Bitchy takes on the January Fledgling Thread. Buckle in and enjoy the ride...

[BitchyTakesOnManagement]

Ok. Welcome to the January Fledglings thread. Before we get started we have Some important notices

1. The fledglings are a long running thread, We are might seem clicky but that is what happens when some of us have been on the same thread for up to 5 years
2. We are rather partial to new blood Pull up a seat in the naughty corner
3. Don't assume you can march in and impose your way. We follow the fly lady way and we adapt it to suit our lives and needs. You are welcome to come join us for support and chat, don't assume you know best.
4. There is more to us than cleaning. If you want to be obsessive about cleaning you will find us and and our interpretation of fly lady frustrating. You might be happier else where.

Right, as harsh as it might seem, it is important to get that out of the way as we expect this January thread to be busier with newbies and there has been problems in the past.

So the fly lady system there are rules and we have adaptations.

1. NO perfectionism!!!
2. Something is better than nothing and sometimes good enough really is good enough.

3.This is not about the housework, it is about having more time to do fun stuff. Don't ever feel guilty about doing stuff with the kids over doing the housework. The kids are more important.

And the practical adaptations. We have discussed the Marie Kondo book and the approaches within on previous threads. We are all agree two things: the author does not have kids and that the principles are very good for decluttering and that they can be used to in conjunction with the fly lady system (Marie Kondo to get in control, and fly lady to stay in control). As for the fly lady system there are some of the babysteps and things that are advised that are either "huh, why?" or just don't fit in with the household. We advise a pinch of salt and discretion with a dash of reality thrown in. E.g. if you are a no shoes household then clearly the wearing shoes in the house part of babystep 2 is going to make you go This is where adaptations come in and if past threads are to be gone on this will be discussed and there are various takes on it as and when they arise.

Also for the over enthusiastic newbies to the fly lady site and system everything you need will be posted here in the form of links. There are 3 levels:
Newbie: babysteps - get into these habbit
student: Missions and babysteps once the habits are habit the missions are a piece of cake.
Expert: deep cleaning, missions and babysteps - forget this if you have clutter, seriously.
Oh and for the love of all sanity do not subscribe to the email alerts. Seriously. Just don't.

Jump on board, buckle in and lets kick the butt of January.
Bitchy special brew on the naughty corner bar, natch
do we warn the newbies about the special brew or let them find out for themselves?

Oh no Trazzles

Pneumonia after everything you have been through

Your poor ds (and poor you)

(Certainly puts all fledgling housework problems in to perspective )

Hope your ds recovers very quickly and that you can leave hospital soon x

Oh no Trazzles

Goodness, it doesn't sound like anyone is having a good day!

Really hope your DS recovers quickly, Trazzle :( You must be exhausted after a night like that, so make sure you get some rest too.

Swan, I would be at that too! His cereal! Grr!

Shannara, sorry about your daughter, I hope it gets sorted fast :(

SC - I have a tumble drier like that, it's incredibly frustrating. It only heats up if it's got about 3 things in it, which means I have to hang everything up and dry it all in shifts throughout the day. The engineer just shrugged his shoulders and suggested we ring the manufacturers

Hope ds improves and recovers quickly Trazzles

Thanks all. Just waiting for meds and then heading home. To bed.

No flying for me today, though I do still have a clean sink :-). Straight after morning school run I drove the 18 miles to town to get my car checked out for a water leak/heater failure. Turns out it needs a new water pump :-(. However I then took the chance at being in town sans children for the first time in forever and hit the sales. Got several bargains for myself and the DDs. Now I have very achey feet.

@SlowCommotion, DD1 is a very fortunate girl and has her own pony though not kept here (we live in a bog-standard 3-bed semi on an estate). She is living my dream! I am 50 years old and have longed for a pony/horse all my life but we can't afford 2 so she gets priority. I did make sure to get one big enough for me to ride too but DD is so dedicated that I barely get a look-in and anyway I'm a rubbish rider (never could afford many lessons) so usually feel a bit demoralised when I do get on. DD is so much better than me now. She is aiming to be a top dressage rider :-)

Trazzles, that must have been so terrifying. Hope DS is lots better quickly.

