The Hoarders Anonymous Thread Part Two...Still Sorting It Out ~ Together!

[Solo]

Sorting out the home when you're a hoarder (big or small) is never going to be easy and we should know! but having someone else to support you, talk about it with you and make you feel much less of a freak of mother nature makes a huge difference!

If you are any of the following:
A hoarder. In a mess. Untidy. Disorganised. Lazy with housework that has lead to something that you now feel unable to deal with. If you are ill and not coping with the housework. If you are emotionally attached to items for whatever reason. If you have a combination of any or all of these things or something completely different, please join us. No one here will judge you. We have something in common and we have a common goal. We share our ideas and we share our disappointments no matter how big and our celebrations no matter how small.

Welcome to thread number 2! :)

Back from a few days away -and house looks like a bombsite, it's always spawned in my absence

well done Solo for getting rid of paper clutter, that is always a big step in right direction, that is what takes the TIME even if it doesn't take up that much space.
Where to put cans has always been a big issue in this house; suffice it to say I'm trying to reduce the quantity down to what we need in emergency rather than overstocking and having multiple of same can, as we have supermarket/cheap corner shop nearby to walk to, which we buy them from anyway... I always feel cans should be near floor as they are so heavy and mice cannot get them.. I have too many pans, but then there are never enough, when I've burnt some or put half filled in fridge so I'm not decluttering those this year..

Babies feel your pain about the pile. Sometimes a pile feels like a necessity somewhere in the house. I don't think I will avoid a pile for many months yet, even if it is just a rotating laundry pile. But at least other stuff is less overwhelming. baby steps again. Don't feel bad or frustrated. Even recognising it is a PILE helps organise ones thoughts fruitfully, longterm.

Sleepy well done on Playmobil, dressing table and house renovations. NY can always feel like a false goal, it seems a very difficult time of year to get things done by Dec 31st..I like to look forwards to a slow revival in late Jan I home edded last year and there is so much stuff associated with it isn't there, everything can come in useful with home ed. Just plucking up courage to recycle some of ds2's history books - no I don't have courage, he really may need to read some of them for gsce now. And keeping records was a fulltime clutter magnet, so many bits of evidence of what we did home ed wise.

My goal is to try and make sure the Christmas stuff goes back into proper sealed boxes in a week's time to go into the loft, with no flotsam and jetsam, and no old Christmas Cards!!!! in other words, NO HOARDING. So tempting to put those spare christmas cards in yet again, and then again this year I will wonder who I sent what design to....I noticed the friends this year who sent me same design twice

This board is a real sounding board for me. I am frequently getting "stuck" at the moment. Today I saw the same stripey man's jumper for the 10th time, which I have never liked but dh unfortunately purchased and believes to be a lovely item...(for me to wear not him so it isn't even his jumper) and I cannot throw it away...I keep moving it around the house, putting in different bags, hatching plans to chuck it, cut it up, lie low, and then throw it away when he's forgotten it.

Oh it is pathetic isn't it, how much these things have us in their power!!!

The good news is that dd allowed me to throw away a knapsack. And the cupboard under the stairs has been well and truly sorted. I threw out some tiles too. [crosses self] at least they are now broken and I cannot retrieve them from the dustbin liner. More at back of cupboard beyond the gas meter.

Today's sort was triggered by heating engineer coming to mend boiler, so I had to pull out everything from in front of the gas tap. A mountain of stuff - ds2's eyes popped out of his head when he saw it? How did all that stuff fit in there Mum??? Mostly plastic bags and cardboard and knapsack and forgotten coats.

Knitting :) I am stuck too. I have such guilt. Guilt that I allowed myself to get into such a mess. Guilt that I can't seem to get very far into a clear up. Guilt that I can't just open my door to anyone and invite them in. Guilt that neither of my children have ever had any friends over...Guilt guilt guilt!

(((Solo))) Be kind to yourself. You do your best and you are dealing with the issues in your home. You will get there one day. Keep on plugging away. :)

Knitting Getting stuck is hard. I understand my pile is 'my stuck'. Could you talk to your husband about the jumper ? Tell him how you feel, that you want to charity it but don't want to upset him. See what he says ?

My update
I have took the Christmas tree down and thrown out 99% of the decorations (bad condition and scratches ones) I have just kept a few pretty ones and the ones the kids made.

