Remember remember through all of November the Fledglings will flutter and fly!

[fuzzpig]

Halloween’s over, Christmas (sorry) is drawing near, but perhaps you have too much S.T.U.F.F. (Something That Undermines Family Fun) getting in the way. Or maybe you want to rid your house of C.H.A.O.S. (Can’t Have Anyone Over Syndrome)? Have no fear, the Fledglings are here! We are all learning to get into a routine for maintaining the household, so we have more time for that thing called life.

This is where, from the first of the month (seriously, HOW is it November already?!), we follow – loosely – the rules of FlyLady. We ignore the somewhat barftastic language, and also thoroughly recommend NOT signing up to the emails… unless you want your inbox full to bursting.

Here’s some basic info on getting started – but don’t worry, all will be revealed on a daily basis (assuming I get the links right…) so just jump in.

There are 3 basic stages:

• Baby Steps – if you’re new, start here. Or if you’re coming back to us after a break (trust me, we’ve been there!) then these are good way to get back into it.

• Repeat Baby Steps + do 15 mins a day decluttering in the current room or 'zone' - yep, just 15 mins, it makes a difference!

or

• Reinforce Baby Steps + do Daily Missions - if you have finished decluttering (one day I’ll get to that stage… one day…).

There are also detailed cleaning guides if you’re really enthusiastic.

NB
This is a very long-running thread so we may appear cliquey but we really aren't! All newcomers, long-termers, lurkers and intermittent returnees not only welcome to join in but positively encouraged to do so!

Another NB
Start where you are. There is no need to worry about being perfect – perfectionism = paralysis! There is no such thing as ‘falling behind’ with FlyLady, if you miss anything, just move on and continue as normal the next day.

Any questions, don't hesitate to ask!

Good luck!

Just dashing through...

Thanks for all your kind messages about security situation. There's a very odd, quiet atmosphere here atm it has to be said although, apart from the quiet, things seem pretty normal in our immediate quartier.

We faced a moral dilemma this morning because we've been advised not to go to 'places of worship' (in addition to transport hubs, marge shopping centres, theatres and sports centres) but of course one feels that this is precisely the time when we should be going and want to go to Mass. We've decided to go tonight whatever the conclusion of the meeting being held at 3pm today between all the 'mayors' of the 19 districts of Bxls; which will determine whether schools will be opening tomorrow and transport back on track etc.

I had some interesting discussions with the Muslim women where I volunteer earlier in the week (who come largely from Morrocco and Algeria rather than the Gulf States) who are, of course, as bewildered and outraged by these atrocities as anyone else. If you read the news, you would think that only Jihadists live in the Muslim quartiers of the city. They were stressing to me how necessary it was to point out that not only are these terrorists alienated from mainstream Belgian and French society, but they are alienated from mainstream Muslim society too. The Mosque which we pass on our way to dd's schools has a huge banner outside bearing a message of peace and solidarity, condemning the Paris attacks, and offering prayers for the victims. The problem is, the racism here is casually overt (very shocking when you first arrive from the UK) and somehow 'acceptable', a bit like the UK was in the 60s and early 70s, and these attacks have been a gift to the extreme right parties that have been gaining a following in the past 5 yrs or so. It's all v. v. difficult.

Sorry, back to the thread ...

...Oh Toffee that is so fab and amazing and overall "totally brilliant" about your ds1, bless him!! So happy for him, and for you, after all of your struggles!! Hurrayyyyyy!! Such lovely positive news!!

Glad you have managed to have a bit of time on your own too - I think that would be the thing I would crave most if I worked full time.

Positive news here is that dd is finally better - yay!! She is eating normally and actually has colour in her cheeks! We are waiting to see if the schools will be opening tomorrow!

Less positive news: I have received my first Christmas card
OK, OK, that is not exactly negative, I love receiving Christmas cards, but it set me off thinking about how much I have to do and that Christmas is just over 4 weeks away. Arrgh!

Also: without outing myself, one of the "difficult" guests who visited earlier in the year has said that she may come back for Christmas. (I don't like describing her as a difficult guest because she has many excellent other qualities as well but suffice to say, I have only just recovered from her visit now! To be completely fair though that probably says more about my current energy levels than it does about her). Anyway, anyway, I can't explain it on here, but I really can't say no, because she is on her own and a very, very close relation. What worries me most though is how I am going to balance her needs with those of sil (who is another priority given that she is on her own for the first time this year without fil).

