Remember remember through all of November the Fledglings will flutter and fly!

[fuzzpig]

Halloween’s over, Christmas (sorry) is drawing near, but perhaps you have too much S.T.U.F.F. (Something That Undermines Family Fun) getting in the way. Or maybe you want to rid your house of C.H.A.O.S. (Can’t Have Anyone Over Syndrome)? Have no fear, the Fledglings are here! We are all learning to get into a routine for maintaining the household, so we have more time for that thing called life.

This is where, from the first of the month (seriously, HOW is it November already?!), we follow – loosely – the rules of FlyLady. We ignore the somewhat barftastic language, and also thoroughly recommend NOT signing up to the emails… unless you want your inbox full to bursting.

Here’s some basic info on getting started – but don’t worry, all will be revealed on a daily basis (assuming I get the links right…) so just jump in.

There are 3 basic stages:

• Baby Steps – if you’re new, start here. Or if you’re coming back to us after a break (trust me, we’ve been there!) then these are good way to get back into it.

• Repeat Baby Steps + do 15 mins a day decluttering in the current room or 'zone' - yep, just 15 mins, it makes a difference!

or

• Reinforce Baby Steps + do Daily Missions - if you have finished decluttering (one day I’ll get to that stage… one day…).

There are also detailed cleaning guides if you’re really enthusiastic.

NB
This is a very long-running thread so we may appear cliquey but we really aren't! All newcomers, long-termers, lurkers and intermittent returnees not only welcome to join in but positively encouraged to do so!

Another NB
Start where you are. There is no need to worry about being perfect – perfectionism = paralysis! There is no such thing as ‘falling behind’ with FlyLady, if you miss anything, just move on and continue as normal the next day.

Any questions, don't hesitate to ask!

Good luck!

[SayAGreatBigThankyou]

hello hello!
cute photos sc and dont, and big big bunches of flowers for "dogs*

Yes, am marking place as haven't flown or even flapped for days

[knittingwithnettles]

ooh, I want to live in your house Blue big and empty and too many rooms, and lots of reasons to order ikea storage, also love idea of enchanted garden waiting to be reclaimed.

Buttercup chalkboard sounds very positive way to embrace the scribbles. We had red scribbles all over our bedroom ceiling (which is slanting) at one point and we didn't even notice until one morning when it was especially sunny dd was a demon for that sort of thing, she never liked colouring books

so today in a frantic burst of enthusiasm/desperation in between rushing back to tuition centre to pick up/drop off ds2
done
hoovered skirting in ds2's room, pulled out bed etc (found more moth in carpet)
dusted his under bed drawer
removed rubbish from under his bed
washed reams of clothes, dd had six bath towels in her laundry basket, I've told her she can only have ONE every 3 days from now on
hung towels on line
rest on radiators and bannisters, put more away
dusted ds2's shelves
put all ds2's clothes in right places as he cannot seem to organise them
put al dds clean clothes on her bed for her to sort out
put all my clean clothes on my bed to sort out this evening
put one of ds1's jumpers in the freezer to demoth
sorted out ds1's clothes drawers, again impossible, too many clothes too few drawers, he is 6ft now so his clothes take up lots of space
hoovered downstairs
hoovered stairs
bagged up some rubbish from the outside yard 2 black sacks
put out milkbottles
dh unloaded and reloaded dw


My plan is that he should have 4 sets of very clean spruce clothes for tuition days that he can easily find and we don't have to iron the casual clothes rags or wash them so often; he can wear those in the park/at weekends, and reduce the mountain of laundry.

roast chicken for supper

SC what a blissful half term atmosphere. I was just beginning to relax and potter around doing some tasks after picking ds2 up but that didn't last long, sense of impending doom for organising children and school has caught up with me again, something to do with the blankness of winter evenings, so implacable really. Whoosh I need to wave a magic wand and turn it into cosy warm chatty evenings by fireside, good books good drama, cinema weekend, autumnal walks, handicrafts, nice soup. Instead everyone just feels tired, and badtempered from early starts and all rather demanding of one's sympathy and attention. And the dreaded C word fills one with panic.

[fuzzpig]

Just popping on and haven't caught up yet, am using mum's laptop as I left mine at home. Utterly shattered so barely any flying done but I am most definitely forgiving myself today of all days, as explained below...

ta da
put wash on (and just remembered to text DH to tumble dry it)
shined sink
packed for trip to mum's
arranged to see friend tomorrow as she lives near mum
found last necessary bits for assessment
had assessment - and got officially diagnosed with ASC (Asperger's)

Have a lovely Wednesday Fledglings, I'll be back tomorrow with Thursday's links :)

[WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeG0es]

Evening all,

Knitting - sorry EHCP stuff is not progressing to plan, it's such a frustrating, stressful process. One of my cats does that sit over the radiator pipe thing right in our bedroom doorway and she's dark (tortie) and always getting kicked / trodden on.

