How the heck do people keep on top of running a home, family, work & still have time for themselves

[Honey1975]

Hi
I have a chronic condition which is well managed with meds but I would like to be able to make more effort to actually look after myself with the hope this might mean I can reduce the meds.

I woukd like to reassess my eating habits, meal plan healthier meals & actually make them, find some form of regular exercise that I can manage and stick to and maybe even a yoga class for relaxation. I'd also like to sort out my clothes & find some kind of low maintenance style to make dressing easier and shopping so that I don't traipse round the shops every so often for hours and come back with nothing!
Lastly I'd like to sort out our finances and get much better organised so we look after our money better.

I never get round to doing any of these self improvement things as I'm either at work, at home looking after dc's or doing the usual things; house stuff, school admin (of which there is masses!), food shopping (far too frequently due to lack of organisation with meal planning), running kids to clubs, dealing with general mountains of admin, even bigger mountains of washing & trying to have some quality family time at weekends.

I am frankly overwhelmed and due to my condition it doesn't take much for me to feel exhausted.

I realise this is the same for all mums. I'm just really looking for some advice and tips to sort my life out so that I can get it all done and have some time left for me to try & improve my health as best i can. Thanks for any help😄

I don't have any health concerns luckily but I am a single parent. Meal planning is a real lifesaver, I use a pad with one week per page, write down once a week all the activities for the following week, plan the meals, I vary round theme to cover food preferences and write the shopping list.

I don't like online shopping so plan my shop to fit in as well.

What sort of school admin are you doing, does it include homework? If there's too much I'd just stop that, how old are your dcs? I'd just do the minimum of admin and do it at the same time as you plan your week.

Do you have breaks you could use as work to do some stuff.

For now I accept that exercise classes are bottom of the pile but I can live with that

The school stuff is just a constant stream of requests eg forms to fill in, school trip stuff, clubs & payment, summer fair requests, charity days, bring in this & that, money for this & that. Homework help & reading on top. I know it's standard stuff and the same for everyone but with it coming constantly from 2 different schools I just find i hard to keep up with it all and stress that I'm going to forget something! I get no time at work as I work until 2pm every day and then straight to school pick up.

I'd recommend a Bullet Journal to keep on top of it all. I know it sounds like a fad, but I feel so much more organised since I started one. I still have lots to do, but never have that 'stressed that I'm going to forget something' feeling. It relieves the mental load even if it doesn't remove the actual workload!

Hi,
I don't know how anyone does it full time, with a commute.DC tell me that their friends whose parents both work full time have cleaners and eat ready meals every night, so clearly it's pretty impossible to manage.

I work freelance, sometimes PT, sometimes full. A weekly online shop delivered at the same time each week helps - that way you have planned food for the week ahead. Always build at least 3-4 meals into that shop that are very low effort, so if you are shattered, they can be cobbled together in 5 mins. (E.g. chicken thighs with skins on can be tossed in garlic and herbs or paprika and tomato or yoghurt and mixed spices then baked and eaten with crusty bread or 4 minute noodles and salad - total prep time less than 10 mins. )
Buy frozen veg - it's prepped for you - and the peas, green beans etc are often much fresher than what you can buy in the veg section of the supermarket.

For keeping on top of the house, I use Flylady techniques. Just her easier ones: 5 min room rescues or 15 min blitzes - never more. They really do stop the place from being too horrible, though you may need to get a cleaner in to help with deep cleaning a few times a year.

And always keep a couple of four-hour blocks of time at the weekend free - one for doing something fun with DC like going to a film or on an outing and one for doing absolutely nothing - just watching TV or lazing in the garden. If you know you'll all have that down time it can help recharge you.

For those of you who order online please could you tell me which day of the week you have the delivery on & do you do any extra shops on top of that?

The hardest I ever had it was working until 2.30, 2 schools and torn every which way.

Full time is easier, and better for your pension, with the extra salary spent on outsourcing: cleaning, ironing, garden, children's activities or indeed an au-pair for some of those things and the childcare. Ours did the children's laundry, their rooms, dishwasher and childcare 3.30-6 which meant they kept up with teas and activities.

