Time for a bonfire of the clutter? Perhaps not but Fledglings are flying high with the fireworks through November...

[BlueEyeshadow]

Huge thanks to SC (and Bitchy!) for leading the thread throughout October (and to SC for such a copy and paste-able OP)

If you are struggling with C.H.A.O.S. (can't have anyone over syndrome) and S.T.U.F.F. (something that undermines family fun) then this is the thread where we (loosely) follow the step-by-step Flylady housekeeping system (in our own, unique, relaxed style) with lots of chat, support and wine and cake along the way.

Flylady link here.

This little-and-often system is designed so that you can follow a series of steps and routines each day (which gradually become second nature) in zones of the house which are designated weekly; defining and minimising housework, which in theory should leave you with loads more time to do something more interesting instead!

At the same time it is intended to reduce that panicky "rabbit in headlights" feeling when you are overwhelmed and everything needs doing all at once. No problem if you miss a day or two; just jump right back in and it will all come around next month again!

It's up to you, but we advise not signing up to receive the Flylady e-mails as you will be inundated! All the information you need will be linked here on a daily basis.

From the first of the month, we will be following Flylady's steps and routines using a three-pronged approach (dependent on the stage everyone is at):

1. start or repeat baby steps

1. repeat baby steps + do 15 mins a day decluttering in the current zone

1. reinforce babysteps and do daily missions if you have finished decluttering.

[And if you are really enthusiastic and have finished decluttering - you can go on to detailed deep cleaning in each zone.]

More info here on getting started and Flying lessons . Here's the launch pad for more experienced fledglings.

Don't be put off by the barf-tastic language of the site - the underlying system is sound!

Three key points to keep in mind:
(1)No perfectionism allowed - this is harder than you would imagine
(2)You are never behind just start where you are and anything you do is progress.
(3) It didn't get into a mess overnight, it won't get tidy over night - accept it will take time to get on top of things and you will be happier.

If you are new; then trying to spend 15mins decluttering daily and doing the babysteps is a good way to start. Some of us (mentioning no names!) can have scary looking lists but don't let that worry you! Do what you can, anything is better then nothing, and don't judge yourself against others.

If all else fails, a + the power of three technique + a bit of support on here can work wonders!

Oh and don’t let it put you off if we appear a bit cliquey – some of us have been on here for years – but all lurkers, intermittent returnees, oldies and newcomers very, very welcome!

Goth - I like hearing about Glasgow too, partly because I visit most years, partly because it does all sound very vibrant and exciting compared to life in my small town, even though as small towns go this one has a lot going on.

Swan - glad Brighton went well, my Ds wants to be a clown when he grows up (either that or a Formula 1 commentator).

SC - so sorry you are feeling so rough

Bitchy - sorry for you with your meds and resulting discomfort this week too

Shannara - glad the wedding went well, I do like weddings unlike a lot of MNers it seems from some of the threads on here.

Blue - charity shop dump certainly counts.

Ellie - you are a fucking bad influence on the thread .

Work again today, then Dd to drama and DS for his first night at Scouts, unfortunately these are going to cause problems with logistics on Thursday evenings from now on. Just watched a bit of one of those OCD cleaners shows on 4OD, uncomfortable viewing. We are definitely somewhere in between (as, I suppose, are 99% of the population). I'm not really following the missions at the moment, but trying to do a mission type task every day, cleaning somewhere that doesn't get done very often. Today it was the patio doors, the frames get filthy with fingerprints, muddy footprints on the threshold bit, etc.

Managed my list today but not sure I'll manage anything tomorrow. I have ranted at length on a separate thread it's on the Relationships board if anyone would like to weigh in but I'm feeling really upset. My mum kept on about the smell in our house and given the much worse state of my home growing up this is unbelievably hypocritical. It upset me so much my DH rang her and made her apologise.

I feel so demotivated now, I'm just looking at everything that needs doing and thinking what's the point because I'll still live in a dump anyway.

Sorry for the moan. I really should try and sleep now - pretty sure the amount of sleep I get is inversely proportional to the likelihood of me falling to pieces about this at work tomorrow!

Morning all. Disgusting morning here and I can't really be arsed to go to work. But I will. Am dropping DC's off with DH after school and then I have a whole 48 hours to myself. Mum is away and it will just be me. I have no idea what I am going to do with myself, am sure I will think of something.

fuzz I have posted on your other thread.

goth as one who lives in rural Lincolnshire....i get it.

whoknows i actually hi-fived myself upon hearing I was a bad influence. I made you swear...you never swear.

