March of the Fledglings 2015

[Slingclutter]

Heartfelt thanks to Whoknows for running the February thread during such a stressful time for her (and to Toffee for helping out.)

If you are strugging with C.H.A.O.S. (can't have anyone over syndrome) and S.T.U.F.F. (something that undermines family fun) then this is the thread where we (loosely) follow the step-by-step Flylady housekeeping system (in our own, unique, relaxed style) with lots of chat, support and and along the way.

Flylady link link here.

This little-and-often system is designed so that you can follow a series of steps and routines each day (which gradually become second nature) in zones of the house which are designated weekly; defining and minimising housework, which in theory should leave you with loads more time to do something more interesting instead!

At the same time it is intended to reduce that panicky "rabbit in headlights" feeling when you are overwhelmed and everything needs doing all at once. No problem if you miss a day or two; just jump right back in and it will all come around next month again!

It's up to you, but we advise not signing up to receive the Flylady e-mails as you will be inundated! All the information you need will be linked here on a daily basis.

From the first of the month, we will be following Flylady's steps and routines using a three-pronged approach (dependent on the stage everyone is at):

1. start or repeat baby steps

1. repeat baby steps + do 15 mins a day decluttering in the current zone

1. reinforce babysteps and do daily missions if you have finished decluttering.

[And if you are really enthusiastic and have finished decluttering - you can go on to detailed deep cleaning in each zone.]

More info here on getting started and on Flying lessons. Here's the launch pad for more experienced fledglings.

Don't be put off by the purple prose and barf-tastic language of the site - the underlying system is sound!

Three key points to keep in mind:
(1)No perfectionism allowed (this is harder than you might imagine!)
(2)You are never behind; just start where you are and anything you do is progress.
(3) It didn't get into a mess overnight - it won't get tidy over night - accept it will take time to get on top of things and you will be happier.

If you are new; then trying to spend 15 mins decluttering daily and doing the babysteps is a good way to start. Some of us (mentioning no names!) can have scary looking lists but don't let that worry you! Do what you can, anything is better then nothing, and don't judge yourself against others.

If all else fails, a brew + the power of three technique + a bit of support on here can work wonders!

Oh and don’t let it put you off if we appear a bit cliquey – some of us have been on here for years – but all lurkers, intermittent returnees, regulars, oldies and newcomers very, very welcome!

Ha! Swan wrt Masterchef mimicry

DD the cheeky sausage is forever saying to me (in that voice) "tonight we are having baked beans three ways: burnt, in a ramekin, or on toast" or, if I'm late with supper, "meanwhile Slingclutter is having timing issues" or "Slingclutter is having difficulty balancing her flavours"

TBH SC her mum is most likely stoned :( DD has calmed down anyway, they did the rest of their telling the time workbook (although both rather excitable this morning so not sure how well they actually 'get' quarter past/to!) and are now playing til we leave around 9.

Thank you for updating about the maths question! I am relieved :o

to do
Put towel wash on before work
Make sandwich to take for lunch
Tumble dryer on
Decent dinner (must get a sauce out of the freezer)
Put dry clothes away
Read more

Meh, that'll do

sigh. Dh cross again this morning. Was not enjoying ds talking non-stop yesterday (when we were on a visit to strange house) and interrupting all the adults (there were two of them apart from us) and said he thought ds2 had got much worse. I suspect it was just being on an outing to strange place that made ds hyper. But still. Will have to work harder on those micro social skills. Would it be very odd to just give ds the rule that children should be seen and not heard at table?

I seem to remember that as teenagers we generally said very little, noticed the food, listened avidly to the grownups gossiping and waited to talk to our friends later. Do children actually converse at mealtimes when there are lots of strange adults present or is it the norm for them to be relatively silent unless questioned? Lost sight of what is normal anymore...[sigh]

Beautiful day. We are off out later to meetup but have to show ds2 the "work" timetable in a moment - he has asked for one

Two children in school! The third is running himself a bath. Dh seems to be alright now. Being harangued by a child is not fun.

ta da
ds to school with minimal shouting
speak to school re missing cheque
1 load soft toys in washing machines
2 bags soft toys in freezer
Deal with grumpy father who decided that mum was being impossible and now was a good time to fix my shower
Deal with grumpy mother who wanted to know where the hell dad was
Bread dough from last night is now in the oven

I am trying to figure out what to do with my day as there is loads that needs doing but this sinus/ear thing is annoying me. Perhaps bleaching the shower will clear out the airways But it takes effort. Will have to ponder that. I have a pile of laundry to do and a lot of other stuff and breakfast is needed. So i might start there.

Why the Jeff are you freezing your soft toys Bitchy?