The key is preparation and no procrastination. Direct debits, post dealt with straight away, laundry put away straight away, next morning prepped the night before: school bags, uniform, shoes, kit all out and ready. Your clothes chosen and handbag charged with essentials.

I had to buy a cardboard bring forward file with dates, months, etc, to keep in control of school and activity shit. But that was before PayPal and everyone being digital.

Nowadays I run off one phone and one tablet and everything syncs into the diary. I do some work emails from home and vice versa.

Definitely on-line shopping and to cater for likes and dislikes I used to do insist some things were shared. Dd didn't like sauces so we had casserole and she'd have a lamb chop or burger.

It does get easier as the DCs get older and you can get them to eg do their homework at the table while you make tea instead of having to actually sit and do it with them. Also they can help with the little tasks-prepping school bags, finding uniform, changing loo rolls, even sorting the washing (though I still quickly check it!) as they get bigger.
We now have a list on the fridge for items that are running low and they write them on if they notice things like their favourite cereal. It's good handwriting practice too

I and dh both work full time with three dc to run around after.
To make life a little easier I spent hours over the course of a day off organising folders and filing paperwork and dealing with it accordingly. It took time initially but now once a week in my day off I sit for an hour and deal with any post/school stuff that was non urgent etc etc.
Then it's done for the week.
I also prep veg for meals in the mornings depending on what we r having.
Once a week I do a slow cooker meat dice the veg etc put it in slow cooker on low before I go to work.
I strip the four beds on alternative weeks. On a Sunday morning early il strip the kids and get the machine on and they're made again that evening.
School uniforms are all washed dried on a fri evening and hung ready so it frees the weekend up.
We sometimes do a food shop on a fri after work so it frees up the weekend.
We all eat a healthy diet and I take multi vits due to a lifetime condition but I feel great when I get a little time to myself.
On a sat evening depending on weather il sit out in garden to read my kindle.
I make a pamper evening for myself every now and then aswel so il do face mask body scrub shave everything,hair treatment etc.
Then il sit and paint my nails.
Makes me feel so much better xx

How old are your kids? Can they start with small things like separting the wash into whites and colours, putting in the machine?

Ofudging love that pamper idea, sounds very relaxing.

Ohtheroses that's what I find tricky, even though I'm part time hours because I finish at 2pm it leaves me no time to get anything done as I'm heading straight off for school.
I can see what you mean about preparation being key. This is probably where I'm falling down as sometimes I'm just to tired to do anything and then things fall behind.

DC's are 5 & 9. Youngest likes to help, the oldest doesn't😬 I think it's probably time I gave them some regular jobs to do to at least help out a little bit.

Great tips. I like milli have adapted Flylady techniques: setting a timer for 15 minutes on something is good, as is the advice to spend 15 minutes before bedtime getting everything ready for the next day to avoid crazy stressful mornings. That could be when you do permission slips and all that.

How much money do you have? We've spent about 1.5k on a massive fridge freezer, tumble dryer, robot Hoover, robot mop, cordless mower and a slow cooker. I also have more cheap, ikea storage than I need.

I'm on mat leave and had some health problems and I'm setting up a business. I need some down time!

During the week I aim to wash dry and put away a load of washing, set robot hoover off upstairs or downstairs, empty, fill and set off dishwasher, wash and sterilise bottles, put toilet cleaner down toilet, make tea everyday.

Once a week we clean and dust with wipes, mow lawn and go to Aldi or do Ocado shop. I do reading books on Thursdays and Sundays. Currently hw can be done anytime so we did it all in half term. School events and what is needed go in google calendar straight away. Slips or letters, party invites are stuck to front of massive fridge.

In terms of a meal plan, my dc that eats is picky so I tend to always have something they'll eat and supplement with more interesting things. E.g roast chicken, roast potatoes, peas, carrots, parsnips, celeriac, with the expectation dc won't have parsnips and celeriac. I'll get a delivery on a Monday but that's habit rather than worked out.