Back later!

Morning.

Woken at 7am by the fateful words, "mama, I did a poo!" In his nappy, and his pyjamas, and down his legs, and on a blanket

Ta da
DS stripped and straight in the shower
PJs soaking
Blanket washed
Wash #2 on
Annoying conversation with DH (be strict and firm, take it easy, and get out of the house....hmm remember having the same conversation with him when a) he gets ridiculously stroppy with DS or b) when he had depression and none of these suggestions was taken very well by him,!)

Feeling shattered, keeping expectations low for today. No schoolwork!

Finally finished Drama resources for handover, all getting printed. Now just have to go through each unit with replacement and go through a marked unit of work (which I have to mark!).

And onto next subject (nowhere near as complex, but have to collate everything) but will deal with that next week. Have marking to catch up on with this weekend.

For today, washing, light tidying/pottering and some cleaning, film afternoon and may just pop to playground now to enjoy the autumn chill outside.

Sorry for lack of personal. Brain is fried and will BBL!

Morning! Just written long post and lost it. But upshot was ...

I am now tottering around a bit (having to sit down every 5 mins but def improvement). So am feeling better except for large, bright luminously red nose. Cue dd and dh and jokes about infra-red and landing craft ... .

Enjoy your child-free time Ellie and we definitely need more bad influences on this thread!

Sorry you are feeling so demoralised Fuzzpig and you never need to apologise for moaning on here!

Love the snowflake Whoknows! Sorry to hear Thurs nights so complicated but you sound v. organised with your daily mission type tasks

Congrats on decluttering Blue despite yr testing day

Arf at raising a CBeebies presenter Swan!

Love the sound of the squirrel hat Goth!

Bitchy re: Jumpergate [suppresses rocking motion] did I mention the Victorian rag doll plus clothes I am sewing for my god-daughter. It was started when she was eight yrs old in 2008 ... she is now 14 ... it is still unfinished ....

Waves to everyone else!

Dh can delay his business trip no longer so will be leaving for S E Asia tomorrow but dsis2 arriving the following day (she was planning to come anyway but v. fortuitous in current circs.) Cleaning lady is here thankfully as dsis2 is clean and tidy one!

Oh dear Engels Sorry you are having a crap morning (literally!)
Hope the day improves! Congrats on completing large part of handover work. It all sounds v. testing.

re: blanketgate, some of you will remember that I was laid up for a few weeks after an operation just over two years ago. I started crocheting a blanket to keep me occupied. It is still less than half done, but lovely and snuggly .

Ellie - haha! Shows how different MN is to real life, I am a bit of a potty-mouth in reality. I am quite conscious of the fact that no one else swears at my work place - we're not public facing so there isn't that issue, they just don't. My last job had a slightly more, shall we say, robust, tone to the conversations.

Fuzzpig - I didn't see your other thread, sympathy from me and hope you get through today ok.

Engels - similarly, hope today imoroves, enjoy the fresh air.

SC - glad you have taken a turn for the better, don't overdo it.

fuzzpig Just read your other thread. So sorry you have encountered this hurtful criticism just at the time when you are such huge progress. No wonder you feel demoralised. As others have said, battling chronic illness, damp and fatigue is hard and you have been doing a sterling job. Easier said than done, but please try to not let it get you down or stop you decluttering.

Also easier said than done but try to banish the guilt too. Flylady despite her purple puddles and all of that barking stuff is actually quite good on this! You are feeling guilty because you care. But too much guilt can be immobilising. We are all in the position we are in now ifyswim. What's past is past. You can't help being ill. You cannot help the house being damp. We are all battling tribulations to various degrees; some (like yourself) much more so than others. What matters is the 15 mins of decluttering we can do today. So try and ignore all distractions and hurtful comments and put your Flying blinkers on!

Now, as usual, I just need to follow my own advice ...

[Swigs whoknows cuppa gratefully]

Hello
My 10 year old DD comes home from a school residential trip this afternoon. So I'm going to be getting the house all tidy and welcoming for her.

Tidy and hoover her bedroom
Hoover living room and stairs
Sweep hall
General decluttering

Hope everyone has a good day.

I am lacking motivation today. That might have something to do with the fact i slept through my alarm, it might also have something to do with the fact I have been teaching my mother how to sort out her virus protection renewals. it was like pulling teeth and i could have done it 6 times faster on my own

I have a load of stuff that needs to be done so I guess a list might focus my mind a bit:

pack ds' stuff for the weekend
shower and get ready for the office later
finish piecing the blanket
email checking and sorting out
Charity shop stuff out of the house

erm yep lets leave it at that realistic list. Tomo will be a day for getting more done

Sorry, no time to RTT, but big ((hugs)) to fuzzpig for enduring painful and undeserved criticism.

