March of the Fledglings 2015

[Slingclutter]

Heartfelt thanks to Whoknows for running the February thread during such a stressful time for her (and to Toffee for helping out.)

If you are strugging with C.H.A.O.S. (can't have anyone over syndrome) and S.T.U.F.F. (something that undermines family fun) then this is the thread where we (loosely) follow the step-by-step Flylady housekeeping system (in our own, unique, relaxed style) with lots of chat, support and and along the way.

Flylady link link here.

This little-and-often system is designed so that you can follow a series of steps and routines each day (which gradually become second nature) in zones of the house which are designated weekly; defining and minimising housework, which in theory should leave you with loads more time to do something more interesting instead!

At the same time it is intended to reduce that panicky "rabbit in headlights" feeling when you are overwhelmed and everything needs doing all at once. No problem if you miss a day or two; just jump right back in and it will all come around next month again!

It's up to you, but we advise not signing up to receive the Flylady e-mails as you will be inundated! All the information you need will be linked here on a daily basis.

From the first of the month, we will be following Flylady's steps and routines using a three-pronged approach (dependent on the stage everyone is at):

1. start or repeat baby steps

1. repeat baby steps + do 15 mins a day decluttering in the current zone

1. reinforce babysteps and do daily missions if you have finished decluttering.

[And if you are really enthusiastic and have finished decluttering - you can go on to detailed deep cleaning in each zone.]

More info here on getting started and on Flying lessons. Here's the launch pad for more experienced fledglings.

Don't be put off by the purple prose and barf-tastic language of the site - the underlying system is sound!

Three key points to keep in mind:
(1)No perfectionism allowed (this is harder than you might imagine!)
(2)You are never behind; just start where you are and anything you do is progress.
(3) It didn't get into a mess overnight - it won't get tidy over night - accept it will take time to get on top of things and you will be happier.

If you are new; then trying to spend 15 mins decluttering daily and doing the babysteps is a good way to start. Some of us (mentioning no names!) can have scary looking lists but don't let that worry you! Do what you can, anything is better then nothing, and don't judge yourself against others.

If all else fails, a brew + the power of three technique + a bit of support on here can work wonders!

Oh and don’t let it put you off if we appear a bit cliquey – some of us have been on here for years – but all lurkers, intermittent returnees, regulars, oldies and newcomers very, very welcome!

ta da
ds to school without shouting
work - but nearly got sent home for looking like death
Banking

Feeling like death today. really really did do too much yesterday not helped but not sleeping well last night. Got one or two things that would be nice to do today but i think the only thing realistically will be sort out tea and do something with ds. I am totally zombied. I really really really don't know how to pace

Toffee arf at the graffiti although I know you don't deserve such comments I think doodling is a very teenage thing and all great cartoonists started off pretty rebellious surely? Anyway I think if you draw something you are entitled to destroy it or rip it up, much as it saddens parents to watch the process. One of my favourite poems is called Block City about a child smashing up his own creation.

done
finished Moby Dick [sob] a work of genius. I went back to the beginning and read Call Me Ishmael and felt deeply moved tried to point out how moving it all was to Ds2 but I'm afraid by this point he was a bit like those detractors of the film Titanic crying Sink Sink.
went to Home Ed football
took ds2 on with other boys to play football but in contrary fashion he ended up playing in the softplay with the younger children

felt v tired
then picked up dd halfway from her school

now I've lost ds1's dsi which I confiscated last week but I have no idea where I hid it This has happened before. We now have another missing one. The old one has resurfaced but he is in the middle of playing a game on the new one. So nil points there to me. However, tis his own fault for having it confiscated in the first place.

Dh is out tonight. Thank goodness we can have the remains of my bookclub supper in slipshod fashion.

The lost dsi sounds like something i would do swan i had forgotten that ds and I had agreed today was when he was getting his hair cut. So That is now done. And he has technology after he has had a wash. I am disappearing into bed and borrowing his tablet to play games on.

I have done exactly the same thing, Swan - confiscating, then losing, one of the DC's possessions. I once lost Ds1's DS for about six months and had actually forgotten all about it until one day he reminded me, rather mournfully. To be fair to us, he was obsessed with it and we were fed up with the arguments it caused.

