How the heck do you get everything done plus more?! I'm sinking!!

[Honey1975]

I'm feeling totally overwhelmed by everyday life right now.
I work part time 8.30-1.00 every day and pick dc's up around 3.00pm.
It feels like it's never long enough to actually get stuff done.

Every day I receive at least one email from each school with something for me to action or plan for. I can barely keep up with it all.
We're trying to move house so I've got lots of paperwork related to that coming through too. It's all just getting shunted down my email inbox and I'm worried I'm going to miss something before too long.
Trying to keep house tidy for viewings which means a lot of stuff has been 'hidden' so now I can't find things when I need them.

I have kids appointment reminders stuck on the board to make, my regular routine now overdue blood test to get done, dd's bday parties to organise, Easter to think about, school hols to think about, finances to sort out and so on and so on.

It's all just mounting up and I'm barely even finding time to do a decent food shop! I'm ending up going to s'burys every flippin day for that night's tea!!

DH helps when he's here but is at times away with work. Then I have to sort childcare for mornings so I can get to work on time. When I'm at work my mind is racing thinking about all the things I have to do. Then I have loads to do at work.

Evenings I'm often shattered, chronic condition makes me very tired and can flare up with too much stress.

I realise that this is the same for every single mum but I'm looking for your advice and tips to tell me how the heck you manage to keep on top of things. Also realise being on here won't help get things done but I've got home and thought I don't know where to start so looking for inspiration please.

can you condense your hours, so you do 4 longer days, then have a whole day off which gives you the "getting on with big jobs" time - blitzing the house etc?

I would fritter away the period between work finishing and school collecting.

You could get a few regular bits and pieces done once they are back from school....I find my youngest zones out before tea - watches tv etc. The older one has homework - so gets changed and gets on with it....so I can tidy round and get dinner on.

I feel the same about not having enough time to get everything done which then leads to me not doing anything. I'm now trying to break things down into smaller, more manageable jobs!
I have a tendency to think well I'm not going to be able to clean/tidy the whole house and do 3 loads of laundry and make dinner and clean the windows in an hour so I end up not doing anything. This week I'm think what can I do in an hour and getting on with it so that is one thing ticked off the list that I don't have to worry about on my day off.
It's actually surprising how quickly I can get through some jobs and manage to do another in the time I allocated to one.
Once you start getting some of the smaller jobs done it motivates you to keep up with them and will then free up some time on your days off to get the bigger things done.
I agree about school though.... it feels like there is always something going on that they need money for/costumes/helpers. I try to fill out any forms or organise costumes or send in money whenever I get the letter as otherwise I'm likely to forget and end up feeling like worlds worst mum!
It's definitely not easy running a house, raising kids and working but I think the key is to get a good system going and also not being so hard on yourself

Family I've been getting like that too thinking I haven't got long enough to complete a task so end up doing nothing!

Definitely agree about working four days if you can. It would only be an hour or so extra per day and you'd have all day Friday free. Imagine that... 0830 to 1450 for getting stuff done every week. I used to work four days and it was truly brilliant for my sanity.

One thing I have started is a rotating housework list. So, I set my timer and spend an hour on housework every day. I just attack whatever is on the top of the list, then the next thing, then the next. I'm not allowed to stop, have a cup of tea, look at my phone or anything else. It's amazing how much you can do in an hour.

I also have other categories, 30 minutes of exercise, etc.

I work full time... DP works part time in the evenings. He does cooking, washing, shopping getting kids ready etc (one at school one is nearly 1). My main organisation tips are

1. Pad on fridge to note stuff down as soon as it's thought of
2. A shared Google calendar with DP so as soon as I become aware of a date that needs remembering I set it in the calendar, invite him to it and do reminders for the day before in the form of alarms

My reminder alarms are my life. I don't know what I'd do without them.

When you get your new house get a massive freezer.
If you're proper good, batch cook.
If you're not, veggies, pizza, aunt bessies and various other cheats. More to frozen food than turkey twizzkers these days.

Well stocked freezer + certain fridge staples + store cupboard = less panic shopping.

It's a time saver ... so busy last week no one could fit in a delivery on an online shop even, we still ate well with no waste.

You sound normal to me. I don't know anyone that has moved house with children and found that stress free.

