Clutter, emotions, and folding our socks - Kondo thread 6. All welcome!

[SteptoeAndDaughter]

The Book: The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing by Marie Kondo, Cathy Hirano

Summary of the process link from mipmop

Article of top tips by Marie Kondo

Thread 5
Thread 4
Thread 3
Thread 2
Thread 1

And BeCool's copy of Coughles list of ORDER from Thread 2 for everyone:

"ORDER TO DECLUTTER/LOCATE THE JOY*

Clothes folding by rummy
Books
Papers
CDs
DVDs
Skincare products
Make-up
Accessories
Valuables (passports, credit cards, etc.)
Electrical equipment and appliances (digital cameras, electric cords, anything that seems vaguely ‘electric’)
Household equipment (stationery and writing materials, sewing kits, etc.)
Household supplies (expendables like medicine, detergents, tissues, etc.)
Kitchen goods/ food supplies
Other (If you have many items related to a particular interest or hobby, such as ski equipment, then treat these as a single subcategory.)

KonMari stresses that sentimental items should be left till the end. So for example, when you are doing papers, don't include photos of your children, love letters, old school reports etc, leave anything with a sentimental connection for later."

*As discussed in previous threads, your order for decluttering and finding the joy/spark/recognizing may be different to recommendations.

Hazy, if storing clothes according to season suits you, then I see no reason that you shouldn't. And if it gives you joy to keep it in your father's bag, then it sounds like the best solution for you. But you do have to work out how to store the bag and contents so that neither is ruined by damp. Where in your flat are you planning on storing it? Could it be in full view, I think that would be more in the Kondo spirit.

It's really becoming habit, this kondoing. I had to wrap a present to post to my auntie, so I kondoed the gift wrapping bag and I am now trying to think of a better way of storing the wrapping paper and ribbons. The bag is upcycled from a pair of fishermans style yoga pants, it's one leg, I put a drawstring in the top and closed the other end. I like the bag very much as I thought of it myself, but it's not working very well as the wrapping paper gets crinkled and it's really messy inside. Need to find a long, narrow box (no drawers available, and when I used a drawer for wrapping paper, it was even more messy than the bag).

anzu the bag was previously 'stored' on the floor in a heap of other bags so I think that's why it got mouldy - my clothes never have in the wardrobe etc. So I think that part will be ok; I guess it's working out if it's really bringing joy or if I'm clinging to it because i like the idea of it (lovely leather holdall - seems glamorous somehow, from an age when I didn't have to squash everything into wheely carry on bags).

will be out for a few days til I can clean it so I will ponder. Wondering also whether I should put some of the other bags in the 'sentimental' bag for later. Most of the bags I know own I haven;t used in years, but keep because I think they are beautiful or have an emotional attachment. Are other people putting some items from a category back to be kondoed at the very end?

Pointless I had a similar wobble about a fleece top (classy!), which hadn't left the house yet, so I rescued it and wore it that afternoon, feeling glad it hadn't gone. Since then I've worn it... never! And its been in a sad heap on the bedroom floor. I just washed it and it needs to go back in the charity bag! Perhaps I had to wear mine to say goodbye - & perhaps you just hadn't said goodbye to your top properly yet. If you want to buy it back then do though, at the worst you'll donate it again and the charity shop'll get even more money. :)

Kiwi What nappies are the rainbow ones? They look lovely. at thought of DD's boring white nappies - I dyed Ds' size 1s & 2s funky colours, but DD needed size 3 really early on, as her little fat thighs were being squished in the size 2s, so I had to buy lots of size 3s and never got round to dying them. Perhaps I should? They'd definitely bring me more joy.

Definitely use the bag. I have used a beautiful old suitcase to store the family karate kit. It gets brought out each week, so gets some use.

Sorry miss I missed your post. Planning to move it to top of wardrobe where out of season clothes currently live in three vac bags (or, it was three but having kondod tops and bottoms it is now 1 and a bit)

That was to Hazy I think.

Pointless I agree that this is probably a wobble about mat leave ending.

I have come to realise that the fear of regretting giving something away was getting in the way of my decluttering. I was so scared of making a mistake that I kept it all. That is no way to live. Sometimes we might regret, because we make mistakes and are human. But there are much worse mistakes to make, and maybe this is a way to practice forgiving yourself for not being perfect.

And as a separate post, because again odds and ends from Book 2:

First off, there is some very odd stuff in there. For example:

• a personal anecdote about getting up at 4 a.m. as a girl to rearrange bowls and plates in the kitchen cupboards at a time when she wouldn't be in the way of her mother cooking. Not just one time, but many times.

-saying that the best way to get rid of stuffed animals (read that section after Linzer mentioned it was there). Essentially she's talking about getting rid of stuffed animals kept from one's earlier childhood, not stuffed animals belonging to DCs. Gist was that they are hard to throw out because they have eyes, and therefore seem too human to throw out. So cover the head of the animal with a paper bag, or blindfold (!) the animal, and it will be easier to throw out. Somehow I find the concept of blindfolding your stuffed animal before tossing it deeply disturbing...

