March of the Fledglings 2015

[Slingclutter]

Heartfelt thanks to Whoknows for running the February thread during such a stressful time for her (and to Toffee for helping out.)

If you are strugging with C.H.A.O.S. (can't have anyone over syndrome) and S.T.U.F.F. (something that undermines family fun) then this is the thread where we (loosely) follow the step-by-step Flylady housekeeping system (in our own, unique, relaxed style) with lots of chat, support and and along the way.

Flylady link link here.

This little-and-often system is designed so that you can follow a series of steps and routines each day (which gradually become second nature) in zones of the house which are designated weekly; defining and minimising housework, which in theory should leave you with loads more time to do something more interesting instead!

At the same time it is intended to reduce that panicky "rabbit in headlights" feeling when you are overwhelmed and everything needs doing all at once. No problem if you miss a day or two; just jump right back in and it will all come around next month again!

It's up to you, but we advise not signing up to receive the Flylady e-mails as you will be inundated! All the information you need will be linked here on a daily basis.

From the first of the month, we will be following Flylady's steps and routines using a three-pronged approach (dependent on the stage everyone is at):

1. start or repeat baby steps

1. repeat baby steps + do 15 mins a day decluttering in the current zone

1. reinforce babysteps and do daily missions if you have finished decluttering.

[And if you are really enthusiastic and have finished decluttering - you can go on to detailed deep cleaning in each zone.]

More info here on getting started and on Flying lessons. Here's the launch pad for more experienced fledglings.

Don't be put off by the purple prose and barf-tastic language of the site - the underlying system is sound!

Three key points to keep in mind:
(1)No perfectionism allowed (this is harder than you might imagine!)
(2)You are never behind; just start where you are and anything you do is progress.
(3) It didn't get into a mess overnight - it won't get tidy over night - accept it will take time to get on top of things and you will be happier.

If you are new; then trying to spend 15 mins decluttering daily and doing the babysteps is a good way to start. Some of us (mentioning no names!) can have scary looking lists but don't let that worry you! Do what you can, anything is better then nothing, and don't judge yourself against others.

If all else fails, a brew + the power of three technique + a bit of support on here can work wonders!

Oh and don’t let it put you off if we appear a bit cliquey – some of us have been on here for years – but all lurkers, intermittent returnees, regulars, oldies and newcomers very, very welcome!

Took the remaining bits to the tip today, paid a bill and rang a local charity about donating our old dining table and chairs. They can't come for a couple of weeks though, and I don't really want it hanging around that long so we'll try to get it to them ourselves or try somewhere else like the BHF.

DD really enjoyed world book day (as Snow White), the usual scattering of Harry Potter characters and a few Gangster Grannys who looked great!

Bless don't often have a list these days. Don't feel like i have actually achieved anything today. But feel drained

Just popping head in to say goodnight as feel too tired to check in properly. Have read lots of posts but will wait until tomorrow to take time to read properly and do personals.

Have been doing DIY yesterday and today and I am beyond tired, so will go to bed any moment now but plan to check in properly tomorrow morning before launching back into DIY.

Did a little bit of flying yesterday, none today but I think Zone 1 in my house isn't too bad really, not groaning with clutter like some zones so I'm not too worried. Mostly probably because I don't have a porch or hallway/entrance area, just a kitchen/dining area with a shoe rack so not really any place to clutter up in dining room apart from dining table and top of shoe rack, which are hot spots I will admit.

Anyway, will fill you in on my DIY exploits tomorrow, goodnight!

Well done on the DIY achievements, dog.

Bless - sorry about the sinusitis. Sounds wretched.

Bitchy - sorry you're so tired. I'm sure I saw one of your long lists only a few days ago.

Mini - oh no, not the washing machine!

Swan and SC - thank you. Not sure he does really want to go, but he seemed to realise that it was expected and it wasn't worth trying to wriggle out of it. From next week, we are going twice weekly instead of once and then will gradually extend each visit. Am finding it a painfully slow process, but if it works, it's worth it.

We don't seem to have managed much home ed this week, thanks to my DM's visit and various other commitments and appointments. DS2 and I did play Scrabble today, which ticks my mental list for literacy and maths (adding up the score) .

Off to try and settle the boys now. They are sharing a room whilst my mum is staying, which means late nights for both of them. Am happy that so far the most rebellious thing they seem to have done together is listen to comedy programmes on Radio 4 Extra though .

