Remember remember through all of November the Fledglings will flutter and fly!

[fuzzpig]

Halloween’s over, Christmas (sorry) is drawing near, but perhaps you have too much S.T.U.F.F. (Something That Undermines Family Fun) getting in the way. Or maybe you want to rid your house of C.H.A.O.S. (Can’t Have Anyone Over Syndrome)? Have no fear, the Fledglings are here! We are all learning to get into a routine for maintaining the household, so we have more time for that thing called life.

This is where, from the first of the month (seriously, HOW is it November already?!), we follow – loosely – the rules of FlyLady. We ignore the somewhat barftastic language, and also thoroughly recommend NOT signing up to the emails… unless you want your inbox full to bursting.

Here’s some basic info on getting started – but don’t worry, all will be revealed on a daily basis (assuming I get the links right…) so just jump in.

There are 3 basic stages:

• Baby Steps – if you’re new, start here. Or if you’re coming back to us after a break (trust me, we’ve been there!) then these are good way to get back into it.

• Repeat Baby Steps + do 15 mins a day decluttering in the current room or 'zone' - yep, just 15 mins, it makes a difference!

or

• Reinforce Baby Steps + do Daily Missions - if you have finished decluttering (one day I’ll get to that stage… one day…).

There are also detailed cleaning guides if you’re really enthusiastic.

NB
This is a very long-running thread so we may appear cliquey but we really aren't! All newcomers, long-termers, lurkers and intermittent returnees not only welcome to join in but positively encouraged to do so!

Another NB
Start where you are. There is no need to worry about being perfect – perfectionism = paralysis! There is no such thing as ‘falling behind’ with FlyLady, if you miss anything, just move on and continue as normal the next day.

Any questions, don't hesitate to ask!

Good luck!

grieving for [...] the childhood she didn't have in some respects

YES you've so hit the nail on the head there. If you have a childhood that is in some way not a proper childhood - abuse etc makes you grow up too fast - it can really hit home when you are creating a good childhood for your own DCs.

Hi everyone

Off to the naughty corner as feels like forever since I've been on here!
October was hectic - mine and Dd's birthdays, our 1st wedding anniversary, signed up to weight watchers on line - going well apart from 3 birthday cakes in 1 week, somehow maintained though.

Ta Da for October

Sorted out kids and our old clothes, toys and shoes. 7 bags of old shoes!!
Took a day off work as was so tired, unfortunately DH chose that day to be ill!

Brought 2016 calendar 5 colums 1 each + birthday and anniversary's perfect!

To Da today
Washing done and just put in tumble dryer.
Dd bath - I'm trying to step back and stop doing everything for her. She still can't pour the water on to wash her own hair but did remember to let her do the shampoo. Also left her to completely dry herself and her hair.

To Do

Try and persuade Ds to eat. He has constant stomach ache which the GP has now diagnosed as being due to stress and anxiety. Largely made worse by bullying at school, he's contacting the school nurse so hopefully we can now try to find solutions to his problems - get Dd all sorted and and move on to Ds!
Clean the bathroom, don't know how it gets so dusty.

Dogs glad the stress over meerkittens weight is lifting, some health visitors are slightly OTT. Dealing with child hood issues is always hard when you have your own. DH had a really abusive childhood and finds it really hard sometimes.

Ds now wants lunch, back shortly!

Welcome Buttercup! I've yet to start on Zone 1 myself but really should, it's a horrendous mess for such a tiny space!

Welcome back Shannara! Sounds like you made good progress away from the thread, and belated happy anniversary. :)

And IKWYM about wanting to step back a bit - we are really trying to find ways of getting the DCs to be more independent and helpful too. Latest addition is that they will help put food shopping away - although kitchen is a mess so I feel guilty expecting them to do it .

(endless posting sorry)

I just registered that Zone 1 includes the dining room. I don't have one (our house is a tiny two up two down affair) but I could perhaps include the dining table, which is at one end of the living room?

