The Hoarders Anonymous Thread Part Two...Still Sorting It Out ~ Together!

[Solo]

Sorting out the home when you're a hoarder (big or small) is never going to be easy and we should know! but having someone else to support you, talk about it with you and make you feel much less of a freak of mother nature makes a huge difference!

If you are any of the following:
A hoarder. In a mess. Untidy. Disorganised. Lazy with housework that has lead to something that you now feel unable to deal with. If you are ill and not coping with the housework. If you are emotionally attached to items for whatever reason. If you have a combination of any or all of these things or something completely different, please join us. No one here will judge you. We have something in common and we have a common goal. We share our ideas and we share our disappointments no matter how big and our celebrations no matter how small.

Welcome to thread number 2! :)

Is it still very expensive there? I had a quick look at various holidays there/flights only/accommodation only and it's really really dear now. In '84 had honeymoon there. I think it cost something like £300 ~ certainly under £400 for 10 days bed, breakfast and evening meal for two of us and it was in a top notch hotel in the Ziller Valley...but it was hugely expensive to buy anything there.

Today I cleaned my cooker top and front and all knobs. Looks so much better! I also put away some things and washed up and put the dishwasher on with a load. Loads more to do, but I felt good doing that bit. All washing bar the bed sheets washed.

I missed out that I also cleared and cleaned the bathroom window sill which was disgusting! I forgot I'd done it until I saw it this morning! :)

Seefeld had an enormous Spar with delicious looking food - I saw this two years ago, but I went with Ds offpeak just the two of us and we were fullboard at our hotel so didn't use it. I know you can book apartments more cheaply than a hotel if you want to self cater, but the flights to Innsbruck or Salzburg would be expensive and booked out as they are mostly charters. There is always the option of Munich and then a train journey if you organised the travel and accommodation separately,but ds doesn't do long journeys and we are not very intrepid so we didn't even investigate that option. And we don't drive so that wasn't a possibility either. I have friends who have driven all the way to Austria, booked an airBnb or Owners Direct and it was very cheap that way, but I personally could never manage that, ever!!!

Sitting room looks lovely. Just want to keep the surfaces clear!! Had another row with dh today though, as the fallout from yesterday. He was angry because I started removing a dusty lightshade to replace it with a new one and then left it in the path at the front and he tripped over it. He has apologised. Honestly, this does not bring out the best in either of us.

Rollcall. I have dusted the tops of some pictures and door frames. Removed some more christmas decs. Thrown out some of dd paperwork from year 7. washed some clothes. taken dry clothes upstairs. Screamed at kids to put them away Removed old lampshade, dusted another one, thrown away two plastic chest of drawers and decluttered reallocated contents to much smaller area,

and then stalled because I tried to throw away a loose cover that was really old and holey and thought, oh dear should I keep it to use as template for a loose cover I could make in the future for grubby sofa. AAARGH...stalled again.

in the meantime bought a steam cleaner to try and clean aforesaid grubby sofa and grubby armchair and new hoover, and new floor duster.

Floorboards are clear at least. It is nice to see the floor in two rooms. At least three major floor clearups to go though, bedroom x 2, playroom/utility/ and the landing still grrrr. Stuff is just getting moved in circles in these rooms and the shredder is driving me insane, dustier and dustier and never in use!!!

I came to this board to start a thread, but it's here already!

Can someone help me throw stuff out? I have a charity bag being collected tomorrow, and each time I get one I promise myself I will use it, but I have two items in it and I expect I will find a reason not to part with them before tomorrow.

Background is I'm the daughter of hoarders. Mother still is. She keeps even broken stuff.

My problem is clothes mainly. I have a double wardrobe in my daughters room, as well as the one in my own room. I have jackets and shoes in every cupboard in the house. I have a lovely sheepskin coat I haven't worn for 25 years.

One of the problems is probably that everything I have still fits me, even from 30 odd years ago!

In the past if I have thrown anything away, as soon as it's gone I am troubled by it for ever more. I still regret getting rid of a jacket I didn't wear anymore, because I liked it and I might have started wearing it again one day.

My wardrobes are stuffed to busting. I never get rid of anything, but love clothes and just keep stuffing them in.

How can I begin to get over this, I make myself so cross!

what helps me is to think that the clothes are being worn by someone else, rather than think of them being "thrown away" or lost. Yes, you might like it and value it, but there is someone else there, missing out because you haven't parted with it.

Or you could think of your wardrobe as an archive..and take pictures of everything, put them in an album and then select one in three items blindly to keep. The thing is, if you keep buying new clothes and wearing them too,the old ones might be in very good nick too, which makes it even harder to give them away as they are not old and shabby...and the greater the feeling you are wasting something valuable.

But you are not, you are creating space in your life for new purchases, or maybe reminding yourself that you have too many clothes, and that the money could go on something else you like, to treat yourself.

I am not a clothes hoarder by any means, but I do find myself remembering things I have given away (there was a beautiful embroidered silk vicose emerald green skirt from M & S I used to wear with a cappucino coloured linen jacket - both gone because they didn't fit me anymore) and then I just think, yes, I can remember it without having it. It is still fresh in my memory. And my absolutely favourite slinky red and white dress from Laura Ashley I wore to every party in my 20's. It doesn't look good now, so in fact memory is better than having it sadly in my cupboard.