Night all.

I suck at pacing so get to have one or two good days per months and then exist in a death like state for the rest of it. PLus there has been a small issue of needs must a couple of times last month. I can guarentee I am going to be suffering a hell of a lot tomo and for at least the weekend. I need to learn to pace but, yeah I suck at that and when the mess annoys me and I have a bit of energy I really just want to sort it all out yesterday. Would probably get more done in the long run if I paced better though. CFS and fibro suck.

Good morning all!

Hope everyone ok!

Had horrible night's sleep (ie 3 hrs) but at least I am up and about and walking straight again although felt like death on school run.

Cleaners have just left and although house isn't too bad on ground floor and second floor, I tried to clean paths ahead of them on 1st floor which is a disaster zone but all a bit too little too late!

Speaking of which, bit disappointed with dd - who had to prepare a power point presentation for today (which was set before half term hols). I nagged reminded her about it then, on Wed pm and three times in between ... but has she finished it? No! She hasn't even started it (despite swearing blind that she had!!). And this morning of course it came as a "surprise" that it was due in today ... sigh.... . Even worse, she asked me to write a letter excusing her from the work which I refused to do. This led to a bit of a stressful morning (to put it mildly).

Those of you who have eleven yr olds (or thereabouts) do you actually physically check every piece of completed hwk and check it off hwk Agenda? We were told by school (on the grounds of inculcating autonomy etc etc) to choose one random piece of work out of say the four or five tasks set and check it thoroughly (which is what I have been doing) but it is obviously not enough!!

I did write a note saying she had had a difficult week what with funeral and illness etc etc (which they know anyway) but that she had had plenty of time to do the project before that horrible mother emoticon . Felt awful as if I was betraying her but sadly it is the truth!! She was not a happy bunny at the school gates this morning [throwing your child to the lions emoticon] but sadly as Robert Louis Stevenson once said "Sooner or later everyone sits down to a banquet of consequences"

Which is a very apt because I now have my own faults to confront with regard to weight. I am re- re- re-starting my diet and fitness regime today. Weighed myself and I am humungous 80.8 kilos which is approx 13 stone . Have two horrible spare tyres around my waist. I could cry Totally self-inflicted however so no excuses.

Sorry, as usual , that was all very 'me' 'me' and barely about Flying!! I should mention that the dw and wm are on, the rabbits have been fed and the dining room table hotspots have been cleared!

Off to catch up with thread/personals properly!

Forgot to say! Anyone up for re-starting body clutter weigh-ins on Sundays?

Bitchy I suck at pacing too. After five or so years following Flylady, I still haven't mastered it Marginally better with discipline of baby-steps + routines though. Hope you can rest up today.

Minisok and Swan hope you manage to get your wms repaired soon. It's miserable without one, and a bit overwhelming when Mt Washmore starts to take over.

Bless your boys "rebelling" with Radio 4 Toffee!!! Good luck with the twice weekly visits. It's pure flylady isnt it? Small steps, small steps ... .

Far more important to do the Flying and DIY than post personals on here Dogsbum [SC looks shifty] so never any need to apologise. Hope you can catch up on sleep this weekend.

Well done re: continued decluttering and getting rid Fizrim

Minisok that is the beauty of posting tasks achieved here - once written down - it is always much more than you thought!

Bless not surprised everything feels a bit chaotic/overwhelming when you are worrying about your dd's schooling and doing your best to support her etc. School worries are incredibly stressful and sometimes rl issues just have to be put ahead of Flying simply because they take over. Don't worry! The beauty of the system is that you can jump right back in at a later date when things are more settled! So don't be too hard on yourself and just do the minimum to keep ticking over. I know from experience that sinusitis is horrible so hope you recover soon.

Swan if you look at this link specifically at 'Cuban Breakfast Nook' would the style of material in the cushions be suitable ie "contemporary mosaic" but in red not orange? It has the advantage of being quite a 'functional' pattern for a kitchen (as opposed to floral) I dunno! Loads of ideas in Houzz though! If you need to damp down sound then you can always add in heavier linings or wadded inter-linings (something I am always intending to do in our freezing tv/play room).

Big wing flaps to everyone else!

