How the heck do people keep on top of running a home, family, work & still have time for themselves

[Honey1975]

Hi
I have a chronic condition which is well managed with meds but I would like to be able to make more effort to actually look after myself with the hope this might mean I can reduce the meds.

I woukd like to reassess my eating habits, meal plan healthier meals & actually make them, find some form of regular exercise that I can manage and stick to and maybe even a yoga class for relaxation. I'd also like to sort out my clothes & find some kind of low maintenance style to make dressing easier and shopping so that I don't traipse round the shops every so often for hours and come back with nothing!
Lastly I'd like to sort out our finances and get much better organised so we look after our money better.

I never get round to doing any of these self improvement things as I'm either at work, at home looking after dc's or doing the usual things; house stuff, school admin (of which there is masses!), food shopping (far too frequently due to lack of organisation with meal planning), running kids to clubs, dealing with general mountains of admin, even bigger mountains of washing & trying to have some quality family time at weekends.

I am frankly overwhelmed and due to my condition it doesn't take much for me to feel exhausted.

I realise this is the same for all mums. I'm just really looking for some advice and tips to sort my life out so that I can get it all done and have some time left for me to try & improve my health as best i can. Thanks for any help😄

Definitely online food shopping! I also try and fit some exercise in on my lunch hour at the local leisure centre.

Online grocery shopping is a godsend! I have a regular slot and can keep going back to edit my order until midnight the night before, which is great as our plans often change midweek.
Have you thought about booking a session with a personal shopper in a department store like Debenhams? There's no obligation to buy, you get a lovely drink and they bring everything to you! Once you've got an idea of what you want/like you could clothes shop online to save time.

Take a look at his idea of clothing bemorewithless.com/project-333/ starred by a women with MS who needed to simplify life. For food, are there small but better choices that you can make - like wholemeal pasta? Think small wins that you can build up. For the rest - if you find the answer then you have found the holy grail!! Do share.

Focus on one thing at a time. Spend your lunch break planning the weeks meals, then do an online shop that evening. Plan out when you have no commitments and look at gym classes or similar availability at those times. Do exercise with the whole family whenever possible.

Make a list at the start of each day of what needs to be achieved and who will do it.

Can you afford a cleaner?

Online shopping yes. There are some good healthy weekly meal plans on the internet.

A yoga class in the eve once a week? I'm assuming you have a partner. Or use Adrienne Yoga on YouTube. Really good and short.

Could you set aside two hours on a Sunday night to plan the week? Say 7-9pm and ask your partner to sort out the kids bedtime.

Meal plan for the week and set up an online shop. Think about when you will be able to fit in some exercise that week and write it in your diary. Spend 30 minutes organising your finances.

Yes to getting a cleaner if you can!

We just muddle through, we wash a load as soon as there is one, spend 20mins on essential housework per evening, 20mins sorting bills etc on Tuesdays after work and try not to stress over less essentials that don't get done- e.g. House hasn't been redecorated since 2008 and really needs it, but don't currently have the time to do it ourselves nor the money to pay someone else, so it will have to wait. We also have a repeating 3- week meal plan rotation of quick prep healthy meals (with a shopping list for each week) so don't have to keep thinking about/planning that.

Are you a single parent? My husband does half of that stuff which lets me do things that matter to me. That won't help if you live alone I realise.

Thank you it sounds like online shopping would be a help, just thinking which day would be best to have it delivered.
Any tips for meal planning please? I find this hard for several reasons; my dc's are fussy and don't like everything me & dh like, i want to eat certain things as suggested by my nutritionist that they would never eat, also I am just rubbish at cooking & lack ideas of things that I can make without too much difficulty ie chopping etc.

Thanks for that link Velocity i'll have a look.

Outsource!

Cleaner - at least 3 hours per week

Service wash at your local launderette (see if your local one offers a collect and drop back service)

Online food shop

I'm similar op, but a single parent which I'm not sure is better or worse 😂
I manage by actually prioritising my wants and needs. Once I'd act got my head round doing that, I seemed to manage better! It's a cycle. When I'm feeling well (have an autoimmune illness) I cope better with my daily/weekly workload.

I don't online shop as I am very close to shops, but I do try and meal plan a bit. Just an idea of four or five easy meals so that I get the right things in, and plenty of quick (mostly crap tbf) things the dc will do for themselves if I am out prioritising myself 😂
Housework in small doses, admin properly filed regularly so it doesn't get too much. Pay bills etc promptly so that I don't then forget.
Lastly dont be afraid to say No to anything you don't want to do!

I meal plan for the week and usually do a click and collect online shop to save time in the supermarket. I work part time and on my non work days I batch cook, making extras and freeze (although don't manage this every week!). I use a crèche so I can exercise a couple of times per week, as I'm often too tired in the evenings once dcs are in bed. On a good week I'll nip our for a run at the weekend as well. When it comes to clothes shopping, I tend to wait until I have a day's annual leave with nothing planned, as the dcs hate shopping! It's so important to take some time out for yourself, it keeps me sane . Tend to just do the essentials with housework day to day, and Hoover/dust etc 3-4 times per week when I can find the time. A cleaner would be fab! Like a pp said though we never seem to have time for bigger jobs like de cluttering, the decorating etc. Good luck.