Is 'Block City' the RL Stevenson poem? I have just looked it up. The difference is that it was DS1 who started doodling on Ds2's work, then DS2 joined in, rather than have a fight with his big brother. And then compounded the crime by lying to me about it and blaming it all on DS1 . All manner of moral issues there, which I'm far too weary to untangle.

Well done on getting through the whole of 'Moby Dick' with DS2. He will have got a lot out of that experience, although it may not be exactly what you had in mind. The other day, DS1 told me he had very happy memories of building a model haunted house with me when he was little. I was so touched and so happy that he remembered our special time together. Then he said, "It was the Smarties you gave me when we were making it that made me remember." So, not our special relationship, not the creative process - just the Smarties.

Bitchy - really sorry you feel so exhausted. I hope you get proper rest tonight.

Shannara - welcome back. Good to hear work is going so well. Don't worry, we all fall off the thread when RL gets too busy, then clamber back on at a later date.

Blue - housework checklist app sounds very promising. Has it helped?

WhoKnows - I understand your feeling of conflict, but don't give up on the SS. It really is the right school environment that is important for your son, not where his friends go. DS1 so wanted to go to school with his friends and look what a disaster that was.

Bless - hope the counselling went ok this afternoon.

Roller - glad you're sticking with the thread. Sorry your DD is ill though.

Ordered three lots of flowers for Mother's Day today: one for my mum, one for my MIL - and one for me . I also ordered myself a box of chocolates and a bottle of Prosecco. This is because last year my family completely forgot all about Mother's Day and I didn't get a thing. I found it particularly annoying as I'd ordered MIL's flowers on DH's behalf and had her round for tea that afternoon. So am taking matters into my own hands this year.

Managed some home ed with DS2. Luckily, he had a delivery from Little Passports, which provides a monthly pack about different countries, so he spent a lot of time on that.

DH took DS2 out for a hair cut. Lovely to be relieved of that duty, for once.

Passed out for about two or three hours this afternoon. One of the cats joined me, which was lovely - like having a furry hot-water bottle.

Managed to rouse myself enough to cook a roast dinner later. DS1 astonished me by asking if his best friend could come round tomorrow. They haven't seen each other since last May and only communicate online. It is a significant step for DS1 to invite him over here. I just hope he turns up, as he's not always very reliable. Actually, he has been pretty awful to DS in the past and wouldn't be the sort of friend most of us would want to keep after his behaviour, but DS is either very forgiving, doesn't feel he has much choice or is too socially naive to notice.

Hi everyone. Sorry for being absent from thread today and posting links now at wierd o'clock. (Have just been woken up by dh's snoring!)

Allergic reaction all fine now - thank you everyone! It was very strange though! Definitely going to look up pollution levels for yesterday evening - sure they must be published somewhere - I know they regularly exceed WHO guidelines.

Unexpectedly busy day yesterday. Choring in the morning (cleaner has the flu) plus various phone calls. Then had urgent problem with dd's secondary school application which involved 10 phone calls with current school and dh driving across town with various dossiers. Then did quick supermarket dash. Then had to curtail visit to Irish friend's house to watch Gold Cup and help her baby-sit her grandsons (my horse lost!) as had to get back home early to welcome dd and a few friends (who are doing a school project together) and they ended up staying longer than anticipated so I ended up preparing industrial quantities of home-made chicken nuggets and chips lots of which I ate unfortunately along with fizzy pop, but did at least get them to eat some carrot salad and cucumber, in the midst of which dh went to collect dsil from airport! So bit of a busy day, 75% of which all happened half-unexpectedly.

Just going to post links for tomorrow/today now!

Baby-step no. 14 for for Sat 14th is the patronising one about 'how to use a calendar'.

It's our last day in Zone 2: the kitchen. (We will be starting in the bathroom zone on Sunday).

If you want to, you can declutter 15 mins a day in this zone!

The detailed cleaning list (if you are at that stage) for Zone 2 is here.

No missions because it is the weekend!

The daily focus for Saturday is: family fun.

The monthly habit for March is the controversial one about getting dressed immediately and wearing lace up shoes indoors etc.

For a summary of the above, see the flight plan : www.flylady.net/c/fp.php?tzm=-120 which should update itself daily.

Have a good weekend everyone!
* ***

Very impressed by how busy everyone has been this week! Well done Fledglings!!

Waves to Rollermum hope your dd feels better soon!

Hope counselling proved helpful Bless.