Back to flying tomorrow!

Hello All,

What with flying, working , cooking and having visitors over the weekend it's been hard to come on the thread to write. When I come on I mainly seem to have time to read the daily instructions and to catch up on your news.

So, congratulations on the baby Engels. And to all sick people do take care. You're more important than boxes and clean cupboards.

Thanks to all who have been helping me understand and follow the flying stuff.

Here , still working on routines and trying to muddle through different missions. Remembering wise words up thread about not burning out, I have to work on combining flying and working without getting over-tired.

Thinking about you whilst doing these things is a big help.
Re - DHs that don't pull their weight, I myself have several techniques ranging from asking, showing through to telling and down-right telling off now. This is progress for me. And , I'm sending to all others in a similar situation.

Ooohhh Bless you could be my doppelganger!! (Hopefully for you, not on the Flying front though!! ) I am also 50 yrs old and re-living my horse dreams through dd (although we visit a stables regularly, don't own as yet). I am also a lot worse rider than my dd!! Your dd sounds like she is doing really well!! And brilliant that she is so enthusiastic. And well done for finding fab horse. We have been searching (on and off) for 18 months for mother-daughter share to keep at livery for dd. Even paid for 2 vets inspections. Three potential sales fell through. It's like looking for a needle in a haystack. Partic difficult as riding culture slightly different here too (Belgium). Lots of horses with too much blood for us!

See from your profile that you have rabbits too!!

Well done re: sales success!!

Waves to Sayma and "sleep well" Trazzles and mini-Trazzles*

SC, Trazzles and Shannara sorry to hear about DC woes , really hope you're all sorted soon.

My DS has fit yet another viral type wheeze and cough so we've had disturbed nights as well.

Whispers and Bitchy I enjoy crafting too, but don't have the time to do much with DS around. My current interest is sewing with my £45 ikea sewing machine, it's fab! Would love to make my own clothes one day.

Today was a work day for me so...

Ta da
Fed cats
Made DSs bed
Wash load on
DS to nursery, me to work
8 hour shift at work
Fed cats
Wash load hung up to dry

BBL

Evening all.

Sorry to hear about your dcs SC, Frazzles and Shannera.
I've had a hectic day at work, which is the lightest day I will have all week

ta das
Defroster freezer (necessitated by over ordering freezer food from tesco in an attempt to make life easier!?!)
Put washing away
Tidied kitchen and lounge
Done all marking
Written risk assessments
Run drama club

Totally shattered now, and really looking forward to my two 15 hour days this week that are still to come!

Not very fly lady again, but more progress made. The day started with first attempt at vacuuming the hall, followed by a lengthy investigation to unblock the hoover, followed by revacuuming. The health visitor has been regarding DS1's speech and a referral made. Lots of laundry has been put away neatly in an Mk style. My Buggy Babes class was cancelled due to weather, but DS went to his first upgraded swimming lesson in a new time slot. I'll have more time tomorrow as there's only Ds2 and me to change and just the one lesson which might make Tuesdays more productive.

Last night we tidied the sides in our bedroom properly. The hypnobirthing CDs were removed... Ds2 is 21m! This reflects how much priority our room gets

While sorting laundry, some small items were weeded out of Ds2 's drawers. I've moved the laundry basket to the landing in the hope that. when undressing we can put stuff in directly to keep on top and not suddenly discover various stockpiles accumulating discreetly.

