January Fledglings - Resolve to Fly!

[WhoKn0wsWhereTheMistletoes]

So, here we are at the start of 2016, poised with our control journals and ready to Fly for another year. New and old, all are welcome here, we loosely follow the principles of Flylady to manage our homes and lives, we also chat and lend an ear to whatever life throws at us.

We post links to the Flylady site each day throughout the month, with daily babysteps and missions inside that weeks zone. We also declutter. No links in this post, I'm on my phone and will do some separately, but it's time to get ready for 2016. A big thank you to everyone who has run the thread in 2015 and everyone who has contributed .

Hi newbie here. Been following since new year and finally decided to post. Getting the hang of flying and currently waiting for an organiser to be delivered is it bad im excited about this. We are currently 3 months in to our new house and still decorating so the bathroom is the focus at the minute. I have a 3 year old ds who has asd and currently 26 weeks preg with ds2. Is it normal to nest this early on haha.

Hope your all having a good day.

I am currently sitting under ice and working on projects. But I did let the breadmachine help me make cheese bread for lunch always dangerous to have straight out the oven hot bread in the house

Also I have discovered the world of pod casts and the fact you can watch and craft far more easily then mn and craft. So if I get lost from the thread you will know why

A very warm welcome to Weloveourfamily! Sounds as though you have a lot on your plate so take it steady [proffers footstool]

I take it you are waiting for an organiser in terms of furniture; not a rl person, although both sound good?!

Is it wrong that I'm feeling rather happy that the home of my new pupil is no tidier than mine, so I don't feel so worried about them coming here!

I've had an unproductive day in the sense that we've barely been home. It's been lovely though.

Absolutely gutted about Alan Rickman. RIP Snape :(

Evening all and welcome to weloveourfamily, there are quite a few of us here with DCs with ASD or other SNs (me included), it is definitely one factor in me not always keeping on top of the household stuff.

SC - sorry to hear that DD is not being easy at the moment, your list from yesterday deserves this though .

Grey - I am enjoying the OU, but, I don't need to do it, it won't change my career plans or earn me any more money, it is purely for interest - I enrolled three years ago to do one undergraduate module and then found I was entitled to finish the whole degree at the old rate of tuition fees which is about 1/3 of what they are now so I carried on and have done the whole first year and am in the first second year module now. There aren't any other modules I really want to do after this one, so that's it, I'm out. Please remind me of this if in September I am toying with re-enrolling.

Fuzz - glad you've had a lovely day.

I said yesterday was a bit odd, that was because we got the results of DD's dyslexia assessment back and she is officially diagnosed with it now (previously it has been informal screening). Which made me feel rather sad, her written work is SO out of kilter with her verbal abilities. So, I am bracing myself to go back into school and start dealing with the SENCO again, they haven't been terribly supportive of her so far, and I thought I'd finished with it all when DS got his statement and moved on to secondary school. And we need to find her a private tutor. Anyone on here have experience with dyslexia?

Today was nice though, went for coffee with friends after school run, then on to work, then time for a bit of shopping before the afternoon school run and home to get the woodburner lit and start ferrying DCs around again. We've hardly used the woodburner this year because it's been so mild, but it is so lovely, going to be using it a bit more for the rest of winter I think. Oh and I lost and found one of my cats . Went to feed them about 6pm and realised I hadn't seen one of them since this morning, we have had a few incidents of her getting shut in cupboards etc because she is a dark and stealthy little thing who hides away a lot. Highly unusual for her not to be pestering for food from about 4.30pm so I was a bit worried when she didn't appear for her dinner, eventually found her inside our bed, we have one of those lift up divan ones and I had opened it this morning to get something out, she must have snuck in and been there all day, poor girl.

Flying wise, have cleaned out a kitchen cupboard, tidied the living room, cleaned the loo, all random things really, but in the spirit of the mission I did buy some new pumps of handsoap today.

Links for Friday.

Babystep - making your bed.

Mission shine your bath and basin and wipe down the WM and dryer.

Daily Focus - declutter your car and purse and date night.