Because some helpful toad thought it was a good idea to make unwashable toys for children and I want to kill the dust mites. I have a severe allergy to dust and dust mites and people kept buying ds bloody soft toys despite me asking them not to. Ikea and some of the others can be washed, the rest get frozen for at least 48hrs if not 72 hrs. It is most concerning, everytime i have stuck my head in the freeze to sort stuff out for tea there is a little face peering out at me

Oh FFS DD1 went into school for 1 hour yesterday, felt panicky and no won't go back in again. We have just regressed 2.5 years. We had just agreed to HE her from the end of the school year (Jul) but wanted her to keep going so I can do my dissertation! Gah, it is 1.20pm and I haven't done a stroke of proper work yet today.

However, I have:
Cleaned 2 sinks
Handwashed a cardigan and scarf that have been sitting waiting for about 6 months
Organised a man with learning disabilities to dig over a flowerbed (but he does need supervision and a coffee/chat at the end - not sure if he actually saves us any time in the long run but he likes to feel useful)
Bleached out the stains on 2 school tops for DD2
Put on a lights/whites wash
Spent aaaages with DD1 in my role as child psychologist

PegLeg, what time?! I'd have said no too. Swan, do you think that your DS was unsettled by the 'new' aspects of the day or does your DH think he may have been attention-seeking a bit? Bless are there any specialised units that your DD can attend until the end of the year rather than the school so you can get your dissertation completed?

My DD has been sent home from school sick, so she'll be off for the rest of the week now. She could do with a rest tbh, so probably no bad thing really but she's been poorly with bugs a lot and has missed a fair bit of school. When you're sick, you're sick though - not a lot you can do.

Ah I see Bitchy sorry I didn't realise about the allergy.

I have sometimes washed supposedly unwashable toys, but not worth risking if they're special of course. How frustrating :( do you have to freeze them repeatedly?

Bless that's very upsetting that DD won't go back now. That is the situation I was in partway through year 10, although different reasons - but I am very very glad my parents let me stay home. Is there a chance now she's older you'll still be able to get on with your work when she's having down time (once the immediate crisis has settled I mean) or maybe if you set her some work to do? You could work alongside each other maybe? I may be very naïve in that suggestion.

Bless - oh dear. I have advice from DS1's therapist fresh in my mind: if child can't do what is asked of them then, rather than do nothing, take them a step back and see if they can do something smaller. So in your situation, just getting your DD to the school reception area tomorrow is better than not taking her in at all.

Or (completely different solution) can you arrange to take her out to home ed now, but arrange childcare so you can finish your dissertation whilst she 'deschools'?

Bitchy - made me laugh to think of you seeing a little face peering up at you from the freezer. I do the same thing with cuddly toys, by the way (allergic household here too and cats aren't helping, but are worth it for other reasons like cuteness and frequent cuddles).

Swan - I don't think you should ask DS2 to be quiet at mealtimes; he needs to learn to participate properly in the conversation, not to be silent. Not sure our mealtimes are normal either, but I find that my DC will be silent if strangers or less well-known people are around, but chatter 19 to the dozen if familiar people are here. But don't feel you are to blame for DS2's chattiness yesterday (it sounds as if you do): it's part of his condition to struggle with this kind of thing - it's not your fault. DH needs to realise that!

My DH is hoovering downstairs. I have just pointed out that I did all this yesterday and he's told me it needs doing every day. Yeah, right. You can imagine my response.

Peg - what an awful start to the day!

SC - love your DD's cheeky commentary!

Overslept this morning and was roused by an urgent knocking at the front door. Staggered downstairs in my dressing gown to find a friend standing outside: we had arranged for her to pop in for tea at 9.15. I had completely forgotten and, as we no longer have to get up early for school runs, everyone was still sleeping . She must think we are a lazy bunch.

Anyhow, I got dressed extremely quickly and we had tea and carrot cake for breakfast.

Then had to do a whirlwind tidy up before DS1's teacher arrived at midday: washing up, tidy kitchen, sweep floor, room rescue in dining room (where they have the lesson), etc.

Lesson went well. She is very pleased with DS1's progress .

Spent the rest of my time helping DS2 plan and create a poster about looking after your teeth. Very difficult to get him to focus, but he did eventually produce a poster with the salient points on it and some funny pictures of a healthy, shiny tooth and an unhealthy tooth. I had to colour it in for him, though , as he was bored by then. Afraid I agreed to it as I was fed up with pushing him by then and secretly love colouring in.

DH is being very busy in an alarmingly pointed way, so I think I need to go and do some more home ed with DS2 now.

Indeed Fiz I was but TBH this child, sweet as she is, has no boundaries whatsoever. I've said she can come round after school to play and will probably stay for tea - I don't want DD going there anymore as she comes back smelling of weed :(

I'm regretting the invitation though as have a horrible headache today.

Don't think I even switched the washing on this morning so must go check that.