Grey - your builders sound just what I need, you're not in Hampshire/Surrey by any chance are you?

Fuzz - your diagnosis, you've just popped it on the list as if it were a little thing, how are you feeling about it? My DS has AS, even though I knew it deep down it took me quite a while to come to terms with the formal diagnosis, which was four years ago . You are doing a great job with the thread BTW, thank you.

Not much to report here, no school runs for me as DD is away, haven't tackled her bedroom yet, keep going in and coming out again shaking my head.

So today has been work, bit of Christmas shopping, OU work, dinner and watched the Great British Pottery-Off (or whatever it's called) with DS, I love snuggling up with him to watch something which doesn't tend to happen if DD is around. Must do a bit more Flying tomorrow.

[salixcaprea]

Good morning all! Bit of a mad dash this morning in preparation for travel later! Heading off for a few days so will see you all next week!

Crikey Blue no wonder you feel exhausted after doing all of that! Take it steady!

Fuzzpig Thanks for links and I hope your diagnosis proves helpful in terms of getting the support you need/want.

Waves to Whoknows! (Good luck with your dd's bedroom!!)

Congrats on a hugely productive day yesterday Knitting!

Hope third week going well Toffee! Your presence is much missed on the thread!

How are you doing Scatty? Hope all well!

Waves to Buttercup Sayabigthankyou Can'tsee Shannara, Dogs, , Nicknacks, Ellie Honu, Fingersmith, Feetheart and eveyrone else I've inevitably missed!

[Trazzletoes]

hello?

[fuzzpig]

Hey Trazzle! How's things?

Thanks folks in a weird way it actually is a small thing as I'd first realised I was (probably) on the spectrum a few years ago - thanks to MN actually, when I posted in sheer desperation asking what the hell was wrong with me - so I've had a while to kind of come to terms with it. But I'm still overwhelmed with relief (I fell asleep on the sofa really early yesterday, seems to be my standard response! :o) as I'd started to believe I'd never know for sure.

I went down the assessment path before, but the psychiatrist I saw was an arrogant twat who didn't actually let me speak for 99% of the session and insisted that everything I struggled with was down to abuse, refusing to listen when I said a lot of them were happening before I went through that. I was worried that this would happen again - especially because at the beginning the woman said that sometimes autistic behaviours can be caused by upbringing and life events. But she listened to me talk through everything and she really REALLY understood it. She said at the end that the abuse has clouded things because when I was in crisis everyone naturally put it all down to that, she talked about my history of self harm and how - as girls on the spectrum often are - I was overly compliant and passive, and because my parents were clearly not 'on the ball' (she interviewed them as part of the process) and were pleased to have a little genius who never caused trouble, nothing was ever picked up on. That's the part of the conversation that made me nearly cry - with relief I mean - because that's what I've felt for such a long time now, and to have a professional talk through it with me and really understand and validate my feelings, it felt amazing TBH. Not that I actually blame my parents for not picking up on the ASC, I can totally see why they didn't and awareness 'back then' wasn't what it is now anyway.

Sorry for the epic waffling! No flying later as still at mum's and seeing a friend later :) have a great day everyone

[WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeG0es]

Trazzle! Long time no see, how are things?

[NickNacks]

Hi trazzle

[fuzzpig]

Links for Thursday 5th November!

Baby Step No.3: Banishing Negative Thoughts! This is a good one. I think a lot of us can relate to feeling like we don't deserve a nice home, like we will never get there... time to challenge those feelings!

We are in Zone 1 this week: Entrance, Front Porch and Dining Room (November 1-7).

Declutter for 15 mins in Zone 1 if you want to.

If you are at this stage, here is the detailed cleaning list for Zone 1.

Mission for Thursday: Check for all your winter stuff - coat, gloves etc.

Tuesday's daily focus is: Errand Day.

The habit for November is: Menu Planning!

A summary of the above (which should update itself daily) can be found here in the Flightplan.

[fuzzpig]

Just posted tomorrow's links as it turns out we are staying two nights. So I hope it's right, as I didn't have my painstakingly prepared Word Document :o

Mum got us last minute tickets for the ballet tonight - going to see Swan Lake. Woohoo! Not sure how easily the DCs will sit through it mind you...

[knittingwithnettles]

today
done
lots of driving and walking, bit too squidgy with all those soggy leaves around!
grocery shopping and exercise box ticked
a bit more washing done

otherwise I went back to bed in the interlude whilst ds was at tuition There are so many road works and the traffic is so timeconsuming round here atm, will get better in two weeks apparently but it means that taking him tuition and bringing him back is consuming 2 hours a day; luckily we are back early so afternoon still has a bit of room in it for other stuff. Yikes. Still he seems very jolly there and chatting away to other pupils when I pick him up and quite "cool". Now I just need to persuade him to walk back an eighth of the way back by himself just to give me an extra 15 minutes grace (I was late meeting him today, which was v stressful as he refuses to have a phone), or get on the bus even (some hope)

ds1 is off to the Albert Hall for some Golden Greats of Film music with his music group from school, and dd is bouncing around.