I aim to tat (shuttle lace) a few this year. I loved tatting but gave up as I had no use for small bits of lace. But reckon it will make nice snowflakes and if well starched should look nice on a tree. Well, that is the plan.

Today I am dealing with the laundry pile, cleaning the bathroom with my new Zofloral 'Winter morning' and awaiting my new rubber tubs !

I am so hopeful this year will be the start of the end for the pile.

Solo you don't need to feel ashamed. After all it is your house, to do what you please with, YOU owe IT nothing. However, you owe yourself something, which is to be proud of yourself for all sorts of things, job, caring for the kids, coping with bereavement. The house and its contents are inanimate objects and you do not need to feel guilty about them. However, you can show them respect and acknowledgement, and then let some of them go.

Feeling guilty is like a blockage. It stops one doing anything. The things are like a representation of the thoughts that are blocking you, the guilty thoughts. Each thing that goes out of your house, is like a guilt thought which you have freed yourself from.

I have chucked the jumper! I have also chucked some wooden shelves that were waiting around for me to put back in a cupboard and never will go back, as dd has a hanging rail. I have thrown away some Christmas cards and some horrid decorations I knitted myself. I admire the effort but I have had enough of them!

Still so much more to do though. Couldn't find MOT cert today, (although I've found the info online) despite two enormous boxes of car stuff. Typical.

Thank you .

Today before work I went through a load (more!) of paper stuff looking for Ds's birth cert and NI number letter which he has misplaced and needs. Didn't find them but I did get shot of loads of paper stuff which is good. I also did a load more washing and put to dry. Will be aiming to do more of the same in the morning.

Well done with throwing the jumper knitting :)

Babies! I have never found a tatter! Mum and I taught ourselves back in the 70's. I wish I could remember how and had the time to do it again! Good for you getting rid of old and damaged decs too!

I want to get sorted and move house.

Went to tip today with lots of stuff from the house. Actually nicked some [else's spotless white] table napkins from the textiles recycling! What is wrong with me? I also managed to bring home 3 children's books from the seventies, from someone who was throwing out a multitude of lovely looking books from a house clearance, also at the tip. I really admired their determination. They just plonked boxes and boxes of stuff in the recycling and stopped fussing over it. And I'm sure it had loads of memories for them. But they let it go, whereas numpty me felt guilty about a children's book that didn't even belong to me, and "rescued" it..

And yesterday I bought a cookery book and a gardening book from the Oxfam shop. There is no hope for me...

However, front garden is looking better, cleaner and brighter and fresher due to not having rubbish piled up in it. I also threw out a perfectly good bucket and innards of bin, which usually I would have kept for rainy day, so I am trying. And loads of clothes actually left the premises, clothes I am fond of but don't suit or fit.

Knitting I think we must be related! I also feel guilt when I see what people throw away. Especially books! I can't get rid of books except for very young kids books (that have no real connection to me or my Dc's). I have kept the very first few books I bought for Ds before he was even born, so they are over 18 years old...Dd then used them and I want to keep them. This Christmas I only bought Dd 2 books where the previous one I bought many! But she is not the novel a day reader that Ds was, so it is pointless and a waste of money. And I restrained myself and did not buy loads of cookery books that I usually buy and never use so I think I am getting a bit better in that respect.

I continued to look for Ds's documents and I ripped his old room apart but could not find them; he came over this morning and found them in his room within 3 minutes! I was flabbergasted. I went through that room 4 times! But at least he found them and I got rid of so much paper waste too during the search!

I've managed to get rid of loads of books (especially cookery books and novels) over last few years, but I still have that "itch" to acquire more; I think that is when you realise you get an enormous amount of satisfaction out of buying stuff/acquiring stuff and less satsifaction actually having it (in fact it is a pain to have it when you trip over it or dust it or cannot fit it in the room) It is like wanting to eat doughnuts...

This morning I went on a very short run, inspired by my new running group programme. We were meant to do 5k walk/run every Sat (the Parkrun - not sure if there is one near you), but i just compromised on very slow Ikm run. I see it like a form of decluttering ,no point trying to crash and burn, just try and do the little that one is capable of. Usually I just sit and wait for ds to finish his 5km and drink coffee (all over in 30 mins as he is so fast) but this time I just allowed myself a tiny bit of "me" challenge. And it was fine. It didn't kill me. I think it is same with decluttering. Nothing you let go will kill you - yes it is a challenge, and you can invent a 1000 reasons why something needs to stay, but just to do the unthinkable gives one strength sometimes.

