time
• family Zoom call and friend Zoom call
• researched a Japanese tutor for DD

Ta da this morning:
(DH did first early dog walk)
-Bins and green recycling
-Emptied DW
-Shone sink and kitchen surfaces etc

• "Encouraged" DD to get up and at 'em!

-Put early morning washing in td as still raining here -Made DD post-lickdiwn dental and orthodontist appts -aired house after rain and checked leak in roof again -opened quarantined parcels in outer hall, recycled packaging

• opened all post and sorted
• tidied pile for wreck2

-swept outer hall and wiped down front door and all handles etc with Dettol -s&s cloakroom

To do:

• approx 2.5 hrs work admin
• second dog walk of day
• prep supper (late!)
• meal planning? What do do with miso paste - does anyone know?
• BOUDOIR which is a disgusting pit - this could take days!
• reboot laundry
• continue packing
• Next sale order as "puppy" has shredded my slippers
• banking
• serve supper and clear up
• must also do !ore ironinh, have stacks of it

Small steps everyone!

LaneBoy exactly I'm thankfully done with non verbal reasoning booklets, glad your DC is enjoying them.

Thank you for the lovely welcome guys! I must admit, I am already feeling a little overwhelmed and not knowing really where to start? How do you start when every room almost is in CHAOS?

My lovely friend with a lovely home called me this morning and said 'and before I went to work I did this/this/this/this/this, and kids are doing this/this/this/this today' and I thought, no wonder her house is always ready to have people over (within reason, it's not a show home, she has kids, but you could never look around and say it needed a good clean/tidy) - I want to be like this!!!

lane there’s lots of public transport here 2 but then it takes ages to get to sum where. I’ve been fine with it until now but we can only go 2 places rly local which is annoying. Hopefully can go out more soon!. I’m glad home ed is going well 4 u, it’s really great u took ur kids out of school when they were struggling I think a lot of ppl just see school as compulsory and let their kids go miserable there!.

sc Christmas will be modest here 2 but will start buying soon!

Welcome wine and duck!

Lovely pics hazel

TaDa

drank tea before it went cold
made coffee and didn't go back to bed
cleared draining board (our dishwasher died - sob)
vaguely healthy first breakfast (porridge and raisins)
remembered Morning Prayer on fb
half-hour exercise class on zoom (I generally have to stop before the leader says to but given that most of them are under half my age I'm happy with how it's going)
second breakfast less healthy but used up a jacket potato from the freezer (someone claimed that if you cook and freeze them then they come out of the microwave crispy. They lied)
made lunch for S2 who is going into school
shower
defrosted and moisturised legs
s&s x2
lol (towels)
made lunch for rest of us
didn't swear
scooped chopped salad from floor into compost bin
chopped some more salad
ate lunch
took phone call
made cup of tea

ToDo
email report writers about the postponed APCM
hoover before S2 gets back
make lasagne
check emails for urgent stuff and maybe deal with a couple
do some work on Pile Of Stuff on the chair in the corner of the dining room

This last counts as both Decluttering in the Current Zone and today's mission, as it is the bulk of the out of place stuff in the dining room. Unfortunately the reason it's still there is that it's stuff that is tricky to deal with, or needs other stuff doing as well, or is emotionally charged... so 15 minutes doesn't generally cut it (I frequently end up going through the top folder "checking" I have all my dad's notes on my Ancestry tree...)

Yay duck :o TBH DS has no reason to do the NVR papers - he’s year 6 now but has no intention of going to school ever again :o (took him out halfway through year 1), so no 11+ etc, but he likes them. Not so much the verbal reasoning ones so he’s got more pages left on that one :o I loved both as a kid, in fact I remember nicking some of my mum’s old “general reasoning” books when I was bored! I am A Nerd. :o

I was hoping for some time to finish watching a film (The Breadwinner) but no such luck. I have had a life affirming bacon sandwich though. So that’s good. With onion that I’d chopped and frozen last week

Anyone have pen/pencil/general stationery storage ideas? Especially toddler proof? I really try not to rush out and buy storage (I have been terrible for that in the past and it always just gets filled with more crap instead) but we don’t have anything other than general tubs with no lids, and an old toolbox that I absolutely hate and isn’t really a good shape anyway. We can barely find a working pen most days let alone staples, tape etc.

I do sort of like the idea of drawers in the Kallax but they’d either be low enough for Cagletini to ransack (and lean on dangerously) or they’d be too high for us to easily see in. I just need some kind of ALL STATIONERY LIVES HERE thing. Thoughts please?!

Can't help with stationary lane. We have two pencil cases that we use for schoolwork one normal pens and pencils the other colours. Then we have a big mixing bowl of them in a kitchen cupboard. DS have a drawer full in the room. DS1 has a case full of sharpies and I have a jam jar with permanent markers in a high cupboard. So basically they're all over.

SC I use miso paste when I make HM chicken in black bean sauce or I make a miso risotto to have with fish.

