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Housekeeping

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Original poster

My stuff is breeding

67 replies

Oliversmumsarmy · 26/12/2017 16:39

I don't think I am a hoarder. I constantly have bags on the go for Charity Shop, Clothes that when the bag is full I weigh in, bags of stuff to take down the tip to recycle and my bins are overflowing and I am using my gardening bins to store the overflow.
Back in September dd decided to help me get on top of the stuff.

We have thrown we have sold everything from large pieces of furniture to small things that we never use anymore, we have recycled and charity shopped.
As an example we cleared partially our lock up and thought we were getting on top of it but now it is fuller than ever. We have 3 other areas that we have stuff and they are now fuller than when we started.

We haven't bought anything.

DD cant understand it.
She took a picture of a particular room before she started and it doesn't look any different.

We took 4 black bags to the charity shop and another 3 of various recycling stuff to the tip last week alone

OP posts:
Original poster
Oliversmumsarmy · 29/12/2017 09:03

No loft as that is now a bedroom.
Outside unit is full.

The baby stuff has all but gone or at least I think it has. Mostly furniture in the lock up and the contents of the van.

DD and I have literally shifted at least 100 bin bags of stuff to either charity shop, tip, clothes weigh in, general rubbish and recycling. We have sold 2 wardrobes, a huge chest of drawers, sofa, bed settee and 3 mattresses as well as loads of other bits and pieces.
In total I have been banking at least £500 per month since September.

OP posts:
Original poster
Oliversmumsarmy · 29/12/2017 09:04

And nowhere looks any clearer

OP posts:
marthastew · 29/12/2017 09:08

In the longer term, could you extend or get one of those office shed things so that you have somewhere to work!

marthastew · 29/12/2017 09:09

Work? Don't know where ! came from sorry.

marthastew · 29/12/2017 09:11

My house is the same by the way. 3 kids and I work and every single room is a mess. I don't invite people round any more. I don't know where to start as the only time I have to do it is the evening s and by that point in the day I'm exhausted. Following for advice.

ohfortuna · 29/12/2017 09:17

Working from home has its advantages but it also means there's a whole new Order of stuff that needs to be accommodated 😓

Original poster
Oliversmumsarmy · 29/12/2017 09:29

No sheds allowed round here. The conservation society would be on me like a ton of bricks.

I am getting rid of things I would like to have kept and being left with stuff I don't want but have to keep.

ATM in my bedroom I have my bed a 2 TVs (one is to go in DDS room) a giant teddy (present from dp on a special occasion) 3 cat beds and a chair and piles of boxes and bags etc with stuff that is up for sale or is someone's business accounts for the last 6 years.

The landing is filled with more boxes of paperwork and stores ds's fledgling business acquisitions. The stairs are the only place that is clear

OP posts:
marthastew · 29/12/2017 10:19

Are you sure about the sheds/office things. We also live in a conservation area but as long as it's not over a certain height or a 'permanent' building it can be done and they can be quite nice to look at from the outside. We also have a very nosy and bossy conservation society that behaves terribly so I do know what you mean. Maybe have a chat with your local planning officer just to check?

Our shed is quite pretty from the outside and inside holds all the things that seem to have no place and our tumble drier. No room in house for it and no garage so the shed is essential.

marthastew · 29/12/2017 10:20

I'm sorry about you having get rid of things that mean a lot to you. I had to chuck all my CDs from my teen years. Still bothers me although I hadn't listened to them in years.

Deux · 29/12/2017 10:51

I think you may have to ditch sentimental things if you're struggling so much. Do you really need to keep the giant teddy? Take a photo of it?

Do you have a Big Yellow type storage place near you? Some have serviced office space that's quite cheap. Would something like that be an option so that all business stuff is moved out?

What are the things that you don't want but have to keep? Can you list them here? Would that help?

Is your DP sabotaging your efforts?

RandomMess · 29/12/2017 17:20

The adult DC with their own businesses - they need to find and pay for their own lock up. You provide them with a bedroom beyond that it's there issue to find storage etc???

Emilybrontescorsett · 29/12/2017 17:21

Is there any possibility of you all putting together and renting office space?
Then you could store your business stuff there.
It only has to be suitable to work there and store your stuff.

Emilybrontescorsett · 29/12/2017 17:22

Cross posts with random stuff .

Original poster
Oliversmumsarmy · 29/12/2017 17:56

Dd's business doesn't warrant her own lock up
Ds is still a teen
Dh I know creates huge amounts of stuff but it is something I am going to have to live with.
The problem is dp I don't know what is going on in his head some days (he is very ill) but at one stage he went on a spending spree each day. He had been given a terminal prognosis so I didn't feel able to do anything about his purchases.

We have worked through those things and we have charity shopped a load of his things so it is not as bad but his clothes alone take up 3 wardrobes whilst I have 1 draw full.
Apart from the Teddy I have got rid of everything else and now the space I have created has been taken over by everything else.

I still think that effectively 4 adults, ds towers over me and his dad living and working in what was a 2 bed house is never going to go

OP posts:
whirlygirly · 29/12/2017 21:43

I don't think it is either. Especially not if you're trying to run businesses from there. Sad

Although you can't see a difference yet, I promise there will be. It took me months of weekly charity donations to feel the difference and I still am fonder of shopping than is good for me.