We thought DS1 had dyslexia, but it was a wrong diagnosis, Who. I did read up on it though and found useful information on the websites of the British Dyslexia Association and Dyslexia Action. I'm sorry you are facing another battle with school . At least you are experienced and knowledgeable: your DD is lucky to have you on her side.

The owner of the company I work in is severely dyslexic, by the way. A publishing company too .

Oh, your poor cat! So glad you found her. Am amazed she didn't yowl at you when she heard you come home: our cats are very vocal which is how I discovered I'd shut them in the dining-room cupboard one day.

SC - sorry your DD is being so grumpy and sympathies on the battles over baths and clothes. I'm glad your DH stood up for you. Hopefully, it will make DD think twice about speaking to you like that again.

Fuzz - glad you like the book recommendation. In fact, the tessellation project was only the first one we tried; the book was so inspiring, we then went on and tried several of the others, including the Van Gogh one (DS2 also a big fan).

I helped DS1 with his revision tonight, but he couldn't concentrate for long so we gave up. He is too stressed to wash, so he's extremely smelly . I even offered him my dry-hair shampoo so he wouldn't have to wash his hair with water, but even this got him into a state of anxiety so I gave up. Then he decided he was going to take a kettle into school to make himself Pot Noodles for lunch and couldn't understand how inaappropriate this was. It's very noticeable how he gets more obviously Aspergery when he's stressed.

It's not a mock GCSE exam, SC - it's a real one that contributes something like 12% to the overall mark. But there's no more we can do now. I'm going to take time off work to go to the next parent's evening so I can stress to the teachers how important it is they give DS1 adequate time to prepare and also let me know what he has to do so I can help him.

Absolutely no Flying today: spent all day at work, then went to the hairdressers, then came home, had dinner and helped DS1 with his revision. Also drank the first glass of wine I've had since 31st Dec: very nice .

who my ds2 was diagnosed about 12 months ago with dyslexia. I'm happy to talk about it if you like. He's in year 5. My DH is also dyslexic in exactly the same way (in that it's such a broad spectrum, they have the same issues and difficulties). I picked it up in year 2 but it took years for anyone to listen.

Welcome Welove! I have ASD myself and I strongly suspect my DCs (8 and 6) both do as well.

Who I can understand why the official diagnosis has made you feel odd and I'm sorry you face a battle with school. My DSD is dyslexic, according to tests it's not severe enough to warrant help now, but that's because she's learnt masking strategies. Still gets most words wrong though bless her :( I can't advise on helping though, as everything DH and I have tried to do, her mum has deliberately gone against but that's a whole other thread :(

Toffee I'm sorry your DS1 is so stressed :( is he enjoying school overall though? It's a shame you don't live nearer. Whenever you post about your DS2 I can't help thinking he and DD would get on very well!

Woke up early after a horrible dream, but it meant I got a hug from DH before he left for work. Small Tesco delivery has arrived (normally I leave the non-perishable stuff for DH to put away, but DSD will be the first one here this afternoon so I don't want to leave it all for her to trip over!). Off to Brighton today for a home ed birthday gathering, DD will be ice skating but needless to say I won't! Much as I'd love to, used to really enjoy it. Unfortunately it means DS (being only 6) is not allowed to skate but I've appeased him with promise of a magazine (VERY rare treat). Then we're coming back, DSD has coursework and then we're having an anime and treat food night. She's been a bit low lately I think, or run down at the very least.

Right, better get going and figure out what bus/train we are getting! Have a lovely day Fledglings :)

Oh well at least I have done one Friday thing, I have cleared my purse of all receipts! I've actually been looking at them properly since I've been tracking all spends, but I'd got a bit behind on updating the spreadsheet. Done now.

Thanks you all for the comments about the dyslexia. DD is in Year 5, I have had niggling suspicions since Year R, firmer suspicions since Year 2 and had to get the assessment done privately. Every time I have raised it with school they have told me they are doing everything they would do if she had a diagnosis so there's no point doing an assessment. However, we wanted to partly because it seems only fair for DD to be able to understand why she finds things hard and partly so that we have something definite for when we choose secondary schools this year and partly because we need to get her a tutor and they will need as much info as possible. It's school I'm worried about though, DD is muddling along in middle groups for everything (lowest group for literacy) but she is capable of so much more, the assessment shows her as being on the 90th centile for verbal ability so it really is holding her back. So I obviously think the school could be doing more to help, and this report sets out how they could do it but I don't think they are going to want to. She isn't even on the SEN register.

