Autumn leaves flutter as October Fledglings Fly!

[standclear]

Welcome to the October 2015 Fledgling Flying thread!

Park your broomsticks and cauldrons here!! Or is that just me ?

This is where, from the 1st of the month, we attempt to declutter and follow the 30-step wisdom of Flylady (minus cutesy language and a surfeit of e-mails) with lots of chat and support and mutual motivation (and of course) along the way.

More info available here and here and here.

As usual we will be following a three-pronged approach - and don't worry - we are all at different stages. (Some of us are still stuck at the decluttering stage after quite a few years ):

• repeat or start baby steps (again!)

• repeat baby steps + do 15 mins a day decluttering in the current zone

or

• reinforce babysteps and do daily missions if you have finished decluttering.

And those of you who have decluttered and are really enthusiastic can throw some detailed cleaning in to the mix as well!

The idea is that we focus on short, ring-fenced, daily steps and routines that will help our homes run (more or less!) on "automatic pilot" allowing us to do far more interesting things instead!

This is a very long-running thread so we may appear cliquey but we really aren't! All newcomers, long-termers, lurkers and intermittent returnees not only welcome to join in but positively encouraged to do so!

Helpful pointers: No perfectionism allowed! If it took a while to create the current C.H.A.O.S. (can't have anyone over syndrome) in your home, then it will probably take a while to reverse the situation (you can't clean clutter!). Small steps are the key! And you are never behind: just jump in where you are at!

Any questions, don't hesitate to ask!

Good luck!

Finally, Blue! Congratulations! But you must be in a state of disbelief after all those false starts.

Hurrah Blue! About bloody time! Really pleased it's happened for you :)

Oh Toffee bless your DS1. I'm glad he told you but how sweet of him to want to shelter you from it. I hope things improve.

No flying here today, think I'll stick a wash on before I leave, I had blood tests this morning (new specialist ordered them) and now going to make a picnic for the train - going to see a film and exhibition with my DSD this afternoon, just us two :)

Yes, I was very touched by DS1's concern too, fuzz. Very thoughtful of him. Enjoy your time out with DSD. Sounds like a nice plan.

Don't know why I'm not flagging after so little sleep, but I'm still fine . Have done some Flying (mainly kitchen stuff) and am about to go into town to catch up on various chores. Not looking forward to going out in that dull, cold weather.

Have also booked cats in for their annual vaccination this afternoon, so that's all taken care of before I start work.

I've been busy sorting out some clutter in the kitchen cupboards this morning. I'm not sure why I have so much tupperware as I rarely make sandwiches! I'm ditching several ice cube trays too. We rarely use them so I'm just keeping the ones that stack neatly, and losing the strays that get messy.

ta da
deal with feverish child who is shaking in his sleep due to fever :(
banking in next town (dmum sat with ds whilst i ran errands and I picked her essential food shop bits as she couldn't face a trip out today)

only thing planned is knitting. Lots and lots of knitting. And possibly fighting ds over the issue of a tepid bath to cool him down. poor kid really isn't well, he turned down ice cream

Sorry DS is so unwell, Cant. Turning down ice cream is serious . I hope he improves soon.

Well done on the Tupperware and ice-cube tray decluttering, MrsMook. I have been wondering if I can declutter all the extra mugs we have (mostly given as joke presents) without upsetting family members.

Quick walk into town. Chores done. DH has collected DS1, who is now on his half-term holiday.

Drinking , then off to the vet.

SC you are taking them on a tour aren't you I am sure those diamonds aren't a purchase surely

and DOG has the right idea...

