May-be this time - Fledglings flutter through May 2016 (Flylady thread)

[CotswoldStrife]

Welcome all - and thanks to SpareCrust for leading us through April.

If you are struggling with C.H.A.O.S. (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome) and S.T.U.F.F. (Something That Undermines Family Fun) then this is the thread where we (loosely) follow the step-by-step Flylady housekeeping system (in our own unique, relaxed style) with lots of support and chat along the way.

Link to the Flylady website

Don't let the somewhat sickly and barftastic language of the site put you off: the underlying system is sound!

This little-and-often system is designed so that you can follow a series of steps and routines each day (which gradually become second nature) in zones of the house which are designated weekly; defining and minimising housework; which in theory should leave you with loads more time to do something more interesting instead!

At the same time it is intended to reduce that panicky "rabbit in headlights" feeling when you are overwhelmed and everything needs doing all at once. No problem if you miss a day or two; just jump right back in and it will all come around next month again!

It's up to you, but we advise not signing up to receive the Flylady e-mails as you will be swamped with masses of bumph. All the information you need will be linked here on a daily basis.

From the first of the month, we will be following Flylady's steps and routines using a three-pronged approach (dependent on the stage everyone is at):

• start or repeat baby steps
• repeat baby steps + do 15 minutes a day decluttering in the current zone
• reinforce babysteps and do daily missions if you have finished decluttering.

** And if you are really enthusiastic and have finished decluttering - you can go on to detailed deep cleaning in each zone.

There are three key points to keep in mind throughout:

• No perfectionism allowed - this is harder than you would imagine and many of us on this thread struggle with this one.
• You are never behind - just start where you are and anything you do is progress.
• It didn't get into a mess overnight - it won't get tidy over night - accept it will take time to get on top of things.

If you are new; then trying to spend 15mins decluttering daily and doing the babysteps is a good way to start. Some of us (mentioning no names!) can have scary looking ‘ta-da’ lists but don't let that worry you. Do what you can, anything is better than nothing, and don't judge yourself against others.

If all else fails, a brew + the power of three technique + a bit of support on here can work wonders!

Here's the launch pad for more experienced fledglings

Oh and don’t let it put you off if we appear a bit cliquey, we really aren’t! . Some of us have been on here for years and some of us natter rather a lot – but all lurkers, intermittent returnees, oldies and newcomers are very, very welcome!

WhoKnows - sorry to hear you are finding things so trying at the moment. Hope things get better soon. Forget the to-do list for now and focus on your DC and your exam. And I can totally relate to having to lose your rag in order to make DH's pull their fingers out.

SC another foiled plan? How depressing; I don't suppose there is a plan C in the pipeline?

Untidy some great flying going on, glad you are enjoying the thread.

Well we have had one hell of a day here...

I have decluttered the sofa - sold it on Facebook ahead of our new ones arriving at some point in the not too distant future...

Arranged for DH's old keyboard/organ thing to be donated to a local school on Saturday.

But most importantly, and fingernail-bitingly stressful and frustrating is the house move stuff. We had a couple come to view our house this morning and made us an offer which we have accepted. So house sold in principle in less than 24 hours of being on the market. The dream-home we put an offer in for has another couple also wanting it, so we are having a bidding war. Both sides have had to put in a 'best-and-final-offer' and we find out who the victor is tomorrow. AAARRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Oh, and DS has gastroenteritis, so D&V every few hours, very little sleep last night and not holding out much hope for tonight either. Plus DH has decided he too is also feeling ill. Next it'll be the cat coming in a puking up some disagreeable roadkill...

Whoknows emotional daughters are really draining. Dd is a bit better than she used to be, but still gets in states about being "fat", not having anyone to go shopping with at the drop of a hat, not going on a villa holiday, the wrong clothes, me being fat, Dad being fat, our house is the wrong style, our car is the wrong car. At least I now take it with a pinch of salt, before I used to feel completely sucked in to her apparent unhappiness and all these operatic disasters. The only thing she doesn't seem to stress about is her academic achievements, I don't think she worries about that much .

I've put my back out, I'd forgotten how awful it is when you cannot BEND DOWN..I have to slowly descend on my leg muscles, and then am in some doubt as to whether I will ever be able to stand up again without falling over. I need hand rails Dh had to help me up when I tried to put something in the bottom of the fridge or I would have pulled the whole fridge door off using it as a support.