The other thing that helps is to stop buying new clothes, and just wear the old ones After a bit you get so bored of the old ones you long to throw them away. That has worked for me in the past! -or getting fatter and hair getting greyer and certain styles no longer suiting

The other thing is to think what clothes represent for you. Did you have all the lovely clothes you wanted as a child or teen? Did buying new clothes only happen when you were in control of finances? Did they represent freedom and rewarding yourself for hardwork or some self worth/attractiveness, or were you just a very creative person who loves beautiful things? Could you imagine a room full of ornaments, all beautiful some of them put in a cupboard and rotated, what would you think about that? Do clothes feel more alive than ornaments, part of you, is that why you struggle - a second self that dates back a long way?

My mother hoards her clothes from the past, as a symbol of her life when she was young and beautiful, she is old and infirm now; she told me that every time she earned a week's wages she would rush out and buy Mary Quant clothes, she lived for the rush that came with new clothes. Then she had kids and lived in jumpers and trousers, her old self was cast off, but still alive in the cupboard.

Hello nice welcome :).

My Dad was a hoarder. A collector of 'it might come in handy'. He worked incredibly hard for little reward, so I think he was careful and could make things 'fit' if he needed something. He repaired things ~ made do and mended. I take after him a lot.

My Mum is a hoarder. A collector of gadgets. A woman of expensive hobbies that buys all the equipment and then gives up the hobby but keeps all the stuff associated with it. Some of them were: Sausage making attachment to her Kenwood Chef. Cake decorating equipment (loads of it). Knitting machines. Sewing machines. A Wii. Hand knitting, crochet, tatting. The most recent is card crafting...she got quite good at it, had hand surgery and despite it healing quite well, she has not gone back to it! I take after her to a much lesser extent.

I like clothes. I like the clothes I can't fit into any longer, but I can't get rid as I have a daughter who may wear them when she's older. The clothes are beautiful and they remind me of my youthful and beautiful years before I even realised I was beautiful. I love shoes and have added at least 5 pairs of stiletto's in the last 12 months to my collection and I can't wear them as, a) I don't actually go anywhere, b) they don't seem to stay on my feet when I walk these days. I wear boots a lot nowadays and have just ordered some Uggs ~ the ones to the right in the mumsnet swears by ->
They arrive tomorrow. I have bought 2 pairs in different colours. If comfortable, I may keep both pairs, otherwise I will return one or both pairs.
I have scarves. Lots of scarves that I don't wear as I tend to wear just a few select ones. But they might wear out and I might need the others! I'm a mess! I also put things on surfaces ~ any surface and they stay there; that's a family trait too!!

Arghhhhhh!

I am going to lick this! I am! I can't live like this anymore. If I can't get rid of everything then they are going to be tidy.

I have got rid of all my scarves except one I wear.
I have one pair of black shoes for everyday wear and one for parties (shiny black ones) I have two pairs of sheepskin boots (one pair nearly worn out but does for dustbin dash in morning) and one pair of walking shoes. And one pair of trainers, which is probably going soon, when I get a new pair that are more aerodynamic and supportive for running.

That's it. It's enough. Fwiw, shoes are something that are entirely functional for me and have no emotional associations. But my hall is still covered in shoes, because I have three kids and dh has shoes too...So really any more shoes and I would be done for...drowning. Oh yes and I have 3 pairs of summer shoes I keep in the loft, which I feel vaguely I should declutter but they will be worn in the summer. I keep nothing for special "extra" occasions anymore.

I have two scarves. An orange one and a short stripey woollen one. And two plain woollen hats which boys wear too. Again with five people that is almost too many hats and scarves.

sorry contradicted myself there...the cat was sitting on the second scarf and I put it on because it is so bloody cold here!!!

My sheepskin boots (Celtic sheepskin not Ugg though) keep me happy whenever I wear them. They are the best purchase ever, although not good for long treks (tread not quite supportive enough) This morning I went out and I gave thanks for them, they are sublime in frosty conditions.

Solo give extra scarves to charity. They will be useful for someone. And there is the danger of Moth if you have too many scarves, as I have found to my peril. Large quantities of wool or silk attract Moth unless you spend ages dry cleaning, airing or freezing them. I ended up throwing away scarves (binning them) that someone might have used if I had given them to charity earlier.

Solo, I have decluttered (like your mum I love expensive hobbies) meat mincer, pasta machine, sugar thermometer, jam making equipment/funnel, preserving pan, candle making equipment, felts, wools, lino cutting equipment. I do not miss any of it. I remember it, but I accept that my house is a better place to actually LIVE without it. And I would love to make my own sausages and jam, I just know that atm it is at the bottom of the list, and I can buy back these things very very cheaply on ebay if in 5 years I am "ready" to do these crafts/hobbies.

Thanks so much for your replies!