Just taken ds to home ed football and then he did film making session (very patiently waited but no acting today) with the other boys in the park.
Also managed to get very cross with him today beforehand though. His conversational skills seem to have massively deteriorated, possibly puberty, possibly HFA and almost certainly due to the uncertainty and multiple assessments of the last few weeks and listening to him talk to his NT friend who comes over for football drop off was maddening. Friend mentioned something fun he had done, ds2 paid absolutely no attention and launched into long monologue about a photo he wanted friend to look at. Then ds2 screamed at me for asking friend a question because friend was for him to talk to (or talk at). It is really offputting, everyone is so nice and welcoming to him but he just refuses to think of their point of view, ever when I'm there. May be better when I am not there but I doubt it. Small breakthrough though is that he admitted that it was important to put up with boredom of waiting around during filming if he wanted to stay in film director's good books, and NOT as he had previously done, complain that it was his turn. (everyone else is very patient btw and he has had lots of screen glory so far) Other good thing is that he asked one boy how his Paris trip had gone and listened to the answer.

still, I am finding it very frustrating, knowing that I have to nip this in the bud and reinforce the conversational skills, and not just let ds2 get away with holding forth. Or he is going to be so isolated and get even angrier that no-one is listening to him. He hates criticism but this is so important for him.

finishes holding forth [blush

Toffee also agree with the bless comment from Fuzz. How kind of him to appreciate your efforts, and to realise it would worry you to complain. I think one of the problems with HFA is that you are acutely sensitive to other people messing around partly because you are extra sensitive anyway and partly your own concentration is hardwon; also it is so difficult to know whether the teacher might get cross in response or whether they SHOULD get cross, and impose rules...and it is a new source of anxiety.

I wonder whether me getting agitated about ds2's monologuing today was an oversensitive, possibly the NT child just thought, oh well, I'll repeat my comment in another moment or two. Maybe the teacher doesn't notice just how disruptive these other children are to your ds1.

I know friends whose children have exploded because of the other children's bad behaviour..I think it is worth telling the school how anxious it is making your ds. I think on the Goose and Carrot, someone was saying how their child in year 7 was finding it very difficult worrying about other children being told off, even though his mum said, only worry about yourself being told off. (I think it was Kidding)

BLUE wonderful news. Now you can think and plan about the NEW HOUSE...YAY!!! Garden, bulbs, décor, near new school, Christmas in new house, blank slate and decluttered!!!! Yay..it will be worth it, and we will all be incredibly jealous of you (looks at manky existing habitat)

Toffee all our mugs are joke mugs or presents, not a matching one among them (apart from the fake Sevres ones, 3 of those) I rather love it. I would like to put dates on them too just to remind me. Wedding mugs really do get used forever, unlike vases If anyone on this thread is in RL called Fleur, I still have your Rennie Mackintosh mug from 1997

Have banned screens till 5pm for ds2, and told him to do some reading. Very unlikely, he has probably reconnected all 18 wires of the tv.

4 hope ds cools down, it is frightening but it does seem to hasten the departure of the virus these high fevers; body fighting back.

at Knitting Not sure about decluttered though, it tends to come with the boys!

Hope DS is on the mend, Cant

Ta da!
Exchanged contracts
Did tax return
Bits of admin
Dropped charity bag off
Cake sale at DS2's school
Celebration dinner

[Waves feebly] Yes, diamonds were for viewing not buying sadly

Wasn't a bad day in the end actually poss because it's the last

[double take] cor blimey Blue have I really seen "exchanged contracts" on your ta da list?!!! Can it really be true? Yippeeeee!! So relieved for you!!

Hope your ds is OK Can'tsee [concerned]

Waves to MrsMook congrats on cupboard decluttering!

Knitting I think we are all over-sensitive/acutely aware of our dc's failings; probably more aware than those around them. And everyone wouldn't be so nice and welcoming to your ds2 if his evident and many good points didn't outweigh the ones you have identified as less good but definitely improving!! (And improvements in dc never linear)

Hope your ds2 feels better soon Toffee and that you can catch up on sleep tonight.

Waves from coop to ¨Whoknows Scatty and all fledglings!

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Baby-step no. 17 for tomorrow, Sat 17th Oct, is the one that needs no introduction about setting a bed-time and sticking to it [looks at no one in particular ]

Tomorrow will be our last day in Zone 3: The Bathroom and One Extra Room (October 11 – 17) : here.

Declutter for 15 mins in Zone 3 (or do a mission!) if you want to.

If you are at that stage, the detailed cleaning list for Zone 3 is here.

No missions because it is the weekend.