Zone 1 - meh
This month is a bit fuck that shit. There is no way I can even attempt zones with the amount of increasing building work going on. You know I said that I should now be heading towards cleaning and sorting for Christmas? Yeah. we might be skipping Christmas this year. Too much chaos

Yes fuzzpig that is the sort of adaptation fly lady does require.

Good afternoon all, crikey; it's November! NOVEMBER!!!

Thanks for giving us all some 'lift off' Fuzz - it sounds like you have got yourself all organised for the thread. Good luck.

Dogs - I hope meerkitten is doing ok and the weekly weigh in pressures being relaxed will help you too. It sounds like you've had a rough time in the past, and I completely agree that if a parent has had a rough time as a child themselves it can reignite those issues when raising their own children.

Shannara - lovely to see you back.

Buttecup - welcome! Do stick around for the daily links on this thread to gently guide you through the Flylady system. And join in all the chat too.

Ta da:
Slept in til 11:45!! DH and I take turns in getting up with DS in the mornings, but I can't remember the last time I slept for so long. Bliss.
Three loads of washing done and hung up to dry
Dishwasher
Made two beds
Put away dry laundry
Prepped dinner for the slow cooker
Hand washing up
Emptied and washed out kitchen composter
Put recycling into outside storage
Removed lots of clutter from the kitchen

Tomorrow I have a builder/handyman coming in to start three days of work as well as an electrician for tomorrow only. Hopefully it won't be too stressful!

Sorry it's all gone horribly chaotic Cant :( hope you can just muddle through - and especially that as much as possible is out of the way by Xmas.

ta da
1 load washing
1 load drying
DCs put clothes away
Did lots of FlyLady links :o
Renewed my spirit by playing piano continuing with some of my compositions :)
Sorted all the Halloween candy (good grief they got LOADS - and we had no ToTers ourselves so we also have what we got for them!
Shined my (bathroom) sink!

I'm proud of the last one. DS went upstairs earlier and unprompted said "WOW the sink is so shiny! And there's nothing in it!" :o

Shannara loving the 3 birthday cakes in one week, sounds like a reality show challenge!
Fuzz I like the million years of elbow grease being wasted on a beige sink..I think I shall apply that to other things in my life

well, took ds swimming, that was good. And eaten lots of caramels afterwards from the sack of sweets under the stairs

School tomorrow.

Can't is there a palace in store when it is all finished? Anything to look forward to? Any colour schemes or new furnishings or new views?

done
made lentil soup with some old kale
and cooked some spare ribs for those who like them, from scratch with maple syrup and other ingredients in made up recipe, they seem to lack a certain zing, perhaps mustard was missing.

Links for Monday 2nd November!

Baby Step No.2: Get Dressed! This is a bit of a Marmite one – FlyLady says get dressed to lace-up shoes, do your make-up etc even if you aren’t going anywhere – but for some of us just getting out of our PJs is more than enough (or is that just me? ).

We are in Zone 1 this week: Entrance, Front Porch and Dining Room (November 1-7).

Declutter for 15 mins in Zone 1 if you want to.

If you are at this stage, here is the detailed cleaning list for Zone 1.

Today’s Mission: Take down your Halloween decorations. (If, indeed, you remembered to put them up in the first place .)

Monday's daily focus is: The Home Bleurgh (a.k.a. The Home Blessing Hour).

The habit for November is: Menu Planning!

A summary of the above (which should update itself daily) can be found here in the Flightplan.

Have a great start to the week, Fledglings!

Oooh damned apostrophe turning into a question mark. That's thrown me. Hmmph.

Thanks everyone for being so lovely. I've gone back and forth between feeling better and feeling worse for posting but I'm now definitely feeling better.

One of the problems of not telling people what is going on is that you feel a sense of separation, of the space between you and others and whilst maybe not everyone has been through the tragic event bit everyone did have a childhood and I'm sure even the people who on balance are happy with the parenting they received still end up re-evaluating that and wanting to change some things for their own kids.