Knitting and Toffee wrt to school letters: I have to confess that I have only managed this week to access the school Internet "hub thing" (for want of a better title) by which we gain access to dd's Agenda, school letters, school photos, messages etc. I was given the password in September . Not quite as bad as it seems as it is only just up and running so they are duplicating parental communications in hard copy form until Jan, but still ...

Shannara your lunch out sounds absolutely lovely and I hope you all have a fab time at dd's concert on Tuesday! I totally understand about being worried; we are facing similar dilemmas here atm. For example, we have been invited to two concerts taking place at very high profile venues over the next couple of wks, one involving friends and one involving godchildren. While I think it would be ok for me and dh to take that risk, is it right to ask dd to face that risk too? It's all very difficult. I wouldn't blame anyone for pulling out in the circumstances, but all in all, I agree with you, I think the only thing one can do is carry on. Sil is working in Paris atm and is making us laugh because, having been nearly blown up by the IRA in London, she appears to be one of very few people using the metro atm. She says, in her usual stalwart fashion, that she is loving it because it is so empty in the mornigns!

Knitting hope you weren't all squished by a tree overnight!! New greenhouse sounds fab!! You now have the perfect excuse to order and look at piles and piles of seed catalogues over Christmas!

Blue hope you are having fun entertaining in your new home for the first time today!

Fuzzpig fab that your dd enjoyed her one to one ballroom lesson! Good the higher dose of ad's not causing ill effects. Sympathies over you and your dh being on different trajectories at the weekend - particularly difficult on a Sunday I think - I absolutely hate it when dh spends half of Sunday sleeping and the next half packing his suitcase for the next trip away, so totally 'get' what you mean!

Speaking of suitcases and dh and packing; I think I had better go and herd a few errant socks in to a corner and chuck them in to the washing machine!

Big wing flaps to Can't dogs Grey and anyone else hovering around or in the coop!

Have a good Sunday everyone!

Forgot to say

Dogsbum hope the weaning is going well!

Grey just sending waves!

Knitting forgot to say well done for your meal planning. I've been trying to figure out the rest of the contents of the freezer, why oh why did I not label the bags?!

DH has been amazing today, downstairs is much tidier and he's insisted I go for a lie down. I managed a bit of tidying, some laundry and to keep chivvying the DCs so at least their room is a lot less catastrophic - although we've left Under The Bed for tomorrow!

Re: school letters I absolutely hated parentmail! I always missed stuff, I don't actually check my email every day necessarily. And so often we had to print things to fill out, which I'd have to do at the library as we didn't have a printer. Can't deny I'm much happier now that we don't have to organise all that stuff anymore! Not to mention the constant things that needed donations or money. Mind you we certainly have more expenses for their clubs now. I haven't even looked how much dancing shoes will be, but thankfully they have a box of different shoes to try.

Just waiting for the announcement about whether schools will open tomorrow or not ... . Of course dd (despite having missed so much of late through illness) is desperately hoping they won't be ... .

On a totally different subject: was anyone else's pre-teen upset by the ending of Dr Who last night? DD was watching it with dh while I was in another room trying to sew in inadequate lighting, and she was so distraught afterwards, I thought the dog had died. But it turns out that the Doc's Assistant had ... . Surely it wasn't as upsetting as this in in our day? (Although I do remember hiding behind the sofa from the Cybermen).

Forgot to say earlier Knitting thank you, yes, you would think all of these terror alerts would be an ideal opportunity to say to everyone "we are staying at home and having a quiet Christmas and perhaps you should do too" but unfortunately (or fortunately I should probably say!) both of the relatives concerned are hugely stalwart and both declare that they are carrying on as normal and are not remotely concerned if anyone blows them up or not. You have to admire it really!

Ds is driving me batshit crazy today. He appears to finally be recovering from last years illness. He was chucked into the garden for hours but is still spinning and dancing everywhere. He has nearly got himself burnt by the iron, kettle and oven more times than is good for my sanity today.

About to turf the lego out of the bath long story and stick him in it. Hopefully then he will calm down a bit.

Too much to do and not enough time.

Yes, had a lovely evening, thanks SC.