And on to the useful stuff in there:

• the details on folding really boil down to: try to get it folded into a square shaped packet, no matter what. So skirts that really flare out at the base, fold in several times from the edges until you have reached a shape that can be folded in the way you already know for shirts, etc. Jackets with hoods, fold in the hood first over the chest, then continue folding in the usual way. And so on. Some one said earlier on here that they were kind of freestyling the folding? You are probably doing it right!
• she's suggesting hats and headwear get stored in a place higher up, and shoes get stored lower down, with the heaviest shoes lowest, and lighter shoes above them. All sorts of fairly woo explanations as to why (though, personally I feel it rather makes sense along the lines of: if you've forgotten where you stored something, then look automatically for stuff that goes higher up on your body in a higher location, and look for the stuff that is worn lower in a lower location.)
• similarly, suggests knickers and other light items get stored higher up, and heavier items like sweaters get stored lower down.
• the most important guiding principle when deciding where and how to store things in the kitchen is - will it make it easier to clean up the kitchen? (Frankly, most of the kitchen stuff she wrote is most relevant to Japanese kitchens only, such as using the storage space under the cooker. Few Japanese homes have ovens, so there are usually two or three gas burners, maybe a special built-in grill for fish as well, but all the area underneath is storage space, whereas that is usually where the oven is in Western kitchens).
• as a general concept, think of how your rooms looked empty, when you moved in, or think of how the architect envisioned it when planning. The closer you get to that kind of empty space, the more spacious your home will feel. So, as much as possible, move things from the floor into shelves and cupboards, have fewer items of furniture if possible, and so on.
• If there is some draft when you stand at the entry to your home, with the front door open, then this is basically a good thing, as there is a healthy airflow. Try to ensure that furniture is not positioned so that it will impede that airflow. (Personally, I'm sure there can be too much of a good thing, particularly in winter, but I can still see where she's coming from!)

God, me too, bringme!! shudder

She is a tad insane indeed.

To be honest, I suppose I can understand that the fact that they have eyes makes it hard to get rid of them, though! Poor little inanimate cute fluffy objects

Does she actually mean stuffed animals (taxidermy)? Or does she mean soft toy animals?

No kondoing here today, but plenty of evangelising!

Monthly blood test and nurse was not busy. Got chatting about de-cluttering and she's finding it hard with a job, a DP and DDs 2 and 5. I passed on the word about the book, taught her to fold knickers... using a paper towel suitably folded into a knkcker-shape. Then I samosa-ed another. She's spending this evening doing her carrier bags.

Then had lunch at a friend's house and demonstrated knicker-folding - she was thrilled, as she was keeping socks and tights in a carrier bag, so I showed her sock-folding and samosa-ing tights, so she can get all these garments in the same drawer! She cooked me a great lunch! Win, win,win!

Iqueen She means soft toys; I had a quick glance over this section in the hope that it might help DS, but quickly realised it wouldn't... and she does say it's aimed at female rather than male readers (no mention of children).

I also read the section on children, but it wasn't a huge help either. Basically (apologies if I'm repeating anything anzu has already posted):

a) you can't force anyone to be tidy; if someone isn't, you should just accept their untidiness and put your energies into cleaning instead,

b) the most important thing you can do is to teach your children how to fold their clothes (toys are much more difficult to categorise as there are so many different toys made out of different materials, children play with them in different ways and it's hard to make a habit out of tidying them up) and they should also thank their clothes for keeping them warm, dry, etc when they put them away.

Sadly, my DC weren't quite as enthusiastic about folding their clothes as MK thinks every child will be - DD2 still folds hers, but DS can't be bothered and DD1 unkondoed all her clothes as she didn't like the way they looked (sacrilege!).

Am still stuck on office supplies/stationery, as work keeps getting in the way of kondoing.

We have 2 DDs under 6, and followed the instructions of the toy rotations blog that's been linked a few times. I've only done it for the baby toys/shared toys that used to all live downstairs. It's worked really well so far, and only having one box out at a time makes it speedy to tidy up.

Tbh I think MK is being slightly lazy about children and how to get them involved in kondoing; IMO it's perfectly possibly to categorise most toys, at least to a certain extent. I used to rotate toys when the DC were younger and it worked well, but it's getting a little trickier now that they're older and have so many bits and pieces (not necessarily toys - things like stationery, letters and postcards, school stuff, etc.).

I've decided to leave kondoing their things until I've finished all my own and then make a start with them if they're willing (I can already see DD1 claiming that every single thing she owns brings her joy). I'm planning to do it in the same order too, i.e. clothes (which I've already done to some extent), books, stationery, etc. and leave the toys/games until last as komono.