To do:
Make all the beds (this is usually a family activity on Sat but following flu am doing it early)
Tidy hideousness that is boudoir!
Think of something (healthy and lean) to eat tonight!
Totter to shops and back to fill empty fridge
School run
Hwk supervision (yes, on a Friday night!!) [determined emoticon]
Watch Crufts

Think that will be enough for today ... .

Have a good last day of the week everybody!! TGIF!!

Love that RL Stevenson quote, SC. I have just repeated it to DS2, but he's baffled. I think you need to be a certain age to understand it. Sorry about your frustrations with DD and her work. I hope she will learn from it. And yes, DS1's gradual intro to school is pure Flylady - I hadn't thought of it like that.

I hope you manage to grab a nap later. Sounds like you need it.

Thanks Toffee

Another interesting quote that I heard on the telly last night (wierdly, Nile Rodgers was on This Week with Andrew Neil) and when asked how he had become such a technically fantastic jazz musician (before going in to disco) he said "my tutor used to say to me, as far as you are concerned, the only thing you need to know is ... discipline is the ability to delay gratification ... full stop" If you think about it, that just about covers everything!! And yes, dd just hasn't "got it" yet and nor if I'm honest has her mother.

Speaking of delayed gratification, have just snaffled low calorie frozen (Picard) lunch (salmon cubes with veg) and (despite black coffee) am feeling the "call of the duvet" rather strongly. May succumb later!

We are not required to sign anything off, it is assume that they do the homework, or not because it is a crap mix message optional system I will not be checking ds' homework if it is required at highschool. Planner yes homework no. As as far as I am concerned it is ds' homework and if he has to sit an entire term of detentions because he doesn't do it, it is a very good lesson in consequences I can't make all his decisions for him as he gets older. The consequences of not doing homework are less severe than not paying your tax but it is the same principle. I am evil, I will probably fall out with school on this issue. But life is mean and he will have to learn to live with it. Being a child is when it is ok to make mistakes and learn the hard way. Ds needs to opportunity to do so should he need to. I needed to and I am very glad my mother took this approach with us Some kids can be told, some need to learn by experience. I do however, understand that the pressures of the different education system means that it is not always possible to take this approach. But don't feel like you have let her down with it, you are just teaching her the life skill of consequences of action.

I have been at work this morning. In the process of implementing new systems and proceedures. My brain is mush. Just grabbing some lunch, throwing ds' stuff for the weekend together before having a lovely drive over the hills in the sunshine. I do like the journey when it is sunny. even if losing the time it takes is a pita

SC i am doing bootcamp ish but don't tell biwi but will happily support you in body declutter if you need moral support. Last time I stood on the scales I was not far off 80kg but that was a little while back and no idea where I am atm.

Thanks for all the support Bitchy mucho appreciated Enjoy your drive over the hills!!

[Impressed] Wow re hard core parenting - think you are right - I am actually just coming to the conclusion that dd is one of those dc who have to learn by experience too. She isn't a regular offender but does have very bad lapses every so often, mostly out of boredom rather than anything else I think. Certainly discussing, demonstrating, nagging, more discussing, and finally shouting haven't really helped so far! Have tried to let her face consequences etc but somehow always end up getting entangled. Will try and be a bit more strict about it.

Good luck with yr bootcamp (also sounds v hard core!)

Will introduce body-clutter weigh-in every Sunday then if everyone wants to join! No pressure either way!

Ruddy perfect end to the ruddy perfect day here. DD went back to school this morning, having missed first four days of wk owing to travel and then flu - only to receive phone call just after noon asking us to come and fetch her because they've had a full school inspection and she and many othrs have head lice. Really miffed about this as have kept up weekly preventative combing since last outbreak and have obviously (what with funeral and travel etc) missed something . So embarrassed to be one of those re-offending parents

Have now just spent Euros 44 on special shampoo [sigh] and have new mound of towels etc to wash and dd and I sitting here with oily stuff on our heads!! And oh what a lovely treat dh has in store when he gets home tonight. One positive thing ... at least I was changing the beds this afternoon anyway!!

As I say, will be °°$*)°"é glad to see the back of this week!

Hope eveyrone else ok! Back to sterilising brushes etc.

The cleaning lady was here today so kitchen is looking nice and so is the utility.