Incidentally newcomers: fyi we will be starting in Zone 4: The Master Bedroom this forthcoming week (October 18 – 24).

Sat's daily focus is: family fun

The habit for October is: www.flylady.net/d/habits-of-the-month/october/ decluttering paper clutter!

A summary of the above (which should update itself daily) can be found here in the Flightplan: www.flylady.net/c/fp.php?tzm=-120.

Have a good weekend everyone! - Especially in the Blue household !!!!

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Still feel ridiculously awake! Problem with getting back late was that I took my (sedating as a side effect) medication much later :o

Film was AMAZING, DSD and I feel rather emotionally wrung out, but in a good way. Everyone in the audience clapped at the end :)

And we managed the manga exhibition, really made me laugh as one of the excerpts from a new manga story actually mentioned Mumsnet :o :o

Staying home tomorrow, just planning on laundry and finishing off the quiz, then have more typing during the week. Both deadlines have ended up in the same week, oops.

Glad you enjoyed the film and manga exhibition, fuzz (love the fact that MN was mentioned in a manga story ). What film did you see? Sounds like a good one.

SC - hurrah for the final day of playing host! I'm glad the trip out went so well.

Blue - am so happy for you. What a rough time you've had, but now, as knitting says, you can focus on the new house.

knitting - that's a good point about the poor concentration and acute sensitivity that comes with HFA. What seems like a bit of banter to the teacher may seem so much worse to DS1. I think the issue is that he really doesn't want to make friends there - he just wants to get his GCSEs and move on. He said that he overheard some boys whispering about him yesterday, whilst he was trying to sit quietly and get on with his work. He heard them saying, "Let's annoy him!" DS1 told them to "F* off" and they went away! However, it looks as if he is now seen as a fun target to annoy, so I will have to mention that to school so they can keep an eye on it.

Cant - how's your boy today?

DS2 was very upset yesterday because he'd missed two days of school. Then he realised that half term is coming up for him in a week and was upset about that too, although was consoled when I reminded him he's doing a film course with some old school friends. Can't believe he's actually upset at NOT going to school .

Drank elderflower juice, instead of wine, last night and put myself to bed at 10.30. Slept right through for eight hours, not even waking when an alarm went off outside at 5am (kept DH awake for hours). This is part of my prep for the new job on Monday.

Had a bit of a disagreement with DH yesterday evening. AIBU to think that when he says he's taking over the school pick ups and childcare (and will have dinner on the table for me, no less ), I can rely on him for that, especially in my first week at work? Instead, he suddenly asked me to sort after-school care for DS2 on Tuesday as he'd arranged to meet an old friend. I had to ring round my friends, asking them if they could have DS2 till I'd finished work. The embarrassing thing, for me, was that I owed them favours, rather than the other way round. Anyway, they were all lovely and helpful, of course, and it's all sorted, but will mean I have to walk miles after my first full day of work (first day is an hour shorter) to collect DS2, bring him home and do dinners, etc. As I pointed out to a nonplussed and defensive DH, I would undoubtedly have said yes, go ahead and meet friend (it is a rare opportunity to see someone that he hasn't seen for ages), but would have appreciated being ASKED, rather than TOLD. DH admitted, once he'd lowered his defensive shields, that he didn't realise the nuances of asking favours between mums. (I'm always careful to bear in mind when it's my turn to have someone's child over and hate asking for extra favours).

Anyway, I expect I will get used to the juggling of childcare duties in due course and had expected a degree of this, naturally, but not so soon. And I know I'm fortunate to have a DH who can usually do this stuff because of his flexible work.

DH is out for the day today (reunion with old college friends) and I'm focusing on getting my clothes washed and ironed, ready for Monday. Am aiming to have five outfits all ready to wear, so I don't have to think about what to wear first thing every morning. Same with DS2's clothes for school. (DS1 is on holiday now, so can sort himself out).

Also have lots of tidying and cleaning up to do today. And my bedside table is a disgrace . Am acutely conscious that I've told my new employer I'm 'highly organised' .

It was a film called The Boy and the Beast Toffee :) really good film about a warrior and his apprentice, also took inspiration from Moby Dick. We did hope to see the latest Studio Ghibli as well but it was sold out so I'm still searching for a general release date for it.

