Decluttering GUILT!

[Mybestusername]

I’m getting stuck in with decluttering and have sorted out plenty for the charity shop / tip. But I’m struggling with having to face up to the amount of money I have wasted on stuff that I’m getting rid of. I know that my house and family will be better off without the clutter so it’s not going to hold me back, I am just kicking myself at the amount of unused and unloved things that I’ve bought over the years.
Tell me how to deal with this please!

If you've got time, sell whatever you can on facebook sites and ebay. Makes me feel better to focus on what i got for it rather than what i paid for it.

Could you guestimate how much youve spent on what you are getting rid of and write that figure big somewhere to see as motivation to not waste again?

Think of it, not as a waste of money, but as paying it forward, by donating the items to charity and hope that others will benefit from them.

I love a good declutter

The money is gone already and keeping the stuff is not going to change that.

You got some enjoyment from the thing before so think of it as like buying an ice cream. You spent money on it and enjoyed it but now it’s gone. Except with 156 ramekins and 7 handbags from 1992 filling up half your wardrobe space it’s not actually gone. You need to actually get rid of it.

Don’t fall into the eBay/selling trap.

You will find in the future that you will buy less stuff as once you change how you think about ‘things’ you won’t be spending your money on them.

The peace of mind you get for having a manageable house is worth more than your perceived loss; you could easily pay the same amount again to get the extra peace of mind. Except that a charity benefits this way. Win win.

How to deal with This unhelpful sense of loss, that actually creates an extra burden (cost) on you, is addressed in many of the decluttering Blogs.

The other half of decluttering is DON'T BUY. Rule of thumb is Don't buy anything if you don't absolutely totally need it.

Thanks for replies! I have been selling on eBay but so far recouping a tiny fraction of the money spent. I’ve vowed to control spending in future which should help. I like the idea of paying it forward, I definitely get that, but just need to shake off feeling so annoyed about accumulating all this crap in the first place!

You are all so wise!

Money is just a resource. Not end of world to waste, we waste lots of things & don't make ourselves feel guilty about it.

At least you realise now so you can do wiser purchases in future.

The money is spent. It's not coming back. All you can do is get rid of the clutter and try to change your thought processes going forward.

I know what you mean. I chucked out so much stuff when I moved, especially children's things, some of which hadn't been used much. I kept thinking of the waste. I worked out roughly how much I might have saved if I hadn't bought it all and tbh it wasn't that much and certainly wasn't a life-changing amount.

What I hate, and wonder how others deal with this, is how to get rid of stuff I know I will (certainly, or almost certainly) use one day, but not sure when or not yet.

Like... pens. I only need 1 pen at a time, but I don't want to chuck the good pens that I will use or DC may prefer... but maybe not for yrs. Like 3 or more yrs before we need it (after other pens dry up). 3 yrs is a long time away to put up with clutter.

I've also got a lot of packaging & boxes... for when I manage to Ebay something, I have every size. It's excessive, but I twitch at risk of not having a good size/right packaging. I'm not buying packaging, that is completely out.

I am eyeballing a lot of marker pens & coloured pencils we have, and little use. Thinking maybe I could offer them to the primary school, at least.

I view it as my donation to charity. So I don’t give a regular monetary amount to any charities, but I do donate a lot to charity shops instead.

Think of how delighted someone's going to be and how relieved they find it in the charity shop.

Box it up and get to the first car boot sale of the year?

Less effort than ebay and you'll hopefully feel better getting something back on it. We do a couple of boots a year then whatever hasn't sold goes to charity of recycling.

Battleaxe I have done boot sales in the past but now I find them so depressing and not particularly profitable - all those hours spent sorting and boxing, then people being so grabby and haggling over 10p - I would rather just give it straight to the charity shop

What sort of things are you having guilt over op?

I feel the same. My problem is/was clothes. Too small. Bought with intention of slimming into them

So I did!! Lost 3 stone and now they fit so I can wear them. But some are not as nice or I've changed my mind. I can't win!!

Boot sales are total waste of time ime (as a seller -- great deals as a buyer, though). Better to give my stuff straight to charity shop or flog on Ebay.

Last time i did a boot fair i made £150. That's a lot of money to me. Maybe it would be to the op too.

Hi OP if it makes you feel better I’m going through the same. I’m trying to follow the thinking ‘can I afford it? Do I really need it?’ Before buying anything now. We are moving in a few months and I have so many clothes some new that I haven’t worn in years. I have sent loads to charity shops but also contacted local woman and children’s centres who need donations for people escaping domestic violence. I’m selling a few bits on eBay but it takes a long time.

The guilt is mostly over stuff I’ve not really used - clothes not worn (because I thought I’d slim into them), books that I meant to read but never will, things that I bought with good intentions which are taking up space. At least by selling or giving to charity they can be of use to someone, I’m just pissed off with myself for buying pointless stuff!

I've never done better than break even with a carboot sale. Which is to say, I usually lost money. I admit I knew a woman who got £40 at a carboot. She would have got MORE selling on FB or Ebay, though.

I am in no position to give advice as I am drowning in stuff, but having read lots of decluttering blogs and books, they say living with clutter is very bad for you as you are surrounded by reminders of failures and bad decisions. Marie Kondo would say thank the books you have never read for teaching you what kind of books you do like and send them to the charity shop where they can be enjoyed by somebody who will truly appreciate them. When you are not faced with visual guilt trips you will feel a million times lighter. The money you spent is gone, don’t compound the mistake by hanging on to the stuff. Now if only I could put this into practice myself...

That's depressing!!!

I was going to do a fundraising car boot sale for my charity!!

It is not really money wasted. Firstly you probably got pleasure out of the buying experience. Think about how good you felt in the planning, the buying and bringing the items home,

Secondly, what you bought was not just an item . You bought a life lesson. Most of us that have gone through the Kondo experience, are much wiser and more cautious now about what we buy. Therefore that money spent was an investment in future knowledge.

By giving the items to a charity shop, someone less fortunate will benefit. I think that sort of generosity is worth more than money.

We usually make between £100-£150 for the first boot then around £50 or so for the second. It's amazing what sells but if it's not your bag, OP I wouldn't sweat it. Just grit your teeth and give