Please help me cope with normal family clutter

[Autumndays14]

Posting because I am at the end of my tether and know I need to trying and adjust my views or I will go mad. We are a family of 5 (7 and 5 year old and a baby). We live in a terrace house and the downstairs is all open plan albeit divided into 3 separate areas. I just cannot cope with the clutter of everyday life. It makes me feel physically sick to see it and I feel stressed just being in the house. Our main problem is that we don't have a hall and so coats, bags, shoes etc all make it into the main living space and seem to take up so much space. I can't embrace the chaos, it just drives me mad. Sorry, I am just venting really. Does anyone have tips of how to deal with clutter? I feel physically lighter when I throw anything away and it makes me so happy. I must just be crazy!!

Glasgow - the idea of a garage...That would be a dream!! We live in a tiny Victorian terrace - no side access, no loft space as there's a bedroom in there.

Very true words spoken about storage not working if you're the only one who's using it. My DH is from the school of thought that if it's not immediately visible it must be 'lost'!!

I will try and do some de cluttering now as the baby is having a short morning nap. My challenge will be to get rid of 10 items! Anyone with me?!

The baby stuff do you have s family member that could store it for your sister? In some ways I feel that is unfair giving someone else the problem...

As you have zero storage you need to be realistic and either give it to your sister now or sell/donate it I'm afraid.

You're right, Random. My sister is very well off and so can easily afford to buy stuff she needs. It's more of an emotional thing in that she is having ivf and I am just getting rid of my baby's things as soon as he grows out of them. Like I am saying that I don't think her ivf will work??
Gosh - writing these posts really makes you realise how much your home/possessions are tied up with your mind and mental health!

On the plus side I have just filled a bin bag! Got ruthless with the puzzles we have done 1000 times and the plastic tat from cbeebies magazine!

autumn with the baby stuff, you could just choose the most lovely, precious things to keep- your sister isn't going to want two dozen very slightly stained white baby grows, so three or four lovely things you all remember your babies looking just adorable in, is plenty

This thread has spurned me on. Last proper clear out was neary 2 years ago  started in my room & did upstairs. 2 bin bags of crap and 2 bin bags for charity. Summer clothes packed away . Started down stairs now. Good polish and hoover as you go.
Saying that it's easier as my kids are older.

Have you considered those beds where the mattress comes up and has an ottoman base. So much storage room for shoes, boots, toys, bedding etc. I wouldn’t bother with drawers in a divan but the ottoman divans are amazing for storage. As a previous poster said clear out clutter first in every area including the kitchen.

I suspected as much about your sister.

When she becomes pregnant she will most likely want to shop for her eldest etc. Pick a few items that are lovely for a newborn and keep them.

If anyone ever says anything you can be "I'm sure DSIS doesn't want to store our well worn cast offs. She's bound to be looking forward to choosing what she likes"

You know her best but a few carefully chosen items rather then "offloading" all that you've finished with?

Under bed isn't utilized enough really. The kids have the ikea under bed boxes under their bunk bed for their sheets and towels and that is very useful. I just looked in the drawers of the day bed and we have about 15 grotty towels rammed in there and the drawer barely opened - we probably haven't used for years. They are now gone. But hard doing stuff when the baby is awake. I glad others have been spurred on too!

Just thinking - as my sister has hoarding tendencies that maybe it's not helpful for me to give her our old stuff as then she may feel obliged to keep it even if she doesn't want it. She very much associates items with memories etc and may feel guilt at throwing away a Moses basket my kids had slept in or something (whereas I am very harsh and unsentimental!). As money no issue for them then they can probably buy much nicer stuff than we have anyway!

I live in a normal sized house in a city. My DSIL lives in a huge house in the country. I declutter regularly and so my house is usually very tidy - we go from time to time when I am busy of it being less tidy but usually it is tidy. My DSIL is a hoarder and not tidy - her huge house is always cluttered, and it stresses me to stay there, so much so that I end up tidying!!!

First you need to declutter - try Marie Kondo and get rid of all the emotional clutter. Remember you live in a small terraced house - you cannot afford the space to keep stuff for your DSIS just in case - I have used this talk with my DH who loves to hoard and I remind him of the cost of land per square foot where we live and that it will not be used to keep spare pieces of pipe!!!
After that you need a quick daily routine,
I have tried to adopt some bits of the Organised mum method - I don't have time for it all, but I clear the play area before bed and I put on the dishwasher. I clear out the dishwasher and refill as the kids finish their breakfast then I clean the counters and put on a wash. Then we are all out the door.

Perhaps have a small system like this? You are busy with a baby but I was the same on maternity leave with DC3 and I had to clear the clutter as it is too hard to spend all day in a cluttered place with a small baby and small kids.

Finally, tell your DH you will compromise but you want a clear house and you need it for your mental health.

Last one - I too live in a place with expensive houses but I have up cycled lots of storage that I bought in charity shops - perhaps DH could take on this project?

Thanks Annasgirl. Routine is key, you are right. The mornings where I haven't made pack lunch, haven't got uniforms ready are so stressful. Much harder now because the baby has some solids too so he has to be factored in to the breakfast routine as well and he creates a lot of mess!

Well done Autumn Days. Oh gosh - baby weaning - I hated it!! I always say the worst baby years are aged 7 months to 3 years when they are messy eaters and moving about.

Really it does improve hugely after that. So try to not stress and just perhaps have one clutter free area to relax in in the evening or afternoon and let the rest be a weekly tidy with your DH.

My DC are aged 14, 11 and 6 now so it is much easier to stay on top of things but even then we get clutter full days and I have to do a major clearout every few months. At least you can still manage what they bring in - when they start hiding sweet wrappers in the bedroom you will look back fondly on the clutter of a toddler.

We have a sliding door which we never close. So yesterday I closed it and the kids were perfectly happy to just stay in one 'zone' and the front but stayed tidy which was nice. They also really enjoyed playing with some of the games I had sorted out in the de-clutter, so although they actually have less stuff as I chucked stuff, they felt like they had new stuff!

Thanks for the help everyone.

Good solid underbed drawers on castors are brilliant and hold loads.

Everyone has one coat, one hat etc downstairs. Everything else lives in wardrobes, no exceptions. Bags go up into bedrooms - I find it helpful to build it into routines eg as soon as they come into the house, or swimming stuff goes straight to washing machine before they sit down for lunch.

YY to opaque storage!! We limited toys to what would fit in or on a 4x2 IKEA kallax, and bought very carefully. Do you actually need all your trainset or are there bits of it that no one ever actually uses? I cleared all the random trees and buildings out of our set and then got the whole marble run into the same box.

Consider changing radiators for taller narrower ones and adding tall storage, maybe even jutting out into the room as a sort of mini room divider.

We had bespoke shoe storage made for our hallway, because everything readymade was too big for our tiny hall. It's old fashioned pigeon hole style cubbies. The box of shoes drove me mad as it was always messy if no lid, and ignored if we used the lid. Cubbies take the shoes almost out of sight but are easy access, and the unit was much less than you'd think. Be strict with shoes too - 2 pairs only each in the hall, everything else upstairs. Put away out of season everything. Use car boot for buggy, wellies... Children need fewer clothes than you'd think once they're in school. Audit their clothes, remove anything half outgrown that you're keeping just in case and only give them access to 6ish tops that fit well, a couple of jumpers etc. Though my boy seems to breed hoodies for some reason.

Agree with Messy about just picking a few of the nicest outfits to pass on. Also I would bet your sister will want to choose her own Moses basket and so on so I would give those things to charity now.