Don't worry about the organisational skills BTW - just because you find it hard at home doesn't actually mean you won't manage in your job! It is two different environments, with different incentives! I've often wondered how I can manage myself at work pretty well and yet completely fail at home :o but I actually think it's pretty common. I bet you'll surprise yourself :)

Glad you sorted the childcare issue, I know what you mean about it falling to you again - and about hating asking for favours. It's funny, we don't normally fit the usual stereotype of 'man works woman does everything at home' but childcare is the one 'blind spot' of DH's IYSWIM and it's always me that sorts it with him not having a clue! I do get frustrated sometimes because it feels like he can just swan off to work but TBH I have a huge amount of blind spots so I think I still got the better deal :o

Toffee you sound hugely organised to me..even to have someone lined up to take ds2 (I never cracked the childcare at all Fuzzpig ) and to have thought through the outfits for work. Men are so happy go lucky aren't they? It probably doesn't occur to him to subtle interplay of duty and kindness that underly our friendships; men tend to rely on themselves (or their wives) - friends are for having a good time. When dh went to hospital he was very low because he couldn't think of anyone who could have come and visited him - he didn't associate friendship with that sort of thing, more with jolly lunches.

Fuzzpig last year I did Moby Dick with ds2 as our literacy work in home ed, so I am very interested to hear there is a film influenced by it. And of course Laputa is related to Gulliver's Travels. Glad you had such an inspiring evening.

Dropped dd at drama, and managed to knock over a wall (at least I scraped against it, I hope the coping had already fallen off.. no I am certain it was already off, but a reminder that I am not such a reliable driver as I really didn't notice the low wall at all

Dd's latest obsession is that she wants a new carpet in her room so we are organising that this afternoon, hope I can get offcut somewhere and quick fitter. One of those things it is good to do whilst dh is away as he gets in such a tizzy about household renovations.

Ds2 still being quite intractable..like your ds2 Toffeenow that he has his new routine he is not very pleased that it has broken up for TWO weeks for half term. However, in our case we can go back to Parks Group on Tuesday which is something we were missing due to Tuition clashing. And of course these endless assessments and appointments next week.

Ds1 is fast asleep, bless him in a fug of teenage chaos.

Afternoon everyone.

Been out this morning to gather in the pistolets and croissants and jambon d'ardenne and cheeses and saladings for final lunch. Now making soup.

Feeling decidedly feeble now. Departing train times later than thought, so just have to survive until 4. 15pm ish (insha'Allah).

Still feeling very relieved for you blue. Had a horrible feeling it was all going to go belly up at one point; so glad it's not!!

Agree with others Toffee that you sound very organised to me, and totally understand why you feel a bit put out by having to work around your dh on your first day of work, rather than it being the other way around.

Had better get on; waves to Knitting, Fuzzpig, Cantsee, MrsMook and everyone else currently in the coop, visiting frequently, popping in from time to time, or lurking in the tree-tops!

Have good Saturdays one and all!

Thank you for the support everyone. DH is suitably contrite and now realises why I was so cross. Or, at least, acknowledges that his actions made me cross even if he doesn't quite understand why. You are so right, knitting, that he has little idea about the unspoken rules of sharing childcare and play dates between mums.

I hope you're right, fuzz, that it may be easier to be organised at work than at home. That's encouraging to hear.

And I have made a note of that film in case DS2 is interested, thanks.

Sorry about the minor accident this morning, knitting. And good luck with organising the new carpet fitting this afternoon.

SC - that lunch sounds so exotic and delicious . I hope you have a lovely, relaxing, visitor-free evening planned.

Have been into town to pick up a pot of primer from Boots (it promises to erase all my lines ) and some new tights for work. I have also bought myself a notebook, sticky notes and pens, so that I can at least give an impression of efficiency next week.

Off to start the ironing now...

Just catching up with the thread. What's the Goose and Carrot?!