I've tidied up the living room
collected up some odd papers to throw away
and mercifully dh bought supper from Morrisons - so not in the mood to wrestle with food and food shopping atm despite heaps of vegetables all needing to be turned into things like soups and risottos

Ds2 has had exercise
We met a landscaper to discuss digging out the back garden and relevelling (one of my pet obsessions because it drives me crackers that for six months of the year our garden is unusuable mud)

I drove to Staples to buy printer cartridge for dd who now has an APP which prints wirelessly from her room...we are getting a stream of artistic selfies appearing downstairs I wonder how long before she starts to attend meals on a virtual basis???

SC please please don't beat yourself up about dd being so contrary. I really do not know many eleven year olds who plan ahead unless they are very very interested in a particular project. I would say 30 percent of them seem to be diligent and organised. The others leave everything to the lst moment from what my friends and acquaintances tell me. Could you just insist on seeing at least one bit of each project well in advance and set a deadline well in advance if this is proving so intractable an issue? Is there anyone who likes doing her homework with dd - a sort of homework club at home if you like, to make it more companionable? The thing is the school aren't really allowing her to be independent because they are asking YOU to make sure the homework is done. Surely she will pass the exam even if this homework isn't done to a very high standard? I feel so cross that they are creating so much tension for you. Especially at this time. I think she is just passing the buck between you and the school. Surely even if the homework is done badly it is better than it being such a source of friction.
Love those orange kitchen curtains on Houzz by the way, one kitchen actually looks a bit like mine [sob]

I'm fat too atm. I've only just rediscovered alcohol though so maybe this is not a good time to give it up (my only pet weightloss tip!) I suspect more walking is my secret weapon. Also weighing in at 80kg and 5ft 10.

Ah you have one and a half inches on me there Swan!!! And I am quite narrow of frame so fat has settled very lumpily!! Must stop jabbering on about this and actually DO something!!!

Thank you so much for taking the time to convey all of your extremely good advice about dd and hwk. Much, much appreciated! I hadn't thought about it in that way - that the school are being too directive - although of course it is blatantly obvious when you come to think about it. And very very reassuring to hear that most 11 yr olds don't plan ahead! (I'm sure you and others on here have told me this before now too!!) Good idea about setting 'false' deadlines! Think dd will like that one too! And the fact that she is doing it alone is significant I think. She goes to hwk club on a Thurs night but we might extend that to Tues as well.

How exciting about your garden plans btw! Hope they progress well! Of all the things one spends money on, personally I think a garden brings the most reward.

Bit cream crackered here tonight. Spent two and a half hours nit-combing and making beds and making supper. Just about to post links and crash!

Enjoy your Friday nights everyone!

*

The baby-step for Saturday 7th March is the extremely useful one about laying out tomorrow's clothes the night before. Newcomers: we are all agreed that this particular baby-step is a good 'un!

We are still in Zone 1: the entrance, porch and dining room here. (We will be starting in the kitchen on Sunday, March 8th!)

The detailed cleaning list (if you are at that stage) for Zone 1 is here.

No mission because it is the weekend!

The daily focus for Saturday is family fun day

The monthly habit for March is the controversial one about wearing lace up shoes indoors etc

For a summary of the above, see the flight plan : www.flylady.net/c/fp.php?tzm=-120 which should update itself daily.

Have a good weekend everyone!!

*

Hardcore parenting no, not at all. Just self preservation. I have no energy to fight that battle. There are more important battles. Like reasonable and healthy usage of technology, like getting his to school after minor normal for the age falling outs that resolve themselves without intervention etc. For me it is the understanding that he has to learn by mistake but choosing which mistakes won't cause irreversible damage to him/others/our relationship. At the end of the day no one dies if homework is not done, and it is just a life lesson. Him refusing to eat/sleep is damaging. I fight that battle. Iyswim.

And Swan is very right, it is also just a phase and normal. Seriously different parents different approaches, just be open minded if your original chosen approach isn't working and see if a different approach does. As we say around here "Survival of the fittest: adapt or die"

Ooo Swan save some particularly embarrassing selfies for blackmail purposes later enjoyment when she is older

I am reading your posts about reluctant-homeworking-children and I can see myself in there. I well remember my own mother saying "no-one else leaves it until Sunday night" and my grumbled response of "everyone does"! I expect I will be repeating her line with my own daughter in a few years ...