You need to write everything down in one place, get a nice notebook or use the function on your phone and write everything in that one place as it pops into your head like: submit meter readings, make doctors appointment, online food shop, dd party, birthday invites, dd presents so you can check your list and tackle ONE thing at a time, get it done and score it off. It sounds simple but to me it feels like the bundle of stress inducing jobs are taken out of my brain it's now the lists problem and it feels great scoring them off.

Make some time for yourself like get a massage on of those free hours between work and school you need a break. Or at the weekend when dh can take over just have some scheduled time that's not for mum or house jobs it's just for looking after you and your mental health.

Get boxes and start packing now you will have a heap of stuff that you don't need for the next couple months, it will take away that overwhelming feeling when it's moving day and it will help so much with getting space and declutterd. you'll find a heap of stuff to chuck and it will make you feel better. You'll also find some of your missing things

Get your paperwork sorted to get a couple huge ring binders and pollypockets and make sections for everything and then you can leisurely just make your way through changing address on your accounts when it moving day or time to renew your can insurance.

If you can afford it while your working then try and get a cleaner, we've got a company that comes in once a fortnight so I do most of it all the time but every second week the place looks amazing because they catch all the wee jobs I might neglect or not do as well as them. If it's not something you would want regularly then maybe just a once off deep clean and then again in a month or two when you're feeling overwhelmed.

When you're at work do the absolute best you can and forget about all the other personal jobs you have to do, you might get to finish on time more and will feel like a break from home life that you need and that you're getting something right.

Online weekly shop is great idea you'll meal plan in your head instead of just grabbing a trollyload of stuff that might not make up proper meals, it will remember your family favourites. And you can try and get some other bits like party invites, cake, presents while you are online with your bank card.

You can do it and sorry if I sound like a bossy boots

I feel your pain. I finish work around 2 most days, home for 2.30. If I finish at two I pop into supermarket on the way home. Family of three here but we are always needing to top up on fruit, work lunches and odds and sods.
I come home and I can't be bloody bothered. There is always washing to hang up, washing to put away. Dinners to cook, washing up, bathing dc and tidying up their crap too. Dh is home at seven so no use really. I love to sit and watch my soaps but often miss them trying to tidy up...and God forbid if I leave the cleaning a day, it ends up double the work and effort. 😡

I started working full time (within school) in Sept when my youngest started reception. It's the first time I've worked 5 days a week since having my eldest who is 9.
It has taken a while, but we have all adjusted to me working more and being home less. I have recently started using bullet journalling (you tube and Google it) as a way to organise my life and so far so good. Each Sunday I sit and complete a week so I know what's happening. I meal plan and try to shop only twice after school each week. I aim to do one load of washing (wash dried and folded) a day then spend Sunday evening putting it away and ironing uniform for the week. I also aim to do a chore each day. These are aims and I don't beat myself up about it if it doesn't get done.
I get my daughters to help and offer pocket money for each job.
It's not easy and sometimes some weeks just don't work out (we are all full of cold it's week so it's just not happening at all) but each week is a new start and we try again.

Hi, I know how you feel. It can be very difficult sometimes but having a good routine really could benefit your family, I am a mum to 5 boys age 13, 9, 7, 5 and 11 months, I work full time as does my partner and in all honesty if it wasn't for us have a good routine we would be screwed!

Our routine starts at 6am until 9pm everyday, we have childcare runs, school runs etc etc I start at 7.15am-3.15pm Sunday to Thursday so we are always on the go. Get your husband to split the duties and don't stress too much, spend as much time with your children and husband and chill once bedtimes are over and have a bubble bath! (Currently in my bubble bath haha)

I work 10-3 on two days (10-2 on the other & 9-1 on a Sat)and my boys (7 & 4) go to after-school club on these days, just because it saves my sanity as I am not rushing to collect them etc..

As they are there, all safe, I can do small errands before I collect them but they are usually picked up by 4pm. On these days I just do the basics and we have easy meals, cooked & prepared in 20/30 mins.

I use one night a week for "paperwork" and that night I also plan my weekly meals and order online.

My Hubby also does the cooking at the weekend i.e Fri night, sat & sun lunch and dinner and I do the rest plus kids lunches. As all the food is delivered I don't need to do food shopping in the week except maybe for some bread but even that is very rare as I use pitta's, wraps, brioche and ciabatta bread which all have a longer shelf life.