I have achievements 🎉
🎉 breakfast and lunch dishes done
🎉 hoovered most of downstairs
🎉 LOL
🎉 cleaned hob
🎉 tidied kitchen and LR

That's the most I've achieved for days

Okay - the Resilient book by Rick Hanson. He comes from the Buddhist tradition and works a lot on personal communication particularly with couples so there is a whole section on good communication which I thought was very eye opening and thought provoking. He writes really well and is not at all irritating to my mind. He sees resilience as a mixture of determination, self worth and kindness (to yourself in particular). He sees humans as having three basic needs of safety, satisfaction and connection. The basis of the book is that we need to turn passing experiences (fulfilling these three needs - satisfaction can be fulfilling a task for example) into lasting inner resources. In doing so you rewire neural pathways but you have to make an effort to fully absorb these experiences to utilise them later. I liked his concept of refuges which for me would be art galleries, walking in woods, recalling poetry, enjoying a good cup of coffee etc. He further sees humans as operating in two zones: one is a responsive zone which is like a resting state where you can cope with good stress and the other is the reactive zone where you need to gear up temporarily to deal with a crisis. Thing is you can't stay long term in the reactive zone as it's not good for you. So a lot of resilience is to help you to remain as much as possible in the responsive zone and to make successful forays into the reactive when life demands it. You can work through the book all at once or in stages. I've read it through but there is a lot to think about so I'm going back to work methodically through it. I've had a lot of family problems and it has been very helpful to read this book because my self worth has taken a battering.I think I was brought up with parents who favoured parenting through the reactive zone

Anyway in case anyone finds it interesting that's my understanding of the book and here is his website www.rickhanson.net/resilient/

Tea break ...

Winepls don't worry at all - I have faced similar situations in the past - and more recently than you would imagine! (I am tackling my boudoir right now and it is an utter hell hole.) The thing to do when everything is a mess is 1. drink a glass of water and breathe and tell yourself "I am strong, I can do this!" (I know this sounds ridiculous but it does help! ) , 2. plug yourself in to some rousing music or a podcast, 3. set a timer for 5/10/15 mins depending on how strong you are actually feeling ... and 4. choose one spot, maybe one horizontal surface such as a table or bed, or one corner of a room, or your kitchen sink and draining board and set a timer for 5, 10 or 15 mins and just go at it in a very focused, determined manner without distractions until the timer goes off.

I PROMISE you that just clearing one small area and cleaning it will give you enough energy to propel you on to next small area or task, and so on ... . But the trick is NOT to wait until you feel you have the energy (because it rarely comes) the trick is to force yourself to do five mins even though it is the last thing you feel like doing - and that ACTION is the catalyst for the next.

And you have to imagine yourself wearing horse blinkers while you are focusing on one small area, and don't let yourself get distracted or overwhelmed by other areas of mess or by thinking how much else there is to do or that will panic you. Be ruthless! And accept that it may have taken a while to get messy, so it may take a while to undo the mess, but that's ok, as long as you are consistently doing a little bit every day!

Make sure you take plenty of breaks and promise yourself a reward such as 30 mins of a Netflix series when you have finished, to keep yourself motivated.

The other way is to start in the corner of a very cluttered room for example and have with you: 1. a bin bag, 2. a charity box , 3. "put away elsewhere" box and go around in one direction, using the timer, in 15 min bursts, only touching one item once.

An alternative way is to go in to a room and have 15 mins madly picking up any rubbish you can see. Stop have cup of tea. Then go back and pick up all clothes for laundry and dump them in front of a machine to sort later. Then go back and do more intricate decluttering and sorting and jettisoning.

Whichever method you choose, good luck! The force of the fledglings is behind you! Remember that if you do just 5 mins of intense, focused work, it will be better than it was before!

Welcome Duck, lovely to have another fledgling with us.

Wine don’t feel overwhelmed, it won’t get done in a day. Just concentrate on the baby steps like meg suggested. If the house is feeling chaotic I like a 5-minute room rescue. Set your timer and do what you can. It probably won’t be perfect but you’ll be amazed what a difference you can make. I do a few rooms then rest then the next few.

Meg how annoying the saga continues. 3 weeks is quite a delay!

Lane hope you’re feeling less crampy and meh soon. Stationary wise we have a small sideboard in the dining room. One drawer contains all biros, envelopes, stapler, sellotape etc. No attempt to organise it, we just know everything is in there. Then DD’s pens, crayons etc are in a card gift box thing within one of the larger baskets with her paints and craft bits. I’ve found attempts to organise things too neatly don’t work as they soon get messed up, so find just everything together in a designated pace works best.

The book is based on a course that Hanson runs (he is a psychologist not a guru so it's not a cult!): here are some of the resources that would give you a flavour of his book and also then a video of him talking about the principles behind the book:

www.thefoundationsofwellbeing.com/pillars

www.thefoundationsofwellbeing.com/

Thanks so much ladies, and @squanderedcore that's really helpful, thank you! I think I spend a lot of time looking at the ENTIRE room/floor/house and it's just too much :-/

CanI ask as well, how much do your kids do? I have a 15, 12 and 7 yr DCs. Eldest is good if I ask, as is youngest, middle one not so much... x

Good lists meg, merry, awol and Sc!