Top marks for sorting that doc's appt Toffee (and shame about poster!). Brilliant that you ds1 wants to have a friend over!!! Arf at your furry hot water bottle oh and I like the fact that you have ordered yourself flowers!! Quite right too!!

Oh yes, and at your ds1 remembering an activity fondly because of the Smarties! It is funny how dcs memories work! I remember a teacher asking dd on a Monday morning how her w/e had gone; and dd replying that she had seen a dead pigeon in a puddle. This was after a weekend when we had gone to the zoo and seen tigers, giraffes etc and had attended a vintage car rally!

Very sorry to hear that things have stalled wrt statementing and you are having to undergo another stressful wait Whoknows. And hats off at your very pressured day!

Blue which housework checklist app are you using, if you don't mind me asking? (Finally trying to get to grips with my Iphone/Ipod.) Hats off to you for surviving an extremely busy Friday.

Hi to Shannara you sound very organised - and glad to hear work going well!

Sorry you feel so burnt-out Bitchy hope you can catch up with gaming rest gaming this w/e .

Swan I hope the ds turns up soon! Can really identify with that bereft feeling when you come to the end of a much loved bk.

Off to make cup of tea and get back to sleep. Busy weekend ahead ... .

G'night/good morning all!

Morning everyone, I've been lurking on the thread rather than posting much, been feeling quite 'flat'. I've finally caught up.

Thanks for all the links SC' - unfortunately I haven't used them as I've done bugger all flying for a few days.

Blue - I have the home routines app which follows fly lady really closely, it's quite good. What do you have?

Bitchy how are you feeling? I'm another who finds pacing really hard and often crash and burn or just vegetate. I can rarely find a balance.

Toffee, you sound so busy with your boys and home ending! Have you updated your blog recentley? I love seeing what you are up to! But I also feel a bit on your behalf that you didn't get a proper Mother's Day last year. Hope tomorrow is lovely for you.

Welcome back to Shannara and Rollermum

Hope your counselling went well Bless - DH and I are both in therapy separately and for different reasons. I've been doing it for nearly four years and whilst it is extremely hard at times, it is worth the investment (money, time etc)

Speaking of DH, he was at home all day yesterday, child and work free, and he did absolutely bugger all round the house. He watched three films and played on his iPad. All. Day. Long. Didn't even unpack his own suitcase, piled everything in the sink rather than unload the dishwasher, didn't even open the blinds or curtains ffs!!! And... He is out all day today on a jolly with his mate. Words will be had....

So, To do
Feed and dress DS
Unload dishwasher whilst cursing DH
Wash up grotty baking trays
Make beds
Washing +++++
Fold and put away dry laundry
Wrap eBay sales and take to post office
List more on eBay
Call plumber about lack of hot water from bath tap only
Hoover

Happy weekends fledglings

Grey - sorry you've been feeling flat. Hope things are improving now. You asked about my blog: it's here.

SC - goodness, what a day you had yesterday. Sounds exhausting!

It was my lie in this morning, but two deliveries (one at 8am) put paid to that. Need to shift my arse out of bed now as DS1's friends is supposed to be coming round at 11. I feel I should tidy up, which is silly as he won't notice the mess anyway.

friend not 'friends'.

at dead pigeon in a puddle, SC, although a shame for the pigeon, obviously!

Am using an app called chore checklist lite, which you can set up with jobs that need doing daily, weekly, fortnightly etc. Doesn't fit with zones like the home routines one, but the Fat Fairy was being stroppy about copyright on that so I decided to avoid it. I might set up a daily reminder to do the mission though.

Body clutter, I put a stone and a half back on of what I lost last time, but have lost 2 lbs this week. :) Given up on mfp cos I got fed up with logging everything, so using another app called my diet coach which kind of turns it into a game with challenges, rewards etc. DH is using it too, but it's a bit pink!

Must get up and at 'em but hopefully back later with a list.

Toffee big thank you for mentioning Little Passports - DD agreed it'd be fun to learn about different countries (she loves flags and maps too) but it's so much more fun to have something arrive in the post isn't it! And WELL DONE for booking those blood tests! A less tired toffee is just around the corner :)

less tired toffee - that made me smile .

Little Passports is fun. Hope DD enjoys it.

Sounds good Blue, is it android or iphone based? I want a few more apps for my tablet. I also need one for getting ds to do chores. One that he can tick off and is pretty sparkling rewarding kinda thing. Might have a hunt later.

