The decluttering one thing a day thread - part 12

[AlexTheLittleCat]

For StealthNinjaMum

We’re still here.

After 11 threads my house still isn't tidy!

So join me and a lovely group of mumsnetters who simply get rid of one thing a day and report back. Gradually we’re developing good habits, reorganising ourselves, often improving our mental health and having friendly chatter along the way.

So newbies are welcome, just check in with your news and join in the general chat about recycling, organisation and housework.

Previous thread here.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/housekeeping/3799710-The-decluttering-on-thing-a-day-thread-part-11?pg=1

ALSO many of us have set a target to get rid of 2020 items this year and will report on that.

Oh and every single school book too 🙈

LaneBoy - Thanks for the idea but yes, I think it would be another thing and another job to do at this point. Thanks anyway though.

Today's outs: 3 tops which had made it into my 'for decorating' stash but really feel too unpleasant to keep, even for that.

I really think you have to look at things as if they are what your mother saved for you, we would all like to see or first baby grow, first body suit and first socks a botties and first posh outfit. Only really to see how small we were Also first baby teeth and the name band and all that kind of stuff. As for keeping loads of clothes for each stage I really only kept first proper shoes , I just always gave away or sold things Because would you really want to put your new baby in your old clothes your mother had pulled out the loft from a box? Or even worse that you ML had been keeping for years.

As for keeping all the kids artwork would you really want to be given 15 years of your own artistic creations as a adult? I know I would not, just keep one baby box and one childhood box.

You're all doing so well. I haven't really decluttered but I have managed to get stuff to leave the house so feel really pleased with myself. I think I mentioned last week I took a couple of bags to the one charity shop in my town that was accepting things. Well today I took 3 big bags of clothes to a clothes bank. Some of our clothes banks were either overflowing or closed with lockdown so it's progress to have got rid of 5 bags.

I have also advertised some toys and clothes on my local facebook site so fingers crossed they'll go.

Took out two bags of textile recycling and put two bagst of too small baby clothes into cupboards. Said cupboard is filling up... I'll have to produce baby number two soon to get them back into use.

so much inspiring action since I last checked in! my house isn't too bad at the moment, but the huge shed we inherited from the previous owners has been on my mental to-do list for a few years.

tackled it the other day.. vast amounts of rubbish. so many paint pots with virtually no paint left in them, lots of old rotting timber, just loads of useless crap.

it's all down the side of the house and a waste disposal company is picking it up tomorrow! means we can organise the shed. and store garden toys/paddling pool properly

It’s good to recognise that though isn’t it sand - I’ve been guilty so many times of buying a storage solution without really thinking how it would fit into my life. In fact I’ve done the same more than once with the pill boxes 😳 this is probably my third or fourth, but it’s only now that it’s actually working with my day (I think because I take my new adhd meds at set times so it makes sense to divide the other stuff between them)

I don’t even want to think about how many Really Useful Boxes we’ve had. Most of which got filled up with random crap and/or are now lidless or damaged. I got better at not just buying storage, and only bought a few bits when we were moving here in 2018. But I think it’s time to really think about it and I’m writing a list. But I still want to avoid buying as much as possible for now.

Feeling a bit sad about the house this evening anyway, thanks to some ants getting in, and a resulting emergency clean which left me somewhat overwhelmed. Sigh.

I am also trying to think more positively though and consider what kind of things would help the house feel more homey. As it’s not really, it’s just our stuff in some rooms IYSWIM? I’m not sure if I’m so focused on the clutter that I don’t actually bother getting anything nice for the house, when maybe I should.

What do you all think makes a house feel more cosy?

Jigolo - "It's so hard with personal stuff because everything has a memory attached to it, even if it's not quite a good memory. I am trying to hold onto the idea that the memory is not gone, even if the thing is."

Tbh, as I get older and less able to deal with stress, I find that even good memories fade unless I can see and touch an associated object. Ppl suggest photos of stuff, then donatethe stuff, but photos don't work well, because they don't remind of something happy, they only serve to remind me that the something is now lost to me.

Baby teeth, things they made, a treasured book, and I can feel again the original emotion. Real photos that I can hold in my hand of the children and a special event are precious. Photos on a device seem very remote, not part of me.

Goodness I sound about a hundred! But sometimes I wonder if this is a sign of something I should worry about.

Today I gained five pairs of socks from the odd sock pile for myself. I'll sew pink dots into the toe to claim them. Three socks went in the holey heap, and the rest are fine for the LOs at school. I think - hope - that's the end of this incredibly boring saga of the socks!

I also decluttered half of a giant bar of Dairy Milk and eight hours of Netflix. So tomorrow I'll have to declutter a few hundred calories. Not my best day.