SC - so sorry you're ill

Out all day yesterday, taking DS2 to the Museum of London and to see the poppies at the Tower of London. Today, we are braving a home-ed group. Am not sure who is more nervous - DS2 or me. Very useful to have sat in on DS1's therapy lessons recently - I will be using all those strategies for dealing with anxiety.

Not much Flying happening here, but DS2 suddenly decided to become all housetrained this morning and made me coffee, brought me breakfast in bed and tidied up the kitchen. He told me that it was all tidy, then "Daddy made it all messy again" and he had to tidy it all up again .

BBL.

Thanks all I do feel a bit better today. Worn out from work anyway but my evening was made much easier by the fact I'd made soup yesterday, and the DCs and I are now snuggled up in bed watching Rugrats on the laptop :o

I put a wash on but that's about all that's going to happen today except hopefully hanging it all out later.

Easy day at home with the DCs tomorrow so will attempt some decluttering etc :)

Dealing with a big old Jurassic Park size pile of shit right now - school, medical, and so on. So everything else has rather taken a back seat to it. Plus windows need replacing in the house (double glazing fail) and cleaning to do that I really need to catch up on. I feel very stressed over everything - am trying to keep up while lurking, but not horribly successfully. Hope everyone is okay. Will check back when I'm not being pulled in 97 different directions.

Evening all!

Glad things a bit improved today Fuzzpig

Sorry you are undergoing such stress though Alice

Hope you survived home ed group Toffee (Judging from your blog you can certainly hold your head up v high there!)

Hope your dd has had a good time Terry

Ta da:
remained upright all day! Yay!
s & s bathroom
spoke to dsis2
went to doctor
arranged baby-sitting for various things next week
on-line grocery order
on-line banking
surfed for Christmas presents
washed 1 load and hung up
washed ballet kit

V. disappointed with myself because went to doc for this virus and found out blood pressure too high (partic for one on beta blockers). Never had a problem before (beta blockers for diff heart issue). Not surprising though really given recent weight gain (put back on weight lost before summer) lack of exercise and . Must do better.

Toffee we obviously swopped trips for the day, you in London and me in Brighton it is the change that does one good. Though London has no seaside (as far as I know - I am woefully illtravelled)

Fuzzpig if it's any consolation the female members of our family seem to thrive on subtle criticisms of each other's housekeeping whilst ignoring beams in our own eyes. My mother's favourite is to complain about the inefficient storage of plates and lack of cuphooks. I complain about her filthy floors. I always scrub my sister's sink very pointedly. She makes disparaging remarks about clutter (despite her house being filled with things like pink rock salt and moth eaten old carpets)
My sister said one annoying thing along the lines of Your House is looking Curiously tidy but was otherwise helpful because she suggested bunting to kill the noise in my kitchen (very echoey) Actually doable!

Alice I haven't looked on the other thread, but sleep deprivation the utter uselessness of professionals (including double glazing installers {grr] and the endless relentlessness of being a good mother when you are on your own and you can never be selfish must be making you feel fed up. I admire your zest for everything and I hope it comes back when you get a breathing space.

Done
started with usual complete clash between cleaning lady, ds2 getting hyped over football and me running around being crazily embarrassed by the state of the bedrooms and laundry basket and not even being able to get dressed properly or shower before leaving. Thus ending up at Home Ed football with clothes intended for the recycling as it was so **freezing outside (wind howling in park), and feeling like bag lady incarnate!

However, did good deed, took someone else's child with us, DROVE, ds2 delighted to have companion, child came back and played Subbuteo and had lunch, I had nice chat with two Home Edders (gradually seeing same faces again) And the house was so clean when I returned, a delight to have a visitor (albeit he probably didn't notice being only 11)

Then watched Dr Who dvds with ds2 until others came home, Lidl fish pie for supper, and remains of veg curry.

Evening all.

Hope all those feeling rotten, stressed and generally rubbish feel better soon. Tomorrow is another day.

DH took an unexpected half day so we popped intotown, got ds some new shoes and me some cosy slippers, then I had a kip on the sofa.

ta da
3x washing
washing up
emptied bathroom bin
town

night, night!

Agh! Another dire evening here. We were going to go into town to see the big free fireworks display, but the roads/parking were horrendous, so were going to cycle. But DH had a puncture and no time to fix it. So we’ve had plans thrown out, massively disappointed boys and been rebuffed by DS1 on all attempts to fix it. Eventually got him into bed and collapsed with and Chinese takeaway.

swan - Brighton trip sounds good.