So I feel a bit more normal (which is a very good thing) for sharing that and hearing that everyone has this reassessment of their childhood and its impact to a greater or lesser extent when they have kids. I know this but it's still good to hear other people express it too And as I say it is great to feel a bit more normal!

Can'tsee I agree with you about returning to the group and facing my demons if it wasn't for how my friend eventually told me the other woman extracted the information for her and then having extracted the juicy details claimed that she felt terrible, I really don't need the emotional vampire interrogation that I can smell and the creation of drama that she feels a hero in the middle of. I've had way too much of that nonsense.

However, when everything first happened I wouldn't have even been able to see my friend again but this time I'm trying and I've emailed to try and sort out a time so that we can talk and see how it could be handled differently in future, etc. So I'm getting there but I guess it is a case of doing baby steps

I haven't let it put me off groups though, I decided to try going to another group on the same day and time so that I'd be trying to claim another space for myself, so I'm making progress and not letting it get to me, I'm just doing it at the pace and the way that I can manage and is good for me

That nosy woman sounds like a right cow TBH. Avoid avoid avoid. Great that you've found another group at the same time - an easy non-controversial reason for not going to the original one with nosy vampire.

Gosh, can't keep up! Will start by saying to SC - are you me?! My DD is also growing like a weed and has so many clothes that her wardrobe is overflowing, we're still using summer stuff off and on too. Also she is very reluctant to get rid of anything. Grr. However she's off on school residential tomorrow so I'm going in with my bin liners.

Dogs - I'm sorry you are going through such a lot with the issues from your past, I agree that motherhood does make you reflect very much on the past and your own upbringing, how you parents are with you now, it certainly does me. Glad Meerkitten is doing well though and I agree that you are doing all the right things for her.

Cantsee - sorry everything is getting so hard with the builders, it seems as though you've had them for ages, is the end in sight at all?

Going back to a topic from last month, the dilapidated houses and DHs that are reluctant to do anything about them, I'm glad its not just me. I have done the same as you Nick and unilaterally got tradesmen in for one-off jobs, but we are now at a point where we can't do the flooring cos one of the joists is rotting, but no point doing that until we've sorted out the problem with the airbricks, then we need to replaster the same room as the plaster is blown in that corner due to damp, but if we're going to do that we need to get the rendering repaired, but some of the damage to that is high up in the gable so scaffolding needed, if we're going to get scaffolding we ought to get the wooden bits under the roof done as they are rotting too. So, it's a big job, but none of it is actually causing the house to fall down or leak. DH doesn't mind paying, but he will leave it all to me to organise which is quite overwhelming, he would just pick any old builder from yellow pages which is not IMO the way to go. So it gets left, and left. However I think I will bite the bullet next year.

Anyway, one or two of you asked how DS was getting on at his new school, and I can report, very well. He has got into the swing of his timetable, is doing his homework properly (most of the time), appears to be enjoying himself (never says as much, but I can tell) and asked to drive past it on the way somewhere yesterday. He's been able to catch up with a few primary school friends this week which is nice too, went trick or treating with his best friend last night.

Flying-wise, this month marks 5 years since I joined this thread and I still haven't sorted out my control journal . I really need to bite the bullet on that too didn't I? I muddle along with Flylady but the routines are a bit random.

whoknows that was me last year...it was like a hole in your bucket song.
I had to get roofer (recommended but difficult to pin down 2 months delay sort of roofer) to do chimney and get scaffolding sorted before I could do dd's leaky bedroom ceiling under leaking chimney, then paint and plaster her ceiling and do that before I could paint the rest of her room. And I couldn't do the garden until the scaffolding issue had been resolved because of access, and I couldn't plant anything until the garden was resolved and I couldn't do the garden until I had planning permission for the shed and attendant earthworks (which came with shed building), and then I couldn't put the shed up because didn't want to upset neighbour due to gsces/a level May/June, and it is only now I can ORDER MY GREENHOUSE. Yay!!!