We have to get some work done on our attic this week so DH has to empty it. I am going to go through the stuff before it goes back up. I put a baby item up for sale and a lady is due to collect on Wednesday. I am only going to put back items that I am confident we will reuse. The Christmas decorations and clothes in the appropriate age are safe but I will be ruthless with everything else. Wish me luck!

Lane, I have no idea how to make a cosy home. I see a nice room on tv or in a magazine, and try to copy it, and .... nothing.

I think it's got a lot to do with lighting, and throws and cushions. My DD is brilliant at that kind of thing, and her flat is welcoming, relaxing, and colourful. But as most of these things end up on the floor in my house, it feels pointless for me to try. Most of our stuff is just crammed into wherever it takes up the least space, and is mostly just functional.

Do you have favourite items that make you smile when you see them on the mantelpiece, for instance? I like to have something like that in a wee corner for myself, rather than try to get the whole house sorted. A pretty vase.

Yes I guess it’s in the details that build up over time. It’s the in between bit that overwhelms me I suppose. I have this image of what I’d love it to be like but short of a “changing rooms” (remember that show?!) style overhaul, it’s just not going to happen overnight - and then in the meantime it’s even more of a mishmash. I’m not even bothered about what other people think really, but I guess also I struggle with change.

Sometimes I think I don’t have enough personality to have an interesting homely house 😳 it’s not like we have picked up cool stuff from our travels as we don’t even really do day trips let alone holidays - life is very much a struggle most of the time and I’m not a fun person to be around 🙈

Sorry that descended into something of a whinge fest 😳

I’m glad it’s nearly the end of term anyway, 2 weeks left and then we will have much more time to declutter I hope, as really nothing is going to move forward until we’ve done that.

Lane - don't apologise about the whinge. I can relate to a lot of what you wrote. I think our personalities can start to disappear with children and thinking that self-care can wait, but then become lost or eroded through constant stress.

Our term finished last week. Despite the fact that there doesn't seem much difference atm between lockdown and the holidays, it feels so much more relaxed. You don't have long now; whinge if it helps :-))

Aw thanks mrs :) you’re so right, I’ve been very much consumed with being mum and especially “teacher” (was home edding 5 years already when lockdown started but due to lack of distractions have thrown myself into it more than ever... this has had huge benefits for DS, but I’ve let it take over me too much!)

I think I’m struggling a bit because before lockdown I was finally starting to get some of myself back. I was being quite creative (drawing/writing), using the gym and swimming, doing a couple of courses (which were only temporary anyway, but they were immeasurably helpful not just in their content), and working out what I needed from time alone like a little time in the pub with a book. I guess losing all those things has meant my identity-searching fell by the wayside a bit too!

I was feeling quite keen to start planning a career too and now all that confidence has gone again - I think that’s related TBH but I hadn’t realised it until your post, so thank you for that 💐

DH and I have also been discussing aims for the holidays so hopefully we can come up with a plan.

Vin - Sorry to read about your Dad. Hope he's well on the mend now.

Lane - I like a cosy home too. I like to keep things quite clear, so I compensate with soft and natural materials. I like things like soft cushions and a blanket for the sofa, candles, twinkle lights, natural baskets etc. Most of our furniture is wooden - I like the warmth of it. The ornamental bits I've got are quite eclectic and 'me' and are all loved. Perhaps that's a key thing? To have things you love? I think it also needs to be quite clean and tidy too, though not stark or clinical. It's a balance. Just some thoughts anyway.

I've got some more outs for tonight:

• 2 receipts which have been on the fridge for too long.
• A wad of papers I've been keeping for about 10 years, intending to read and learn from... I'm really not that interested and after having them on the coffee table for a week, I've realised that I'd rather have the space.
• 4 plastic bags.
• 3 glass jars with lids.

Have started moving some things over to my new place but there’s still loads to do! Three more eBay parcels sent, that makes my total 29 sold - mostly bundles so number of actual items much higher. Going to give what’s left another week or so and if they don’t sell I’ll charity shop them. There’s still a heap of things in the attic to sort though. I’ve got rid of loads of paperwork and I’m starting to go through the book collection as the vast majority will have to go - I just don’t have the space. Two big boxes already to one side for MM and Ziffit and more to add when I have the time. It’s not a lot of cash but every little helps.

Jigolo glad you got the beds sorted out.

Vinorosso Sorry about your dad, glad he is getting better now.

Lane I'm so glad this week's flyzone is the kitchen, mine is a clutter magnet. A million little baby weaning pots. And everything else.