Oh and I'm a bit scared of posting on the SN topic about it because once before I had someone come along who claimed to work in a secondary school who told me they just shrug at dyslexia diagnosis reports and never read them, parents just pay any old person to get one to justify their child's laziness etc.

Oh and the main reason I wanted the diagnosis is that I'm so bloody angry with the school for consistently pegging her as lazy, she rarely gets any star point things, her artwork rarely makes it onto walls, I have been told over and over again that it's her attitude . If I do nothing else with this I am going to tell them they need to sort out their attitude.

that is shocking whoknows

Re dyslexia, the modern phonics system is the system that best supports dyslexics so the mild dyslexics are no longer showing up as easily because they already have the skills to cope. SO unfortunately if dd is showing up really easily then she will need the extra support. I have a private tutor for dyslexia for years. I individual I have was not a specialist on but a secondary school english teacher who worked with intervention groups. Lovely individual whose guts I hated. BUT he taught me how to inturpret written instructions and text as well as the reading side of things. We went through how to construct answers etc etc. It will be different from the intervention your dd will need because of age differences at intervention. But what I am saying is that if you get a good teacher they don't need to necessarily be classed as a specialist teacher if they know what they are doing.

Re the diagnosis. It can be useful for extra time in exams (yes really you drag out the suffering to give enough time to write) which can be incredibly helpful for slow writers. Depending on the individual it may be possible to apply to type written exams so IMO it is NOT a was of time getting the assessment. Also some students qualify for funding and additional help at university level. So it is more than just giving dd a peace of mind it is helping to establish her a path of support for the future no matter what one teacher says also ofsted measures the school on SN and will slaughter it if they are failing to support their kids even if the rest of the school is excellent

Our local dyslexia organisation do specialist classes but I have no experience of this other than wanting to inflict damage to the person I spoke to when she told me ds could just type everything. He wants to be a scientist. I don't think so, he needs to be able to write. So you may have to fight this battle. If i am truely honest I would probably avoid the establish tutoring schemes but I am entirely bias and not impressed with them. But some people really like them.

Also with dealing with the school. Make sure you know which acts refer to it because the phrase "Oh i thought under that ....." can come in very useful. It comes down to funding. No one has any funds. If they can avoid spending money they don't have, they will. It isn't personal but it sucks.

Any encouragement to become a book worm will be of benefit but it is hard to establish this in children who have already developed a hatred of reading because they can't. Sibling rivarly was the best tool here for encouraging reading.

It is hard but knowing you are not stupid and knowing that you can is the best step forward. Too many dyslexics are told they are low achieving and stupid by the teachers. It is demoralising. So to have it in writing is a bonus. Are you letting DD read her report?

Alarm clock failed this morning. Well actually it got thrown at a wall so it exploded before rolling over and sleeping some more happened so my to do list includes finding a spare alarm clock that is lurking somewhere Day is all out of kilter atm.

Shockingly i am not surprised by your last post. I had the same thing in school. Mum went into school and when told this turned around and said what was the point in me changing my attitude because the teacher was not willing to give me a chance and I would be wasting my time and effort if she couldn't be bothered to change her attitude towards me. She never told me at the time but did when I got my report years later. Everyone hated that teacher she was a horrible dragon who called mum in during the first week to tell her I was lazy and had a bad attitude. I wish i could have seen her face when mum basically put her in her place over attitude.

I'm going to go in all nice and say, "look, here is the advice which could ensure DD does as well as she can in her SATS next year, obviously you want that to happen don't you? It would be a shame if after getting 2s in year 2 she only got 3s in Year 6, when yours is such a high performing school".

Back later and thank you.

no (or hardly any) flying this week. Must do better.

That's awful Who :(

Sorry you're fighting another battle, Who, but it sounds as if you have a good strategy worked out.