Needless to say, he has had to cook supper. Despite his day being Sat and Sun. Ds1 has suddenly become very sullen and grouchy and is refusing to do revision, yet again. Which puts dh in a bad mood. I give up.

Gosh Grey that is fantastic your house sold so fast Fingers crossed for the new house offer; it did look wonderful. But there will always be other houses. We were gazumped for our first marital home; it was in a different area to where we live now, and I always wonder what our life would have been if we hadn't been gazumped, certainly the schools wouldn't have been the same trajectory.

not bored just crazy and avoiding flying.

Who - Sorry you're having a tough time

SC- thanks for the encouragement. And I'm so glad that book is such a success. Ds2's childminder lent it to me when DS2 was going through one of his phases; it's such a wise and funny book.

knitting - what you say about revising at school is encouraging, but I'm still pretty certain DS doesn't know enough. No point agonising over it though. He has learned a lesson.

What is astonishing, considering he couldn't even leave the house a year and a half ago, is that he went into school easily today and didn't even seem very stressed by the Biology exam (luckily, because his needs are now being met, he was able to sit the exam on his own with just an invigilator, so that helped). Annoyingly, after he asked to be allowed to sit the higher paper, it turned out that he was still being set the lower paper which allows him a maximum grade of C. The teacher told him it was 'too expensive' to upgrade him . As he needs a B to do any of the A levels he's interested in, this doesn't help him at all. However, I'm hoping the experience has been a wake-up call for him and will make him revise properly next year.

His next exam is on Thursday: Chemistry. He knows even less about that than he does about Biology. You'd think he'd come home and start revising, but no: he says he needs to relax.

DH has been tidying the garden today. Came home to find new pots of flowers everywhere . I do like delegating Flying duties.

well he may yet get a B if he gets a high mark in practical bit, and a very high C in the paper. Foundation is much easier to bluff I would think. Ds1 has/is doing Foundation Double Science (so he did the Core last year and Additional this year) He said at one point he was interested in doing Biology; he said this to the Biology teacher in front of me at a parents' eve, and she just gave him this LOOK Noo, I don't think he would get far with the A level unless he was able to tie it in with Zombie Apocalypse etc.

Woo hoo with the house Grey, that is fantastic!

The daily summary for Wednesday (also available on the Flylady website at flight plan which should update automatically each day.

**

Baby-step no 18 - the 11 Flylady commandments (funnily enough I was reading these today as I have the Flylady book!)

We are in Zone 3 this week: the bathroom and one extra room

Spend 15 mins decluttering in Zone 3.

When you have finished decluttering, the detailed cleaning list (if you are at that stage) for Zone 3 is here

Mission for Wednesday wash the rugs, shower curtains and accessories in the bathroom, attack hotspots for 15 mins in the extra room

The daily focus for Wednesday is: anti-procrastination

The monthly habit for May is moving in May!

Thank you all for your kind words, I have felt a lot better today. Woke up feeling tired and anxious, took DD to school and a kind friend/fellow mum who lives round the corner took pity on me and invited me in for a cuppa, which was just what I needed. I'm dreading not doing the school run any more, which won't be too long now, I love seeing the other parents in the morning we all provide each other with a lot of support when we have bad days.

Anyway, went to work, which was boring today, but enjoyed seeing everyone (being in company is the fastest route out of anxiety for me). DD came out of school sounding a lot more cheerful but still said she didn't feel great so we skipped ballet, went for a cycle ride to the park and watched telly instead.

Flyingwise, not a lot. Hoovered stairs, landing and DD's bedroom. Spent half an hour in the shed, potting on seedlings, not really Flying but it needed doing. To add to my recent woes I got a reprimand letter from the council on Sat about the state of my allotment.

Grey - fingers crossed for the house!

All those with DCs taking exams, hope all goes smoothly.

Knitting - ouch, I get very similar episodes with my back, completely seized up in pilates class a few months ago, hope it's better soon.

Oh wow, Grey - definitely fingers crossed!

Glad you're feeling better, WhoKnows, and good luck to everyone doing exams.

Have done no flying, and no work to speak of today. Just lots of CBA and pottering about. But we've just made another Ikea order as part of sorting out DS2's room, and also the playroom.