You have to have a husband that can pick up the slack. If you're getting the finances sorted he has to be doing the laundry, if your meal planning he"s putting the kids to bed. It's imperative that this happens. Me and DH both work full-time and we have a cleaner and our life is well organised but only because both of us contribute to it

No not a single parent. My dh is very good and does help out with the more physical domestic tasks but certain things like the admin & school stuff is me. We get through it all together (just!) but I still never seem to have the time/energy to do the extra things to look after myself more proactively. Maybe that's just the way it is while dc's are still youngish.

I'm also a single parent, I work 4 days instead of 5 and I only have one child, so those things make my life much easier.

Also, I have a place for everything at home - a ribbon drawer, a present drawer, a holiday draw etc.

I also have a spreadsheet for everything - birthday list, finance lists, holiday list, packing list, Christmas list, meal list etc. I love organising things and I find spending an hour or two setting up a spreadsheet or a list can save years of time in the future.

Also, I clean once a week, for between 1 and 2 hours, never more.

neitehr of my husbands did anything and I wirked full time always but I only had one child. I made sure that as soon as they were old enough DS realised he had to do certain chores round the house, wash and iron his own clothes and learn how to cook in case I was out.
I didn't want him to treat me like a skivvy.
He did all of those things without complaining unlike the husbands who have gone.
You can only manage if everyone pulls together, one person should not be expected to do everything.

Keyboard keys are stuck excuse spelling!!!!

I'm in early pregnancy so feeling totally exhausted/nauseous/I'll at the moment, and things have slipped. (I'm in no way comparing my tiredness, with you, just acknowledging how difficult keeping on top of things is with 'normal' life plus something else such as an illness, or exhaustion on top).

Things that have helped me:
Cleaner 3.5 hrs per week. Does thorough once over of house plus ironing. (Expensive but life changing)
Online shopping
Batch cooking
Children have a sandwich for tea some days - they have a cooked lunch at school/nursery so I can't see an issue with this and it's quick!!
Deal with school admin as soon as it comes in and out form/money straight back in bags. (Stash of envelopes by front door)
Pin board for invites/letters - respond immediately
Present cupboard and various cards for birthday parties.
Commit to do an exercise class/walk/swimming with a friend at a set time each week - much harder to bail out that way and more motivating if there are 2 of you.

Good luck.
You'll get there!

Stereophonically my condition is also an autoimmune illness. What I find tricky is the unpredictableness of it. One day I could be absolutely fine, the next day in pain & shattered, then the next day fine again. I think that's why things get a bit chaotic as I might attempt something on a good day but then I can't finish it if the next day is a bad day. I really admire you doing this on your own, it can't be easy.

Namechanger I love the sound of your spreadsheets, I'd love to be that organised!

Instagram and Pinterest for food and meal ideas.
I have a quick flick through for inspiration before I menu plan and shop. Then write the menu on the fridge to prompt you to do any morning prep.

I do my school admin stuff (emails) in boring unavoidable work meetings. Also I make the children fill out any permission slips, so all I need to do is sign them.

i agree with other posters about setting a dedicated time each week to planning whilst your husband gets on with another duty. Initially you'll need need to remember to do it, but once it's turned into a habit for everyone it will follow into a routine.
Plan everything! If you're finding it hard to plan meals / budget then consider taking a look at a book called Economy Gastronomy which starts with a main ingredient / recipe from which other meals can be made. If not, Jamie's new book about healthy eating for the family is good - I'm working my way through that. If you have an oven that can be preset to switch itself on and off, or have a slow cooker then that will also save time.
I was in a similar position to you not that long ago and by forcing myself into new habits which the family just accepted without question has made a huge difference.
I promise that when you start planning and doing what you set out to do (not getting sidetracked or procrastinate) then 'extra' time will suddenly appear.
A brilliant piece of advice I was given was to be prepared to outsource - personal shopping is a good example (and free), and get a cleaner if you can afford it.
Best of luck!

Similar story here. I have a chronic illness and have two Dc with disabilities and one with ling term chronic condition. We both work.

Things we do / have to keep everything afloat.

Online grocery shopping, online clothes shopping. Weekly cleaner. Robot lawnmower. Tumble dry all clothes. Counselling for me as I have difficulty coping with it all.

Sorry to hear that Inever that must be incredibly hard. You sound like you have things well organised though.

For meal planning, keep a running list in your phone every time you see a recipe or think of a meal that you quite fancy. This will help you to quickly choose your meals for the week without getting bored of the same old stuff. Try to have a balance of quick and easy meals with recipes you can make double of at once and freeze.

Online shopping will save you lots of time as it will save your previous details, and you can book the delivery slot for a time when you'd be tied in the house anyway e.g when the dcs are in bed. You can also remove items from your basket before paying if you've gone over budget and you're less likely to accidentally buy things that you already have in the cupboards.

With the washing, try to consistently put things that don't need ironed straight away once dried to try and keep the clean washing pile to a minimum. I'm out of the house 6-6 most days so tend to check the weather app, and if its going to be dry, i'll set the washing machine off overnight, peg out on the line before i leave in the morning and take it in when i get home. I can usually put two thirds of it away right off the line.