Goth - squirrel hat sound fab too.

WhoKnows - love the snowflakes. I made a huge batch of those a couple of Christmases ago. Very satisfying. :)

fuzz - so sorry to hear about all the stress and upset.

Yikes to poo explosion, Engels. Hope the day improved!

Glad you’re improving SC. Hope you can continue to take things slowly, and yay for sister arriving.

Terry - hope your DS enjoyed the trip.

Bitchy - realistic lists good sometimes. Are you recovered from virus protection?

at your DS2 and “Daddy made it messy again,” Toffee. How nice of him to make breakfast in bed, too.

Alice Sorry things are so stressful.

Links:

Babystep 8 is starting on a control journal. Some people swear by them. I’ve never made one. Horses for courses I guess.

No missions at the weekend. Saturday is family fun day, allegedly.
***

WhoKnows lovely snowflake.

Hope everyone who's feeling run down today or has poorly DCs has a better evening/day tomorrow

Not sure quite what I've done today, had to nip to the city and it seems to have wiped the rest of the day out. But the lounge looks a bit tidier so I must have achieved something.

Very funny that we swapped trips for the day yesterday, Swan: you're right - I hadn't thought of it like that. Yes, the change is essential from time to time. Your description of subtle family criticisms - whilst ignoring beams in eyes - made me smile. By the way, I also had to go out in an odd assortment of clothes today. I don't seem to be able to keep up with washing at the moment. Maybe it's a home-ed issue and we'll both end up looking like bag ladies...

fuzz - I have also been the subject of many pointed remarks from female members of the family. I would have appreciated more support when times were difficult, rather than criticism, frankly. I hope that, if I ever have a DIL or two, I will see an untidy house as an opportunity to help out, rather than make disparaging remarks. I heard an interesting discussion on R4 once about why mothers, in particular, always criticise their daughter's housekeeping. One suggestion, which I think rings true, is that it makes the mother feel needed if they feel their DD is still struggling in some way. My own mother hurt my feelings very much on my last visit by making a huge song and dance about having cleared out my fridge and finding all sorts of out-of-date vegetables in the rack. She actually told me I had to check my fridge before doing the shopping, so that I wouldn't replicate stuff. I'm 49, FFS, I think I know that!

I also find it inherently sexist that it is always the woman who is blamed for the state of the house. Why isn't my husband seen as equally responsible?

Blue - so sorry your plans went awry this evening. It sounds very frustrating and disappointing.

Engels - cosy slippers and a nap on the sofa - how lovely!

SC - glad you are on the mend. Isn't it lovely when you can resume normal life again after being ill? I'm sorry about the high blood pressure though and hope you can get it sorted soon.

Alice - so sorry you're feeling so stressed at the moment. I hope life calms down a bit soon.

Terry - hope your DD's school trip went well. Bet she'll be tired and glad to be sleeping in her own bed tonight.

Bitchy - hope you feel better tomorrow.

Goth - hurrah for tidy lounge !

WhoKnows - gorgeous snowflake. I am picturing your home festooned with crocheted pumpkins and snowflakes now.

ellie - enjoy your quiet weekend. It will feel strange, I'm sure, but make the most of it (long lie ins, maybe....?).

Well, we went to our first home-ed meet-up today. Gave DS2 a pep talk on the way, all about how good it was to move out of our comfort zone and how he could handle anxiety. However, he was absolutely determined not to enjoy himself and so, of course, he didn't. I hope that he will gradually change his mind because I really enjoyed myself and am determined to go back. Everyone was very welcoming and I met some very nice people, one of whom lives round the corner from us and wants to meet up.

DS2 was appalled when I said we would be going every fortnight!

We were meant to be taking DS1 to visit his new specialist school tomorrow, but he is refusing to go. He says he doesn't want to go there because everyone there is 'weird'. I resisted saying that he'd fit in just fine! I'll have to ring the school in the morning and tell them that we need longer to prepare him. It's so frustrating as the Statement can't be finalised until DS1 has completed a taster day at the school - or at least a taster morning.

Am awake at this silly time thanks to falling asleep with DS2 for the second night running.

Hope everyone manages to enjoy a fun-filled family day tomorrow .

Sorry for the stress-out yesterday. I'm going to try to take things one day at a time and not let things get to me. Christmas is coming up and I'm damned if I'm going to let anything ruin it for me.

