How the heck do you get everything done plus more?! I'm sinking!!

[Honey1975]

I'm feeling totally overwhelmed by everyday life right now.
I work part time 8.30-1.00 every day and pick dc's up around 3.00pm.
It feels like it's never long enough to actually get stuff done.

Every day I receive at least one email from each school with something for me to action or plan for. I can barely keep up with it all.
We're trying to move house so I've got lots of paperwork related to that coming through too. It's all just getting shunted down my email inbox and I'm worried I'm going to miss something before too long.
Trying to keep house tidy for viewings which means a lot of stuff has been 'hidden' so now I can't find things when I need them.

I have kids appointment reminders stuck on the board to make, my regular routine now overdue blood test to get done, dd's bday parties to organise, Easter to think about, school hols to think about, finances to sort out and so on and so on.

It's all just mounting up and I'm barely even finding time to do a decent food shop! I'm ending up going to s'burys every flippin day for that night's tea!!

DH helps when he's here but is at times away with work. Then I have to sort childcare for mornings so I can get to work on time. When I'm at work my mind is racing thinking about all the things I have to do. Then I have loads to do at work.

Evenings I'm often shattered, chronic condition makes me very tired and can flare up with too much stress.

I realise that this is the same for every single mum but I'm looking for your advice and tips to tell me how the heck you manage to keep on top of things. Also realise being on here won't help get things done but I've got home and thought I don't know where to start so looking for inspiration please.

That's situation normal over here.
What really gets me is the fact that, no matter how organised I am, a couple of hours spent off The Schedule, let alone a few days with a sick kid, throws me right back to the point of overwhelm and I never catch up.

I meal plan, shop online, batch cook, get up early, work from home and try to fit in a cleaning 'break' from the computer every hour, have a set housework task to do every eve and I still get nothing done but the basics. I think that's partly down to me being responsible for all the mess the family leaves behind plus cleaning, cooking, child rearing and working. I'm permenantly exhausted.

I've heard the phrase "a woman's work is never done" all my life and not taken much heed. And now it's my reality. It's a bloody trap!!

Haven't read the whole thread so sorry if someone has said this..
Have you asked your employer of you can change your hours to do a full day/ longer days then have a complete day off. This is how I manage to get everything done.
Also cook very easy food that makes little washing up e.g. jacket potatoes, meal cooked in one tray (BBQ chicken, sausage, peppers etc), use quick rice, cous cous.
Get your computer obsessed child to look at school emails and put things in a diary or on post-it note lists. It takes a bit of training but can work and they might like the responsibility?
Can you do a children swap with a friend once a week or at least lift share to give slightly longer day?
Good luck.

Even if just for you and your DH, could you prepare some stews, soup etc and freeze?

Have to share this Brilliant recipe for sweet and sour chicken. Takes 15 mins, as rice is cooking. I usually put in more peppers, and add water chestnuts/bamboo shoots or mini sweetcorn. SO tasty.

I would second the idea of starting to declutter now. Even if you do only 1 shelf of books or one box of toys, it will be so much easier than doing in when you move.

Could you afford a cleaner to come in once a fortnight? About £20 for 2 hours but they could get a lot done, which frees up your time. Ditto, ironing. Our local launderette would do a shitload of ironing for about £12/15 a time and save me loads of time. Also, do kids uniforms really need ironing (if you do it). I'm always surprised at ironing of uniform, it's all non iron nowadays so why are ppl still doing it? Might be worth throwing a bit of money just for the short term while you are extra busy with the house move.

@bluebelltippytoes I would LOVE to see your rotating housework lists! I do love a good list.

After a reminder of how little time it actually takes to put the dishwasher on, I have just done it. I was always very proactive when I worked, I can't seem to muster the same focus when it comes to housework 😞

When I felt like there was too much to do, my mum made me write everything I wanted to do on post-it's, and then pick the top 5, then top 3, and finally top 1. It made me really prioritise, then I worked through the rest.

Running a house and working and having kids is just too much for one person, you've got to let a few things go to survive.