Grey feeling better than yesterday but know that I need to take it fairly easy today to feel better. Unfortunately I have a list of chores that need doing so will be having to try to find a proper balance and will probably fail

Currently discussing rules for computer access. Ds still has to borrow mine atm. He woke me up to ask when we had agreed a slight lie in. He didn't see anything wrong with this, I was unimpressed. Rules are being put into place.

Right, have caught up with the thread again. Didn't bother with lists for the last couple of days so not much has been done! DH hung the wet (non-tumbledryable) laundry out for me - laundry is normally my domain but hanging out heavy wet stuff is something I struggle with (fecking illness, it's quite embarrassing really!). Apparently DS then wanted to put a wash on so there's a load of random stuff to sort through now rather than my organised groups but hey, he's only 5 so I'll forgive him :o

to do
Unpack tesco when it arrives
2 loads of laundry
Put dry clothes away
Tumble dryer on
Wash bra
Remind DCs to put tent and train track away

:o toffee I am a bit at the price of the passports, they look really good though! I wonder if there's discounts etc as I might sign up to it as a birthday present. Also going to see if young ornithologists (rspb club) still exists :)

Chore for computer time. It would be winning if ds wasn't being such a grumpy arse about it.

Toffee funnily enough all the internet versions of that poem don't have the verse about smashing the city up at the end
I see what you mean - it is the way they ganged up and then ds1 was trying to make ds2 do something bad on purpose. Again that is such a familiar sibling thing in this house Again I think it is a sort of developmental stage - ganging up with your siblings against your parents - it is a sort of necessary breaking away thing - hurtful as it feels

SC you sound very cheery - it sounds like a fun afternoon having all those dd school friends round. I must try harder to enjoy having guests The dossiers the dossiers - the horror and excitement of getting them all in for secondary applications. Hope the news is good for her placement.

Umm - don't think I wanted Moby Dick to go on any longer (it was abridged anyway luckily) just so impressed by the beginning coming full circle with the end.

Twins' birthday means that Mother's Day is never a big deal in this house as I am so tired by that point I cannot remember anything. I couldn't understand why ds2 kept going on about how Mother's Day was going to clash with his birthday this year and how no-one would notice it was HIS celebration. But all the publicity about Mother's Day had clearly filled him with horror that I was somehow going to take the limelight No, not very likely.

Ah well at least Mother's Day isn't always the same day! I remember getting very confused as a child because I remembered making my nandad (that's what I called my grandfather!) an Easter/birthday card. Then the next year I couldn't understand why his birthday wasn't Easter again!

all the publicity about Mother's Day had clearly filled him [DS2] with horror that I was somehow going to take the limelight -

Peg - well, to be honest, I'm not sure Little Passports is worth the cost, but it was part of my frantic buying-stuff-to-home-ed frenzy. DS2 only really likes the present that comes each time and I have to nag him to look at the online games, let alone complete the paper booklet. The first delivery is exciting because you get a mini suitcase complete with a passport and world map. After that, it's just an envelope once a week. I think there's a Facebook page of home edders doing their own version - will see if I can find it.

No sign of DS1's friend . He often used to do this, so I'm not surprised. But feel so bad for DS1 because it was such a brave thing to invite a friend over and he has been so nervous all morning.

DS2 is in a sulk with us. DH and I began to have a constructive conversation with each other about it, but then DH started saying, "You should be doing xyz with him" and things deteriorated. AIBU to suggest DH takes his turn putting the boys to bed and cooking dinner? His response to that is that he works and I don't. I said even people who do paid work have to cook and put their children to bed. Am just tired of being the one who does it every night.

Also, have you ever watched Futurama? There's an episode in one of the later series called Möbius Dick and it is a bit of a parody of the story. Might be worth a look. (Probably best to watch it yourself first - can't remember the age rating but some later episodes are quite rude)

Peg - I have asked about the home-ed alternative to Little Passports on a Facebook home ed page. Will let you know when I hear.

Ah thanks for the advice re passports. Hmmmm @ MrToffee, that's bollocks frankly, of course he needs to be doing bedtime and stuff!

So sorry your DS1 was let down after being so brave :( do you know the boy's parents to get them involved in giving him a prod next time?

(The Futurama suggestion was to Swan sorry)

Peg - it's called Home Ed World Explorers. Actually, it looks really good - have just applied to join it myself .