Washing is done on a Friday, ironing Sunday morning and beds stripped, bathrooms cleaned Tuesday and on Wednesday I might do the vacuuming if I feel like it, but as Hubby does that plus the polishing on Sat morn I usually skip it! as I am a lazy fucker

As a previous poster has said if it is not on the calendar it's not happening (this includes Hubby's jollies - he has learnt the hard way!) and I have a friendly black bag that comes out most evenings if the kids haven't tidied away their toys/mess/junk. They are warned! I use post it notes for hubby, he has 7 days to move something that is in the way or it is gone (the kids love this will actually change the countdown on it for me without asking!)

Throw away EVERYTHING that is broken or no longer used (donate if necessary) and let hubby sort out his own family birthdays/christmas etc.

And if anyone asks you to do stuff for them, by all means say yes if you want or just do what I do and laugh loudly and say "I have two small children, I don't have time to wee let alone sort that out for you" Saying no is really liberating and letting go of the guilt is harder but it gets easier with practice.

House moves are stressful - I did two in a 9 month period so having a notebook with everything in is a godsend. Front of notebook existing house, back of notebook new house! (You flip the notebook upside down iyswim). Keep the notebook in your handbag, as you never know when you will need it!

My motto is "if YOU are moaning about it, then it is important to YOU, so YOU sort it!"

p.s I don't moan about much!

I agree it is too overwhelming. You could spend all day and night sorting house,chores, kids and get no thanks for it. Then it starts again the following day. My way of coping is have a hobby I love and to Prioritise time with.kids, give them attention. I now live like a man in terms of when im tired i sit and watch telly like dh does and.leave the dishes. Otherwise u wd never stop.
Obviously food is vital and takes a lot of time. There simply isnt enough hours in the day to do everything.Needless to say my house isn't a show home but it's OK and I'm happy. What will u remember when kids go. Not the tidy uncluttered draws but fun stuff and cuddles on sofa watching a movie

Thank you all very much for the replies, there are some really helpful ideas. Several people have mentioned meal planning and
I have to confess I am rubbish at this for the folllowing reasons;

-2 dc's who can be fussy and also like different things to each other😬
-both dc's have school dinners,some days they will eat lots of it and other days hardly anything so never sure what they are going to want for tea. Also I have often served up the same thing they had at lunchtime!
-lack of new ideas, we have the same old things all the time which I'm bored to tears of. Sometimes I go to the supermarket and just wander round without a clue what meals to buy!
-DH & I like to eat later so end up cooking twice and often feel too tired
-DH & I like more interesting food then the dc's.
-when's the best day to have an online shop delivered, in time for the weekend or on Monday ready for the week ahead?
-past experience with online orders was that everything fresh had to be eaten within 2-3 days.

Any advice please to deal with these challenges?

If I could just get myself organised with this one area I think it would be a good start and I would feel better that I am doing my best to feed everyone well.

If you're running yourself into the ground your going to get ill. If a day off work is an option to get your shit together that might be a good idea.

Say NO to some things that are stressing you, not of direct benefit to you or your family etc.

Shop online.
Give a shit a bit less about certain stuff. If you are a serial ironer pack that up, iron things well and don't iron things that don't need it like bedding.
It's the 80/20 rule. You do not have time to give 100%, so don't kill yourself trying. If 80% is good enough then don't push yourself hard for the extra 20% that in the grand scheme of things doesn't matter.

No procrastinating.

If you can afford it the occasional help around the house will make you feel so much better.

For meals. Planning is my problem when I'm stressed. But try if you can it does make you feel better. Buying chopped frozen veg for things like making a ragu, not dicking about chopping an onion when you have a million things to do.

Tv Facebook etc are all thieves of time.

Getting up before the kids is shit but a godsend n terms of you feel like you can do so much before the day has even begun. If you're struggling with the house paperwork etc get up an hour earlier - get it done, and you'll feel so much better for the day ahead etc etc.

Wandering round the shops!! You do not have time for that for sure. Online shopping takes getting used to but stick with it. I rarely go to the shops. I would dither about and buy loads of crap I don't need.
Meal planning is ag especially given your parameters but it's still do able.
Do meals that you can prep in advance like bolognese. I like watching short Facebook videos for cooking ideas and save them for later use. So easy to get stuck in a rut.