No real advice but similar here and school irritate the hell out of me.

I realise that this is the same for every single mum

But you're not a single mum?

Blinkyblink it is as in every single thing = everything. Single is used for emphasis rather than referring to a person who is a lone parent

Ok you've had lots of good advice on food so I won't add to that.

I will advise however to go through your stuff and chuck (or donate etc) at least one third of it. Honestly be ruthless. If you don't use it, wear it etc get rid. It's so liberating!! Place for everything, everything in its place and no shit just littering up everywhere. Honestly stuff you hold into 'just incase' you just don't need.

Once this is done it's so much easier to keep your house tidy. And when your house is tidy it's so much easier to keep it clean.

That's correct SanBlas I'm not a single mum, I meant all mums!

Underparmummy I could actually give myself a part time admin job based just on the amount of stuff I get home from schools to organise!!

Ah! Thanks for clarity.

Make a list, sit down and go through it
Shop online
Ignore stuff from school and PTA unless vital
Skip homework and after school clubs when the going gets tough
Get husband to help

I second the great advice on here.

I am a single parent, I work full time and have 3 kids... here's the things I've tried over the years:

I sometimes get up extremely early, e.g. 04.30 or 5am to catch up on bits and pieces I never get round to, but I am a morning person, and if you have chronic fatigue etc, that's a no-go.
I abandoned ironing ages ago
I do have someone who comes in cheaply to clean once a week: do you have that / could you do that?
When I have really busy periods at work I get the same lady to prepare meals and put them in the fridge. Do you have a mum or neighbour who could do something similar whilst you go through your move?
Quite frequently I do 'give up' a whole Saturday or Sunday to get through big jobs like a major spring clean/seasonal clothes change over / massive toy tidy etc. I get the kids involved (13, 8, 6) and we celebrate with a pizza and movie after to make it fun
I use those handy wipes to clean as I go around sinks etc (can be eco-friendly)
My kids get themselves up and make breakfast in the morning; I use this time 'saved' to bung on a wash, empty dishwasher etc
Filing and paperwork I sometimes take to a nice cafe, makes it more pleasant, and I tackle it there: could you do that between work and school pick-up and address school emails/cards/ etc?

Lastly - even when I am overwhelmed I make time to exercise. Otherwise I go completely bonkers. Even a walk or a home workout will reduce your 'overwhelm' feeling. Could you have a walk between work + school to clear your head? Maybe walk and jot down your to-do list or catch up on calls.

Finally, the system "getting things done" (its a book) by David Allen transformed my life and the way I do things! Highly recommend it! I was looking for a 'System for Life' and someone recommended it. There's a community on line too, called GTD. Its not just for businesspeople, its for anyone, check it out.

Good luck, you can do it, and you'll feel great when you've done everything!

Shop online for absolutely everything.

For tasks, I use an app called Todoist which is brilliant.You can schedule tasks and set reminders, each morning I look at what I have to do that day and don't ever work through it. ..if you have a lot to sort out by mail, Mail Butler is also great but I think is Apple Mail only...means you can schedule mails to go out at particular times, and you can make a note to follow up a mail on a particular date if you've had no reply. You can "snooze" emails if you can't deal with them right away but need to be reminded about them later, and you can synch it with Todoist so your mail reminders go straight onto your list. I promise I don't work for these companies but I have found them genuinely helpful for all I'm not much of a one for apps.

I also use GoogleCal for appointments and look at it every morning before leaving the house or I forget all of that too

I'm certainly no domestic goddess but one thing has really made a difference, a small diary in my handbag. Honestly a deal changer. On the phone to ulities, write case numbers, dates etc. Open the post/ emails/ write down deadlines for things, insurance renewal/ school costumes/ swimming term finished. Even things like Dh -pub- match. Check online banking every few days write in the balance plus whatever needs paying that week eg car tax, owe mum a tenner.
My house is still a tip but even that bit of organisation has really helped that frazzled feeling.