A big thank you for those of you who are posting about book 2. I have to admit that I find it interesting and disturbing especially the teddy bit!
Have been doing some photos and boy it takes time. They are all neat and tidy but I want to redo the albums that I did years ago. I have also taken photos of old photos to make a photo book.

I still find that I am revisiting some categories to fine tune them. Everything is still folded and has been since I started.
For those of you who are starting out I promise you , you will be amazed at how much you get rid of if you apply the rukes. My house was not untidy when I started but I have got rid of a lot and my dtawers all have nicely rolled things in them.

Thank you for all your lovely words, I think deep down I am trying to cling onto the amazing year I've had with DD. I'm feeling a little better now as she had a settling in day at nursery which she loved (all those new people to wave at and make a fuss of her!) and I had a handover meeting at work yesterday and got my timetable etc so I feel a bit more organised.
I am quite disturbed about the blindfolded soft toys, imagine if someone saw them in your bin - they'd think you were a proper nutter! I think when I was a teenager I donated some of my old ones to the children's hospital. I expect the women's refuge would appreciate them.
Finally sorted paperwork last night - hooray! I have a lot more folders than MK suggested eg. One each for things like P60s and pension info and another of stuff to do with the car. I'm happy though because for the first time ever I feel like I could lay my hands on a document instantly if I needed to.

pointless glad that you're feeling a bit better about it!

On Kondoing with children. DS is eight, and is part-way through a diagnosis for ASD.
Until now, getting him to part with anything has been nigh-on impossible. When his toothbrush was replaced, for example, I had to keep the old one for months, until it finally got forgotten and I could get rid of it. There were usually at least two old toothbrushes still hanging around at any time. Earlier this week, when again he needed a new one, I suggested he thank the old one for the work it had done cleaning his teeth, and let it go for a long rest (in the bin!) after all the work it had done. Much to my surprise, he said thank you to it, and let it go straight to the bin.
I was surprised! And pleased.

I don't think it's going to have an effect on toys, sticks, stones, or clothes. But hey, every little helps.

Interesting to hear about book 2, though I don't think I'll be rushing to buy it when it hits the UK. I think we've all recognised that MK is a bit bonkers, but that bag-over-the-head thing makes her sound slightly psychopathic. What's next? Concrete boots?

I'm feeling a bit demotivated this week. I've been working late every day, and husband has been visiting his dad in hospital after work, so it feels like a struggle just to keep the dog walked and the washing under control. The aim for the weekend will be to kondo the fabric stash, which didn't quite happen last weekend, for various reasons. That should get the box room back to looking like a useable space rather than the landfill site it resembles at the moment.

leeloo The rainbow nappies are a mix of Little Lambs (10 for £50) and FuzziBunz (gifted). They're pocket nappies and so cute on. DD2 has gorgeously fat wee thighs but they seem to fit her ok. And I definitely think you should tiedye your DD's nappies. They will look so cute!

I bought the book for my sister and she told me that her DH read it and has already Kondoed his clothes! He seems quite excited about it all. She's getting started on hers tomorrow.

Interesting about book 2. I like the idea of the diagrams for folding.

Need to do my daughters' clothes next as they're both growing out of things. But it will be difficult to do when they're around. I think I'll sort my recipe books today and make a plan for tackling the children's things.

I think the blindfolded soft toys things is bonkers too, but I think perhaps if you are Japanese it's not so crazy. Think of how much they love Hello Kitty etc. Has anyone seen the Japanese animated film Totoro? As I understand it, Japanese mythology is full of animals with human personalities, and it's deep in their culture. Many cultures are similar - on Iceland, more than half the population believes in elves and other creatures.

I blame Toy Story for my inability to get rid of anything with eyes. I apologise to them if I find they're upside down or squashed or something!
I'm not happy about the eye covering thing though!!!

Masses of toys and kids books to the chazza this morning. Dh adding bits and bobs too.
About halfway through the kids toys. Downstairs anyway.

Bit of work then pub lunch with dh I think then collecting my birthday cake. 40 tomorrow

bring, yes, I liked it very much, it's more for children/families, but I was introduced to it by my sister who doesn't have kids ;) She gave my kids some lovely Totoro pins when she came back from a holiday in Japan (from an animation museum!), and I'm ashamed to say I am "keeping" them for them (in my treasure box, I love them so much!).

Aw, sorry about your grandmother. But you are totally right - sometimes we cling onto things when we can't cling onto people. The memories will stay.

Thanks for the excerpts from book 2. The airflow comments are similar to Feng Shui principles.

bring for feeling stalled. I can relate to that. I've been looking at my Kondoed cupboards; clothes; DS' room and feeling joy that they have stayed tidied and uncluttered, but there are still areas that just aren't working and I'm struggling with how best to manage them eg do they need reKondoed? do they need new storage? do they need to be physically in a different location in the house? Meh!

JKS happy birthday for tomorrow (in case I don't post before then) I hope you and your DH have a lovely day