My morning went mostly to plan. Run didn’t happen as there was a torrential downpour but I did some yoga instead - the brutal abs one which I’m starting to find a little easier. Made it out the house in time for the funeral procession. There was a good turn out and it was quite emotional. I’m pleased there were lots there for her family. The weather stopped the picnic but we still braved a walk along the river with wellies and waterproofs, then me and DD had a floor picnic at home. Currently under a fleecy blanket watching cartoons with DD.

Ta da:
✅ beds made
✅ top up shop, put away
✅ all fed
✅ s & s x 2
✅ LOL
✅ upstairs tidied
✅ clean laundry away

To do:
🐦 clear away picnic
🐦 dust and hoover upstairs
🐦 clean bath and shower
🐦 hallway hotspot
🐦 laundry in dryer
🐦 monthly planning

Lane some toddler stationery/craft storage ideas [[https://mumsgrapevine.com.au/2015/03/kids-craft-storage-ideas/

here]] I like the first one with the little desk! I like it when they can go off and do something spontaneously themselves without having to ask you to grab all of their things. And I think it helps if they can ONLY put pencils back in one place, crayons in another etc, so you limit the potential for chaos at the outset.

When dd was small, she definitely had her own storage, which was one of those big plastic storage caddies like this [[https://www.hobbycraft.co.uk/clear-storage-caddy/578084-1000

but bigger]]. Sewing shops sell them I think.

More latterly, we have an entire, old, battered chest of drawers, with smaller boxes as dividers in each drawer , which contains general hwk and household stationery supplies and artists' supplies. It all needs sorting though again though as dd doesn't do much of that sort of art that requires pipe cleaners and glittery pompoms any more and I have other supplies in my office, so it has all got a bit out of hand! I did clear it out last summer (or two summers ag??) , but it needs doing at least annually.

I don't know if it's just my family but even though I confined all the essential scissors, tape etc to one chest of drawers, they were always going walk-about in this tall house, and it was a pain having to search for them up and down stairs, so I have my own "secret" box of measuring tape, small hammer, sellotape, scissors, Pritt stick, tippex, pencil sharpener, stapler, ruler etc which is exclusively mine, in addition to general household supply and woe betide anyone who tries to nick anything from it ... [growls fiercely and bares gnashers] But as I say, it might just be because of our tall house that we need multiples of everything!

Lisette I've ordered a copied! Sounds excellent. Deffo need help with family communication atm. Thank you for heads up!

LittleMissAwol whoo hoo to achievements v good list!
Miso: ahh, so it's like putting a tablespoon of fish sauce in to something as a flavouring. That's really useful, ta v muchly. I understand people eat miso soup for lunch as it suppresses appetite apparently but wasn't sure how to use it.

Great list Merryhouse bravo! And without swearing ! I'm so glad you said that about exercise because I sometimes have to press the pause button but as you say, it is better to banish perfectionism and do some rather than nothing! Also, very much identify with stationery piles teetering with emotionally difficult decisions! I should add morning prayer to my ta da lists as well but they are sometimes so quickly, or said while dog walking alone in park that I am not sure they "count"!

Megiddo well done re: list and (justified) angry cleaning of bathroom! Might as well harness the angst! Arf at lickdown! And no, I didn't give dd dhorse's mineral lick by mistake!

Waves to Mummy and Duck and everyone else!

x post

I'm glad the turn out was good for your friend and her dm KTCluck

Winepls I think Hazel is the expert on getting kid's to help! My nearly 17 year old is good if I ask but it annoys me (and is probably my fault!) that she rarely volunteers!

Place marking thank you @KTCluck for the thread. Have dabbled with the fly lady before and ready to work hard! Although the day beds and unlimited fruit platters sound a welcome bonus!

Wine mine are 10,8,5 and nearly 2.

1& 2 takes turns to dry dishes. 1,2&3 put their own ironing away, make their beds, tidy up after themselves (when forced mainly), tidy their rooms (when told), put laundry in basket, straighten sofa cushions (if asked) and set the table.

DS2 is definitely the most helpful and requires the least prompting. When I tell the others to strip their beds they will but he will automatically put clean sheets on they wouldn't dream of it. He's also the one that always gets asked to do things like pass me a nappy or something just because I know he'll do it without moaning.

We stopped for a snack of cheesey broccoli and I finally put the pork joint in for dinner. Having a roast so it will be a late dinner for us today.

Now just finishing bits and bobs of schoolwork. DS2 has asked to do more after dinner and I've had to tell him he's done enough for today. Never seen him so keen to do schoolwork before.

Heya all! I’ve spent the day sorting out my cupboards. They’ve been driving me crazy tbh so I used an old washing up wrack 2 store them. I’m having a rly slow day 2day. I had a bad night last night, me and DM had an argument and it’s just left me feeling rly deflated. I’ve come off my anti depressants a few months ago but don’t know whether to start again for a little while to get me thru this bad patch. Hope ur all wel!