Einstein - your mum sounds great .

fuzz - hope your home-ed gathering went ok today (not that far from me, actually ). DS1 was much cheerier by this evening and said his test went 'ok'. He was so exhausted, though, that he nodded off halfway through his meal. I'm hoping I can tempt him to have a bath and hairwash tomorrow. In answer to your question, he tolerates school because he is very motivated to get his GCSEs; and there are some lessons (usually those involving computing) that he really enjoys. He hardly socialises with anyone. The main thing is that he doesn't suffer from anxiety at school anymore and never refuses to go.

Had a nice day at work today: my colleagues put up balloons for me and gave me a box of chocs for my birthday tomorrow, then we all went out for a drink at lunchtime. My best friend is coming to stay for the weekend and we're going out for lunch. Needless to say, I will not be observing Dry January for the next couple of days.

Thank you all for your kind words re dyslexia, I don't want to derail the thread totally but I'm in charge this month so I can but a few quick responses.

Firstly, school haven't been that bad, I am feeling ranty at the moment, one teacher really did have the attitude problem, but that was several years ago now and behind us. It has been hinted at subsequently, but her current teacher is not saying this.

Einstein - good for your mum! There is a specialist dyslexia centre near here (where we had the assessment done) which is a good starting point for looking for tutors, DD has had tutoring by a non-specialist teacher for 18 months already so it will be a switch rather than a new thing. As for the science and your DS, well, my DH has a lot of dyslexic traits, particularly with regard to writing and is very heavily reliant on computers, but you know what he's a brilliant scientist (1st class honours in chemistry, PhD) and successful in business to boot. Luckily for my DD she reads pretty well and likes playing word games etc, she has just had a Kindle for her birthday, so it's not all bad at all. It's her writing that is the big problem, not her reading. I have been reading up on the new SENCOP, just my luck that the law changes in between my two DCs needing SEN intervention, I knew the old one very well.

Nick - I would be interested to know what help your DS gets from his school and what his areas of difficulty are. Does he have additional tutoring?

Perhaps at this point we should take dyslexia talk into pms to avoid further derailing!

Anyway, I have done quite well with my Flying today. Hoovered downstairs, cleaned the inside of DS's bedroom window, cleaned the bathroom, tidied everywhere downstairs, found several missing scarves (useful now the weather has turned so cold). Even done a fair chunk of OU work.

Oh and Happy Birthday for tomorrow *Toffee, are you having a Minecraft party too? .

Links for Saturday

babystep looking at Flylady's musings on the website (optional I would say, although I find her book very good, if a bit twee).

No mission as it is the weekend, but it is Family Fun Day

Sorry but going to break the end of discussion thing. How is her core strength, shoulder and arm strength? Has a huge impact on writing skills. And used to be part of the assessment process many many many years ago. The big diagnosising research project involved standing kids on a wobble table getting them to close their eyes and giving the table a wobble. ALL the dyslexics fell off and work on the core stability and balance showed progress in the written work. Can't remember all the science but I am sure that you would be more than capable of finding it if you wish more info. DS has improved his writing using this approach but he is still being investigated for the underlying cause (could be sensory/aspie, could be dyslexic, could be hypermobility, could just be a child who hates to write) His favourite handwriting practice atm is the wobble board and the magnetic dart board. He hasn't even figured out he is practising his handwriting Especially as he has had the physio tell him he needs to strengthen his shoulders/arms so he is combining physio with it

Flying? Shoved a load of washing through the machine, shoved some of it into a bag.

That's the case for my DS Einstein, he's dyspraxic as well as AS and does have poor core/upper body strength. However DD is strong in both core and arms/shoulders, she's forever pushing herself up in the corner of the kitchen counters, in doorframes, doing general gymnastic things on the floor, has lovely posture. She's been doing ballet since she was three which probably helps and her fine motor skills have always been great, however her hand to eye coordination is not as good as DS's but that's possibly because he spends so much time engaged in ball games compared to her. Her handwriting is beautiful, but very slow.

Happy Birthday, Toffee!

Little bit of tidying up has happened, but I need to get on with DS1's birthday cake for tomorrow. DH has got sidetracked into making a model kit that we ill-advisedly gave DS2 for Christmas. Oops.