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Housekeeping

Find cleaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Housekeeping forum.

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Original poster

can you relax if your home is messy?

71 replies

buddhasbelly · 11/10/2015 19:08

Just that really. I cant sit down until the living room and kitchen have both been tidied (not talking a deep clean or anything, just the dishes done/ toys put away, highchair wiped down etc).

It's not even for my benefit, I honestly wouldn't be that bothered with a bit of mess (well apart from the dishes eurgh) but I sometimes get a visitor (parents) turning up unannounced and would feel I would be judged with a bit of mess about the place. Is anyone else like this or just me?

OP posts:

LadyMaryofDownt0n · 11/10/2015 22:02

I don't really leave the house that often. I am a SAHM & we live in the middle of nowhere so we don't get out much or have many visitors either. So really there's no real immediate need for the house to look like this all the time.

However if it isn't clean & tidy I feel out & feel really stressed. Plus it's easy to keep it like this so why not. Even the kids tidy up :)

If you fee like it's getting to much for you then maybe see your GP I went in medication for depression & my anxiety has calmed down quite a bit to.

SevenSeconds · 11/10/2015 22:03

I find it easy to relax if the house is untidy.

Lilipot15 · 11/10/2015 22:05

DH can't relax with "stuff" around, I can look past it. I do see how he enjoys a clutter-free house though, I just find it harder to achieve than him.
We had a big row about it last week, all sorted (for now), agreed that I'll not go on at him for pottering around putting things away when I'm relaxing.

Original poster

buddhasbelly · 11/10/2015 22:08

They trialled me on medication before ladymary and unfortunately I had a seizure so the GP wouldn't prescribe me anything else and id be very cautious to take any meds now. I do go to counselling though and that helps a lot, just flares up a bit when exp is being abusive.

I think the little and often thing is key as a pp said, it's funny though if anyone comes round and the toys are out i can hear myself saying oh there's no point putting them away just to come back out again in a little bit. Im slowly starting to learn i dont need to justify myself and i dont want to pass on unhealthy anxieties to my dd

OP posts:

FelixFelix · 11/10/2015 22:18

I can relate to this. I get incredibly stressed if the house is a mess and I just can't stand it. I used to suffer quite badly with anxiety and I'd feel much better if i did a really good clean and the house was spotless. The anxiety is almost gone now but I think I've fell in to the habit of messy house = being really stressed.

I'm also the same if visitors come unexpectedly. I need lots of notice if someone is coming round or I am mortified if the house is a 'mess' (which I know isn't really a mess in the grand scheme of things but it really is to me). If I know someone is coming I will spend literally hours doing a deep clean on the house or I will dread them coming round. I think deep down I don't have that much self esteem and think I'll get horribly judged if my house isn't pristine.

I'd love to be one of these people who isn't that bothered but I've just accepted it now. I love the feeling I get when the house is truly spotless. But then DP & DD ruin it within 5 minutes!!

GeneandFred · 12/10/2015 17:41

Nope. Not one bit. Drives me insane but to be honest I like a tidy, clean organised house. I've got a cleaning schedule where I clean bits every day and repeat each week. If I didn't it would be a tip and I would be stressed. Dh isn't great at cleaning so I end up doing most of it. Don't mind though to be honest.

hangingoutattheendofmywick · 12/10/2015 17:45

No - it really bothers me and affects my mental health to have a messy house. Though our "tidy" might vs relative .... We have two children under 3. But I can't eat / drink / function in the House until it's tidied / vacuumed and clean. I've done hours and hours worth of cleaning today and I now feel a sense of relief. For me - a tidy house equals a tidy mind. Cleaning / tidying and organising is very therapeutic too.

Original poster

buddhasbelly · 12/10/2015 19:17

Thats interesting hangingout I definitely do feel that to an extent if my house is messy then there's something a bit messy going on in my mind (but then the mess can also be explained by the small person here that wants to pull everything out of everywhere.

I'm back from work dd is in bed and the dishes etc are done, this is now relax time. Equally there are other things that I just cant do eg get into an unmade bed, it just ^feels^ wrong

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SixtyFootDoll · 12/10/2015 19:33

I like to to have the kitchen tidy and wiped down and the living room tidy to sit down of an evening. I can't relax looking at mess.

rabbit123 · 13/10/2015 10:04

I can barely sit still as it is, but if the house is a tip, it really stresses me out. I have no patience and zero tolerance when it comes to mess and dirt. After dinner, I can't and never would relax until the dishes are done and the kitchen has been cleaned. And if I spot something with dust on it, even if I'm chilling on the sofa at the time, I will get up and clean it straight away.
I don't have OCD, I'm just fussy lol.
I love cleaning anyway so I'm happy to do it :)

ThatsDissapointing · 13/10/2015 10:10

I can't stand lots of mess - my house is fairly tidy but not quite perfect. I feel more relaxed and happy when it's tidy.

It's up to other people how they live but I find it a bit when people apologise for their houses being messy when there is no reason (health/little kids/renovating/etc)

Original poster

buddhasbelly · 13/10/2015 20:06

Obsessive compulsive cleaners is on, I'm feeling a bit better about my house now

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BrandNewAndImproved · 13/10/2015 20:08

Im watching that to budda!

She's being really fucking rude.

Original poster

buddhasbelly · 13/10/2015 20:19

Yes she is! I quite liked his comeback though, "these are my flowers do you like them?"

"no, not really" he doesn't beat around the bush does he?!

I would find it difficult to be at either end of the spectrum (hoarder/extremely dirty home vs a home cleaned to within an inch of its life)

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BrandNewAndImproved · 13/10/2015 20:28

His come back was awesome. How old do you think she is? She acts about 20 but looks late 30s or is that the ton of makeup? I know I'm being bitchy

I really like the other two!

Original poster

buddhasbelly · 13/10/2015 20:31

I would say she's 24? But yes looks older. Now getting a bit frustrated with ken and his endless fag breaks, he had a ton of vhs tapes covered in layers of dust, BIN THEM KEN!!

OP posts:

ziggyziggy · 13/10/2015 20:37

i have a bit of messy house anxiety going on.... i work from home so it's important to me to have it quite zen like or i feel I can't get on with my work! I guess it's a way of procrastinating...

also the mess makes me anxious - reminding me of things I have to do... things to sort, decisions to be made etc... so i try my very best to keep on top of it.

decluttering regularly helps me to stay on top of it but i still stress when there's mess in between...with a young toddler things get out of hand quickly!!

BrandNewAndImproved · 13/10/2015 20:39

Yes you can tell he really doesn't like cleaning!

BrandNewAndImproved · 13/10/2015 20:43

Do you ever find you clean up because your procrastinating about other things.

Ie when I had a bit of debt I couldn't ring the companies to sort it out until I cleaned my flat. I would do a full spring clean every day and sort out all my cupboards and by the time I finished it would be to late.

Now I don't have anything to put off I'm more relaxed about cleaning. I still tidy up especially before bed but I don't end up mopping my floors and polishing anymore.

Original poster

buddhasbelly · 13/10/2015 20:54

Yes to the procrastination brandnew I always find something to tidy/clean if I have something else to do that I don't want to do.

To anyone watching obsessive compulsive cleaners, I really hope Jose has more people in his life than his postman (although posty did seem lovely. But did he have to wear his royal mail polo shirt?!)

OP posts:

BrandNewAndImproved · 13/10/2015 20:59

I thought that to budda I would have a cup of tea with him if he was my neighbour. He seemed lonely.

Ive also noticed most of the men on this show and previous series have all lost their wife's.

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