I suppose today counted as Errand Day already.
Porch - I will remember to put money out for the milkman
Entrance - found ds1's PE shoe this morning
winter coats..found anoraks, and most of the coats are now in the car where they seem to get dumped

Supper is, (yesterday's roast dinner reheated for ds1) and twins, pizza and salad. And fruit.

Fuzz I've just been reading Neurotribes which dh bought me. Really quite harrowing stuff. Irritating in places too though, but in ways so devastatingly satirical about the pyschiatrists. I'm so glad that a diagnosis is making everything fit into place for you. Today I've had to grapple with yet another social event coming up (another funeral so I really DO HAVE TO GO or let someone down)and argue wth myself why I really don't want to go, and just accept that I have to, but also give myself a bit of slack and respect for knowing it is hard for me but still going, ifysim. I'm sort of working through my worries in my mind - I still don't want to go, but it helps to realise WHY. the bits that others might find fun, I know I won't AND the sad bits will be as bad for me as everyone else

[knittingwithnettles]

Also managed to catch up with my Dad, text Sister, make contact with bereaved person another source of worry over, email school admissions again, cancel SALT and chase up his summary of work with ds2. And Ds2 and I were having an excellent laugh in the car on way home, he is beginning to come up with fantastic comic sketches.

Ah it turns out that they have ordered a Chinese takeaway (it's cheaper without ds1), so much for meal plans I'm relieved.

[knittingwithnettles]

Fuzz I've only ever seen the Matthew Bourne version live - it was very moving. Oh and the clip from Billy Elliott at the end. Going to the theatre is another thing I've gone off in last ten years whereas I used to go a lot in my twentiesand even early thirties and so did Dh.. I want to take ds2 to A Winter's Tale as we studied it and I'm not sure if he understood it, probably needs scenery, actors and props to make it come alive.

[fuzzpig]

Exit pursued by a bear! That's all I know of TWT :o

I am really wanting to read Neurotribes, oddly I can't see it in the library catalogue here but will put a request in that they buy it!

Sorry about the funeral, I understand what you mean about the obligation and everything :( I am glad you are able to look at your feelings, I've found mindfulness quite helpful in the past particularly for anxiety because it helps prevent it spiralling out of control, which is what happens when I get angry at myself because of being anxious. It's a lot better when I manage to just 'observe' the anxiety and accept that it's part of me. Bloody difficult in practise though isn't it!

DCs are being ridiculously rowdy so I'm kind of dreading the ballet now but hopefully they'll be captivated enough. Mum had originally thought of just sending me and DD, but I thought DS would be upset to miss it as he loves dancing (and wasn't sure they'd cope with babysitting him frankly ) hmmmm we'll see

[Trazzletoes]

Thanks for welcoming me back. All is well here. House is in full on CHAOS though. It's driving me crazy. I discovered a few months ago that I have depression so have been having counselling for that and the house is very much a symbol of my chaotic mind. I get on top of it and then everything goes to hell in a hand basket.

Plus you may remember I got my kitchen done last year and we got a Belfast sink. So even my sink mocks me with its filthiness.

[Greymalkin]

Good morning everyone,

Fuzz - I don't feel comfortable "congratulating" you on the diagnosis, but I'm glad it has given you some relief and that you finally had a positive experience of being heard and understood.

Knitting - funerals are always tricky, and i know what you mean about the feelings of obligation around them. And all that driving sounds exhausting.

DH and I had a meeting with the behaviour specialist at DSs nursery yesterday as we really need some guidance for the whole family in managing his sleep and more stroppy behaviour. My default position is to get angry and shouty which I don't like and want it to change. We have all agreed that a referral for a family support and liaison worker would be beneficial.

Today is the last day the builders are in so hopefully everything will get back to normal from tomorrow.

VBA with a to do list today, will just see what happens...

[Shannaratiger]

Morning all

Busy 2 days. Dd singing in Winchester cathedral tuesday at 1;30. Luckilt DH had his first non-holiday tuesday off so he, my mum and in-laws got to see Dd sing. DH even got emotional at her solo. Also persuaded her to go and ding at teh Royal Albert Hall youth concert on the 23rd (I think). i'm already having nightmares as: 1 dyspraxia means I get lost any where new, having visions of walking round back stage looking for where they all are!. 2 associated ASD tendencies mean I hate traveling, being in inknown places and being with lots of people I don't know.