Ooooh post just arrived and it contained a big information book about home education in our county, and a form to fill in. Will do that tomorrow with DH as he's got a day off.

They should be done every month but freezer space is normally limited but having recently defrosted the freezer it means there is space. The stupid things will stay there until the weekend if not monday. Will depend if I remember to take them out or not

I went with the feeling crap so have learnt to cable. Feeling marginally better but now off- around half the countryside with a grumpy ds in tow. Have good afternoons and will catch up with you all later

Annnnnnnd Breathe. Ds has decided to become a teenager. He is only communicating in grunts and the attitude Thank fuck for bedtime!

Hear hear to that Bitchy!

I hope you will forgive me but after a very positive morning, the day deteriorated very badly with dd having some sort of hysterical attack (thanks to dh who didn't mean to cause it but did) and I feel really stressed and wound up now, so just going to post links for tomorrow, and go and try and unwind before bed. Promise to catch up properly in the morning.

Big waves to everyone though!!

The baby-step for Thurs 12 March is here and is about not trying to do too much too fast, not letting perfectionism get the better of us, and deleting her e-mails (which hopefully not many of us have subscribed to!).

We are in Zone 2 this week: the kitchen March 8-14.

If you want to, you can declutter 15 mins a day in this zone!

The detailed cleaning list (if you are at that stage) for Zone 2 is here.

Thursday's mission is here our old favourite (not) - scrubbing kitchen taps with a toothbrush!

The daily focus for Thursday is: errand day grocery shopping, doc appts, hairdressers etc.

The monthly habit for March is the controversial one about getting dressed immediately and wearing lace up shoes indoors etc.

For a summary of the above, see the flight plan : www.flylady.net/c/fp.php?tzm=-120 which should update itself daily.

Keep going everybody!!

**

Sorry you and your dd also had a very stressful day Bless!

Sling you must all still be pretty stressed - hope you can get some sleep and everyone is calmer in the morning.

The school rang me to pick DD up today - unwell - can't go back until Monday. Excuse me if I appear intermittently until then (or if I appear every 10 minutes

The good thing is - as the teenage years plod on hysterical fits become more everyday and more familiar. Dd just had a fit about wanting a special pair of trainers as an extra birthday present. I felt strangely calm. Either I will get them or I won't - but I suddenly realised I didn't have to argue with her about them...[floats off onto serene fifty something cloud]

Poor you too Fizrim and your dd too!

[Leaves calming mugs of Belgian hot chocolate [sorry I'm off the booze for the Lent!] on naughty corner bar for everyone in need tonight ...]

G'night all!

we did quite a lot of home edding today - slightly spoilt by ds2 then outwitting me over computer password at 5pm! (which is meant to be when his computer switches off after an hour)
Also went to a fresh air running around sort of meetup. Loads of people. But I felt rather tired. Ds2 chatting to a group of lovely girls

Also managed to take dd to dentist get her two fillings done (very small)
Pick up some dollars for ds1 ski trip

and go to Beavers to help

Fell asleep for three hours this afternoon . Not sure what's wrong with me at the moment, as I keep feeling absolutely ovewhelmingly tired. I was only revived when DH brought me dinner on the sofa with a glass of sparkling wine.

Sorry about the teenage-style hysteria, SC. Very wearing.

You sound very, very busy, Swan. Your DS2 is doing really well socially.

Fizrim - oh, that's annoying. Hope your DD feels better soon.

Thanks Swan! (I think! ) DD is definitely being assaulted by teenage hormones, even though she's only 11 yrs. I had a good "floating/remove myself/step-back objective" moment with an earlier dispute (either today or yesterday - they have all merged in to one black cloud!!) when I was able to calmly say "as we discussed, you will get your Ipod back on Friday if you have done x" (we are finding taking away and earning back a good system atm) and felt content that she would either comply or not and that was completely her choice.

It was just that dh inadvertently stoked everything up this afternoon once I had said "no" and was handling the ensuing outrage when he said "no" in a more dramatic way by unexpectedly turning on his heel and walking out (when he had been about to take her somewhere she was desperate to go to) and dd then became so incoherently angry that she couldn't control it and it turned in to full blown hysteria. (She was shouting and crying so loudly that she started to hyperventilate at one point.) Dh then made it even worse by coming back and giving in, thus undermining himself and me and totally confusing dd. And to cap it all, because he had missed the panic attack whilst oof faddling with his GPS, he then accused me of making too much of it all. Honestly, I could have quite happily have strangled the pair of them.

[Rocks silently in corner] Really am going to slope off now. Sorry for 'me' 'me' post yet again!!

Oh I did manage 5 loads of washing today [desperately clutches at positives]

G'night all!

I'm not surprised you feel tired Toffee as you have so little time to yourself. Sleep well!

Yes, you deserve a medal after your day Swan!