Have also unpacked the last of the moving boxes! Admittedly, haven't got places for everything yet, but it still feels good.

Half of the furniture has been moved ready for the next phase of building next week. Need to do the rest during this week amongst other stuff. But tomo I am need to start to write my christmas cards so that they meet the postal deadline. It feels way too early to be even thinking about christmas cards and things like that.

Also I am still ok to take over December thread and hopefully things will have calmed down a bit by the 1st.

Well done re: the unpacking Blue whey hey - you have truly moved in - it must be such a relief after all the hassles you went through exchanging contracts!

Hope you managed to have a reasonably peaceful evening Can't and that ds settled eventually!

The schools will indeed be closed here tomorrow, the metro will remain shut down with the same level of security measures in place. Tbh, I'm starting not to like this very much at all, although they said the 'menace' is not directed against the schools themselves, but the transport systems that 'feed' them. It's being reported that police are carrying out various raids tonight in various locations; here's hoping they produce results. Friends are reporting that their dcs' teachers are preparing school work to send out by e-mail for the week ahead, but I am hoping the lock-down is not going to last that long.

G'night all!

x posts Can't yes, I was about to ask whether you are still OK to run thread in Dec; you sound so very busy atm and have so much renovating work going on. I'm sure someone else would offer if things get too hard to manage.

Oh blooming heck SC I suppose that no one would forgive them if they took any risk when it came to children so keeping things closed is a sensible idea.

Thread leading is a good excuse to sit down. I suspect I will be grateful for it.

I have finally sat down for tonight. My leg was really hurting and I was wondering if I had pulled a muscle. But it seems I have walked into something at some point and have a cracking lump and bruise. Will have to hope that the pain from that subsides a little overnight.

We finally have had a good proper ground frost tonight. Shame I have not had the chance to clean my window sil so I can get the thermal curtains up. We missed out on snow but were unable to access certain roads due to ice. Both me and ds thought that i might need to put snow chains for the car on my christmas wish list...

I haven't been on in absolutely ages but I had to reset my password etc and get back on mumsnet because I have been thinking of you SC every day since the terror threats have moved to Brussels. Mind yourselves and stay safe. Xx

Me too SC (not the password etc but thinking of you every time I hear the news).

How are you Castle? Good to have you back on the thread.

Fuzz - rapidly becoming a ParentMail hater here too.

Blue yay for unpacking! That's remarkably fast. We had boxes that remained packed for, erm...

Cant thank you for offering to do next month. But yes do say if it's not a good time, you have loads going on! My DCs have been utter horrors the last few days too. Muchos sympathy (or gin or whatever :o)

Living room much better thanks to DH, I'll attack the dining table in the morning. Got a piano lesson either tomorrow or Tuesday, can't remember which so will do it before 10am tomorrow to be safe. Also want to start listing a couple of things on facebook, most would make good Xmas gifts so hoping it's a good time to try selling. Also need to set up standing order for Beavers (for which I must find the card reader...), book an experience thing I was given nearly a year ago , transfer money between accounts, hang out the laundry I CBA to do tonight! Oh and some home ed is in order too :o

But for now I'm distracting myself planning Xmas presents. Will post tomorrow's links before I go.

Links for Monday 23rd November!

Baby Step No.23: Afternoon Routines! This is a useful thing to consider – a new routine to help you know what needs doing when you get in from work/school etc.

We are in Zone 4 this week: Master Bedroom (a.k.a. The Boudoir) (November 22-28).

Declutter for 15 mins in Zone 4 if you want to.

If you are at this stage, here is the detailed cleaning list for Zone 4.

Mission for Monday: Spend 15 minutes under your bed! Erm, tidying it that is, not just lying there. :o

Monday's daily focus is: The Home Bleurgh (a.k.a. The Home Blessing Hour).

The habit for November is: Menu Planning!

A summary of the above (which should update itself daily) can be found here in the Flightplan.

Have a great start to the week, Fledglings!

SC just been reading India Knight's book on shopping from 2003 or 7 (a charity shop find) and find her waxing very lyrical about Brussels where she was brought up, and the grey skies above beaches.. Thought of you and this topsy turvy world re: you missing UK and her missing Brussels!

oh didn't watch Dr Who this time..last week was so irritating. Might try it on iplayer this week.