baby step is to do a mission which can be found here

fly kids linky

Tuesday is planning day

don't forget to spent 15mins decluttering in the current zone (bathroom and one other room)

launch pad if forgotten anything or links are broken

trazzles I am sorry that ds is ill - pneumonia is frightening enough

Another 14 year old son crisis again. Ds1 wrote some horrible graffiti on his desk last week which they finally pinned on him No mention of it this w/e and it only came out today. I don't think I now feel anything except just weary of all these incidents. Hurtful to teacher and hurtful to us and he is of course in floods of tears about it. Anyway at least he went off to Confirmation class as light relief. School are being quite supportive in a way - but the academic situation is a tinderbox - he thinks he is rubbish at his work/has given up in some subjects/and gets very angry when the teachers try and make him do something. I think honestly it has now got to the point where I might have to move him to another school - of course not many schools want you half way through Year 10 though... He does okay for a few weeks - then there is an incident - then he gives up again and gets angry. I really despair; I want to help him but I want him to understand this isn't going to work - writing rude stuff, saying rude stuff and shouting at everyone when asked to do more than he is doing.

[drinks Prosecco] [unfortunately it just makes me feel ill]

Sorry to hear that Swan, you sound really worn out by it. It does sound like you can talk to your DS, and that's always a good start.

Swan - so sorry you're going through that with DS1. Is there anyone at the school you can discuss this with - a form tutor for DS, maybe? I'm sure they have seen this all before, many times. The last thing you want to do is move him to another school at this stage, unless you think he's miserable there or you have lost confidence in the school.

trazzles - Poor you and poor DS. It must have been heart-stoppingly awful for you last night. I'm so sorry. I hope the antibiotics work soon.

SC - sorry you are still working through the debris left by your numerous guests . Sounds exhausting.

Too late to post anymore, but good to see so many 'ta das'. Thanks for the links, Bitchy.

ta da

Loads of washing up
Swished and swiped
Put washing on
Fed cats numerous times
Fed DC numerous times
Dried washing
Cleared out cat litter
DS2 and I not feeling well, so we had a lazy day...
Read 'Alice in Wonderland' together with a cat curled up on our laps
Watched videos of volcanoes and the last day of Pompeii
Practised times tables (half heartedly)
Reminded DS1 about his online Maths and he did it without complaint
Took cats to the vet for monthly kitten club
Dinners
Telly
No booze again
Bedtime routines
Printed out lots of home ed stuff

Morning all

Ds got up as DH was leaving for work at 5am! Tired boy today I think and his cold is making his athsma back again.

Trazzles Sorry to hear DS is poorly, hope he recovers soon.
Swan hope you and the school manage to resolve ds's issues.

Visit to school yesterday was very positive. The teacher is aware of the issues and they are resolving them. Dd had a good day, I think sometimes everything builds up and she only sees teh negative not the positive steps teh school is taking.

Have job interview next tuesday at 1pm, so busy day as don't finish volunteering until 11:45!

To do

Washing, one weekend away and the empty basket is now overflowing!
Funfit (volunteering)
Tesco
Quick tidy up
PTA AGM after school, delayed from september because not enough people made it. Have to do today though as old treasurers stood down and I'm the new assisitant treasurer so have to be voted in.

Had better go and make a start on washing!

have a good day everyone

Morning All,

I'm reading your news as I sit down for a cuppa after doing my morning routine and 5 min bathroom mission . Washing started last night and currently in the drier. Need to get properly dressed and make-up on now. Then off to work.

Thinking about all poorly ones and their carers. Sending you hugs and wishing you all much better.

Swan, what does his dad say ? Boys in their teens often create situations so that their dad will respond. Could that be an area to explore ? Take care.

I am not awake. I am not even pretending to be. Sleepwalking my way through the school run and then going back to bed. My early night last night got scuppered by ds who was up until nearly midnight and will be getting no sympathy if he says he is tired. School is where he will be tonight.

Morning everyone,

Sending you sleepy vibes Bitchy

I'm impressed with your early morning flying Saymwa

Shannara, it sounds like school are on board, hope you get the support you need.

I had a crap night with DS coughing himself awake throughout the night, bit of a zombie this morning!

However Ta Da's so far:
Cats fed
DS milk, nappy, breakfast etc
Dishwasher emptied
Topped up rinse aid, dishwasher salt and run a cleaner through the dishwasher
Put out the bins and recycling
Washing machine on (I'm trying to use up all the free samples of washing powder that I've accumulated)

Today is the fat fairy's planning day, isn't it bitchy? I'm going to try to meal plan and do the grocery online shop.

