Help me fall in love with my house again - what makes a house seem together and finished?

[BeckySharp]

I have the bare bones of a lovely house but we have too much stuff (young DC, so really hard to declutter because toys/clothes are being kept for younger dc)
Money is quite tight
Too many unfinished DIY jobs
I wfh and am getting desperate about it

One room at a time, don't try and do too much at once. We fixed up three rooms with carpet remnants and lick of paint, and moved the furniture around. It doesn't have to be expensive.

Also remove clutter as much as possible.

Pictures, so we can give ideas what you can do on a tight budget..?

Can you box some of the clutter up and bring it out when needed, instead of having to live among it?

Nowhere to put boxes of stuff really - no loft - feels like everything is on top of me today.
I know one room at a time but with the DC and limited time I never have a chance to get anything finished and so half do something and then get a box of shite leftover from that as have to make a meal/go to bed/whatever.

Too ashamed to put photos on and also don't want to be recognised

Get more storage that won't eat into your space, or attractive storage that enhances your home. Underbed storage; storage bench; pretty boxes to go on top of the wardrobe; wall mounted shelves; ottoman or coffee table with storage inside. Chuck stuff into it and don't worry about sorting it as you go. Sort in small chunks as and when you have time.

Also strongly recommend Flylady, having discovered her on Mumsnet; I like the little-but-often philosophy which helps you keep on top of things.

Can you or your dp put up shelves? My dh managed to create some much needed extra space in our old poky house with a few high up shelves in odd places.

yep,i also think if you can't get rid of any clutter, find ways of getting it "out of sight".
when my DS was little we got this storage box to chuck his toys and stuff in each evening ,it doubled as a coffee table ...

www.ebay.co.uk/itm/IKEA-HOL-LARGE-WOODEN-STORAGE-BOX-WITH-LID-OTTOMAN-SIDE-TABLE-99p-/391381892725?hash=item5b202dbe75:g:~4wAAOSwe7BWui7e

I always tried to "de-child" the living room in the evenings, seemed more relaxing.

have you tried those vacuum bags for clothes / bedding not in use?

have you room under beds /on top of wardrobes?

what sort of DIY needs doing?

Ugh I know the feeling. We've just moved and I love our new house but it's quite 'shabby ' decor wise and we really don't have enough money to smarten it up the way I would like to.

Join free cycle and Facebook selling groups for some bargins

De clutter, do a very thorough job. ( ditch the toys)
Clean, everything, including inside cupboards.
Draw up a snagging list/diy jobs and work through them room by room. Do the biggest wins first.
Decorate every shoddy room ( the deep clean will highlight this)

Then and only then think about adding stuff.

I agree with clever storage.

I have 3 Hol Ikea tables (1 big, 2 small) and they're brilliant for dual purpose - they look grown up enough for furniture and you can store toys in (I store books and throws in mine, and my DS's bloody collection of wires. It's his man drawer). Freegle, Freecycle, Gumtree and eBay are brilliant for cheap things, also.

WRT clutter, I've just started reading Marie Kondo and her decluttering method and she advocates decluttering categories, rather than rooms, so that when you've done a thing (books for example) then that category is done and you can move on to the next thing. The feeling of completion spurs you on, I find.

With decorating/DIY, can you take it job by job?

Second Marie kondo. Its revolutionising my home.

Yes, need to do it bit by bit
Have no idea how we would corral the toys all together in one place. I need to do it. but how??
My heart loves the idea of Marie Kondo but my head thinks "hello? She doesn't have children.!"actually, I think she recently had a baby but
KonMarie certainly doesn't cover dealing with kids and their ever changing needs.
I don't really care if I only wear 5 tops for the rest of my life but the kids can't....

Have you read the book Becky? It's a psychological change...
In terms of toys, there are lots of possibilities:
They can be broken down into categories:
Soft toys / building toys / board games / creative etc etc and each sorted one at a time and then each go in their own box.
Two options: get children to sort their own toys by what they love and what needs to go to help other children now (a category at a time)
Or
You put out a selection of toys from each group for a period of 2 weeks. What gets played with? 2what gets ignored?
Rotate sets after 2 weeks. Get rid of what gets ignored.
Kind of like a capsule wardrobe but with toys! Often kids have so many that they become overwhelmed.

Only save the really nice stuff for younger ones. There will be many birthdays and Christmas presents so they will never go without!

Hi nano
Read it last year - in what way psychological - perhaps I was too quick to dismiss it. I think it was a major block in my thinking "well, she hasn't got kids, what does she know about my house?!"

Don't think I explained very well!
Psychological as in it looks at why you're keeping so much clutter... As in:
Oh but dc 3 might like that when they're older and it's only a bit broken
Oh but they used to love playing with that
Oh but auntie X bought that and so we have to keep it
Oh but that was expensive (even though they never play with it)

All these items need freeing! Admittedly I only have one child and she is too young to have an opinion (but has a lot of stuff - many gifts and also hand me downs). However we did have an awful lot of stuff due to our sentimental inability to get rid of anything (ever!)

athoughtfullife.com/2015/08/09/konmari-with-kids/

playfullearning.net/2013/09/childs-play-the-art-of-toy-rotation/

intelligentnest.com/2013/09/12/toy-rotation-step-by-step-guide-updated-revised/

Explain what I meant better than I managed earlier. My sister is brilliant at this with my niece (3.5years) and I have been inspired watching.

I've got kids. I have read kondo. You do not need storage. I repeat step away from the storage. You need less stuff.
I'm walking on air already and I have barely started.

Absolutely less stuff.

For kid toy storage we found the ikea trofast tall units inexpensive and good for toy rotation.

Children actually play better with fewer toys as they then have to use their imagination

Clothes as hand me downs - anything "tatty" don't keep, be very ruthless! With 3 dc you must wash a lot so they don't actually need much in each age range. That was certainly my experience, they constantly wear their/your favourite items.

Yes, to the constant wear of their/your favourite itemss - this is so true
Thanks Nano, I will look at those links anything to avoid any actual tidying
I have also signed up to a Lenten challenge of a bin liner per day so the two together should really help.

becky I was struggling with lent as I am faultless I fib I vowed to give up clutter for lent by discarding each day

I cheated slightly as I already have some bags destined for the c'shop but just been reading that toy rotation stuff and the montessori stuff behind it - definitely on for that - have a bit less work on after half term and am super keen to get started and clear my head and my house.

take photos of your rooms as if marketing it for sale.

Not an easy fix but I did book a cleaner for for a few hours. We had a good tidy up beforehand, but even so it was amazing how much clutter she artfully re-arranged on shelves. I went round and removed all the bits she'd made me notice.

The most I've ever liked my house was when we stripped back everything for selling, then went to The Range and bought a couple of trinkets to dress it.

Thanks all
Bumping for any more idvice