Crap work has just phoned to ask me to come in lunchtime, there goes my free housework day.

Sorry had better get on as will be very stressed if I don't get teh bedrooms hovered as I'd planned.
Back after work/ later to continue post.

Have a good day everyone.

Fuzzpig hope assessment goes/went well!

[BlueEyeshadow]

Waves from Ikea where there is WiFi... There's a fault at the exchange, which bt New about but didn't tell us, so we won't have broadband till at least Friday. And I have used up my mobile data so feel utterly bereft and cut off!

We are making progress on ordering solution furniture, sd someone called it up thread. And DS1 has curtains now at least.

[knittingwithnettles]

Trazzles administers cheering cup of tea and surveys her own manky Belfast sink. Sometimes the house is a reflection of a disordered mind, sometimes it is just simply because that is what houses with families can be like, and because we prioritize other things which are in fact important too.
Grey I can remember going to a party once when ds1 was under two (I think I hadn't had twins yet) and someone asked me what I did all the day and I replied wrestle with toddler and his eating habits, and then I think I went into a long discussion with poor man about fish fingers Dealing with a toddler can feel like the Homeric epics all rolled into one day. I really do recommend How to Talk though by Faber and Mazlish I wish wish wish I had read it earlier. Sometimes all this boundary talk makes things worse, and that is what you may get from family liaison person, although they are often just someone to listen, which helps enormously.

Shannara wow that is something to be proud of, dd and her solo. I would be just like you, worried about the journey, so very brave, but enjoy it too!! PS I've sung in RAH but not a solo. Ds1 went there yesterday for a concert, in the audience however.

Blue gosh how frustrating, but excellent about solution furniture.

[fuzzpig]

Trazzle sorry you are going through depression :( it's horrible to deal with isn't it (understatement). Glad you are getting help though. I'm finding FlyLady helpful for it as I can take it very very gently. Today's Baby Step is particularly worth noting, I definitely have negative thoughts! And it doesn't actually require doing anything so that appeals highly to me :o

Grey IKWYM about the word 'congratulations' feeling odd in the context of a diagnosis but even the specialist said it! In a 'now you have an answer' type way I guess but I did feel a bit confused. I do feel good though, kind of elated in a weird way just because it's such a big relief.

Wow Shannara a solo in a cathedral performance! That's brilliant.

I've done no Flying today, I am flipping exhausted. Ballet was brilliant, and DCs amazed me with how well they behaved throughout (and I saw adults talking and using phones during it, so they were behaving worse than my two IMO!) - a little restless towards the end of the first half but really did me proud. Did mean a late night though, and this morning Dad's GP appt ran late and the traffic was bad so we were very late for home ed trampolining. I was tempted to just cry off the whole day TBH but DD got really upset so we did the rest of the sports stuff at the leisure centre.

Tomorrow thankfully we have nothing planned, I refuse to leave the house! Should probably attempt a little laundry or something but mostly will be figuring out how to make ancient Egyptian costumes for the museum day we are attending next week. I've got some white pillowcases and eyeliner but that's the extent of my preparations :o

[CantSee4Looking]

Today I figured out how to iron single bed duvet covers easily. This has made my entire day.

That is all.

[WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeG0es]

I have never ironed a duvet cover in my life

I have, however, excavated DD's room in time for her return home tomorrow.. Just needs clean sheets in the morning and clean clothes away. Took a while though.

Took 7 bags of stuff to charity shop today too, actually very little of it was DD's, mostly assorted random crap belonging to both DCs when they were much younger and household bits plus a few shoes and clothes. Did put some of DD's stuff in the loft too.

Feeling too tired for personals tonight, see you tomorrow.

[Shannaratiger]

Morning all

Back later with proper post

To do
Clean all hard floors
Declutter! Aiming for at least 2 bin bags.
Dig out old control journal and put in new page and plastic folder for Voucher Codes and vouchers!
Clear kitchen sides of everything not kitchen related!!
Haircut
Ignore phone so can't be asked to work.

Back later with the results. Promise will try and not overdo it, timer at the ready.

Have a good morning everyone, back at lunchtime.

[fuzzpig]

Links for Friday 6th November!

Baby Step No.6: Hot Spots! Find one of those places that breeds clutter and attack it. For just 2 minutes.

We are in Zone 1 this week: Entrance, Front Porch and Dining Room (November 1-7).

Declutter for 15 mins in Zone 1 if you want to.

If you are at this stage, here is the detailed cleaning list for Zone 1.

Mission for Friday: Declutter for 5 minutes in each of the Zone 1 areas.

Friday’s daily focus is: Clearing out your bag, car etc.

The habit for November is: Menu Planning!

A summary of the above (which should update itself daily) can be found here in the Flightplan.

The weekend is nearly here, Fledglings!