First, more coffee...

Yep today is planning day.

DS and I are home. Of course he is off school. DH was sick yesterday and looking after DD at home so the whole downstairs is a bombsite.

I need to GO GO GO!

And do the mission too.

Busy day ahead chez Trazzle. Thanks for all your good wishes. Can't wait for a more robust immune system!

today
thanks for all supportive words
rang up another school or two yes, I really did...there is no point waiting till ds1 is actually expelled from this school for his behaviour..
drove dd and two friends to school due to bus strike
woke up most of the night thinking I wouldn't wake up for said drive
and now today I am in my usual MOT muddle - not sure if it has expired or not as last year's test was not necessarily early or late. Have booked one next to dd's school so I can pick her up at same time (as long as nothing wrong with car) and then at least it is legal to drive there!!!!

Home ed friend/acquaintance coming round now but don't really want to appear a complete nutter and overwhelm her with all these things going wrong so will have to pull myself together and hide the cats as they seem to have fleas again

Oh yes and I have lost key to mum's house so now I cannot give it to cleaner and she will have to clean here today and that means I have to organise yet more things [get a grip]

Say dh being very supportive to ds1 but we are at a loss how to to proceed - we cannot just blame school as ds is clearly being very inappropriate

Trying to get back on track today. I am not exactly flying, as I am
only reliably managing 2 things on the babystep list, but it's a start! I am including make-up in my getting-dressed routine, and I am making sure sinks are clean. I have stuck up one Post-It note but it's not at eye-level so I'm not really seeing it. I am keeping the kitchen worktops cleaner and picking things up in hotspots a bit more often.

Aha moment! I was just typing here about how my late afternoons/evenings go and why it's hard to find time and energy to do an Evening routine, when I realised where I had a little space to do it. I shall start trying to do a quick Hotspot/Room Rescue in the half-an-hour after DD1 gets home from school and before we go out to the stables, instead of vegetating on the iPad with FB.

Today's ta-das:
Clean kitchen sink (DH clears up the kitchen in evening as I prepare the meal 6 days a week, and he's very much a night-owl so I am in bed way before he clears up. Therefore sink cleaning is better in the morning.)
Get dressed to make-up.
Make 2 packed lunches
School run with DD2
10 tricep dips (trying to start doing this every day to tone up the bingo wings
Phoned garage to book car in for repair

To-do list:
Put clean clothes away (DH does the laundry but won't put away)
Meal plan the rest of this week
Tesco order
Apply for extension on my dissertation
2 or 3 urgent emails to do
Work on dissertation

SC, the rabbits are lovely but very sadly the white one in the pic is no longer with us. She was the absolutely sweetest little bun ever (dwarf Hotot) called Butterfly - she would lick our hands and never ever bit. We found her dead in her run at the beginning of Sept and DD2 still sometimes sobs her heart out about it. She was replaced with a lovely creamy-coloured girl called Pretzel.

We hit very very lucky with finding the right pony at a dealer, would you believe. We probably overpaid for her but she has the loveliest temperament apart from a tendency to nip when being girthed or rugged. DD1 is very anxious (rode for 4 years before she dared canter) and I was extremely worried about getting something that was responsive and not dead to the leg, yet wouldn't scare DD by being too forward-going. We were extremely fortunate that she was only the 3rd pony we tried, and she has been pretty much perfect.

Can I have a bit of a whinge?

I have a lovely boy cat who is eight years old and I love him to bits. But he really dislikes my two year DS and seems really stressed by him. I discovered earlier he had pissed all over DSs toys which I have spent the last hour washing or throwing out.

DCat Also won't use the litter box properly, he stands next to it and pee's backwards, usually missing, and it goes all over my wood floor and it is really hard to clean off properly.

He gets urinary problems if not fed a special diet but I don't think this is the problem.

I love him but he is causing me so much stress and extra work at the moment. Sometimes I feel like rehoming him