You said work is pressured too. Could you do one longer day there and then a shorter one? To give you bigger chunks of time.
I.e. One day til whatever time you need to leave for school run and then next day in late or finish earlier ?

Is work from home 1 day a week an option? Just to reduce travel and then can have loads of washing going on whilst at home more etc.

I feel a bit the same. I finish 2 days at 2 which is great but by time I get kids from 2 diiferent schools then home and quick snack and lifts to after school clubs it's a rush for dinner and chores & housework keep mounting up. Would u be able to change your hours to get a full day off? I've often thought this would help to get stuff done while kids in school. But I don't have a lot of childcare help so I am sticking with the 2 pick ups for now. I'm off next 2 weeks for Easter and hoping to catch up with some stuff then in the house xxx

Its hard work. I have 3DC (8,6 and 6 months) and work full time. We're out the door at 7.15am every morning and I get home around 6.15pm at night. I find since #3 has been born that I just have lower standards. So, the older kids don't get a bath every night. We eat more take out, the kids often get school lunch instead of packed lunches. Cleaners come once every 2 weeks. I do not stress the small stuff....100% agree with ignoring that majority of what comes home from school, especially all the PTA stuff. I just write them a large cheque at the start of the school year and then ignore everything else they do. We moved last year when I was about 6 months pregnant, and at that point I would get up really early in the morning and hoover/tidy everything away in case we had a viewing that day. Luckily it didn't take long, but it meant getting up about 5am for a bit. It can be overwhelming, so don't let it get you!!! Just be realistic about what you can get done!!

I am full time parent husband is in full time uni and I work about twenty hours a week. I threw away all clutter (everyone was slightly devastated for five seconds) we eat easyish food, the house is clean ish. I will sit down for the entire time he's at school 12.45 till 3.15. this is my time and what doesn't get done is tough poo frankly. I've been doing this for three years and realised I was going to kill myself at this rate. So I prioritse me now in this child free time or I'll strike. Which I did to the nonausment of my family. But they get it now. I bulk buy and prioritse alot better than I did. I am a lot happier now. I'm not superwoman and have no support for a break. So now I put me first just alittle .. just for two hours a day. ;)

We're a slightly different set up (DH and I work FT and we have a nanny - I'm out the house from 8am to 7pm)

Here's what works for us:

Saturday morning - DH does fresh food shop (with or without the DC depending if I go swimming with or without them) based on a list I make, based on the meals we plan to make over the weekend.

Every other week, DH does a huge supermarket shop on the way home from work and stocks up on non perishables (yes it means he gets back late one night but he's rarely back before the DC are in bed anyway). For that shop I have a master list printed of absolutely everything we might need to buy at the supermarket and I highlight what we are running out of as and when.

I batch cook a lot, especially for the DC who don't always eat the same as us. So the nanny just defrosts and reheats a meal for them. Or does something easy like pasta and a jar sauce.

In the week I eat at the work canteen and in the evening grab a sandwich. DH makes himself a quick meal in the evening (pasta with breaded chicken or fish or sausages - he's not fussy and mostly it's stuff from the freezer). DH and I never eat together in the week.

We have a weekly cleaner.

I have kondoed the flat and regularly chuck out with no remorse random bits of clutter / broken toys / clothes that don't fit/look scruffy/I should never have bought in the first place...

We're lucky that the nanny deals with most the washing, but when she goes next year I'll start off a wash on a delayed timer before going to work and set off the dryer as soon as I get home from work. It needs doing every day (pretty much) to keep on top of it.

I internet bank at work and use my breaks to internet shop for clothes etc.

Oh I'm the same. Finish at 2:30, home in time to pick up from school. I need some kind of de cluttering tricks, my kids seem to be hoarders! They won't even let me throw away sweet wrappers! There is so much crap in my house! Agree about online shop, I don't meal plan but just make sure there is enough to make a few meals. I also agree that when you set a timer you realise how little time things take esp. dishwasher unloading! Also set a timer and do 15 mins in a room. 15 mins in bathroom etc. Also get kids to help, put bins out, Hoover, mine make dinner once a week each, this is actually more time consuming but hoping it will pay off in the long run and they can do it by themselves.

Oh and I make vats of soup and have it for lunch every day for three weeks!