Massive freezer always has pizzas, fish, chips, croquettes, Yorkshire puddings, peas, sweet corn, broccoli, diced onions, peppers, mushrooms, garlic, bread, ice lollies, frozen fruit. Fridge always has cheese, milk, ham, yoghurt, carrots, potatoes, salad, apples. Cupboards always have chopped toms, tomato purée, herbs, stock cubes and instant gravy. We usually have roast dinner that does two days, spaghetti bolognaise, pizza and salad, sausages, mash and veg, steak, chips and salad and fish (salmon or breaded) with veg. It's samey but tasty and pretty healthy.

It can be done :)

Thanks Handbag some really useful tips. We are actually moving house soon and will have a bit of money to buy bits we need for the new place. I hadn't thought about buying things like this that could make life a bit easier, e.g. Slow cooker & big freezer. I will start researching this now!

Obviously you can buy chopped onions etc but I have a mini chopper that was about £14 off amazon. It's great for hiding veg but you can blitz down carrots, onions, celery etc for making sauces. Also good for salsa and guacamole. Might be worth a look at

Oh and make life easier for yourself! Nothing wrong with buying a ready roasted chicken, or frozen mash, or a tub of fresh pasta sauce

Ollivander the mini chopper sounds good, I'll take a look at that thanks.

There are some good organisation apps out there. Me & DH work full time and have 2 teenagers, but I had still been struggling to keep up with housework. I have been using the Motivated Moms Lite app for the past couple of weeks which is good (once I figured how to turn the daily bible thing off!) and includes housework and exercise. It's not as full on as Flylady.

Definitely gets easier once they are out of primary school though.

Thanks Wilderness, so being full time do you do your food shopping at weekend or online during the week?

I have a delivery saver deal so can use prime slots each week for food shopping.

Foodwise we have one day a week of something bread based - bacon sandwiches, pitta bread pizzas, steak baguettes so not "real" cooking, and another when DC have a picky tea and we have a ready meal.

We do all the laundry over friday night & Sat, do any ironing Sun night, all put away for Mon, then no laundry all week.

Reminders in your phone so you are not trying to keep it all in your head. I cover the fridge in "pending" school info like what to take on the next school trip, so not only I but also DH can find it if it falls on one of his drop off days.

Tinned fruit in the cupboard, in juice not syrup - shop once a week and use these for fruit towards the end of the week rather than doing a top up shop. No waste.

I think the truth is that we all cut corners somewhere, you have to choose what is most important to you and jettison the rest for a few years without regrets. You can live with dust/readymeals/too much telly or whatever and make peace with your priorities.
Re the PPs suggesting you plan the week while your husband puts the kids to bed- this sounds lethal. Women get automatically cast as CEO of the household, responsible for all the domestic and child related planning and thought. Which is totally knackering and unfair. Plan together, share the thinking as well as the doing. Can your DH be totally in charge of school paperwork? It sounds like that would free up some head space for you!

I also have an AI condition, and if I don't take care of myself I really struggle.

It's been a gradual thing, I am a single parent so get two child free nights which helps in some ways,

I now do a 30min gym class 3 lunchtimes a week (I work full time)

I also try to plan my meals, I tend to eat the same things each week so cooking becomes an autopilot thing, my DC won't eat the same as me either so I have easy go to meals and only offer 'different' food every other day so it's not a battle every night.

I started the blood sugar diet a month ago so now my clothes are all too big, shoppings a nightmare, I hate it. I tend to find a retailer that fits and order from there. All and I mean all of my officewear is from Boden

Might be harder for you depending on how you're feeling but for me it's about making the most of opportunities of time. So often I used to say 'I'm too busy' or 'I've not got time' and the truth was I did have time but was choosing the laze about in front of the Tv. It's like once it got to 7:30pm I felt like the time was gone so might as well laze about! Now I push myself to make use of time. So 30 minutes ordering birthday presents or sorting out a cupboard and then I can enjoy the tv and actually enjoy it much more. I always try to bear in mind that I have got the time, I just need to use it well!