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Housekeeping

Find cleaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Housekeeping forum.

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Original poster

can you relax if your home is messy?

71 replies

buddhasbelly · 11/10/2015 19:08

Just that really. I cant sit down until the living room and kitchen have both been tidied (not talking a deep clean or anything, just the dishes done/ toys put away, highchair wiped down etc).

It's not even for my benefit, I honestly wouldn't be that bothered with a bit of mess (well apart from the dishes eurgh) but I sometimes get a visitor (parents) turning up unannounced and would feel I would be judged with a bit of mess about the place. Is anyone else like this or just me?

OP posts:

Joy69 · 11/10/2015 20:06

Don't like dirt, but abit of mess is what makes a house a home. Can't stand going into a house like a show home. Nice to feelat ease with that glass of red wine

Original poster

buddhasbelly · 11/10/2015 20:13

See my parents' house is quite show homey, growing up if you left a mug out overnight it was as if you'd chucked Ribena over the cream carpet.

And in saying I cant relax, I've just gone through to the kitchen and remembered that there is a load of washing that needed hung up oh say 10 hours ago...that'll be a tomorrow morning job then - that doesn't bother me, the washing is in the machine and not staring at me in a basket which feels ok

OP posts:

Original poster

buddhasbelly · 11/10/2015 20:16

buttonbee yy to the washing, I spent half an hour putting away piles of clean clothes, I swear the clothes were breeding. Apart from the socks, obviously there were less socks, the sock fairies stole some

OP posts:

firefly78 · 11/10/2015 20:19

wont your washing smell damp buddha?

no i cant relax if its a mess. depressing though when it will be total chaos again in the morning

Corygal · 11/10/2015 20:20

Yes. I insist on being able to nap in the midst of chaos.

Original poster

buddhasbelly · 11/10/2015 20:22

No firefly for some reason can leave washing in there for a day and it still smells v fresh - quite a fancy machine (won it, checked the price after was circa £650 could never have afforded it myself so was a good day!) so dries the clothes quite a lot on its last spin

OP posts:

stuckinahole · 11/10/2015 20:24

No. Defo not.

bigbadbarry · 11/10/2015 20:26

It's a good job I can else I'd never get to relax :)

Finola1step · 11/10/2015 20:26

I like downstairs to be sorted before I or DH take dc up for bath and bed. So dinner stuff in the dishwasher, counters and dining table wiped down. Toys etc put away, cushions tidied, quick hoover of floor if needed. I love coming back down to a more grown up living space once dc are tucked up in bed. DH and I have done this since ds was a baby. Its like a "clocking off" routine so that once the dc are in bed and I walk down those stairs, it is time for "me time".

I also hate coming down to a messy kitchen first thing in the morning.

fieldfare · 11/10/2015 20:30

No I can't. I find it irritating.
Lounge has to be tidy, kitchen tidy, dishwasher on and washing up done so it's clear to come down to in the morning.

mumofthemonsters808 · 11/10/2015 20:30

No I could not relax, I can't stand mess, that's why I spend a lot of my time tidying up. Some would say it is wasted time, but I feel better when the house is tidy . I could not sit down and watch the telly if the living room was a tip, I like my house to look nice.

Original poster

buddhasbelly · 11/10/2015 20:31

Thats the bit that I would want an oh for finola (sorry not to sound like a pity party!) instead before I take dd upstairs for her bath we tidy up the living room together and she now knows when she comes back down after her bath that the toys stay put away. Then when she watches the night garden I do the kitchen so that my relax time begins as soon as she's in bed after night garden/story.

So in a way I do still come down the stairs to tidiness falls apart from time to time if ill etc

OP posts:

Buglife · 11/10/2015 20:33

No, I can't sit in the evening and have relaxing 'me' or adult time with DH if there are still toys and clutter from a day with DS lying around. And jobs mounting up to do does not make me relax! I think if you do little bits often it's easier to keep tidy anyway and then you can do stuff quickly and then relax.