Must get my act together and actually do some stuff tomorrow... Got a doctor's appointment for DS2's ongoing digestive issues first thing, so we'll see what happens after that.

Toffee just a thought but is there a possibility for ds to resist the science? Is it that they want the easier paper due to the history of anxiety and there is the possibility to put him in at the higher when he has a good experience of the exams. Probably way off the mark though. Otoh I got a double C at GCSE for science. It didn't stop me getting a good science subject degree, I just took a slightly less direct route. So even if ds gets a C it is still possible to take the subjects further but it might just take a little longer and be slightly less direct in route.

Eeek Grey exciting stuff!

No Flying today, took DCs to Spanish which was good, but long, and they wanted to go to the park after, and then we needed a few groceries, so I'm rather worn out. Need to stick a wash on so DH can iron it in the morning, just work clothes and Brownies uniform and hopefully DS' spare glove if I can find it the gloves he's wearing under splints are getting grubby really quickly!

Well i meant resit nor resist last night

If you want me I will be designing my blanket fort and deciding what colours i need in crayons.

what a kind group of friends you have Who. I miss the school run for that reason.. My solace nowadays is that usually if I walk around our local area I bump into someone who gives me a new perspective (could be an old lady sometimes ) 16 years in to our local area I just know quite a lot of people now. Poor dd, I didn't mean to sound flippant btw before, it is all very hard dealing with friends and school..I sometimes think ds2 has it easier in the sense that he makes his own life "simpler".

Back still bad, dh is being really helpful to compensate, he made me go back to bed for a nap this morning, and has suggested I go to the swimming pool for a "soak" in hot pool rather than pointing out to me the state of the landing, which I said I was going to tackle this week.. I just cannot bend down, which basically means a lot of housework is not possible. I need to walk more, but dreading the thought of pounding pavements and then ending up incapable this evening.

Ds2 has gone off to school quite happily but his face contorted in rage at the thought of possibly going in tomorrow morning for Drama and History (he is still part-time) as they are his favourite subjects; he insists he cannot go in on Thursdays or Fridays. I had to back down very quickly or I think he wouldn't have gone in this morning. I will have to discuss this with the Senco. A delicate balance.

Who honestly what a jobsworth was writing you a letter about your allotment..you should see a lot of the allotments round here..wilderness and no-one gets chucked off them despite there being enormous waiting lists because it is London. Sounds like one of those school attendance letters which are computer generated.

Einstein this Science thing has come up in our school too; depending on their performance in Dec they make a decision as to whether they are going to manage the higher level questions in the Higher paper, and possibly only end up with a D, or whether it is more sensible to give them a Foundation paper where they are likely to get very high marks on easier questions, which means a C. So Ds1 for example got upwards of 90 percent in his Foundation Core Science last year, but that is still only a C in real terms. It is a real C though!! The teacher said some children were put in for the Higher and the Foundation simultaneously when there was doubt over their profile, but ds1 really had lost interest in the whole issue and refused to do the Higher anyway..so I gave up that point trying to put him for the Higher. Lazy creature.

Kinitting - there have been a lot of complaints here about the time it takes for abandoned plots to be identified and given to new owners, so they have upped their game a bit. WE do get told when the inspections will be taking place and it is really a very quick wander round, I did have a lot of long grass and dandelions that week and at this time of year it's easy to mistake one that's a bit behind for one that's been abandoned. I spoke to the council yesterday and they were very nice about it.

Are you taking any anti-inflammatories for your back? I find that they help when mine gets like this, plus keeping moving but little and often with plenty of rest with the small of the back well supported with cushions.

So, it's my morning off, I wanted to go to the allotment but it is hammering down with rain, so annoying. Revising for my exam instead, it's two weeks tomorrow

Nowt happening here today, am struggling. DH tidied round the living room for me as I have one of my regular pupils on Wednesdays. Still tempted to cancel as I just want to go to bed! I don't think I'll even be able to take DD to Brownies tonight.

Hi to all during swift lunch break:

Sorry you are feeling rough Cag

Oh gosh Grey congrats on the offer and have all fingers and toes crossed for you today about that lovely house!