However, looking back at that list, I probably could have arranged for the garden planning permission whilst waiting for the scaffolding but that was too much for my addled brain.

Thank you again everyone, I'm now going to try and make a concerted effort to get back into the thread and reclaim my normal. (not convinced Meerkitten will let me do a lot of flying but I can still think about it in my head)

Anyway, would just like to join in with the clothes scenario. Meerkitten is still tiny but has already outgrown loads of clothes. We're thinking, but not sure about having a second baby and so I'm thinking about what to keep and what to pass on.

Initially I would have expected to hang on to everything but in reality you get given so much second hand stuff and lots of scarily pink stuff that to be fair there is a lot of stuff that I'd be happy to pass on.

At the moment I'm thinking that I'll just hang on to the stuff that I really love/feels special to me and I'll pass the rest of the stuff on and if we have another then we'll receive whatever comes round the second hand chain at that point. How did others handle this?

By the way, thank you Fuzzpig for validating my avoid, avoid, avoid feelings!

Dogs, DC1 (DS) was a pukey baby and an awful lot of his early clothes got stains on them, so that solved that really. I did keep some or the nicer, less stained stuff though and used them for DD, and a few special things from each of them are kept in a box in the loft, to which I still add things occasionally

[Joins in lusty rendition of "hole in bucket song" with Whoknows, Knitting Greymalkin¨and Can'tsee whilst swigging gin]]

Goodness Whoknows that sounds like a very long list indeed to be sorting out yourself. Bet you will do a fine job though! Wishing you lots of courage with it! And great to hear that your ds is thriving at his new school! What fantastic news after all the struggles you went through- you both deserve a medal for weathering those endless bureaucratic storms! Good luck with wardrobe decluttering tomorrow! (I'll be with you in spirit, dd off on dance/theatre workshop so will be tackling the piles of her outgrown stuff tomorrow too.]

Re: the cj, tbh, it only really comes in to its own when I have someone else looking after the house and pets while we are away and to remind myself of jobs that need doing annually, six-monthly, quarterly etc etc (doesn't mean they necessarily get done though ). Plus it's handy to have the odd emergency phone number to hand once in a while. The rest of the time it remains pretty much unused tbh.

Can'tsee sorry that it is all so hellish for you atm. At least it will be wonderful for Christmas 2016 (she said trying to sound positive). [Hands over rest of gin.]

Knitting congrats for doggedly ploughing on through, keeping a million plates spinning meanwhile and arriving at the greenhouse pièce de résistance! Hope you can resolve ds1 phone dilemma; technology and dc always difficult ones. Could phone provide bit of carrot (and v mild stick) re revision etc??? And glad your dd survived the party: convent girls eh?! Those were the days

[Dh and I are still at the dithering stage - there are so many different elements to consider - but at least we had a reasonably productive discussion about it all this evening once dd was in bed tonight.]

Dogsbum I'm glad you feel better for having posted and hope the new group proves more relaxing to be with!

A very warm welcome to Buttercup!

Thanks v. much for the links Fuzzpig! And congrats on shiny bathroom sink!

Whey hey to your long lie-in Grey and hope building work not too stressful this week!

Lovely to "see" you Shannara and you certainly shouldn't be in naughty corner - sounds as if you have had loads on! Sorry to hear about your ds being bullied and the resultant anxiety - that sounds awful - hope school nurse proves helpful.

Very impressed by your early calendar organisation btw! Belated happy birthdays to you all and congrats on you and your dh's first wedding anniv (gosh that sounds so romantic; in my case, can barely remember that far back!!)

Big waves to Blue Toffee Nicknacks Honu Fingersmith Feetheart and everyone else I have missed!

Had a lovely relaxing Sunday: lie-in, coffee on terrace in bright sunshine, caught up with sisters on phone, 3 bags of outgrown clothes decluttered, prepped simple Irish lamb layered dish with onion, carrots, pot etc, out for long family dog walk in countryside while it was cooking (dd in very good sunny mood all the while) home to supper followed by Roman Holiday on the telly! Bliss!