Well done on the paper stuff. And bravo for your ds, my husband is like that, his office/room looks a mess but he can find anything in it instantly, whereas me, churning, and moving things around to sort them out, achieves little and makes me just feel more and more muddled.

Sounds like you are both doing well. :)

I haven't done much...loads of planning of what I will do when the kids go back to school and I painted part of my downstairs hall ! Going to do it in stages and hope I finish it at some point.

We finally got rid of the Christmas tree today, which was a miracle cos usually dh chops it up for firewood,just in case it comes in useful -if the world ends and we have no fuel- but to my amazement a recycling lorry appeared and people started walking towards lorry dragging Xmas trees (this was Sat afternoon in semi darkness) and I said....quick quick its our chance, so we pulled through the house, the wrong way it turned out, as it shed needles absolutley everywhere, and handed it to the recycling men.YAY! Minor triumphs of decluttering. Usually it is still waiting to be chopped up in late Feb [grrr] Have swept up needles, therapeutic stuff as was forced to pick up various things off floor in the process.

Threw out some worn out running shoes. And ds2 now fits in some rugby boots I've been keeping for a very very long time (ds1's feet were enormous earlier, and he is two years ahead age wise but four years size wize), so I'll be able to sort through the old shoe cupboard and dispose of some more wrinklies.

What colour is your hall Babies mine is a taupe colour called Roman Stone by Dulux and then greenish wallpaper, luckily neither show the dirt much. But I do yearn for a white hall with nothing in it but a vase of flowers and a few artful envelopes on a polished sideboard, instead of these piles of coats and shoes.

I usually know exactly where something is buried in the mess and clutter, but Ds had put the envelope down and I really don't know how I missed it! Very annoying.

The thing about my hundreds of books is the dust the accumulates on top of them and the dusting it forces. They are mostly in storage at the moment ~ you know the storage I took out for 8 weeks nearly 2 years ago . Stupid stupid waste of money. I've got to sort this haven't I?

I spent most of today with a friend who is going through the crap with her h; her Dd has taken her father's side despite the fact that she knows just how badly he has behaved. Her h is trying to twist the Ds into not testifying even though it was him that called 999 when he saw his mum being attacked. She is the 2nd friend in a big bust up that I am supporting, but I can't actually do much for them...
So I have done nothing today.

I mean I have done no decluttering today.

Eeep fell off thread again

I haven't managed much decluttering since Christmas although I completely cleared my hotmail inbox today. Literally NOTHING in it. Need to do the same with my gmail!

Will be back to catch up later.

Sorted out the shoe cupboard of doom. Five people with 4 types of footwear each, nightmare! And then the in between sizes for the younger ones to grow into.

And the result is...fanfare...ds2 ended up going to football in some size 11 (he is size 10 at the most I reckon) emergency studs from the back of the cupboard, and didn;t fit into the size 9.5 due to a blister, he was last known to be size 9 in a normal shoe..so really all my hoarding was in vain. I should have thrown them all away a long time ago!!!! and gone to a shoe shop not the hoarder's bazaar.

Still churning here. Don't seem to have improved the sheet problem (we have too many and there are never any clean ones) Spent today washing enormous numbers which got lost in the laundry pile. I need to reduce it down to 2 single duvet sets (that sounds very grand but just bog standard sheet and cover, certainly no idea where matching pillowcases are) and four double duvet covers, 3 double sheets, between us and dd. And two bath towels per person, so 10, plus 2 random towels for disasters, and two swimming towels and one bathrobe? Does that sound too many?

Solo, that is so kind of you to support your friend.

Re: the books, I have a similar batch in a loft area. I almost would rather not know what they are now. And just send them off somewhere to happy hunting grounds, because after all, I have managed perfectly well without them for the last 8 years haven't I???? However, I know that we are both going to have to face up to sorting them out. Could you decide to do a 1 in 5 selection? Look at them all, and if you really cannot decide, blindfold and just pick out 30 books to put in a charity bag for someone else to enjoy? Just that little amount will make you feel lighter.