Really haven't done any housework today, I promise I wiped one worktop. Dh cooked supper. I taught him the preliminary rules of bridge and drove him to a friend's house for a cup of tea in the morning but otherwise no civic duties at all! I do love Bridge. Not the rule book though, didn't know half those rules existed..what on earth is a grand slam or below the line...No, I just need now some similarily challenged players to join us for a four and then we can just make up the rules as we go...

reading reading reading this weekend, an enormous pile of books from the charity shop, mostly lightweight but stops one getting too immersed in the web, which must be a good thing.

Ds2 has been quite annoying though this weekend - both dh and I are responding by essentially giving up, as it is so difficult to make him do things he doesn't want to. So we didn't go out today, but we did play a big game of Monopoly - he wouldn't have minded going out, but it was just the sheer effort of having to organise everything, decide where to go when you are dealing with someone who is both obstinate but also undecided. I hate winter!!

Good morning everyone.

SC - I've been thinking of you and hope you and the family are coping ok.
Castle - lovely to see you back

I've been taking anti depressants for just over two weeks now and I have no idea if they are making any difference. Some days I feel 'normal' and wonder why I felt the need for them in the first place. Others days I can't be arsed to get dressed, eat anything or play with DS :(
DS is so difficult to manage at the moment. Bedtimes used to be predictable and ran very smoothly on the whole. But for weeks now he fights like a demon, hysterically hurling himself around the room, running into walls, has even made himself sick. He wakes up several times a night which hasn't been a problem for ages.
I feel useless and completely ineffective as a parent.

Grey I'm really sorry you are feeling like this. It's utterly relentless, parenting a child who is so challenging. I'm glad you are sticking with the ADs, maybe if you do have some days where you feel normal it means they are helping a bit. I guess you will increase the dose at some point if you've started low.

What is it that makes DS not want to go to bed? One thing that has helped DD is audiobooks. Doesn't actually mean she sleeps though, just that she stays in bed.

Well my piano lesson isn't today, as it's past 10 now. I did a vague tidy of the dining table and actually got dressed purely because I wasn't sure if it was today :o but it must be tomorrow. DCs are playing Labyrinth so I should really get on with stuff until they're finished so we can then start some work.

((Grey))

Re boxes, the removals firm we used were able to charge less because they reuse boxes, so unpacking them quickly means they'll take them away again for us. :)

Still trying to get hold of these blasted parcels! The one I thought I'd changed the address on, still hasn't been redelivered, and I still can't get hold of the new people at our old house to pick up the other one. Grr!

Grey dd was like that. I was at the end of my tether at bedtimes, got so cross with her and frustrated. Her screaming, demanding. What did help was later on to just get into bed with her and cuddle her to sleep. It really helped the transition winddown/separation which she was finding hard but not articulating, obviously aged 3!! She is NT, but was probably quite sensory defensive, sensory seeking. She needed to be wrapped up in someone's arms to tune out. When she was five and upwards, bedtimes went soo soo smoothly when I used that approach. Then I used to get up when she dropped off (very quickly) and have the rest of my evening when she was asleep. Whereas supernanny approach was shit - it just didn't work with her, controlled crying I mean. She had always been a good sleeper till then 3, I mean. Too much going on her life I think, lots happening developmentally, potty training everything really, nursery stimulation.. It is not a parenting fail to surrender to your child sometimes. It is not about control or authority.

This morning I#ve been feeling quite anxious but kind dh came to the garden centre with me and bought heavy compost and some orange cushions (he picked them..I cannot make decisions anymore) Now house is a tip but at least the bamboo is potted up!! Fence man coming round, really everything is shaming here...still...bit of fresh air and wrestling with large dirty terracotta items has cheered us up. All kids at school. Ds2 SOO disorganised this morning, but we still gotthere in plenty of time..is he a warlock??

Just a thought Grey have you thought of earinfection for ds or just plain overtiredness making him sleep less well?? Big big bunch of {thanks] winter hyacinths, exotic tropical frangipani and some bright purple cabbages and a large tin of shortbread and you are NOT ineffective.

thanks should have read

we love Labyrinth! There was a lovely racehorse game too we used to play as children called Totopoly does that still exist I wonder?

You're all lovely, thank you.

Apparently so!