G'night all! Determined to Fly better in November!

ta da 2
one more load of washing (DH ironed it)
hung out wet clothes
finished FlyLady links file (except Missions, I can't seem to find them for anything other than this week, so I've left gaps for those) - on that note, please promise somebody will tell me if I get something wrong as I haven't a clue!
sorted babysitting for next week when I have my autism appt (eeeek!) - DSD insisted on arriving early to take the DCs, so my friend didn't have to step in - what a sweetheart :)
got DCs to vaguely tidy their room (they'd made a tent during the week, blankets and 'clippy hangers' holding them in place everywhere, I'd told them they could leave it up until Halloween was over!)

Tomorrow we are being taken to the woods with some families of home ed friends. Excited but nervous, as I'm not entirely sure how long we will be there and I might get too tired/sore/dizzy. But I also don't want to say no to everything because of fear, IYSWIM! And not sure if any crisis cleaning is needed, will they come in or not? I hate this kind of stress! It's only because I don't know them that well yet, and I find socialising more tiring if it's not someone I'm really close to.

I've set my alarm to give me plenty of time. The getting dressed baby step won't be too bad tomorrow as we will need to be up and ready anyway. And I will shine my (bathroom) sink as soon as teeth are brushed. I REALLY want to get Flying properly this month, I'm hoping that 'leading' the thread will help.

Good morning all!

Good luck to everyone whose dc are heading back to school today!

Holidays here so had a glorious lie-in until 7.30 am this morning (she said, rubbing it in, sorry). DD happily headed for dance workshop as I type.

Ta da:
morning routine inc: dd dance kit laid out, animals: bowls, blankets, feeding etc, dw emptied, dw stacked, wm emptied, td on, new wash on, dd lunch packed, put out glass recycling.

To do:
find mobile phone
finish tidying/cleaning kitchen
walk dog x 1
sorting laundry
more washing
on-line parcel returns (urgent)
pack away Halloween things (will take all of 3 mins as didn't really decorate in first place)
silver polishing (sounds grand but consists only of two decanter necks and a photo frame)
general ground floor tidy up and hoover
tidy up of boudoir which is starting to look a bit ragged again
more tidying of boudoir surfaces
dance run
15 mins paper shredding
15 mins exercise bike
walk dog x 2
supper (already prepped)
stick to diet!

That should be enough for today. Menu planning pretty much sorted so going to try and do paper shredding habit this month + 15 mins on exercise bike per day.

Basement also needs attention.

Hope everyone has a good start to the week!

Morning all! I am getting up now, honest. Going to have breakfast and then before friend arrives to pick us up (an hour from now) I need a quick crisis clean, and to get dressed and get everyone's teeth done (which will then include sink shining!)

Mission, home bleurgh (my first ever!) and laundry etc will be attempted this afternoon, depending how tired I am after the trip to the woods. DH is finishing at 2 but needs to wait for DSD in town to sort out something, so won't be home as early as normal, but will still be doing Beavers run and hopefully dinner, so that takes the pressure off a bit.

Have a great day all!

I understand totally about the vampirism. Not needed. Keep you head up, and you are always welcome to vent if you need and are able dogsbum

Knitting only thing to look forward to is safe floor boards that you are no longer likely to fall through, stair cases that are no longer in danger of falling down, flooring laid so no longer walking on floor boards, cookers that work and you don't have guess the temp it has actually reached, oh and electrics that don't sort the fuse box quite so often well in theory cos the entire neighbour keeps going suffering power cuts atm which is both noisy and annoying, but does help with the staying off technology thing
Basically the house was in a really shit state of repair and got to the point where it could no longer be ignored.

Ta da
Drink several cups of coffee and ponder on whether awake.
find all components of school uniform - not sure if i am impressed about this one or just relieved. or if i am too damn tired to give a shit