Thank you also knitting for the turmeric rice recipe.

ta da
Towel wash on
More quiz-writing - really taking shape now!
Sorted some laundry
Figured out travel plans for tomorrow (another festival screening, with DH and DCs this time... possibly Science Museum if I'm up to it)

Errm that's it. Will do the drying later. I also need to leave a message with CAMHS. I got a letter from the person who had come to see DD, saying that he'd tried to reach us several times. Neither of us have had missed calls or anything so I'm going to leave a voicemail if possible, repeating our phone numbers.

More washing on. Still ironing.

And the DC are having far too much screen time .

We also have a decluttering issue. DH threw away DS2's old doll's house, which had been stored in the loft for about a year. DS2 asked for it the other day and I had to admit it had gone. He was really upset and now wants a new one for his 10th birthday. I'm torn because I remember how awful it was when my toys were thrown away without my permission as a child and I feel sympathy for DS2; on the other hand, we can't keep everything.

I'm just imagining the look on DH's face if DS2 unwraps a perfect replica of the doll's house he threw away!

[packs cheeses and chocolates and continental sausages and wine in to separate carrying bags, waves off guests and dh (who is nobly driving them all to station) clears up lunch, turns on dw, strips 3 beds and makes up new ones, crawls in to thread, does a little shimmy of relief, admits to being a horrible, horrible unsociable person , and falls on to sofa for a small zzzzzzzzzzz. ]

Toffee funny you say that about doll's house. Dd wasn't interested in our very plain chunky doll's house at all, but when she was 10 she suddenly became a Laurence Llewellyn Bowen of doll's houses, decorated the whole interior from top to bottom with decorated paper, painted bits, made curtains, ordered new retro furniture from pocket money, arranged light fittings. Finally when she was 11.5 we passed it on to my niece who was 3. Whose mum painted it all white again.

And do you know dd has never stopped rearranging her room since I had a doll's house phase too, decorating, rather than playing with figures I mean, between about 11 and 14. I wonder what aspect of the doll's house your son likes, is it the imaginary world or the arranging/designing things? Perhaps both.

Carpet suspended due to not finding right colour..hmm. We went and looked though. And dd and her friend moved furniture, so house is worse tip than ever [sigh]

I have made some lamb stew, which then burnt when I was out, still tastes alright though in a caramelly sort of way.

SC How many meals have you given these visitors Hope they have you to stay soon.

I feel soo tired now, up far too late yester day doing nothing in particular,now I want to expire, and today was meant to be supremely relaxing, but somehow short of sedating the kids I feel I cannot entirely sign out. Ds1 has just come back from a walk and singing loudly etc. Dd is in the shed making curtains for shed (she wants something!) and ds2 has come back from drama.

hurrah for a zzzzz, job well done SC

DD asked for Happyland for Christmas! She's 8. They have heaps already though, we aren't even getting them any Playmobil (reeeally hard to resist temptation though) this year.

Just realised that friend is visiting, I'd forgotten until I got the text saying she was on the way! Thankfully it'll be about 40mins, not that she's ever bothered by the state of the place, but still, it's a tip in here!

Oh gawd, I really want to get rid of DD (9)'s Happyland and Doll's house. We haven't got space anywhere for her to use the Happyland, or any of her Playmobil.

[Thank you Knitting]

[Vicarious excitement on behalf of Toffee getting ready for work]

Hope your ds is feeling much better tonight Can't see.

Big waves to one and all!

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Baby-step no. 18 for tomorrow, Sun 18th Oct, is here. Read Flylady's eleven commandments.

We will be starting in Zone 4 this week: The Master Bedroom or boudoir as we call it, there being no Masters on this thread thank you very much! (October 18 – 24) here.

Declutter for 15 mins in Zone 4 (or do a mission!) if you want to.

If you are at that stage, the detailed cleaning list for Zone 4 is here.

No missions because it is the weekend!

Sun's daily focus is: renewing your spirit.

The habit for October is: www.flylady.net/d/habits-of-the-month/october/ decluttering paper clutter!

A summary of the above (which should update itself daily) can be found here in the Flightplan: www.flylady.net/c/fp.php?tzm=-120.

Wishing all Fledglings a peaceful Sunday in the coop!

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