Thanks so much for all the suggestions, I am sitting down tonight to read them all properly. 7Days that's interesting what you say about having a small diary in your bag. I have used the calendar on my phone for a while mainly because I like the reminders that pop up. However when it comes to being able to view a week at a time I find it hard to see on an electronic calendar, I prefer to see it written down.
Does anyone use both so you can see it written down but still have the reminders pop up?

I use google calendar. It syncs between my phone and computer and I print it out now and again when I am scheduling a lot by phone on the hop or want DH to update his diary (he has paper diary only).

I am with you, I am a perfectionist and get really stressed when the house is a mess. No good telling me to just let standards slip, great if you can though. My need to be clean and tidy causes tension between me and DH because he thinks I do too much. I work full time split between two jobs and even though my kids are older its hard. Moving house is just going to add a layer of stress but generally my tips are:

Declutter - massively. If the house is tidy cleaning is a doddle. Most of us have far too much stuff. Read the Kon-Mari book and see if that helps.

Do a small amount of housework every day no matter how tired you are - its amazing how much you can actually get done in half an hour.

I get up earlier than I need to just to clean.

Ditch the ironing basket. As soon as a load is dry, fold it, iron what absolutely has to be ironed and put it away.

Always finish what you start. Try not to leave pots on the draining board, take the recycling out to the garage or wherever as soon as its rinsed, put clean washing away, give the worktops a good wipe down when you wash up or load the dishwasher after tea.

Batch cook or make double and freeze half. Mealplan, sit down and work out what you are having for tea each night for a week then shop for those meals.

Delegate - make the kids and DH responsible for doing their own jobs even if its just something small like getting the kids to make their beds and keep their own rooms reasonably tidy.

Swish the bathroom every day with a cleaning wipe, scrub the shower while you are in it.

Make lists and plan. I have a notebook where I write down things I have to do. I carry it everywhere with me and although I have an app on my phone I still like my notebook!

If you see something that needs doing - try and do it there and then. If you see dust or something sticky grab a cloth and sort it, or ask someone else to do it.

I hope this doesnt sound preachy, these are just things that I do. I once got sucked into thinking "whats the point, I am just completely overwhelmed" but actually keeping chipping away at it works. If you feel absolutely shattered set the kitchen timer for 30 minutes and get everyone tidying and cleaning. Even the youngest can run around the house finding things that are in the wrong place and rehoming them.

Anything that is a five minute job or less, just do it, get it done. Don't muck around ACTION IT NOW.

Most of our lives are five minute jobs. Procrastinating makes them pile up and makes them worse.

I do one job a day so that at least I feel I have accomplished something. Usually, laundry is done everyday and so is cooking and clearing up afterwards but, it'll be something small like cleaning the mirrors or a quick hoover.

I agree with those who say deal with admin stuff there and then and, also, that, some of the school stuff, you can ignore.

Shopping, i must admit, I can't quite get the hang of it. There's only so much you can bulk buy. If you need fresh stuff, it's better on the day or maybe the day before. I do use local shops, though, and have loads of them and I normally pop to them straight after the school run.

I am good at wasting time, too - like getting stuck on here.

Don't forget to allocate some time to yourself so, if you are back at 1.30, give yourself half an hour unwind time to do whatever you like guilt free.

Also, please, please stress to your DH (I know I've not done this til recently), that, just because your working day finishes at 1, it does not mean you are not busy. Children create work - lots. Do not be afraid to get him to step up when he gets home. The evenings are busy and it's all hands on deck until the kids are a lot more independent and can do stuff for themselves.

Some of these ideas might have been mentioned already...

For online shops, I have found Ocado the best. Food has longer 'use by' dates. I pay for a delivery pass and get two deliveries a week - one early sat morning and a top up on wed night. Sometimes I do top up on wed/thurs myself instead of getting a delivery.

Can you afford a cleaner? If you're thinking its easier to not work in order to manage the household, it's better to invest money in a cleaner rather than leave work altogether.