NanaLisa We have memory boxes too, I try to thin them out when I put more things in.

I've been cleaning and tidying and returning things to their homes. I've hoovered the same room two days running (which I never do, but the more you clean, the more it needs cleaning. I'm guessing this is now people end up like Mrs Hinch, although there is no chance of that happening in this house ), LittlestCat is very impressed as he loves the hoover and bounces when you get it out. He also follows me from room to room with it.

Now I need to ebay some more baby things.

Very little decluttering here over the weekend although I did manage to persuade DD to try on her school uniform to see if any could go to the second hand shop before the end of term. Amazingly it all seems to fit still! Hopefully this will still be the case in September.

Good luck with the attic Elenorrigby. Your approach sounds like an article I read the other day about 'reverse decluttering' - you think about what you really need/would save from a fire and focus on that rather than what you want to get rid of. I'm too good at thinking 'but I might NEED' it for it to work for me though!

Sorry to hear that you're finding things a bit overwhelming Lane. I think lockdown has made made it really difficult to think about how to change things because so many things seem out of reach. I hope the summer holidays bring you some extra head space without the teaching hat at least.

On cosy homes, my DH insists it's about things on the wall. The result of this is that we have many picture frames waiting to be hung! As Sand says, I think it's important to focus on things you love and that reflect you rather than creating a show home. My work is slightly related to making welcoming spaces (public, not homes) and we always focus a lot on lighting.

Hope the move goes well Lilly. Glad that the bed saga is over & Jigoo* and hello to everyone else.

"I might need it" - I struggle with that too RaspberryBlonde and also used to think "someone might need it" so I kept things! I gave away loads of baby items from the attic which was great but I need to go through the stuff again. I am aiming to just put back the Christmas decorations, clothes in the appropriate ages and the box of memories - art work etc. The work is being done tomorrow so the attic is now empty and I just need to get myself motivated and organised.

Bag of books to the book recycling bank in town. They've been in my boot for most of lockdown!

Going to read about memory boxes as I was sorting the kids' ones out yesterday and recycled a good batch of 'artwork'. They now each have a full box on top of the wardobe with baby boxes, drawings, cards and school books. I'm going to get rid of stuff as new stuff comes in, as like someone upthread posted, they won't want more than a box full each when they leave home.

Thanks meg don’t worry as I did ask it on the other too! It’s nice to have the discussions though, it’s really made me think.

I’ve so far got:
Plants including massive ones in the hallway when we ditch the buggy
Proper solid table
Darker furniture - that’ll be a “gradually upgrade” thing as when we moved we just had a massive ikea order. Simple for storage but it feels clinical.
Warm colours but not too dark
Wooden floors eventually
Loads of soft furnishings - nicer curtains, rugs, cushions
Toddler’s toys on display - not all, just some of her lovely wooden stuff - most toy storage is trofast trays on the landing, so we can eg bring the duplo down for a couple of days and then tidy it easily, but she has naice things like a little wooden rainbow and lovely animals etc which would be nice and accessible in a basket. Little musical instruments too as she loves the ones we already have and I’d already planned some for her birthday/Xmas.
More art! Having nice pictures on the wall makes me happy and like I said yesterday I’m considering what stuff is “me”

Managed a tiny bit of decluttering again in the kitchen. Really liking the zones now, it was helpful to just think “I can grab a few bits from the kitchen” rather than being overwhelmed and not knowing where to start, and thus doing nothing. Not sure I’ll get more done today.

Just catching up on the thread - re a mantelpiece we don’t have one - new build so no fireplace. When I think about it that was quite a focal point of our living room when I was growing up. Much as the house was mostly awful (emotionally as much as dirt/clutter) I do like some elements of that room. The wallpaper was weird but the bottom half was all mahogany coloured panelling, the carpet was like a Persian rug in the middle with deep purple round the edge, the furniture was mismatched but all dark and rich browns. The chandelier and massive oil paintings (they’d bought those from art students and put them in fancy frames) while not to my taste definitely added personality. I don’t want to emulate that room, but I can take things from it in my mind I guess.

In the cold light of day it all feels a bit pointless thinking about this stuff because

1. We have a lot of clutter to deal with still
2. We have no spare cash to actually change things like furniture when we don’t actually need it and it’s not a priority (for example we do actually need a wardrobe in our room)

But I said to DH it’s like the “dress for the job you want, not the job you have” idea in a way - we can still think about these things and make plans and then I guess start working towards it somehow.

And I don’t want to wait to get everything now, so maybe if I see something I can afford that fits in our dream house I should actually get it rather than let the opportunity pass us by. The only issue is I then worry about stuff getting wrecked while the toddler is still young.