I got out my Christmas cds yesterday and I'm going to start listening to them - they relax me and put me in a good mood. Don't care if people think it's too early, as long as I'm happy (and it's harming nobody, obviously).

Lots to do today.

ta da
pancakes for breakfast yum!
school allergy form for ds2 completed
washing up
first load of laundry in dryer, second load in washer
sorted out paperwork to do today into stacks and priority
got out a plastic box to put "pending Christmas stuff/decor" in until it's up
put away laundry from yesterday

to do
paperwork... tons of it (where DOES it all come from? )
strip sheets from beds and wash them
do more shredding
transfer recipes from binder to cards
tidy dining room
tidy bedroom (that'll be a big job!)
check bank
check budget
bake cake with dcs

I am debating going up into the attic today at some point and getting out the Christmas boxes. I need to go through them and do a sort out, and I'd like to get that done tomorrow.

There are two tv's playing rather loudly with christmas films on in the house. I thik it is the same film. I am still wondering if death by christmas film is a suitable defense I am of the no christmas stuff before the start of advent. BUT happy with the prep done quietly but i think that is due to working in retail in the past when they play the same fucking cd of some songs all day every day for the entire christmas retail period. Don't care about what others do just don't personally want to hear it.

late night last night and was happily asleep until the phone went. It has changed the whole of my priorities for tomo but hey ho tis life.
first thought is breakfast. And if the building work (going on in the room below mine) allows it I might go back to sleep.

Ah Blue that's pants about missing the fireworks, especially a free showing. We have to pay £30 for my family of 5 to watch the local firework show. Hope your boys are a bit more joyful this morning. You feel so bad when their hopes get dashed, don't you.
Haha Alice we try not to even utter the word Christmas in this house until December as DC3 birthday is the end of November and it takes the excitement away from her a bit. But that doesn't stop me from visiting the Christmas shop in town when they're at school...
Toffee that's really not nice that your mum makes you feel bad about your home. I'm lucky I guess, as even though my DM is a lot tidier than me she has never made a single remark about the state of my home (and believe me it's been quite a state on some occasions)
Aw Stewed I hope you're feeling better and your blood pressure improves soon.

My DD had a lovely time on her school week away, so many stories to tell, so excited to sleep in her own bed last night, has woken up this morning with a tummy ache, feeling a bit sick. She gets tummy bugs so easily, especially this time of year, I've become accustomed to cleaning up sick but I still hate it so much. Fingers crossed it will pass. She's bought home enough dirty washing from her trip without adding sicky sheets into the mix!

Morning all!

Christmassy here - DS has just asked to watch The Snowman

I have been rubbish at personals recently. My head feels like it's going to explode with all the things still to be done at school before a) report deadline and b) my maternity leave starts. I think part of the reason I was so exhausted on Friday was the 3 hectic work days before combined with pg. Have decided to see if I can put DS in nursery for the next 2 Fridays to give me a chance to really get all my paperwork, marking, reports finished, otherwise I will be stressed out for the next 2 weekends. Maybe I am a bit of a control freak but I don't want to go away leaving a mess, especially with colleagues who are less experienced covering for me. I don't think it's fair on them or my students.

Had a productive day so far though - that kip on the sofa yesterday did me the world of good!

Ta da
-Supermarket for a proper shop so I won't have to go on Monday. Went early enough that it wasn't heaving.
-Washed, hoovered, tidied my car and topped up wiper fluid at the same time as supervising DS who wanted to help. Enough distraction will bubbles to enable me to get on with it though I did give DH a death stare when he said 'You can do mine if you want' since he's been child free all morning tidying things up in the loft and reconnecting printer/scanner etc
-emptied outside bin, bathroom bin, kitchen bin, plastic recycling, kitchen scraps
-one load of washing, now in td
-swept and partially mopped kitchen floor
-ordered secret santa present
-online banking

Plan for rest of today since DH is still doing work upstairs and huffing and puffing right now because he can't find something is for me to relax in front of TV with DS and if I feel like it do some marking. have told DH tomorrow is child free for me as I will be marking away.

Afternoon all. So far so good on solo weekend. Went food shopping last night and bought lovely food that only I like. Watched my tv and relaxed last night. This morning I lounged in bed for a while and then got up and lounged on sofa binge watching Criminal Minds. Am now about to do a bit of flying. First day in about 3 months which I have nothing to do and nowhere to be and no-one to please in any way shape or form apart from myself. It is quite lovely.

Back later with some flying to report hopefully. Flying will be done with music blaring out of my choice and possibly some singing.