Clothes washing is a pain. I stick one load in washer before leaving for work. When I get home I transfer to the dryer. I put clothes away while getting kids ready for bed - e.g. when they're in bath, brushing teeth, getting PJs on, I am buzzing around putting clothes away. I don't iron - just give clothes a good shake.

For diary, I use calendar on my phone. I tried using a pocket calendar in conjunction with it but couldn't keep up with updating both. I do have a weekly planner on the kitchen wall where I fill everything in at the weekend - means we can see what's coming up in week easily (mufti days, clubs, school trips, birthday parties, visitors - all goes on the kitchen planner).

Pay for Amazon Prime. If DC have parties, you can order stuff for next day delivery and remove stress of shopping for presents / cards / wrapping paper (I also keep a stock of cards and paper).

I also agree you should get DH to help more. It's really hard being a part timer and responsible for all the house and DC planning and thinking. He may be working hard but is he pulling his weight with house admin - sorting bills, paperwork etc?

Making lists doesn't work for everyone but I find it makes things much easier. I write a list at the beginning of the week of jobs that need doing and rewrite it every few days. Then when I've finished the everyday tasks I look at the list and see what I have time for. Sometimes I can fit a bigger task in and sometimes I do something quick and easy that I can't tick off. But every day I do have lots of half hour breaks in which I just sit about doing what I want to do like writing, reading, browsing or gardening. It makes me feel as though I'm balancing life better.

I struggle to keep on top of things at times and so have been making a conscious effort to simplify. DH and I both work full time very long hours. I do work from home though a couple days a week which helps.

I don't think we do anything that is different from others on the thread really but we do the following:

Cleaner - she's here now and the place would fall apart without her. I appreciate that not everyone can afford a cleaner but even a couple of hours a week makes a difference. Cleaner also changes beds and towels.

A 10 minute morning routine. - Every single morning I take the clean clothes out of the drier, put wet clothes into the drier and put another load on. In the summer the DC hang them on the line if there is time but there often isn't (when the DC get home from school they sort and fold the dry clothes from that morning and put them away). The DC unload the dishwasher whilst breakfast is being made and then its reloaded with the breakfast things and put on. I then wipe down kitchen work surfaces and put on the roomba. This all takes 10 minutes and helps me to keep on top of things.

Sunday I batch cook/prepare three meals for the week. Two go into the fridge for monday and tuesday and one goes into the freezer. Everyone eats the same whether they like it or not (within reason - clearly I don't cook meals that someone absolutely detests). If they don't eat it then they can't be that hungry. I also tend to do a batch of cookies so that the DC have a snack for school sorted out and I don't have to think about it.

All school uniform is ironed on a sunday morning in front of the TV and then the DC hang it up ready. DC have to clean their shoes and get all of their various kits ready for the week and hung up on pegs so that they can just grab the relevant bags each morning.

We have a regular online grocery shop set up and this saves masses of time.

DH and I are trying to take 10 minutes on a sunday night to coordinate diaries for the week and make sure nothing is missed.

DC do a fair bit. At 9 your eldest should certainly be helping. Mine are 9 and 12 and along with the dishwasher in the morning and the laundry in the evening they do various other things to help around the house. They also feed the animals and have little things that they are responsible for like making sure there is toilet roll in all of the bathrooms and clean hand towels. Most days they clean and tidy the kitchen after dinner.

I have just succumbed to amazon prime. It seems expensive but it has transformed my life in terms of forgotten birthdays etc.

My top tip is to have a basket or box by the front door for school shoes ONLY. That way the kids always know where there shoes are and don't spend ages in the morning faffing to find an odd shoe. Simple, but with enough nagging they soon get the hang of it and it's one less thing to be thinking about in the rush to get out the house on time!

What are you doing between getting home from the school run and, for example, your husband getting home? I must confess to being a little surprised that you are struggling so much, given your circumstances. Your children are of an age where they don't need constant supervision, and you finish work at 1pm? Use the hour that you have at 1:30 on household admin and laundry. After you pick up the kids, use that time for cooking the dinner, tidy round, putting laundry away. Both of your children should be putting their own clothes away. Online shopping is a life changer!