Buttwing · 11/10/2015 20:35

No I can't. We all tidy up together at the end of the day I have a wipe down and sweep the floor. I also have all the clothes/uniforms for the morning ready but only because we have an early start and I have four dc to get ready and out by eight.

Original poster

buddhasbelly · 11/10/2015 20:42

buttwing I'm not at the school stage but work pt so dd goes to nursery. I've been doing this since she was 11 months old so you would think our morning routine would now less involve turning the house into a bomb site but somehow we manage it!

The days where dd stays at her gp's (maybe once a week/fortnight to give me a break) I love solely because the house is so tidy for a whole 24hrs!

OP posts:

museumum · 11/10/2015 20:43

I do like to get the dishwasher on. But ds's toys are only tidied a few times a week. Doing it every night made me feel I was living in Groundhog Day.

Original poster

buddhasbelly · 11/10/2015 20:53

Thats exactly how I feel of an evening museumum groundhog day, sums it up nicely

OP posts:

LadyMaryofDownt0n · 11/10/2015 21:18

No can't relax, neither can DH. I can honestly say the house is always clean & tidy but that's because we both detest mess.

I wasn't always as tidy but I've had PTSD/PND & huge anxiety so it's developed I to a need to clean & also not be judged.

Archer26 · 11/10/2015 21:23

Ooh this is me. I cannot sit down and relax if there is clutter. My DH is the complete opposite and we drive each other mad. I have to tidy the kitchen straight after tea but if he cooks he leaves it until he goes to bed

When we put DS to bed I always do a quick tidy up, put bouncer/play mat away. Husband thinks this is mad as they'll be back by the morning but I can't relax with them
Sitting there, in the middle of the room, leering.......

Each to their own I say

CremeEggThief · 11/10/2015 21:26

No. Everywhere has to be tidy all the time. I have mild cfs and being very tidy is a way of coping and staying in control. I don't mind a few crumbs on the floor and a cup or two unwashed after the washing up is done, but I can't cope with anything more than that.

Pixi2 · 11/10/2015 21:26

As long as the kitchen and bathroom are clean and tidy I can relax with a bit of mess in the other rooms. I like getting up to a clean kitchen to prepare breakfast and packed lunches whilst I make a cup of tea. Again, I like a clean and tidy bathroom.
Right now there's four piles of freshly ironed clothes on the sitting room floor waiting to be put away. I can't do it now as the DC are just on their way to sleep and the noise would cause them to wake up. Not so bad but they're 6&4yrs and hard enough to get to sleep as it is.

Original poster

buddhasbelly · 11/10/2015 21:28

Your reasons for tidiness are snapped with mine ladymary I get quite anxious on days (like today) when me and dd are in the house for quite a large part of it (or days where we don't leave the house, no groups/nursery) I get quite anxious having all the toys out and i need to tell myself that there is not reason to put them away when dd is having a nap as she will just want them back out again, but then I get paranoid that this will be the moment someone pops round.

My exp had been quite abusive 2 weeks ago and the police were round, I kept apologising for the mess (was too panicked to tidy up) and they kept having to reassure me that they didn't care about the mess, that they could guarantee they have seen properties a million times worse but I still kept apologising!

OP posts:

Original poster

buddhasbelly · 11/10/2015 21:31

Oh and informing one police officer that this was a days worth of clutter that dd creates he was he had no kids and couldn't believe that dd can create that amount of mess in just one day (looking back it actually wasn't that bad!)

OP posts:

TheExMotherInLaw · 11/10/2015 21:53

Sadly, I can relax when there's a mess. So I relax - so there's still a mess.
Not quite as bad as when the kids lived here, tho, but dh is a messy bugger. and I'm not much better

QuietIsland2 · 11/10/2015 21:59

I swing from extremes of tidiness and mess. I'd rather have a tidy house but sometimes give up!

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