I got rid of something similar to your teddy yesterday and after an initial pang, I just felt chuffed to get the space back. You'll likely enjoy the space more than the teddy so like a pp said, I'd take a photo and pass it on.

lljkk · 29/12/2017 23:36

Spending spree... I get why you couldn't stop it, but 3 wardrobes full of clothes is bad.
You can only wear one set of clothes at a time.

Kondo... except OP sounds vaguely anorexic about her stuff while rest of family isn't making an effort.

Mortgage companies aren't the worst!! Try paying a solicitor without printed out proof of address. The solicitor wants several forms of ID including something recently dated with home address "because of money laundering rules.". Makes a joke out of online banking-credit-paperless-etc. society.

lljkk · 29/12/2017 23:41

How many cats do you have? I have 3 cats & no cat beds.

"a few extra pieces of furniture" : given that the BBC once defined "few" to = 43, can you elaborate how many is "few"?

ohfortuna · 30/12/2017 08:55

except OP sounds vaguely anorexic about her stuff while rest of family isn't making an effort
I get the impression that any territory which she frees up is immediately swallowed up by other family members and their various money making schemes.
As she contracts they expand....

Original poster
Oliversmumsarmy · 31/12/2017 08:09

I took a look around the house yesterday. Each room needs finishing off. In order to finish the room off I will have to empty the room so I can decorate the move what I need to back in.
The problem is I have no place to clear the roomful of furniture into to start with and in dds case her bedroom whilst virtually finished she can only fit a very narrow wardrobe and a small chest of drawers in her room. She has 3 windows and an awkwardly placed radiator and her stuff is overflowing everywhere.

OP posts:
lljkk · 31/12/2017 08:11

I think I would ignore mess in a DC's private room. They can deal with it.

Original poster
Oliversmumsarmy · 31/12/2017 08:36

Sorry phone keeps crashing so having to retype in sections

What is happening in dds room is happening in every other room.

Christmas 2015 we moved back into the house. We moved out for a few weeks when we were oiling the floors..
When we moved back in we had virtually nothing in there.
The lock up was full but the house and the unit in the garden were empty.
I cant see where it has come from. The living room has exactly the same items of furniture in as 2 years ago but it is also filled with other stuff.

As an example. I have a tv unit with 3 drawers in and 3 shelves. I thought these would be used to store Xbox iPad tv controller laptop dvds workout stuff and maybe my paperwork. Instead it stores dds equipment, paperwork, excess bathroom stuff dds makeup and random bags we use from time to time and a draw of books and wires for different equipment. X box ipads etc are either on the floor or on a surface elsewhere

OP posts:
Original poster
Oliversmumsarmy · 31/12/2017 08:39

My paperwork dvds etc are in boxes in front of the unit.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 31/12/2017 10:12

You need to be firm and DDs stuff lives in her room end of.

She has space under her bed, she could get more shelves, space on top of her wardrobe? She can move stuff into storage if she doesn't want to throw it out. You could look at installing a tall ladder radiator if it would make a big difference. Get her a taller set of drawers? Ultimately though she needs to chuck stuff out.

We had 4 DC in a 18'x22' house, being ruthless and using floor to ceiling storage is a must.

NoSquirrels · 31/12/2017 10:37

Is DD likely to move out anytime soon?

Do check into a tasteful shed situation.

Perhaps your DO’s solution if another lock-up is not unreasonable. Cost to be born as a business expense, of which your DD’s business pays a proportion.

Paperwork. Whilst it is true that mortgage companies & solicitors require hard copies, these can be ordered from the bank when you need them. Scans/online records are sufficient for most purposes, tax man included, as long as they are “official”. As most banks will now hold records online in secure banking for years, this can be minimised.

In the lock-up, how many boxes paperwork per business? Be ruthless & make sure years 7&8 etc are not also being saved, they can be chucked ASAP.

Kitchen - can a washing machine go elsewhere (cupboard under stairs, bathroom)?

Get DD’s room finished & she keeps ALL her makeup etc upstairs.

DP’s wardrobes - insist he stores at least 1 wardrobe full elsewhere (lockup) and cuts down to 2 wardrobes...

Keep going!

NoSquirrels · 31/12/2017 10:45

Everyone in your house needs to start thinking of each room (and then each piece of storage furniture in that room) as a “container”.

It can only contain what is reasonable for that space. Each container has a firm boundary.

So, e.g. DD’s room. ALL her clothes must fit into her wardrobe & drawers. Once they are full, she needs to discard (or pay for her own storage solution elsewhere). ALL her business equipment must go into her room (or pay for her own storage solution elsewhere).

DS’s room ditto. ALL the Lego goes back in, and if he can’t store it he can’t sell it. Or he contributes to the cost of storage elsewhere.

It’s all very well saying “but their businesses can’t support it” but in fact, if their businesses don’t have a sustainable plan for all associated costs then, as you know, it is a false profit...

Plus, if your DP is partly the problem, perhaps pressure from someone other than you (I.e. the DC when they realise they’re being forced to downsize whilst their DF takes up all the storage) might help?