Can you imagine having the books in your new house? Is that why you are keeping them? Sometimes we have a plan for things, so I can see why you might be keeping them safely, whereas other things you might not want to bring to new house, or might make moving impossible because lack of time to fix, sort, update.

So I'm new to the website and stumbled on this thread. I am a huge hoarder (issues from childhood) however I am really trying to clear things out. The hope is that me and the DP will move in together soon but I have a tonne of work to do before that.

I have always had a bit of a magpie/ collectors habit and I've amassed a huge array of... well everything.

Hoping I can pick up some tips and enthusiasm here :)

Hi, Whisky. My husband is a collector and uses his collection to earn his living very successfully, so I know how fulfilling making collections can be. He is good at selling stuff though (has to be)

I've always blamed the excessive stuff/ hoarding on him, without noticing the beam in my own eye, which is why I'm now on this thread.

Today I read some books on vintage fashion which dd is not exactly interested in, but she is doing a Textiles GSCE so I bought them for her s/h a year ago. I was reading through and thinking, hmm, that would be a fun thing to collect, a particular designer, and then I could wear them when I get thin...etc etc. and then I just thought!!!!HELP I am doing it again, putting cart before horse. House not sorted, full of stuff I don't want and I am trying to fill it up with more stuff (which even if I do want) is not exactly going to be make me happy long term if I don't tackle my lifestyle etc BEFORE that and make house function as a normal house where I get time to do things instead of just tidying and cleaning ineffectively and not FINDING anything or being able to invite people over or use my desk.

Rant over. still it was nice to imagine myself collecting vintage fashion off ebay

Top tip is not to fixate on who might want your items which you are trying to declutter and to find a "useful" home for them. This is a distraction and a way of emotionally clinging on the item when you really need to distract yourself from it (and anyway there isn't time to do this with everything..it will slow you down massively and make you feel it isn't working - essentially you are just passing the buck to someone else to feel guilty about your stuff)

I found putting things out on the pavement was quite a nice way to see if anything went quickly - ie teapots, jugs, pictures, books, diy items, odd packets of screws, handles. People love to pick up things on their way home. If no-one takes them, no harm done. You can give them to the charity shop, but at least there is less to take!! I've got rid of most metal items just by leaving them out, as scrap metal merchants often cruise around looking for odd pipework, ,old radiators, old taps.

I also had a big problem with textiles because I was really into sewing, and accummulated hoards of material, and could hardly throw away old clothes in case the buttons or zips or trims came in useful. In the end, there was so much clutter and lack of space that I never even had time to do the bloody sewing, as I spent all that time I could have been sewing shifting boxes around and trying to find room for new items. So beware of thinking stuff might come in useful, unless you can be incredibly selective, allow yourself two pieces of nice material for projects; if you are not already doing a project, banish materials for anything that you think you might do, but in all honesty you won't do for years to come. You can buy the materials again, when space and time makes it possible. You are not throwing away your SKILLS, or your acumen or your taste.

Welcome Whisky :)

I can't do it knitting I just can't get rid of books. Or fabric. Or yarns. Maybe I will one day, but I definitely can't yet; I don't know if I ever will. I want to get my home straight and sorted and I want to make and sell. You though are doing so well. I have got rid of clothing before now and it still plays on my mind.

I just emptied the car so it could be MOT'ed. A more depressing hoarder's car contents you would never see. Bottles of water, in case the engine needed extra water, in an emergency...spare hoodies covered in mud from the inevitable bits of garden waste that got taken to the dump on top, swimming clothes (yet I never take kids swimming as I'm too tired with all th is tidying/churning etc), tennis raquetts ditto, spare books in case i needed to read and was stuck somewhere, a teapot I was meaning to take to charity shop or then I was going to give it to my sister, a glass jug, my HOUSE KEYS which have been lost for ages, litter, old mouldy bananas.. AAARGH.

Now I am forced to sort it out, as it is all piled up in the porch. What make me happy is that the car is now empty and I've found the spare housekeys Will have to think about the swimming stuff. Need to condense it down into small portable bag. The thing is, there was so much actual rubbish in there, muddled up with the hoard.

But now I am doing what I told you not to do ^Solo* feeling ashamed of my car and its contents. So I'll rephrase that...I have had a wonderfullly liberating morning dealing with the car which was a long running source of shame ,and now it is NOT (if I can finish what I started)