Blue hope the doc appt with your DS2 goes well and they can give you some answers

So glad to hear you are feeling a bit better now Whoknows (nowt better than a problem shared) and that your dd is feeling a bit cheerier! Wishing you the very best of luck with your revision! Is it a tough one? Do you have loads to do?

Whoknows/Knitting is it wrong of me to say at this juncture that I can't wait until school runs are no longer necessary?!! [Unsociable curmudgeon emoticon]

Knitting and Toffee And continuing good luck to the exam candidates!!

Toffee that's outrageous about your ds1 not being allowed to sit the higher paper (I think I mentioned exactly the same thing happened to my god-daughter in maths). Talk about limiting ambition!! But totally brilliant to hear that he is not particularly stressed by the exam experience per se! He's doing amazingly well!

Hope your back feels better today Knitting (agree we definitely take functioning backs for granted). Take heart from the fact that I couldn't bend or move much at all about three or four weeks ago and it has all clicked back in to place. (Just saying this because when it hurts so much I tend to think it will never get better and then it does.) Have taken notes on your wise advice about emotional daughters. (Sorry I had to cackle about the villa holiday though )

(DD is having terrible difficulty with parsing in French atm - not helped by an extremely negative teacher - and we had a return to the "I want to go to school in the UK moment" melt down last night which we haven't heard for a good few months!)

Ta for links Cotswold! Sounds like you are getting down to some serious Flying if you have bought the book!

Big waves to everyone else!

Extremely busy here all the time atm for some reason, not helped by our local priest "popping around" unannounced at supper time last night. Fortunately, had prepared a reasonable supper and downstairs wasn't looking too bad. It went fine in the end once dh brought out the wine but he stayed rather too late for a school night.

Office has gone mad with work and I have stacks to do for dh.

Went to 2 rather gruelling med appts yesterday for myself plus x-ray for dd's toe which didn't work very well so we are having to go back for another [sigh] as we didn't have time to stay and do it again.

Having another meeting today about an already almost imposs Plan B. Another mahoosive ballet rehearsal this afternoon/evening. And did usual volunteering stint this morning (which has thankfully been cut down to 2 hrs instead of 3 because we have finally got a handle on all the mess and clutter and the system for handling donated clothes is working much more smoothly shame I can't seem to achieve this in my own home.)

Positives: fortnightly ironing lady has turned up twice in the same fortnight which is utterly confusing but totally brill!

Virtually NO Flying again from me though!! Boudoir has slumped back in to a mess. I am so cross about this!! And all the boxes in the home office seem to be staring at me in a sullen fashion. They are sitting there saying "come on, come on, we are waiting for out contents to be sorted and thrown out, but we just sit here and don't move for days and weeks on end, why are you ignoring us?".

I'm trying to turn over a new leaf and focus on priorities: so went for a swim, and soaked in the hot pool too. Just two lengths today. I am soo fat, I've put on two stone, it's appalling. and it is all down to the new driving skills

Have linked my bad back to going to the tip on Sat/Sun (cannot remember when it was) but I did very vigorous shaking of garden rubbish over the side of the bunker, which must have done the trick

Went to Homebase (which is near swimming pool as I had the car handy) and made things worse again by pushing a trolley containing some tomato plants and a ceramic pot and two new recyling bins, but that has cheered me up a bit to get the gardeny stuff on a less busy day, we/end it is always a nightmare there. Now lying down, and taking your advice Whoknows until ds2 comes home.

Spare when are you going to give yourself a "free" day? You are always doing things for other people!

And the other good news is that I've found no less than THREE Pilates classes (some in day and one in the eve with a friend) locally so I have no excuse not to up my game exercise wise. I also need to find the friend with a a dog and make an urgent appointment either to walk her dog or to accompany her. Also wondering whether the only way to lose weight might be order one of those diet boxes of food which comes every week. Suddenly feeling a bit desperate about it all and need a concrete plan; I also know that without food I am a most unpleasant person, so it needs to be very failsafe diet plan.

the house slipped through our fingers. I am now muttering dark curses in the hope the other buyers chain breaks.

Oh no Grey, sorry.

All I can say knitting is the system is bonkers and I am very glad I no longer teach!

Bad bad bad day.

Sorry Grey that's so disappointing :(

Knitting re: diet etc I wish I knew! I'm not even trying ATM.