Nettles that is spot on. The old clothes I have are in immaculate condition, if they have a hole or wear out I can chuck them no problem but I just can't with stuff that's hardly worn. I still like them, so might want to start wearing them again. In fact, in true toddler fashion, if I parted with something today, I will want it back badly very soon! That will be why the sheepskin jacket is still with me as it is in perfect condition.

But I can't stop buying either. I have bought 3 pairs of boots since Xmas, one coat, 5 jumpers, 3 pairs of jeans, 3 blouses, 2 pairs of legwarmers, one pair of leather gloves. Oh my that looks bad once written down!

Like you solo I never bloody go anywhere to wear these things! are you talking about the black ugg boots with the buckles at 60 something quid? I am sorely tempted.

You sound just like me, I can't seem to kick this.

Oh and the charity came this morning. I put 2 items in the bag and left it at the gate when I went to work this morning. It bothered me a lot, so much so that I was relieved to find it hadn't yet been collected at 11am so was able to change my mind and bring it back in. It was a close run thing though as he came down the street when I was out with the dog ten minutes later. I'm cross with myself but so relieved at the same time. The 2 items are back in the wardrobe.

if you added up all the money you spend on clothes, is there something else that would give you enormous pleasure but at the moment you cannot afford? Free time = babysitter/money for babysitter? Money for holiday? Money for redecorating house? Money for saving? Money for emergency? Money for car?

or even not money but space gained for other things? Having people over, less tidying needed because more space to put things away? Is there any positive you can associate with not buying clothes? Time you spend worrying about cleaning and dry cleaning items, deciding what to wear? Time spent doing something else, reading, visiting, talking to people instead of purchasing clothes?

Sorry that all sounds v bossy but if you are worried about the clothes, could this be worth thinking over?

do you associate the clothes with money you have worked v hard for, and therefore are reluctant to part with them because they are your labour? Something that reminds you of hard work and effort, and reward for that effort?

I think my tastes change a lot. For instance, I have recently spent time looking at what style of clothes suit my body shape hence the flurry of clothes buying. I am going through a fitted phase but may return to baggy so I can't throw away . I can always justify to myself!

I have tons of expensive out of fashion stuff, just waiting for it to come back in. The bottom of the wardrobes are stacked up to the hanging clothes, and further, so they can't hang straight.

I don't think that thinking about the money side of things will do it. What I want to do is have a huge clear out, be really happy to do it, and let my daughter have the wardrobes in HER bedroom.

Can you get a friend round to talk you through it? I would sell all the expensive out of fashion stuff really I would. It isn't going to come back in - if it does it will be subtly different and you won't want to wear it when you are 10 years older, a changed person etc etc.

Read back everything you have said and see how it sounds. Your daughter needs a cupboard. You have plenty of lovely NEW clothes. make room for them. Enjoy them. Stop thinking about the old ones. or at least be selective about them. I feel cross that we are agonising so much about these things. We need to move forward!!!! Our children are growing up.life is passing. Life is for living not agonising over.

I've thrown away the worn out loose cover that I was going to use as a template. And the matching material that could have been used to patch it if I'd reused said worn cover...

Gone. Also decided to recycle three old gold velvet cushions covers, they are in the washing machine now so I can give them to charity shop later tomorrow.

Welcome Nicenewone :)

Knitting Well done on throwing away the cover and booking your holiday.

Solo, You will get there one say, we all will. The great thing about things staying put when you put them down, is as we find homes for these things, they will stay there too !

I am feeling half and half.

Half of me is pleased that I am practicality on top of my laundry and managed to resort out my kids clothes the last few weeks. Plus I have sorted a tiny small part of my pile upstairs.

Half of me is sad as I have a pile of stuff which I want to eBay on the landing and I have no idea how to do that. I need to woman up and get it sorted. Plus my pile is still there.

Arghh....baby steps. I WILL get there one day, repeat, repeat.

The garden is full of rubbish again, things to take to dump sort of rubbish (not real rubbish) A reminder of how behind I am in getting rid of this log jam of stuff grrrr. The car is also full of things that need to go to the charity shop and dump (I thought they were safer there than in the hall...safer to chuck i mean)

dd asked for the spare duvet cover, the one with falling apart seams, that is outside, going to the dump..she hadn't washed her duvet cover. We have three double duvet covers for two people, and three single duvet covers for two other people, surely enough? The laundry pile is so massive and there is backlog because we have too much stuff, I must stay strong and not bring the other duvet cover back in on some pretext that we actually need it. NO WE DON*@T*!!!

well done Babies I have never worked out how to ebay stuff (and do not even have a camera or if I did, would not know how to upload pics -although I suspect my kids could tell me in a flash sticks fingers in ears. Would a carboot do better in earning a little money (if you have a car, but I think you can walk in too) but less stressful to pack up etc? Ebayers I know of, all have an ebay "habit", they do it little and often rather than when they are trying to declutter, as it is too stressful to combine with decluttering.

have ironed the gold cushion covers. Already wondering whether to keep them. NOOOO! have decided to also chuck the pink checked ikea ones as punishment for even considering this...they look horrible in every room in the house and someone will love them in another house, if I give them to charity shop, they are all fresh and new.