Thankfully DH managed to fit the old dining table and chairs into his car (estate with the seats down) and the charity were more than happy to take it. It was about the last piece of furniture from our newlywed days but hey, we are WELL past that now so time to let go.

Zero flying today, and my poor planning (by continually adding things in to it) made the day hectic. Have to watch that the Flylady wagon doesn't back over me again when I fall off it! Always next week!

Yes, thank you too Bitchy. I definitely do SWYM! Agree it is about choosing one's battles and I know I am being too negative - everything is a battle at the moment (and when I step back and review her actual overall behaviour, it certainly does not merit constant negativity, rather the reverse in fact). It can be a vicious cycle. And yes, again, thanks for new perspective on things - hadn't really thought that hwk comes second to getting to bed on time, but of course it should, and is about equal with not getting fixated on technology (in particular in this household, Star Stable game). Will ponder all this again and agree about need for flexible approaches. Really, really appreciate the advice!

G'night! Enjoy your child-free time!

Fizrim yy, that's the irony of all this in fact - I'm sure I was exactly the same too (although had much less homework and a much less pressured time at school - I think learning 10 spellings was about as demanding as it got!) Unfortunately live in a country where education system is very rigid and teaching methods as dry as dust.

Top marks for decluttering table and chairs!!!

Think one of the downsides of the Flylady system is that it actually keeps encouraging you to add a little hot-spot clearance here, or a Flyspot there, and another little 5 mins Fling Boogie ... when in actual fact I think there is plenty to do just with primary baby-steps and routines. So it is easy to become overwhelmed, demotivated, and fall off wagon if you are not aware of this. However, however, her key theory is that as one's house gets cleaner and tidier and has less stuff in it, it will take less time to do all the chores, and that's when you can start adding in all the twiddly bits (if that makes sense!).

So have a good weekend and give yourself a pat on the back for this wk's decluttering achievements!

You're right about Flylady saying to declutter first before doing the zone work missions Sling, but we all want to jump in straight away! Should really do the babysteps properly, one each day to set me straight. I have a massive PDF file that I downloaded recently, will put it on my tablet and aim for more reliable - if slower - progress. And keep decluttering (KonMarie style) to make it easier to keep neat.

Have a good Saturday everyone - I need to take DD to one activity this morning and then may visit a jumble sale this afternoon.

Well some one mixed up the bitchy dust and sparkly fairy dust in this house this morning. Woke up to a giant argument between the people and there is excess I am drowning you out tv going on. Sod's law it is my lie in morning. Any hoos, coffee breakfast and shutting a few doors might help to deal with my headache and I shall leave the people to sulk out of their system whatever the issue is.

[hands Bitchy ear plugs and good book]

Fizrim PDF file sounds very efficient!! And rest assured I may have the theory sorted, but definitely not the practice! I'm useless at consistency and don't think I have ever got to the point where a room is totally decluttered and it's ready to deep clean. And you're right, I think being told to do something a certain way, automatically makes you want to do it completely differently (well I do anyway!). But thankfully the system is very forgiving (that sounds like cult leader speak - sorry).

DD's at ballet atm but meanwhile I'm chewing my lip because I can't do one of the sums in her maths hwk (which we she will be doing this afternoon)

There are 28 books in total.

And three people: Lander, Tristan and Isolde.

Lander reads twice as many books as Tristan.

Isolde reads one fewer than Tristan.

How many bks do they each read?

Aaargh.

Absolutely nowt to do with Flying - sorry - but can't focus on my washing until I've solved it

HOpe everyone is having a good Saturday!

Is it definitely 28 books?

Tristan = A
Lander = 2A
Isolde = A-1

28=A+2A+(A-1)
29= A+2A+A= 4A
A= 7.25 So Trisatn = 7, Lander = 14 and Isolde =6 with a book being terribly lonely.

Nope I can't get it to come out either.

we need our thread maths genius don't we!

I have successfully hunted the grown out of fancy dress stuff out of the office. Sending it to my nephew this week as he is now big enough to drive his parents bonkers with it. At least it is not a set of drums

Thx Bitchy I am beginning to wonder whether there's a typo or not!

The only answer I can get has 0.3 of a book in it, which I'm not sure is right

[Surveys horizon for Honu ]

Oohhhh, bet your nephew will love you forever - nowt like a good dressing up box!

Thanks again